The Summer of Me & You

by Rae Hachton

  “Did you kiss him?” he asked me. I deciphered the hidden jealousy that laced his voice.

  How could I answer that? I'd never kissed anyone, but I didn't want Kaleb to know that either. I'd been told that makes a girl my age look undesirable. And with a guy like Seth? Everyone had assumed I'd kissed him. A few people thought we'd done more. Even if I said no he might not believe me.

  “Did you?” he asked again, raising his tone in demand. He made it sound like we were dating and that I belonged to him and him only. It made me want to be his. Oh my God, those eyes, the way they devoured me. The way he asked the question made it appear that if I had kissed Seth, months ago, then that would've meant I was cheating on Kaleb. He made it sound like I was cheating on him when in fact, I hadn't kissed Seth, and Kaleb and I weren't actually together. A gloss of hurt glimmered in his eyes.

  I choked up, divided on what to say. No, Kayleigh. Say no. But for some reason my brain malfunctioned. I wasn't Kaleb's. I wanted to be. I couldn't get over the way he looked at me right then and there. The many things he silently said with just one gaze. His eyes expressed so many things, promised me so many things. A part of me almost said I didn't kiss him. I wouldn't do that to you. But I stopped myself. I didn't want to give all of that away. I didn't want him to know how much he meant to me. I was feeling guilty for something I hadn't even done. He made an imagined kiss feel like I'd done so much more.

  He shrugged, his hands in his pockets. “That figures,” and he sulked away into the night. He'd walked about halfway down the street when I yelled out, “I didn't kiss him!”

  He stopped and spun around.

  “Good, because we're still going on our date.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Gravitation

  *

  For our first official date, Kaleb took me to the film festival. It was a three hour drive to North Port and it gave us lots of time to talk.

  After the seminar ended at four that afternoon, Kaleb and I left the short film festival in North Port. He bought us both a Film Fest t-shirt. We were on our way back home when I spotted the summer carnival.

  “Kaleb! I wanna go.” I pointed out the window at the blinking lights. We could hear the music. It floated on the air. He gave me a peculiar look.

  “You want to go to a carnival, on the beach, eat cotton candy, and ride silly rides all night?”

  “Yes!”

  He laughed. “Yeah, me too. Let's do it.”

  “Yay!”

  He took the exit ramp and headed into North Port Beach. “My uncle has a beach house here,” he said. “Used to come here all the time.”

  “I haven't been to a beach or a carnival in years.”

  He smirked. “I can tell. Your eyes are lit up like a kid.” He drove us to the carnival near the beach.

  “Now if we can find parking...”

  “Nah. No way. Not parking here. It's too wild and besides, we'll be here forever and a day waiting on a spot to clear.”

  “So where are we gonna park?”

  “Brian has a secluded beach house somewhere on this strip. If I can remember where it is, I'll park there. He won't mind. It'll only be a walk away to the carnival from there.”

  “Even better. I'd love to dip my feet in the edge of the water and feel the sand between my toes again. That's what summer's all about.”

  He had one hand on the steering wheel. He slowed his speed to drive us down the beach house boulevard. The windows were rolled down and I could taste the sugar, salt, and sand swirling around in the air. A light wind blew through my hair, tousling it. A song I recognized played in the near distance. As the sun headed down, I thought This is how it's supposed to be.

  “You really want that kind of summer?” He tilted his head.

  I had my feet on the dashboard. “Definitely.”

  “I'll see what I can do about that.” His eyes squinted and sparked.

  On the far end of the beach away from everything else, the ocean waves crashed against shore. The screams from the carnival rides sounded far far away. He pulled into an empty driveway.

  “This is it,” he said. A path led down to the beach. “You ready to go?”

  “Give me a minute?”

  “Sure.”

  I opened the car door and stepped out. I wanted to dart ahead and dive into the waves, feel the splash of icy water wash over me. I was dreaming about it.

  His voice broke me out of my daydream.

  “Carnival closes at nine,” he said.

  “Okay. Let's go.”

  “I'll bring you back here before summer is over.” He reached for my hand.

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.” He hooked his pinky finger with mine.

  “I think I'd love it here,” I said. “If I lived here.”

  “Is summer your favorite season?” he asked.

  “Sure is,” I smiled.

  The walk to the carnival wasn't nearly as far as it appeared to be. As soon as we were at the entrance, he handed the guy a couple of twenties for wrist bands so we could ride all the rides. He took my wrist and wrapped the yellow wrist band around it. I did the same for him. I liked holding his hand in mine. Our fingers sort of found their way together and interwove themselves without our knowledge.

  “What ride do you want to go on first?”

  “The carousel,” I said.

  “The carousel?”

  “Yep.”

  “Okay. But we're going on the zipper next.”

  “Agreed.”

  The carousel spun us around, blinking lights, a dreamy song playing above. Everything was in slow motion, blurring around us. The only constant was his smile. Our laughter was silent. All I could see was his face, just Kaleb. From across the carousel, I pretended I didn't know him and was flirting with a stranger instead. With my hands in my hair, I puckered my lips and blew a kiss. He caught it in his hands as the carousel spun faster. The wind blew through our hair. Moments like this were great. And rare.

  We rode every ride there was. Some of them twice. As the night moved forward, he led me in to the black out house. The mood instantly shifted from playful and flirty to deep and sensual.

  A black light dance. Glow sticks, techno electronic music, arm bands lit up. Psychedelic colors. Everyone around us was moving fast, going crazy, but Kaleb's face was just five inches from mine. Oh God, Kiss me, please please kiss me. But he didn't.

  His fingers trailed up and down my arms, giving me goosebumps. I wanted, more than anything, to make out with him right there in the dark with that amazing song playing above us. My heartbeat raced and thumped as fast as the music. His eyes gazed deeply into mine. They searched my face. His fingers ran down my sides and his hands traveled around my waist. I became dizzy. Absolutely dizzy. It felt like I was swaying, but I wasn't moving at all. Or maybe I was. We were. The lights above blinked on and off in rapid sequences. Kaleb moved with me. He pressed me against him. My arms found his neck and wrapped around it. Maybe this was better than kissing, but oh a kiss would've made the whole night more sweeter. A full make out session would've blown it over the top. But Kaleb had what I call skill. Okay? Like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It was alien to me. The intensity between us was explosive, almost literally. His hands moved up and down my body. He wasn't kissing me. He wasn't even touching me like that either. But I felt good all over. His eyes gazed into mine and I saw the desire in them. My breath hitched and it felt like I was about to quake. I closed my eyes, zoning in and out. Oh God, I must be drugged or suspended temporarily in a different dimension. Because nothing this innocent feels this good. And this felt damn good.

  And then I felt it as he pressed up against me again. Kaleb was aroused. But so was I.

  “You okay?” his warm breath blew into my ear. Not sure if intentionally or accidentally because he just couldn't help it. Couldn't hold it in. His voice was incredibly lo-fi. Rough—masculine, and distorted by what sounded like an almost groan— a very wanted noise.


  “Mhm,” I said but it was more like mmmm. He already had me wanting to climb on top of him and he hadn't really done anything. But he'd done something because I was electric all over. I wanted him on me. All over me.

  When I returned home I had a pink band around my wrist from the film festival all day pass, and a yellow one from the amusement park in North Port. Plus a swag bag full of stickers and stuff I picked up at the film fest.

  Mom was awake and in the kitchen, waiting on me to get home. Exhausted, I collapsed on the couch. We talked back and forth. I had to raise my voice a little so she could hear me.

  “How was your second date with that boy?”

  She didn't know it'd been our first. I was keeping that to myself.

  “We went to a film festival in North Port, then rode some carnival rides. I had a lot of fun.”

  “It's after midnight. You're late.”

  “It was a three hour drive...”

  “I don't see why he can't date you somewhere in town.”

  “Because it's boring, maybe.”

  She poked her head out of the kitchen and into the living room. “That boy's not taking you three hours away again. I don't even like the idea of you riding around with him at all. He gets out of control sometimes. He could hurt you.”

  “He's not going to, mom.” I reclined against the couch, trying to relax my bones.

  “You're so young. You'd be happier if you dated more than one guy. Someone other than Kaleb.”

  “Date them all at the same time?” Wow, mom. That totally makes sense. Instead of just one threat to my virginity or heart, let's give ten various guys opportunities and see who wins. The more the merrier. “Someone like Seth, perhaps?”

  “Just hang out with him. After all, he's the one who took you to your junior prom. You need some perspective. If you only ever date one guy, you'll never know if you truly like him. It could be that you're dating him because he's what's there, he's what's available. You need more options. Then you can choose.”

  She didn't understand. Kaleb and I didn't date each other. It was more than that. We were almost inseparable.

  “No. I'm not dating or “hanging out” with Seth. Ever. I only like Kaleb, mom.”

  She sighed. “Dating used to be so different when I was growing up.”

  “Really? Doesn't seem like it. You must've been pretty close to someone because you had me at a young age.”

  “Drop the sarcasm, Kayleigh. It doesn't look good on you.” She sipped her herbal tea. “I don't particularly like that boy.”

  “Kaleb.” Hadn't she already made that clear several times? I stood up and headed into the kitchen. I was thirsty.

  “Hmp,” she mocked. “Kaleb. Don't even like his name or the sound of it. I don't like his looks or the way he walks or talks. Don't like the way he gazes at you with desire dancing in those devilish eyes of his—he's up to no good, that boy. I don't like his nicotine habits either. He makes you smell. It gives me respiratory problems just breathing it when you breeze by. A kid like him has had no home training. I can guarantee that. Someone needs to have a talk with his mother or social services about what goes on in that home over there.”

  “His mom is really nice. You'd like her.” I reached into the refrigerator for bottled water.

  “Really nice? Nice? Parents don't need to be nice. They need to be parents.”

  “Like you?”

  She spun around, slapped my arm with the spatula that was laying on the counter. “Don't back talk me, Kayleigh. I have to work for a living. Don't have time to follow you around all damn day or I would. But I raised you better.”

  “I'm not like you, mom. I won't make the same mistake.”

  “Well shit, déjà vu. Isn't that what you guys say when it feels like you've been somewhere before? 'Cause if I recall, I remember tellin' my mother the same thing some sixteen years ago. Isn't that somethin'? History tends to repeat itself.”

  “Sorry you had to go through giving me life. Seems regretful.”

  “You were never a mistake, Kayleigh. But if I don't give you the facts about that boy—call it as I see it—then all I'll be doing is helping you make one.”

  “I'm sorry dad walked out on you.” That had to be the reason why she was so bitter about me dating Kaleb. She didn't want me to become attached to anyone the way she had.

  “He didn't walk out on me. He walked out on you.” Her eyes were ablaze with hate. I didn't know why. “You were the only reason I had to even keep that bastard around. But I can almost promise you that you're better off without knowing him. He was a son of a bitch.”

  “Well, Kaleb would never leave me for any reason.”

  “You're getting a little bit too sassy, Kayleigh. And since Kaleb wouldn't walk out, I got a fix for that. I'm gonna throw him out on his ass. You're not allowed to see that boy anymore. Do you hear? He's nothing but trouble and you don't need it.”

  “Mom!”

  “Don't 'mom' me.” She was serious. “He reminds me of someone I knew, Kayleigh. I want you to stay away from him.”

  “And who would that be?”

  She didn't even answer me. She became violent instead.

  “You're going to listen to me! You're not seeing him again. You got it?” She pointed her finger in my face.

  “Well, how are you going to stop me?” I glared at her. “You're never home.”

  That's when I felt it. The fire. I'd pushed her too far. She'd slapped me. I touched my cheek where her hand had landed. I looked away from her.

  “Fine! But when he breaks that little teenage heart of yours, don't come crying to me. You may not be like me, but I was you once. Just remember that.”

  I stormed out of the kitchen, furious and crying. I ran upstairs to my room. I slammed the door so hard I caused the picture frames on the walls to rattle.

  “If you break that door, Kayleigh or anything else in this house you'll spend your summer paying for it.” She yelled up the stairs.

  I opened the door and yelled back to her, “You used to be best friends with Kaleb's mom. The only reason you don't want me seeing Kaleb anymore is because you never forgave her for dating your boyfriend back in high school so now you're trying to ruin my life. I can't believe you mom. It's been seventeen years. Just let it go and let me be happy for once. Sheri is really sweet.”

  And just like that, one of the greatest nights of my life combusted into fire. But she wouldn't stop me from seeing him. In fact, I was going to see him tomorrow.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Wasteland

  *

  “This is absolutely boring,” Kaleb grumbled. “My ideal summer day is not sitting in the house with my mom and the girl I like, watching some dumb TV show. God,” he sighed, “Stephen needs to bring back the car already.”

  Sheri and I hogged the couch. She was lying down on it and I sat at the end. Kaleb sat in the floor, leaned against my legs. I had my fingers in his hair, which was strange because he hadn't even kissed me yet. Oh, what in the world was I doing? I was already tangled up in him. Since there was nowhere else for me to spend my summer days, after I finished puppet theater at the daycare center, I came over to Sheri's house so I could see Kaleb. He and I were supposed to work on a film. That wasn't really happening though. We talked about film, but we had no plans for making one. His film camera sat on the kitchen counter. All he had on the tape was test footage. And he was so convinced he'd be the next Quentin Tarantino. What a laugh.

  “Yeah, Kaleb,” I said. “We should be making our own film, remember?”

  “Let's go to my room,” he said.

  In a quick motion, Sheri tossed a pillow at him. “You are terrible, Kaleb,” she said.

  “What did I do?” He looked over at her, puzzled.

  I laughed, totally understanding where she was coming from. I explained it to him. “I just mentioned making a film and you said we should go to your room.”

  It took a minute for it to register. “Oh,” his brow knitted. �
�My God, you two are so perverted.”

  “Just leave the camera on the kitchen counter, mister,” Sheri said.

  Rebekah bolted through the front door. Seeing that I was there she lashed out.

  “Okay, what in the fuck is she doing here? Little miss princess needs to go home. Her mother doesn't even like Kaleb.” She said all of this while gazing directly at me with a death glare. “If Kaleb and her get any closer I'm gonna have to start being nice to her and shit.”

  “You're never nice to anyone,” Kaleb told her.

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Shut up, brother.” It sounded like a threat, like she knew something about him that no one else knew and she was holding it over his head. And then I remembered their secret. It became evident that Sheri and Stephen didn't know about that.

  Sheri said, “Where's Alison?”

  “She's at Gram's house. Why?”

  “If Ali isn't with you, then you can leave,” Kaleb said. “Go aggravate Stephen's mom. Or better yet, why don't you learn how to be a mother.”

  “Rebekah, please tell me that Needles isn't here,” Sheri said.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “What if he is?”

  I whispered to Kaleb, “Why do you guys call him Needles?”

  “Don't ask,” he said. That explained it all.

  Rebekah spoke to me again. “What did you do to my kid? She's been asking about you. Something about sock puppets and shit.”

  Kaleb answered for me. “Kayleigh volunteers down at the daycare center doing puppet theater.”

  “How fucking sweet,” Rebekah sneered.

  “Well at least someone spends time with Alison because we all know you don't,” Kaleb said.

  “You really shouldn't act the way you do,” I told Rebekah. “Your jealousy is starting to show.”

  “Whatever. I don't care if you play dollhouse with Alison when she's at daycare. It's nice having a break from the brat every once in a while.”

  “I wasn't talking about Alison,” I said, giving her a knowing look. She glowered at me. I stood up and Kaleb followed me.