And she needed to see Bash again.
Tears streamed down her face, hidden by the rain. She could have died, and she’d never even told him that she loved him.
Chapter Eighteen
Bash stared at his butler, sick dread weighing down his stomach. “What do you mean, they’re not here?”
“You sent a missive, Your Grace. For them to join you.”
Several words of profanity rose to his lips. “Where did I tell them to join me?” He looked over at Infamy, his face mirroring his own feelings of horror.
“Their home.”
“Fuck,” Infamy whispered. “This is bad.”
“How long ago did they leave?” he barked out.
“Twenty minutes ago, Your Grace.”
“Let’s go,” Bash said, turning on his heel. “With the rain, we might be able to catch them.”
He began racing toward the barn where his horse was still saddled. It didn’t take him but a minute to climb up and start the journey toward Isabella’s home. Would he reach her in time?
But as he made the first turn, a carriage careened toward him. His carriage.
“Is that…” Infamy asked behind him.
“Isabella.” She was driving the horses like a woman possessed.
Her wet hair was plastered to her face as she cracked the reins again. A woman had never looked more beautiful than she did in this moment. “Your driver was shot,” she called out as she approached at full speed.
“Slow down,” he yelled back, and she pulled up the reins. In an instant, he was off his horse again. “Infamy, can you get my driver?”
“Of course.” The other man nudged his horse and was off without another word.
The carriage hadn’t stopped but Bash swung himself up into the seat next Isabella. “What happened?”
“Isabella,” Emily yelled from the back. “Can we explain later? Our other rescuer has been shot.”
Bash looked back to see the man who’d been at the club holding onto the back where the footman might rest, Emily tucked into his embrace. His eyebrows rose to see the protective stance of the other man, his body wrapped securely around the youngest Carrington sister.
“I’m fine,” the man called back. “But let’s get to safety.”
Bash nodded and took the reins from Isabella, starting the horses once again.
It only took them a few minutes to return to his house.
Jumping down from the seat, he flew to the back of the carriage. Knowing that Isabella was safe, this was his chance to get answers. How had that man come to their rescue, who was he, and what did he want from Emily?
But the man who’d been there moments before was gone.
“Where is he?” Bash asked, Emily gripping the slick bar on her own.
She frowned, her lip trembling. “He left.”
“I can see that. Where? Who is he?”
“I don’t know,” Emily answered as she trembled.
Bash gave a frustrated sigh, but he helped her down off the small platform.
“All he said was that he’d see me again soon. And then he was gone,” Emily said. “I know he was shot…I saw the blood, but he said it was nothing but a graze.”
Emily started to cry, and the carriage door flew open, Eliza skidding past him to whisk her sister into her arms.
Isabella’s hand slipped into his and he looked over at his soaking wet goddess. “You got down.”
Isabella gave him a sweet smile. “Eliza says that I am very strong. I’ve never thought that about myself, but I did just drive a coach and six through the rain after I battled off a man attempting to kidnap us. Perhaps she’s right.”
“Kidnap?” The word stuck in his throat. “You were nearly kidnapped?”
She leaned into him, her face nuzzling into his shoulder. “I suppose we can add the story onto the list of items we need to discuss. But I have to confess, this list is growing rather long. Perhaps we shouldn’t wait until tonight.”
“Tonight isn’t soon enough to talk?” he said as he slipped an arm about her waist, pulling her even closer.
“Three more major events could happen between now and then.”
Even he had to chuckle at that. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Oh. And Caroline, our former Aunt Mildred, quit. It likely doesn’t matter since our uncle just attempted our kidnapping. She was only here to preserve our relationship with him.”
“And your reputations,” he added. “But we don’t need her for that anymore either.”
She stiffened against him. “Have we been ruined today? Did everyone learn of my activities? I know I just said I was strong but that is going to be painful and—”
“No,” he interrupted. “You’ve not been ruined.” He took her hand into his. “In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’ve attained a special license. I am hoping you will consent to be my wife.”
“Thank the Lord,” Eliza cried.
Abigail let out a whoop of joy. “We’re saved.”
But Bash didn’t look away as Isabella tipped her head to look at him. “But last night…” she started with a frown.
He saw the hurt in her eyes and he winced, knowing that he’d caused it. “I know what I said. But I can’t leave you unprotected any longer. It’s time to be the man you need me to be.” He only hoped she still liked that man when he denied her children and a real marriage bed.
She gave a single nod. “I accept.”
He gave her another squeeze as her sisters cheered again. But Isabella didn’t join them. She cocked her head staring at him with a furrowed brow.
Had it been the least romantic proposal ever? His trepidation was likely evident on his face. What if she changed her mind when she heard the type of marriage he had in mind?
Isabella remained tucked under the warmth of Bash’s arm as they moved into the house.
Despite his heat, she felt cold all the way down to her core. Probably because of the rain and the actions of her uncle. But another piece of her knew, the sadness creeping into her thoughts, was as much about that proposal as anything else.
She couldn’t say no. Her sisters needed her to say yes. And if she were honest, she didn’t want to. She loved Bash.
But she wanted him to love her too.
And he hadn’t whispered a single word about love, or emotion, or even mild affection. Protection…duty. That’s what he’d offered.
She looked up at him then, his face also set in hard lines. She sighed. This was one more item to add to their list.
She had to tell him how she felt. If that pushed him away, so be it. She’d share her past too and her fears. It was time to share everything. If he rejected her…she could only hope she was as strong as Eliza believed.
But she trembled as she thought of the rejection she was facing.
“You must be frozen,” he said, pulling her tighter against him.
That eased her fear just a bit. She turned to her sisters. “Bash and I have several things to discuss. I trust you can recover without us.”
Eliza gave her a quick wink. “Of course.”
Caroline, or Aunt Mildred, trailed behind. “About my resignation,” she called to Bash. “I’ve reconsidered.”
But it was Isabella who turned to the other woman. “Go to your room and get warm. We’ll discuss your employment tomorrow.”
Bash winked and, without a word, continued up the stairs past the various sitting rooms and the wing that held his office…at least she thought that might be the one.
They kept going up the stairs until they reached the third floor where they turned into her…room.
“This is where we’re going to talk?” she asked, her brows lifting.
“We both need to get out of these wet clothes,” he answered. “And don’t worry. I’ll keep my hands to myself. Last night was a mistake.”
That made her stop short. Was he marrying her because of what they’d done? “A mistake?”
He pulled her into the room and beg
an to unbutton her pelisse. “I shouldn’t have touched you like that outside of wedlock.”
“You’ve touched other women outside of wedlock, haven’t you?”
“They were different,” he murmured as he began to work the wet sleeves of her dress loose.
“Why?” she asked, her breath catching. She was shaking as much from her nerves as much as she was from the cold.
“Because they were not women I was considering for marriage.”
“Oh,” she said softly.
“I thought we had a whole list of things to discuss.”
“We do. We are,” she said as he tugged her skirt down and she stepped out of the soaking fabric. She took a deep breath as he loosened the strings of her corset. “I don’t want you to marry me out of obligation.”
His fingers stilled. “I am the duke who will rescue your family from certain disaster.”
“Bash.” She turned to look at him then as she slipped her hands into his. Most of the very wet garments were off and the heat from the fire seeped into her cold skin. “You’ve been wonderful. From the first moment you met me you’ve protected me and my sisters. But…” She took a deep breath.
“What?” He let go of her hands, shrugged off his coat and then sat, stripping off his boots. She waited as his gaze cast down to the floor. Finally, he looked up at her. “I know there is a but coming.”
She drew in a deep breath. “You make me afraid.”
“Afraid?” He stood suddenly and crossed over to her. His face was drawn in deep lines of hurt. “You’re afraid of me?”
“Not of you. I’d never be afraid of you. I’m afraid of…” Her voice trailed off.
“What?”
“My father left. My mother’s gone. If I were honest, since I met you, I’ve expected you to leave too. I…” She slipped her arms about his waist, laying her head on his damp shirt. “I’ve tried to keep things even. I’ve tried to make this a business arrangement because I don’t want to care.”
He sucked in his breath as he pulled her closer. “You don’t want to…”
“No, I didn’t.” She ran her hands down the length of his arms. “But I do. You had to be so dashing and gallant and run in and rescue me and then there is the fact that you’re so handsome and your body…” She didn’t finish, embarrassed by what she’d been about to say.
He leaned close to her ear. “I rather like your body too.”
That made her smile but then she thought of what she still needed to say, and the words stuck in her throat. She cleared it, drawing in a breath. “I plan to marry you, Bash. You know that. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t warn you that I believe I have fallen in love with you.”
Isabella wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but he stiffened, shifting away. “You can’t. We can’t…I already told you. I can’t allow you to bring my guard down.”
Those words ripped through her and she choked on her breath. Taking a step back, she wrapped her arms about her middle. “I know. That’s why I was going to leave. I can’t help the way I feel, and you can’t change your past.”
He shook his head, raking his hands over his scalp. “I need to think on all of this.”
And then he turned on his heel and left the room.
Isabella watched him go and she waited until the door closed to drop down on her knees.
Strong? She didn’t feel strong right now. She felt the weakest she’d ever been. And as for her future, he had just walked out the door.
Chapter Nineteen
Bash sat in his room staring into the fire.
Isabella had told him that she loved him, and he’d walked away.
Hours later, he still ached. Because he’d wanted to throw his arms about her, kiss her senseless, tell her he loved her too, and then make love to her until the sun rose on their wedding day.
But he didn’t dare. He thought of his father’s face when he was in a rage. He’d hated that face. The tension, the pain he knew would follow his loss of control.
He’d die before he passed on this legacy.
He was protecting Isabella. Wasn’t he? But then he thought of Mason. His brother had sworn that a wife would make Bash a better man. That he was supposed to use that anger to protect her.
He dropped his head into his hands, scrubbing his face. Who was right?
A soft knock sounded at his door. “Bash?”
He stood up so quickly that he knocked his chair over. It crashed onto the floor. “Isabella. What are you doing here?”
“Well,” she said with a sigh. “I would have come sooner but it took me forever to find your suite of rooms. Do you have a map of the place? I shall need it after the wedding.”
Wedding. He was marrying Isabella.
Crossing the room, he opened the door. “I’ll draw one for you myself.”
She stood just on the other side of the door and her lips curled into a soft smile, his boots in her hand. He’d left them in her room earlier and had padded down the hall in stockings like a schoolboy before he’d donned another pair. “Thank you. Always so good to me.”
The words made him cringe. He hadn’t been very good to her today. Was he hurting her even as he attempted to protect her? That made him pause.
“May I?” she asked, gesturing into the room.
“Of course.” He stepped back. “But just out of curiosity, what is the purpose of this visit?”
She walked in and gave him a knowing stare. “We had a lengthy discussion agenda and barely made it through item one.”
That made him smile. “Item one was?”
“Confessing my love and sharing my past.”
She lowered her head, but he caught her pained expression just before she did. He let out a long breath. “I didn’t mean to leave. I just—”
“Don’t explain. Are we still to wed?”
“Of course,” he answered, moving closer. “You’ll have my protection. That I promise.”
She looked up at him then. “Bash. You don’t need to promise. I know I have your protection. I have since the first moment we met. I trust you with everything. My life, my safety, and my heart. I know you’ll keep all of them safe.”
“What?” He shifted, his throat tight as those words sank in.
“You are the kindest, strongest man I know. I can’t imagine what growing up with a father like yours would do to a person. I’ve been trying to picture it. My cousin, Avery, is Uncle Malcolm’s daughter. She lives with a tyrant and she shrinks into herself every day.” Isabella reached for his hands. “I’ll be as patient as you need me to be. I have no idea how long it takes to recover from such treatment. But I need you to know, I think you’re the best sort of man. You would never hurt me. You take care of the people around you. You build them up rather than—”
But he didn’t let her finish. Instead, he captured her lips with his own.
Because her words had eased some ache inside.
Like a shaft of light, penetrating the darkness, she pierced into his perceptions. He lifted his head to look down into her large brown eyes. “But I used to be so angry and…”
She shook her head. “You are not him, Bash. You never have been.”
“You didn’t know him.” He swallowed.
She slipped her arms about his waist. “I know you.”
Placing his forehead onto hers, he looked deep into her eyes. “Was this item two? Convince Bash he’s not a monster?”
“No, but item three is setting a date for our nuptials. Did you say tomorrow? And four is discussing how we’re going to catch my uncle, and five—”
He kissed her again. Not to make her stop but just because he couldn’t wait another moment. It was long and slow, and their mouths clung together. “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said as he pulled back just a bit. “But you’re ridiculously intelligent and beautiful and I can’t seem to resist you no matter how much I try.”
“Do you think I’m strong too?” she asked as she raised on her tiptoes and kissed him again.
“Very,” he answered, returning the touch and taking another.
She nodded. “Then you can trust me to be strong enough to keep you in check.”
Now that was one of the best ideas he’d heard in a long time. Here in her arms, his fears were falling away one by one. “Mason claims he’ll be the first to kill me if I ever hurt you.” He slid his hand down her back, settling her body closer to his.
“An ally. Excellent,” she murmured against his lips. “You have a whole network of people who love you, Bash.”
He slid his hand down, cupping her perfect backside.
And he realized she was right. He was different from his father. Because the Demon Duke had allowed no one close to his heart and he’d loved no one in return.
But that wasn’t Bash.
He had friends, good ones. And a brother who was the best sort of man.
And he had Isabella.
The love of his life.
“Isabella,” he whispered before he kissed her again. “I love you, too. So much.”
The world around Isabella tilted making her unsteady on her feet. Or perhaps it had just been her head. Because Bash had just told her that he loved her.
She squeezed his biceps. “What?”
“Isabella.” He looked down at her, giving her a gentle smile. “I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you and you were dressed as a man. It was…awkward.”
She laughed then. “You love me?”
“Very much,” he said, then began to unbutton her gown. “As to your items: We marry tomorrow. I’m having your uncle followed so that we might catch him in the act, and the smartest man I know, the Earl of Goldthwaite, is investigating our mystery man.”
“Oh. That is very efficient,” she said as she allowed him to take off her dress, the fabric sliding to the floor.
“Now,” he rumbled low and deep. “I am going to make love to you. And I’m not going to worry about keeping my distance because it was never really possible, was it?”
“No.” She blushed, heat infusing her cheeks. “But I’m glad we’re in agreement.”
“About the marriage, the plan, or making love?”
Duke of Decadence Page 12
