She felt her way to Catherine’s bed. “Catherine,” she could feel the mattress, but not a body. “Cathy,” she said in a tight whisper. Realizing her sister was gone, she screamed. “Daddy—the Klan’s out back and Catherine’s gone!”
****
Kitty gasped loudly as she clung to Ash.
“Holy crap!” He grabbed the seltzer water and extinguished the flames.
Kitty removed Miss Joan’s cape and hastily handed it to him. “Ash, you gotta get out of here! My daddy’ll blow you to kingdom come if you don’t.”
“Believe me, Kitty, I’m not stickin’ around!” Ash said, as he rapidly gathered all the items he’d brought and threw them into his car.
“He’s got rifles!” Kitty practically pushed Ash into his automobile. “He taught all of us how to shoot.”
Ash turned the key in the ignition. “I’m leaving right now! See you in the morning?”
“Yes! Just go!”
“I am. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Ash speedily backed out of the driveway while Kitty slowly approached the house. Suddenly, the light at the back door flashed on, and then Kitty heard her father.
“Catherine!” he yelled as he cocked his rifle and ran down the back steps. “Those damn crackers picked the wrong nigguh to mess with,” she heard him say under his breath.
Ward Wilkes was a large man, hovering just around six feet three inches in his stocking feet. He was the best auto mechanic in town, and even though a Negro, this enabled him to work at the best auto shop in town. At 230 pounds, not much intimidated him. Not even the town’s small Klan population. He knew who they were, including his boss at the shop, and he’d made it known that if any of them ever bothered his family, they wouldn’t live to tell about it.
“Daddy,” Kitty shouted.
“You alright, Catherine?”
“‘Course I am. I just—uh--came out for a little air, ‘cause I—I couldn’t sleep. What you doin’ out here with your rifle?”
“Betty Jean said she saw the Klan out back. She thought they got you.”
“Betty Jean must’ve been seeing things.”
“I’m not taking any chances,” Ward said. “You hurry up and get in the house while I look around.”
Kitty strode inside nonchalantly. Her mother, Sophie, and Betty Jean stood armed and trembling with rifles.
Upon seeing her, Sophie and Betty Jean put down their weapons. “Oh, baby,” Sophie hugged Kitty tightly, “we were so frightened. What were you doing out there?”
The last thing Kitty wanted to do was upset Mama. Although a quiet little schoolteacher who loved literature and classical music, Mama ruled her house with an iron fist.
“Mama, I’m fine. I couldn’t sleep. I needed air.” She coolly recited her lie. “But there weren’t any Klansmen out there. You know Betty Jean can’t half see.” Over her mother’s shoulder, Kitty saw her sister, now with glasses on, glaring at her.
“Ain’t nobody back there,” Ward said walking in the house. “So, Betty Jean,” he put down his rifle, “just what do you think you saw?”
“Fire--and a white robe.”
“Oh, honey,” Sophie said, “you must’ve been dreaming.”
“I wasn’t.” Betty Jean’s tone was hard. “And I heard--” she began, but stopped short. “Well—maybe I was dreaming.”
****
Once settled in bed with the lights off in their bedroom, Kitty tried to go to sleep, but her sister wouldn’t let her.
“So, just what happened out there—while you were getting some air?” Betty Jean asked sharply.
“Nothing. But I—I did go to the outhouse.”
“Why didn’t you just use the slop jar?”
“Well—I figured since I was going out—I might as well—”
“Oh, cut it out, Catherine! You can’t fool me. Something happened out there and it didn’t involve you going the outhouse. I saw fire!
“You don’t know what you saw if you didn’t have your glasses on.”
“Well—I know what I heard! And I heard a car drive off. And it sounded like Ash’s car!”
Kitty’s eyes widened in the dark. “Why would Ash come around here at midnight?”
“You tell me!”
“Betty Jean—you’re imagining things! Now be quiet so we can go to sleep!”
“I’m not imagining anything! After he dropped me off this afternoon--just what did he want to talk to you about?”
“Well--well,” Kitty stammered, “he just came to apologize--for what Miss Lillian Ann said.”
“So, what’d she say that was so horrible?”
“That if she didn’t wear a hat and shawl, she’d turn as black as I am.”
“She’s nothing but a stuck up heifer! You know better than to let anything she said bother you. Remember what Mama says, ‘The white folks just put us down to make themselves feel better.’ The only reason she upset you was because you love Ash!”
Kitty gasped, but didn’t say anything.
“That’s why you cried all afternoon, isn’t it? And that’s why you put on that pretty yellow sundress to go out and see Ash, isn’t it?” Before Kitty could make up something to say, Betty Jean fired off another question. “And after Ash brought me home today, just what was all that about under the oak tree? I saw him pull you behind it after you got out of his car. But you didn’t see me looking out through the living room window, did you?”
Kitty’s heart pounded. That window had been wide open. “You eavesdropped?”
“I tried! But you were whispering. I couldn’t hear a thing. But I didn’t need to! I could see everything clearly by the way the two of you looked at each other!”
“Oh—don’t be trustin’ your ol’ weak eyes!” Kitty said defensively. “He—he just felt bad for what Lillian Ann said, ‘cause she hurt my feelings and all—and—”
“Catherine! You’re playin’ with fire! I don’t want you to get hurt. You gotta be careful with Ash. You won’t admit it, but your emotions are runnin’ all crazy. If he wants to see you again, stay away from him. I don’t know what happened out there tonight—but you’d better not let it happen again!” Betty Jean sighed in exasperation. “You don’t need to be around him. Quitting’s the best thing you could’ve done.”
Kitty hesitated a second. “I—I decided not to quit. But—if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll—um--keep my distance from Ash.”
Chapter 8
“Aunt Izolla?” Kitty knocked on her aunt’s bedroom door.
“Come in, honey chile.” Izolla lay in bed with a cold compress on her forehead.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, chile. I just done sent Betty Jean to the drug store to get me some BC Powder. That medicine always does the trick. It’s just a headache, once it’s gone, I’ll be as good as new.”
Kitty smiled. “Alright, Aunt Izolla. But you holler if you need anything.”
Kitty slowly closed Izolla’s door, then bent down to pick up a basket full of freshly laundered and folded clothes. She walked up the backstairs then down the hall to Ash’s room.
She strode across the thick Oriental carpet to a large oak dresser and opened the first drawer. As she began to put away underwear and socks, she heard the door close and the click of the lock. In the mirror over the dresser she saw Ash’s reflection.
He’d just returned from swimming laps at the country club. Although freshly showered and dressed from his workout, Ash now proceeded to remove his clothes. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on a wing back chair near the bed.
“Izolla’s sick in her room.” He peeled off his undershirt. “And I ran into Betty Jean on my way from the club. She’s walking to the drug store. She’ll be gone, I’d say, at least half an hour. And if you’re not around when she comes back, I doubt she’ll start looking for you right away.” Slowly, he walked toward Kitty. “And Mother’s gonna be gone most of the day working on some volunteer pro
ject at church. So,” he smiled slyly, “now’s a good time…”
“To—make our ‘marriage’ real?” Kitty asked.
“Yeah.”
Kitty still wasn’t entirely comfortable with this. They weren’t actually married. And what if she became pregnant? And what if—after this—he lost interest? She still hadn’t turned to face him, but now he was right behind her. His eyes met hers in the mirror. He wrapped his arms snugly around her waist, and then began kissing her neck.
As she became lost in his embrace, Kitty almost forgot her concerns. All she could concentrate on was the feel of his arms around her, and the firmness of his chest as it conformed to her back. The sensation of his lips behind her ear nearly caused her to abandon all reason.
As he continued kissing her, his hands wandered to the front of her dress. Then he began opening the buttons, one by one. The touch of his hands on her breasts jarred her back to reality, though she didn’t really want to come back.
“Ash.” She gently removed his hands. “We need to talk.”
“Now?!”
“Well—not tomorrow.” She closed enough buttons to cover the lace of her slip, then turned toward him. “I—it’s—it’s just—”
“Are you afraid? I won’t hurt you, I promise. I’ll be gentle.”
Kitty smiled. “Ash, I’m not worried about that.”
“You won’t get pregnant, I’m prepared.”
“That’s a really big concern—but Ash--did you plan that wedding ceremony—just so I’d sleep with you?”
“No.” Ash gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “I did it because I love you--and I want to be married to you. And as far as I’m concerned, we are married.”
Silent for a moment, she then sighed, saying, “But if I do give myself to you this way—there’s no turning back. I’ll be a woman with a past.”
“And I’ll be that past. And the only future you’re gonna have is with me, so what difference does it make?”
For a moment she said nothing, then lowered her gaze to the floor. “What matters, is that one day—I’m afraid you’ll come to your senses—and not love me anymore.”
“That’s not gonna happen. Kitty--I love you-- I’ll always love you.” Ash raised her chin with his fingertips. “You don’t believe me, do you?” She didn’t respond. “What do I have to say to convince you?”
Kitty shook her head slowly while trying to hold back tears. “There’s nothing you can say…you’ll just have to prove it to me--every day.”
Ash held her tightly. “Then I promise—I’ll prove it to you every day.”
“White folks promises don’t mean much. We’re still waiting for our forty acres and a mule.”
“Blame that on the Yankees!” Ash was offended. “They made that promise, not us.”
“But y’all just made sure it wouldn’t happen.”
“Kitty, I’m only asking you to trust--and believe me, okay?”
She nodded, then pulled gently from his embrace and walked to the window. Why couldn’t life be as carefree for her, as it was for the cardinals she watched chirping happily in the trees? Of course, life could be somewhat carefree if she chose to walk away from Ash—for a life with Russell, instead. But that’s not what she wanted. She wanted Ash. Now, however, she had to decide at what cost.
Could she really be committed to him as a “wife” that better fit the description of a mistress or a kept woman? That seemed so tawdry. Mama would be ashamed, and Daddy--he’d just want to put a rifle to Ash’s head. But this was the South, and if she wanted to be with him, that’s what she’d have to settle for. It didn’t seem fair, though. Everything in this relationship would be to his advantage. But what about her, she deserved something—and not just the money he’d provide.
Lawyers—cool headed, analytical and slick—that’s what they were, and she resented them; and right now, though not yet a lawyer, she resented Ash. From a family of lawyers and politicians, he knew the tricks of the trade. Ash had mentioned that he was a champion debater in college. She could’ve guessed that, he could argue his way around anything. Kitty couldn’t debate worth much, and she could never win an argument against him. But she could try—if she used herself as a bargaining chip.
While lost in thought, Kitty was unaware that Ash had joined her at the window. When he placed a hand on her shoulder, she looked up to him. “Ash, you want me to give up everything for you. But what can you do for me—and I don’t mean money. What can you do for my people—my race?”
Ash studied her face for a moment before he spoke. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play stupid with me. You know what I’m getting at. You’re gonna be a lawyer one day—you got your sights set on being the governor. Do something. Change the laws.”
Ash said nothing. His eyes rolled to the left as he began to formulate his thoughts. To Kitty it looked like he was flipping through a mental file box; a calculating tool for any aspiring attorney. Now in S for “Seduction,” he was probably flipping back to P for “Politics.”
“Kitty,” Ash gently squeezed her shoulder, “Negroes have what they need.”
“No we don’t!” She shrugged his hand away. “We can’t even sit at the lunch counter and eat a hot dog at the five and dime!”
“But why would you even want to? That food’s not healthy, and those blasted hot dogs’ll kill you!”
“Ash! You know what I’m really getting at! We—colored folks--live in this country but we can’t even vote! That’s not fair!”
“But what can I do? I didn’t make the rules.”
“Then remake the rules! Look, Ash, I’ll give myself to you—and give up everything—if you promise me—that one day—you’ll make a difference for me and my race.”
Ash was quiet for a few seconds. “Okay.”
Kitty smirked. “That doesn’t sound too convincing. You’re not just saying that to sleep with me, are you?” When Ash didn’t say anything, she crossed her arms. “I should’ve known.”
“Alright, Kitty—I promise—I’ll do what I can.”
“More.”
“What?”
“Promise you’ll do more than you think you can.”
“Kitty—all I can promise—is that I’ll try to do more.”
“Well--I reckon that’s better than not trying at all.” Kitty exhaled deeply, dropping her arms to her sides, only to begin flailing them. “What is it with you white people? Why is it so important for you to be better than us? Why do you have to demoralize us? Why can’t we swim in your pools or go to your parks or eat in your restaurants? Why can’t we use the same door, the same bathroom, or the same water fountain, and why can’t our schools be just as good?”
“Kitty, c’mon. Things aren’t as bad here—as they are in say—Mississippi—or Alabama. But this is the South—and there are just certain mores that—need to stay in place. Unfortunately, keeping the races separate is one of those things.”
“Hypocrite! Separate except behind closed doors!”
Ash swiped sweat from his forehead. “Kitty, why are you carrying on like this?”
“Because I’m angry!” Kitty put her hands on her hips, then defiantly thrust out her chest. Ash’s eyes immediately dropped to her breasts. “I’ll thank you kindly to look at my face when I’m talking to you!” After Ash’s eyes met hers, she continued. “I’m angry with you—and this whole system you white people want to keep in place for no good reason!”
“Can’t we--just forget about it for now,” Ash smiled, “and concentrate on us?”
Kitty ignored his charm. “Forgetting about it’s easy for you!”
“That’s not true.” Ash rubbed her arms gently. “I don’t want things to be like they are for us. But right now—there’s nothing we can do to about it. So—can’t we just make the best of it—and love each other—no matter what?” Ash placed his hands lightly around her waist while gazing deeply into her eyes. Their lips touched, then melted into a slow deep kiss.
/>
Kitty didn’t push him away. Instead she wrapped her arms around Ash’s neck. As her anger diminished, she kissed him with a fervor she didn’t know she had. She pressed herself firmly against him feeling his body meld into hers. Then Ash tightened his embrace, kissing her even more passionately than she’d kissed him.
When he pulled his lips from hers, he said softly, “Kitty, you’re about to drive me crazy. Don’t you want me as bad as I want you?”
With her arms still around him, Kitty smiled. “Of course I do.” She reached to kiss him again. Afterwards she pouted. “Oh, Ash, I wish I didn’t love you so much. Then it would be easy to stay mad at you.” Kitty tipped her head. “Even though I—think you kinda liked it—just a little—when I was angry.” She smiled at the flush of his cheeks.
Ash grinned. “Like nobody’s business. When you were mad, it just got me more excited. So—can we pick up where we left off?”
She looked longingly into his eyes and nodded. “Be gentle,” she almost whispered.
“I promise.” Ash scooped Kitty into his arms and carried her to the bed. In moments, both were unclothed and their bodies entwined in a snug embrace. Ash soon awakened Kitty in places she didn’t know she had, and led her to the heights of euphoric bliss.
Chapter 9
Kitty walked into the bathroom across the hall from Aunt Izolla’s room and closed the door. She and Ash had been intimate for over a month. Opportunities presented themselves everywhere. The Kroths lived in a big house with lots of rooms. There was Ash’s room on the second floor, and the vacant live-in maid’s quarters and storage rooms on the third. Secluded romantic havens, like the peach orchard, also availed themselves.
Kitty held her stomach as she stood over the toilet. She’d lost track of how many days she’d been queasy, but it was always the same. She’d feel like she was going to vomit, yet nothing happened.
But this had been a sign, and it hadn’t been the only one. Kitty never thought she’d be happy to see the curse to arrive. Her bleeding hadn’t started yet, but she sure wished it would. Since she’d started menstruating at age 12, her bleeding had always arrived like clockwork. She’d never been late.
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