by Rhoda Baxter
Ruth's shoulders had stiffened. Her head was still bent over her work, but Jane could tell she was listening. She dropped her voice a little. ‘Are you coming back on an earlier flight?’
‘No, there isn't one. I've got to kill a few hours. I'm going to see if I can get some work done. I've got to go. I just wanted to tell you the news myself.’
‘Thank you. And congratulations!’
‘Thanks. I'll speak to you this evening.’ She could hear the smile in his voice.
She hung up, and was wondering whether to make something up about the phone call to allay any suspicions Ruth might have, when there was a shout from outside.
Val rushed in. ‘He won! He wasn't confident when he left, but he won.’ Seeing Ruth's confused expression, she added, ‘Marsh just texted me. He won the opposition.’
Not wanting to reveal that Marsh had just phoned to tell her in person, Jane said nothing.
‘Yes. Isn't that brilliant! I bet Keith wishes he'd gone after all.’
‘I'm sure he'd have gone if he could,’ said Jane.
Ruth coughed. Val gave Jane a surprised look. ‘Hmm.’
***
Keith took Jane to a pub off Fleet Street and found a quiet nook for them to sit in. Jane made herself comfortable while Keith was fetching the drinks. She glanced at her watch. Marshall would be flying over Europe about now. When Keith returned, he placed her glass of white wine in front of her and slid into the seat opposite. He took a sip of his pint and sighed.
‘Long day?’ said Jane.
‘Something like that.’
‘Have you heard from your mum today?’
‘Yes. She's definitely feeling better.’ He ran a hand over his eyes. ‘It was quite scary, you know. The ride home that day, when I thought I might never see her again.’
Jane nodded. She had nothing to compare it to but the journey home after realising that Ashby had been lying to her. She had felt broken, as though her life had been cracking from that one bullet-hole revelation outwards, just waiting to shatter. But her pain then would be nothing compared to what Keith had been through when he thought his mother was dying. Unable to think of a suitable response, she reached across the table and laid her hand on his.
He looked at their hands and the corners of his mouth moved upwards, just a bit.
He was grateful for her sympathy, she decided. She gave his hand a squeeze and withdrew hers.
‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘It's nice to stop pretending. I try and keep my personal life away from work. It's not professional otherwise, is it?’
Jane thought about her own predicament. Her private life catching up with her work one was the thing that she dreaded the most. ‘I know what you mean.’
Keith contemplated his drink. ‘She's a fighter, my mum. I guess you'd have to be to put up with Dad for so many years.’ He appeared to be looking at something far away. ‘Do you know how they met?’
Jane shook her head.
‘She was campaigning for women's rights of some sort and was lobbying my dad, who was already an MP. He was one of the youngest people in the Cabinet. He said he'd support her cause if she slept with him.’
Jane couldn't help being shocked at the mercenary nature of the proposal. ‘Didn't that contradict her feminist principles?’
Keith shrugged. ‘They've been married for thirty-six years. I guess sometimes it's worth compromising your principles. She's an incredible woman.’
‘Sounds like it.’ She wondered if all men were programmed to think their mothers were wonderful, regardless of whether they deserved it or not.
As they sat together in a thoughtful silence for a moment, Jane's thoughts wandered towards Marsh. Should she tell him about her conversations with Keith? Marsh, who seemed so reasonable when it came to most things seemed to have a blind spot when it came to Keith. He just saw the bold outer image and refused to believe that there might be a vulnerable human being underneath it all.
Keith's voice interrupted her train of thought. ‘Your boyfriend's got a new album out at the moment, hasn't he? That must be hard for you.’
For a fleeting moment Jane thought he was talking about Marsh. Then she realised that the word boyfriend had conjured up Marsh, even though Keith had been talking about Ashby. Yes, she was definitely over Ashby now.
Keith was looking quizzically at her, probably wondering why she was smiling. ‘Ashby?’ she said. ‘He's not by boyfriend. He's my ex.’
‘Sorry, I didn't mean—’
‘Don't worry about it. Yes, he does have a new album coming out. There are posters all over the place.’ Now she knew for certain that some people in the office knew about her famous ex. She wondered if it was everyone, or just a select few who had figured it out.
‘That must be hard for you, being reminded of him all the time.’
Jane shrugged. ‘I don't really care, so long as I get left alone.’
‘Really? Don't you miss the fame?’
‘No I don't. I'm a fairly private person, I don't really like being under scrutiny.’
‘Wasn't it fun though? At least a bit?’
She'd already thought about it a lot. ‘I suppose it was at first. But at some point it stopped being just about the music and people started writing about our lives. It got weird from then on. Ashby became a little bit obsessed with it and we'd have to go to these parties, just to be seen. I never knew when a photographer would try and get a casual shot of me. I had to stop going to the supermarket and start getting the shopping delivered. It was just … intrusive.’
‘And that's why you moved to London? To get away from the gossip mongers?’
‘Yes.’
‘But what if they find you again?’
‘God, I hope not.’
‘Well, a few people at work have figured out who you are.’
‘I just hope none of them think it's a good idea to contact the press.’ The thought of being stalked by photographers again was too horrible. On the other hand, she was just another girl now, not part of the music scene at all. ‘Hopefully everyone's lost interest in me, now that I'm not with Ashby.’
‘I bet you could make a lot of money if you sold your story.’
‘No thanks. It's not worth it. Honestly.’
Keith looked at her in silence for a moment. ‘You're a curious person, Jane Porter,’ he said. ‘Most people are doing their best to become famous and you're trying to avoid it.’
Jane took another sip of her drink and said nothing. What was there to say?
‘I respect that. I hope they leave you alone.’ He stared thoughtfully into the distance. ‘It must have been really embarrassing for you, having your private life displayed in public like that. Bad enough finding out the person you loved was cheating on you, but to find out the details at the same time as the tabloid reading public ...’
‘Embarrassing? Try humiliating.’ She shuddered at the memory, and realised she hadn't thought about the horror of it all for a few days, not since she started seeing Marshall. But she wasn't surprised to find the fear still there, hidden under the layers of everyday thought.
Keith noticed the shudder. ‘I'm sorry, I've upset you. I shouldn't have mentioned it.’
‘It's Ok. I need to learn to deal with it.’
‘Well, it's clearly a raw subject for you.’ He met her eyes and smiled. ‘What say we stop talking about things that upset us and talk about something else?’
‘That sounds like a great idea.’
She was still in the pub when Marshall's text arrived to say that he was at the airport. Her heart sped up immediately. ‘Listen Keith, I've got to go. I promised a friend that I'd pop by on the way home.’
‘Of course.’ He finished off his drink. ‘Let me walk you to the station. Don't want you getting mugged again.’
‘That's very kind. Thanks.’ Why on earth had she found him disagreeable all those nights ago? Perhaps because he had been coming on a bit strong. Now that she'd got to know the real Keith, she felt much mo
re comfortable in his company.
‘Jane, if you ever need someone to talk to – about Ashby, or anything else. You know you can come and see me.’
She smiled. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I appreciate that. I really do.’
* * * *
From: Keith, To: Eric
Shame you wussedout on the bet. Plan B is working like a dream. K.
##
From: Eric, To: Keith
I hear that Marshall won the opposition. On quite a difficult Inventive Step argument.He's quite the hero around here. Your plan B failed rather spectacularly, I'd say. Eric.
##
From: Keith, To: Eric
I briefed him thoroughly on my arguments so that he could reproduce them at the hearing. Of course he won. As for my plan B – on the contrary, I've just had a nice cosy chat with Jane. It was most illuminating and has given me a cracking idea for how to proceed. This whole thing is less fun without a wager riding on it, but I shall carry on because I enjoy a challenge. K.
Chapter Nineteen
In the days that followed, Jane was increasingly under pressure with work. As the deadline for submitting the documents to the client drew nearer Susan, Marsh and Keith all piled work on her. In an attempt not to appear biased, Jane always tried to leave Marsh's work until last, but that usually meant having to stay late to finish it. Although Marsh also worked late most nights, she didn't get much chance to talk to him. Keith, who seemed to keep the same hours as Marsh, kept popping round to see her.
On Tuesday, with the deadline the next day, Jane managed to finish everything she was given a little after six. She fired off several emails, distributing the information to Marsh, Keith and Susan as appropriate and sank back in her chair, rubbing her temples. Her head hurt from reading documents on screen.
In the next office, she could hear the clatter of keys as Marsh typed. Jane hauled herself out of her chair and made her way over.
She knocked lightly on the open door.
Marsh looked up.
‘I'm done,’ she said, as she sagged against the door frame. ‘Is there anything else you need?’
Marsh looked at the mess of papers on his desk. ‘I don't think so. You've done a sterling job. I don't know how to thank you.’
She immediately thought of a few ways, but decided not to say anything. Marsh caught her eye and the dimple appeared in his cheek. ‘I've been neglecting you a bit these past couple of days, haven't I?’ he said quietly, too low for anyone but her to hear.
Jane checked over her shoulder. ‘That's Ok,’ she said just as quietly. She wanted desperately to go into his office. His hair was ruffled where he had run his hands through it. She wanted to smooth it down and let her fingers trace his stubbled cheek. But if she did that, she might not be able to stop herself from kissing him.
‘You look tired,’ she said, in a normal tone.
‘I've not been sleeping very well. Things on my mind.’ He grinned. ‘You know how it is.’
Jane knew she'd blushed. She did, indeed, know how it was.
Somewhere a door slammed. ‘I'm going to go home,’ she said. ‘I'll see you tomorrow.’
Marsh indicated his work. ‘I'm going to be stuck here for a while. I'll call you when I'm done. Might be a bit late. Is that Ok?’
‘And you're still on for dinner tomorrow?’
‘Oh yes. Definitely. I'm really looking forward to it,’ he said meaningfully.
‘Me too.’
* * *
From: James, To: Marshall
Partners' meeting today.I'll be rooting for you. I'll do my best to counterbalance Keith. Try and relax and enjoy the evening. Try not to talk about work. Jim.
##
From: Marshall, To: James
I'm taking the most beautiful girl in the world out for dinner. I have no intention of thinking about work. Or the partners' meeting. Marsh.
* * *
The atmosphere in the office changed subtly with the partners away. People stopped to chat a little more often. There was more laughter.
Listening to people discuss Marsh's chances, Jane refrained from commenting, in case she let slip more than she intended.
‘So,’ said Ruth as she and Jane walked back to their office together, ‘you've worked with Marsh. What do you think his chances are of becoming a partner?’
The mere mention of Marsh in relation to the word ‘partner’ made Jane crave chocolate. She had to avoid discussing it in case she let slip more than she realised. ‘I don't know how it works here. They didn’t have partners where I worked before.’
‘I think he deserves it,’ Ruth said. ‘He bills an awful lot of hours. He's in really early and he leaves really late, from what I've heard.’
‘I know.’ Immediately realising her mistake, Jane said, ‘I mean, I've often been here late at night and he and Keith were here too. So I assumed he always stayed late.’
Ruth gave her a sceptical look. ‘O-Ok.’
‘What time will the partners’ meeting finish, d'you think?’ she said, hoping to deflect Ruth.
‘Sometime after lunch. They always go out for lunch and come back slightly squiffy.’
‘Even Susan?’ said Jane as she followed Ruth into their office. ‘I can't imagine Susan being drunk.’
‘Oh, she's funny when she's had a bit,’ Ruth said. ‘She's normally so severe. She's actually quite nice when she's not in work mode.’
Jane would have to see that before she believed it. She sat down and opened up her email. There was still work to be done.
* * *
From: Polly, To: Jane
So, have you decided what you're wearing tonight? What sort of a restaurant are you going to? Pol.
##
From: Jane, To: Polly
No, I haven't decided what to wear yet. He said we were going to an Italian place. It's quite near where we are, so I won't have to go far. I was thinking of wearing one of my work dresses with a nice cardigan instead of the jacket. All my formal things are still at Mum's. Jane.
##
From: Polly, To: Jane
I'd offer to lend you something of mine, but everything would be too big for you. You're so lucky you're the same size as you were when we were at school. Come to think of it, I might have some of my old clothes from college stashed away somewhere. We can have a root through those if you want. Pol.
##
From: Jane, To: Polly
I wasn't too worried about what to wear anyway. It's not the first time we're seeing each other. It's not like I have to wow him.
##
From: Polly, To: Jane
What are you talking about? You absolutely have to wow him. That's what this dinner is all about! My shift finishes at 4.30. I'll see you when I get home. We'll sort something out. Have you seen him today? Has he said anything to you?
##
From: Jane, To: Polly
Seriously, Pol.I don't get the impression that I need to keep up the glamour. I always feel so comfortable around Marsh. It's weird. With Ashby it was fun, but with Marsh it's different. When I'm with him I just feel like everything is right in the world. It's like he FITS. No, I haven't spoken to him yet today. He's keeping a low profile. The partners are supposed to be discussing his nomination to the partnership. I think he's quite nervous about it. He looked tired this morning. It must be a bit weird being here when everyone is discussing your chances of promotion.
##
From: Polly, To: Jane
So, it's like Ashby was shop bought off the peg and Marsh is made to measure?
##
From: Jane, To: Polly
Yes. That's exactly what it feels like. It looks good, it feels good. Like it was meant to be. I have to get back to work. I'll see you later. Jane.
Chapter Twenty
There was a delay on the underground. By the time Jane got home, it was nearly seven.
Polly was waiting for her. ‘About time. Hurry up. You've only got an hou
r to get ready.’
‘Can I have a cup of tea first?’
‘I'll have it ready for you when you get out of the shower.’
When Jane emerged Polly was waiting, with a pile of clothes. ‘These are all my things from college. Maybe we can find something that fits.’
Jane stared at the mound. ‘I'm going out for dinner, not the Grammys.’
Polly ignored her and held up a dress. ‘How about this?’
It was dove-grey with elbow-length sleeves and an inverted hemline. There was a delicate black design along the hem.
‘I used to wear this with a jacket.’ Polly rummaged around.
Jane held the dress up. ‘It's beautiful.’ She gave it a little shake and it swished gently.
‘I know.’ Polly continued searching. ‘I only wore it twice before I ballooned out of it. I remember Andy's expression when he first saw me in it.’ She stared into space for a moment, lost in the memory.
‘Are you sure you don't mind me borrowing it?’
Polly returned to the here and now. ‘Go try it on. I'll never fit into it again. I'd rather it got worn.’
The dress fitted perfectly, except the neckline was too wide and showed her bra straps. Jane took a few moments to change into a strapless bra. When she returned to the living room, Polly was holding a black beaded jacket.
‘Oh, you look incredible.’ She gestured for Jane to twirl around. ‘That dress never looked so good on me. You've really got the legs for it.’
She handed Jane the jacket and steered her to a mirror.
The dress had a timeless quality about it and set off Jane's slim figure and height beautifully. She lifted her hair and piled it on her head. A few strands escaped and framed her face. Jane smiled. She looked very different from how she used to, in long sweeping gowns – often rented for the evening – and blonde. She rather liked the new Jane.
