His mouth poised above hers, Stein watched her ruthlessly, his eyes not missing a thing. As her eyelashes fluttered helplessly his lips touched her cheek and she murmured his name.
‘Stein,’ she whispered. ‘Oh, please …!’
In a daze her arms crept round his neck. She was in such turmoil she scarcely knew what she was doing.
For a moment she felt his mouth harden, then he withdrew, leaving her in a .state of chill disappointment.
‘Are you ready to beg yet?’ he asked coldly.
‘No!’ she gasped with the first breath she could find, wondering if this was part of the torture he was devising. Burning with humiliation, she tried to bury her hot face in the hands he had wrenched from the back of his neck, to prevent him seeing how vulnerable she was.
He didn’t allow her any form of retreat. Ruthlessly he thrust her hands aside to lift her chin, crushing the protests from her lips with his mocking mouth. ‘You will,’ he promised, under his breath.
‘But why?’ Helen heard herself gasping tremulously.
‘Because you’re mine,’ came back the answer, without hesitation.
Her heart racing unsteadily, she twisted futilely in his grasp, terrified of his insistence. ‘You don’t own me!’ she cried apprehensively. ‘I might owe you a lot, but that doesn’t give you the right to do as you like with me!’
Her unceasing defiance snapped the control Stein was keeping over his temper. His hard fingers were suddenly biting into her shoulders and her alarmed glance saw that the grey eyes were darkening almost to black. She recognised too clearly the anger blazing in them, and her body began to tremble.
‘Stein—’ she began.
‘I refuse to argue,’ he cut her off tersely, reading her mind easily as he stared at her. ‘We’ve been over all this before. You know as well as I do that no amount of talking can alter anything.’
Somehow she couldn’t leave it. ‘We’ve scarcely discussed the money you loaned me,’ she said desperately. He was still holding her so she couldn’t move, but in spite of the pain she didn’t want to, not I until she made another attempt to make him understand. Otherwise she might never get her freedom.
‘I wasn’t aware of the true circumstances or I wouldn’t have taken a penny!’
One of his hands returned to her chin and, although she shrank from him, he bent to trace a taunting path along her cheek to her ear, his mouth softly tantalising her heated skin. ‘Could you prove you were ignorant of the true circumstances?’ he drawled sarcastically. ‘I suggest you turned a blind eye to what was going on in order to continue leading a life of leisure.’
Beads of perspiration broke out on her temples.
‘That’s not true!’ she gasped.
He watched her intently and she began feeling half demented by his probing grey eyes which seemed to be eating her up. Was he trying to lay her soul bare? she wondered hysterically. Was he searching for indisputable evidence of her guilt?
‘A dishonest person,’ he snarled, ‘often doesn’t recognise the difference between borrowing and stealing.’
Helen shivered, frantically moistening suddenly dry lips. He had her trapped, she could see. She must owe him thousands, not to mention the debts he had paid off for her father. She couldn’t be sure if he would sue her, but, morally, he had her in a cleft stick. If she refused to do exactly as he said; the outcome might be worse than she could ever imagine. She could see it in the glinting harshness of his eyes, had felt it in the cruelty of his hands and mouth. He was consumed by a thirst for revenge which had to be assuaged. She doubted if he would ever trust her again, but she had to obey him and endure his castigation. She would do anything willingly, all but one thing. Her heart pounded as she prayed he wouldn’t ask that of her.
She moved her head back with a jerk as his mouth twisted and he began kissing her again, as if cynically amused by her too transparent thoughts but unheeding of them. This time his kisses were demanding and urgent and she tried to prevent her lips parting in response, her body from arching against his. She had to get away from him! She hoped, if she persisted, he might lose interest and send her to bed. ‘You can’t believe I knowingly took your money?’ she choked, when he allowed her to breathe.
‘Don’t you ever give up?’ he snapped impatiently. ‘It might be a good idea if you asked yourself some of the questions you’re asking me. The answers you find might surprise you.’
Would they? Trembling, she searched her mind, attempting to do as he suggested. Why hadn’t she suspected something was wrong? She had to admit it didn’t seem possible that she had remained entirely ignorant of what was happening to her father. If she hadn’t been so busy fighting her feelings for Stein, mightn’t she have noticed a lot more?
‘I can’t prove you’re wrong,’ she said despondently. ‘There are things you don’t understand.’
‘Never mind,’ Stein’s voice ‘Came falsely soothing, ‘if you can’t settle your debts in the ordinary way, you will in another.’
Helen stiffened as his hands began caressing her intimately, clearly indicating his exact meaning. If she hadn’t wholly believed in his threats before she did now.
‘You can’t be serious!’ she cried angrily, a hot flush staining her cheeks.
His grip tightened, forcing a low cry from her. ‘I think you ought to know, Helen, I’ve never been more serious in my life. I intend having you, and you must have realised by now that I usually get what I want in the end.’
‘However low you have to stoop to achieve your ends,’ she exclaimed unwisely.
He didn’t notice the panic driving her. His face darkened, concentrating on her derision. ‘Don’t ever say anything to me like that again!’
‘What do you expect,’ she retorted, dredging up her last drains of defiance, ‘when you threaten and bully all the time? You use your strength to achieve what you never could otherwise!’
For a moment he stared at her, a muscle jerking in his cheek. As her eyes flashed there was an answering flash in his. ‘You’re either a fool or a very brave woman,’ he said softly.
‘I realise I’m not the kind of woman you admire,’ she returned hotly.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You prefer women like Barbara,’ she said coldly.
His eyes narrowed, his glance still intent. ‘Ah, yes, Miss Bates,’ he smiled. ‘So you’ve noticed how nice she is?’
‘I’ve noticed she looks very willing!’ she said bitterly.
‘So will you be, before I’m through with you,’ he assured her softly. ‘There’s no need to be jealous.’
‘You can’t be serious?’ she gasped.
‘You refuse to believe I am—about anything,’ he said curtly. ‘Perhaps it’s time I stopped talking.’
Before she could move he was lifting her on to the bed, changing his own position to lie down beside her.
If she hadn’t been so drained and exhausted beneath her fleeting bravado she might have found the strength to fight him. As it was, her struggles lasted only a few moments before being completely suppressed by his weight.
‘Have you had enough?’ he rasped, as she lay panting under him. ‘I won’t pretend I intend treating you any better than you once treated me, but I thought you would have the sense to know when you’re beaten.’
As far as Stein was concerned she had known she was beaten a long time ago, only she’d had too much pride and too little sense to admit it. She moaned weakly as his mouth searched and found hers and his long, supple fingers tightened their hold on her.
‘Open your mouth,’ he ordered, his breath searing her lips.
Desire flared up inside her and she obeyed immediately. Helplessly she found herself responding as he began kissing her more deeply than he had ever done previously. Her soft lips moved under his as she began kissing him back, her body arching feverishly to his increasing demands. She was beyond thinking sensibly any more. The blood was singing in her ears and she heard his swift intake of
breath as she moved against him. There was an ache in the bottom of her stomach which she sensed only Stein could satisfy, and suddenly she knew she wanted him to make love to her. She had never wanted to belong to a man before, but she did now.
When he thrust her away from him she felt cold and bemused by his abrupt rejection. He rolled on his back and got to his feet, reaching for a heavy silk dressing-gown.
Helen opened dazed eyes, the effort almost beyond her, and stared at him. He was shrugging his powerful shoulders into the black silk robe. He tied the belt before turning to look at her again.
‘Go back to your room,’ he snapped. ‘I don’t want a woman who’s trying to buy her freedom the only way she knows how.’
She managed to get to the edge of the bed, her face burning, but she had to wait a moment, until the strength returned to her shaking limbs, before she could get any farther.
‘You said there was only one way,’ she whispered.
‘Yes,’ Stein admitted furiously, ‘but I’d be a fool if I didn’t realise your attitude’s all wrong.’ He moved closer, his face coming within range of the bedside light, so hard and cruel she scarcely recognised it. His mouth contorted in self-derision. ‘I may be a fool, but I want your mind as well as your body-and both together. I want to hear you say you can’t live without me, there’ll be no half measures. And nothing’s going to happen so quickly that it will be over before you have time to realise what it’s all about.’
It wasn’t soothing speculating over what new tortures Stein was about to devise, and Helen fell asleep wondering if she was going out of her mind. In the morning she felt she had just closed her eyes whim he was in her room, shaking her.
‘Join me in the kitchen in five minutes,’ he commanded, as she gazed at him, only half awake, her expression compounded of fear and bewilderment.
‘Why?’ she managed to ask.
‘You’re going for a swim,’ his tone of voice challenged her to refuse. ‘I’m tired of seeing you creeping round like a ghost. Even when you thought you owned the place you looked only half alive. I want the woman you were, Helen, not the shadow of her you appear to be.’
‘What can you expect,’ she breathed in a daze, ‘when I’ve just lost my father?’
‘That happened over eighteen months ago.’
‘You never forget, do you?’
Stein’s face tightened as he stared at her bare shoulders. ‘If you don’t get some clothes on you might be surprised at what I can forget,’ he retorted enigmatically.
When she joined him in the, kitchen it was still dark.
‘It’s only half past six,’ she said, glancing at the clock disbelievingly. ‘Why drag me out at this hour?’
‘Once, Helen, the majority of people in the country were up before this hour, and I thought I explained the purpose of the exercise upstairs?’
She stared at the two cups of tea he was pouring. Her head ached and so did her legs. ‘I don’t know that I feel like swimming.’
‘Well, isn’t that a pity!’ He spooned a liberal helping of sugar into both cups, pushing one towards her.
‘Drink that-it will put some energy into you. You’ve had it too easy in France. Too much sex and lying around in the sun.’
Helen didn’t answer. When Stein stated anything as decisively he would never believe he was wrong, and her throat felt so sore she couldn’t be bothered to argue this morning. ‘At least there was enough sunshine,’ she muttered dully, as her throat eased with a gulp of hot tea.
‘A lot can be achieved without it,’ he said harshly, taking her arm and steering her out of the back door.
The path from the house to the pool was well lighted and there was no one around. The air was freezing and Helen shivered, wishing she had worn a warmer coat. A few stars twinkled overhead while, from the direction of an old ruined tower, some distance from the house, an owl hooted. In some woods not far away another answered, the sound echoing eerily across the space between. Usually Helen loved the owls and pigeons and other birds that lived around Oakfield and she wondered why, this morning, she failed to appreciate them. It wasn’t only her limbs that seemed frozen, it was her heart.
In the huge barn where Stein had installed the pool it wasn’t much warmer than it was outside. Helen thought she would rather die than complain, but she could whip up no enthusiasm. As she stood on the edge of the pool, staring down into it, she saw Stein was already in the water. He was obviously an expert, judging by his powerful strokes which were bringing him swiftly from the far end of the pool towards her.
She moved uncomfortably in her bikini without actually feeling self-conscious. In France many girls didn’t even wear as much, although she had never, herself, gone in for nude bathing. Dully, as Stein approached, she began braiding her long hair out of the way at the back of her head, wishing she had remembered to bring a bathing cap. She didn’t often use one, but it might have been better than getting her hair wet when she didn’t feel so good.
Stein didn’t ask her to join him. When she made no move to do so he simply got out and threw her in.
Picking her up in his arms, holding her tightly against his hard wet body, he strode to the top of the pool and threw her in at the deep end.
The shock of the cold water gave Helen such a fright she cried out. Why had he done such a thing? He was always so impatient with her. Remembering the days when his patience had been never-ending, she smothered a sob. Sinking a little way, she instinctively righted herself and shot back to the surface. If he was just having fun, she admitted she might have enjoyed it if she had been feeling better.
She was breathless, but she saw he was laughing. She was startled to see so much warmth in his face. Her heart felt suddenly incredibly lighter as she began thinking he had forgiven her. It seemed a long time since she had seen him. looking at her like that.
With the beginnings of a tentative smile on her lips she swam a little further, until she could lift herself out.
It was then that she received a rude awakening as Stein crouched derisively over her and pushed her straight back in again.
Too late she realised he had merely been coaxing her to return to his side. Unable to save herself, this time she sank to the bottom like a stone. Stein must have jumped in after her, for she saw him near her in the water. His arms lifted, as if in remorse, to help her, but past resisting such an opportunity, she clenched a fist and hit him furiously on the side of his dark head.
It must have hurt, because she heard a muffled exclamation as he grasped her savagely, hauling her against him. Her hair floated on the water and he grabbed a handful of it to jerk her head over his arm.
Before she knew what he was doing, his other hand was supporting her back and she caught a glimpse of the quick anger on his face as he began kissing her mercilessly, until she thought she would choke.
Her lips were crushed against her teeth, she could feel them piercing the sensitive skin, but he easily controlled her when she tried to push him away. He held her . closely with only enough room between them to allow his hands free access to what seemed every part of her.
They floated slowly towards the shallow end, where Stein’s feet hit the bottom and he pulled her full length against him, his legs firmly entwining hers when again she tried to wriggle frantically free of him.
Helen’s heart was racing and she moaned, soft, shuddering breaths shaking her. His long fingers played over her, stroking and tormenting until her whole body felt on fire. The heat sweeping through her, combined with the coldness of the water, had a curiously erotic effect. She could feel his whipcord muscles beneath her hot hands, and suddenly she found herself clinging to him, her hands beginning to creep round his neck.
Sensing the danger of this, she gasped against his punishing mouth, ‘Will you let go of me, you beast!’
He lifted his head a mere fraction, his eyes still smouldering. ‘I’ll. teach you to hit me, you vicious little brat!’
Belen shivered, her eyes brilliant
, her face flushed.
Staring at him, she burst out bitterly, ‘You shouldn’t have thrown me in!’
He bent his head to begin kissing her again, then suddenly paused. ‘No,’ he agreed shortly, ‘that was a mistake, but if I hadn’t thrown you in you might have been still standing there thinking about it. I didn’t mean you any harm.’
‘The way you did it didn’t do me any good!’
He shrugged and to her surprise lifted her swiftly out of the water, back to the tiled surrounds. ‘If you didn’t defy me so much I might not react in a way you don’t like,’ was all he said.
Chains of Regret Page 11
