The Summer of Me & You

by Rae Hachton

  “Kaleb!,” she cried. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

  I smiled, tossing my head back to dump the package of rock candy into my mouth. Pop rocks sizzled on my tongue. I wondered if I kissed her if they'd pop against both our tongues. “Come here, let me kiss you.”

  “No,” she laughed, jumping back as I moved in for her.

  “Yes, I bet it'd be electrical.”

  The rest of the afternoon was like that. We just joked around with each other. I handed her a blue slushy. “I bet I can get my tongue bluer than yours,” I told her.

  “Nuh-uh,” Kayleigh said.

  “Uh huh,” I said.

  We did things like this. Play-fight and have competitions over the silliest and most childish things. I loved it. With her, things were just simple and amazing. She was unlike any other girl I'd been with. Uncomplicated. I could be me.

  Right before the big show, I lit Kayleigh's sparklers with my lighter and watched her twirl around in the summer twilight—the shimmering fire dust swirling and falling down around her under the deep blue sky.

  I knew right then, on that night—I was deeply in love with her.

  The finale of the evening would be the dance. Before that, a firework show. She and I peered up into the atmosphere. As the fireworks lit up the sky, the colors bursting apart like fire flowers, I said to Kayleigh, “I wanna be your boyfriend.”

  Her eyes diverted away from the sky, and landed on me. Time seemed to slow down. The passing seconds were only marked by the popping of the fireworks in the sky above us. I think I died a thousand times just waiting for her answer. My heart rate accelerated.

  “What made you change your mind?”

  The answer was easy.

  “I realized someone else might tell you you're pretty. I'd do anything to keep you away from that person.”

  “And why's that?” she asked, smiling.

  I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Because, he'd be lying and I'd have to kick his ass. You're absolutely beautiful,” I whispered low where only she could hear it.

  She smiled.

  The last band of the night began to play their music. Kayleigh reached for my hand, pulling me to her for the dance.

  I more than had my answer.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  Midsummer

  *

  There's an imperfect boy with an upturned grin and his hands around my waist. And there's a perfect song playing that I don't know the lyrics to, but the feelings are just right. A wild look in his eyes—wicked delight. My skin is live wire under his fingertips as his hands coast up and down my lower back—gently and eagerly. He pulls me closer to his body. Our hips meet and something sizzles through me like a voltaic shock. Something about the way he knows I'm untouched and how he badly wants to be the one who touches me. It's how I want to resist him but can't—not when he's gazing at me like that. He's the boy who smokes Marlboro cigarettes and I'm the girl who makes theater puppets. Dreams and ashes—two things in the universe that should never meet because they are opposites, right? Something happens to one that causes the other.

  Our eyes shouldn't be gazing. Our hips shouldn't be touching. His hands—his gentle hands—should not be on me, anywhere on me, but they are and I want them to be.

  Our lips should not meet.

  But none of the should nots matter, not when above us shine the stars. Everything is alit with wonder. He looks at me as if he needs me.

  He needs me. He wants me.

  I need this—I need him. I want him to want me.

  There's a deep burn within me and Kaleb dips his head just enough so that he can press those soft lips of his against mine. I smolder.

  We ignite.

  I know there will be no going back. I can no longer fight this. I want to be his girlfriend and I want everything that goes with being his, no matter the cost.

  “Yes,” I told him. He knew what I meant. Kaleb knew I wanted to be his, too.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  Expand, Implode

  *

  Where had the days gone? They seemed to have flown by. Kayleigh and I spent every waking moment together, getting the most out of the summer as we could. She's my girlfriend, I thought. My girlfriend. It was real.

  She laid in the grass on a towel, sunbathing. I laid beside her just watching her be. The sun was hot as hell.

  I stood up, pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it aside.

  “What are you doing, Kaleb?” Kayleigh smiled, peering up at me.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “I think you already know the answer to that.” She rolled upright and leaned back on her elbows. She was wearing her pink polka dot bikini top and a pair of green shorts.

  I extended my hand to hers. “Come on,” I said.

  She placed her hand in mine and I pulled her up.

  “Ever jump off a cliff before?”

  “No, but I'm assuming you have.”

  “Actually, I never have. I thought we could try it together.” I dropped her hand, inching backwards, teasingly.

  “What are you talking about, Kaleb?”

  “There's a lake down there.”

  “You're crazy.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I dare you.”

  I saw the tempted glimmer in her eyes.

  “I'll give you a running start,” I said.

  She bit her lip, slipping out of her sandals, as I did the same. We looked at each other, waiting to see who would start running first. She flinched like she was about to run, and so did I.

  “One—” she said.

  “—Two.”

  “Go!” And she took off running. I raced behind her, catching up. She laughed as she ran, causing me to smile. Her hair soared in the breeze. And for a moment, time stood still and all I saw was her smile and how she turned her head back to look at me like that. I reached out and grabbed her hand. She locked it tightly in mine as we both took a deep breath. We launched ourselves off the cliff, free falling. As soon as we hit, the water splashed up around us as we landed, sinking under. For a moment there was nothing but blackness. Then we both emerged to the surface, laughing. I'd never been that happy in my life before. It was like I was a different person. There was no way this could be my life. I was daring and dangerous because I wanted Kayleigh to feel the exhilaration I felt when being around her, and not because I was depressed and wanted a way to disappear or numb the pain. Today there was no pain. I couldn't remember what pain was. Not when I gazed in to Kayleigh's eyes—they sparkled in the same way the sun made the light glitter on the lake. How could she be this happy with me? I didn't know. It was like I was on the outside, looking in on someone else's life. It was that surreal. But there were no complaints because I wanted to stay here.

  “Kaleb,” she said my name, yeah this was really me here, in this moment—“that gave me such a rush.”

  I pulled her closer to me, our bodies nearly touching. The water wafted between us as we hovered there, our bodies wet, the sun blazing down on us. I cupped her face in my hands, running my thumb over her lips. I inched my face closer to hers. “You know what gives me a rush?”

  My heart was still beating fast and so was Kayleigh's. She wrapped her arms around my neck .I shut out the world around me — it was only us. Her eyes peered into mine. I tangled my fingers in her hair.

  “This—” and I kissed her with an ache to keep kissing her. With an ache to do more than just kiss her. There was no method or rhythm, just my lips fighting to stay on hers for as long as they could. I didn't want to let go, and because she kissed me with the same ache, I knew she didn't want me to let go either.

  At some point, I caught my breath, and managed to whisper, “Oh, Kayleigh, I want to do more than just kiss you.”

  And as if that day couldn't have become more surreal—we landed on her bed, with damp hair and shivering bodies. I mean, I know there must've been some transition between kissing her in the lake and falling down with her on
to her bed, but I couldn't remember what it was, or how we ended up walking back to her house without just doing this in the grass or somewhere else. My head was spinning, my memory was foggy. Everything was dream-haze. I remembered sunflares and kissing her in the lake, then climbing atop her with ragged breath and a pounding heart, our feet and legs moving together as we found a way to entwine, her legs wrapping around mine, me weaving my fingers through hers and holding her hand down on the bed with a mad intensity to let her know how much I wanted this to happen.

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded, whispering, “Yes.” She grasped my hair, pulling me back down to kiss her. Being with her like this was so intense that I almost disassociated from the disbelief. “And don't ask again, Kaleb,” she smiled, “—or you might change the probability.”

  “No,” I shook my head. “For me, you and I have always been a one in a million chance. Probability no longer has anything to do with it.”

  “Kaleb—the optimist.”

  “No—Kaleb, the dreamer.” I shifted my body, pressing my lips to her neck. “Kayleigh, I've wanted you for so long. I've never been with anyone I've liked, wanted or...loved. It's always been either a terrible or empty experience for me. This is my first time being with someone I care about.”

  We were really going to do this this time. I couldn't believe it. I still needed to be sure. “Don't do this with me if you think for once that you'll regret it. You'll hate it forever, I promise.”

  “No, I won't regret it. I want it to be you. I can't imagine any other guy.”

  “Okay,” I nodded, kissing her again.

  “What if you don't like it?” she asked.

  I chuckled. “Oh, I will. Trust me. The wait has already been too long. I'll more than like it. You're gonna wish you never knew me after this.”

  “You won't tell anyone about us being together? Some guys talk.”

  “No way. It's between us.”

  “And you won't drop me and sleep with other girls?”

  “This isn't a sex thing. It's an I'm-in-love-with-you-I-wanna-show-you thing.”

  She was just before saying something else, but I stopped her. “Just shut up and kiss me, Kayleigh.”

  Now that this was happening, I wanted to do everything I'd been fantasizing about doing to her. I trailed kisses down her naked body, stopping to kiss her inner thigh and everything there. With my tongue, I traced my name again and again on her and watched her unfurl. Her hips rose upwards. I took my time with her.

  I looped around and around in circles as she soared higher. Her legs shook and I held them in place as she clasped a hand over her mouth and let out a moan. I didn't let her move. I held her legs down and I didn't stop until the waves subsided.

  “Ooh, Kaleb,” she said. “—I need—”

  “Shh, I know what you need.”

  We gravitated together, the fusion of our bodies a rocking harmony. I was drunk on consciousness. I swayed back, lost in the feeling. She dug her fingernails into my back. “Kaleb,” she whimpered. “Don't stop.”

  I'd dreamed of hearing her say that. “I'm not. You'll have to beg me first.”

  Something within me expanded then imploded again and again until there were tremors. When the ebbing waned, I floated back down into reality, and was met by Kayleigh's star filled eyes that swallowed me whole.

  She let out a staggered breath. “So, this is what I've been missing?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  puzzle

  *

  Afterward we lay there, tangled in each other. “I love you, Kayleigh. I think I always have. I knew it the first day I saw you.”

  “When did you first see me?” I asked him.

  “First grade, Mrs. Walker's class. You're the girl who stole everyone's blue crayons and gave them to me after she told me to stop coloring everything in blue. Back then, I thought that was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I had a crush on you ever since.”

  “That was you?”

  “Yeah,” he laughed. How had I forgotten?

  “You were so adorable then,” I told him.

  “And what do you think now?”

  I smirked. “You already know what I think.”

  Kaleb's legs were beautiful, his feet were perfectly shaped, if there was such a thing as a perfectly shaped foot. I slid my hand up his leg, sweeping the hair there upward. He flinched, quickly reaching down to smooth it back in place. I giggled by how agitated that had made him. “What?” I said.

  He smiled, his face reddening. “It annoys me,” he said.

  “Another Kaleb quirk.”

  In the time we'd been together, I'd collected tiny things about him in the back of my mind, things that might've been inconsequential to other people, but these little things about him were special to me. The more I got to know him, the more things about him I was able to collect—things that only I noticed that he didn't notice about himself—things that other girls who'd known Kaleb hadn't noticed. Each tiny thing was a small piece of him, it was like I was putting together a puzzle or a work of art. And that's when I realized it.

  The moment I said it, I knew it was true. I knew how long it'd been true.

  “I love you, Kaleb.” My heart felt what I'd said and responded by fluttering.

  His face went blank as though he'd been startled—or shocked. “What?”

  He'd told me twice already. The first time I didn't want to believe him. I didn't want to face the possibility I could be hurt. The second time I'd wanted to hear it, because I felt the same way and I had to tell him—I had to let it out. It was too painful to hold it in.

  “I love you,” I said again. I'd never told anyone that before. And I was glad, because it was hard for me to imagine saying those words to anyone else. It was like they'd always been on reserve for Kaleb. He wrapped his arms around me.

  “No one's ever told me that before,” he said.

  I laid my head on his chest. I was really glad my mom wasn't home.

  “I have to tell you a secret about that car wreck. The night I crashed my car, before I lost consciousness, I saw you. You were there,” he said.

  “Why would you see me?”

  He didn't hear the question, or if he had, he ignored it. “I knew then that I was going to live. I had to. I had to be with you. It was you I needed, Kayleigh. Somehow I knew that everything would be all right if I had you.”

  I didn't know what to say.

  “I was thinking of you when it happened. After seeing the bloody glass, and the bent and broken metal, I realized I could've died. But I'm so glad I didn't.”

  “You acted so strange towards me after your wreck,” I told him. And he had. He'd been so rude and everything.

  “I thought you'd never talk to me again. I'd just given up.”

  “I tried talking to you. The only reason I went to my junior prom with Seth was because you hadn't asked me. I didn't stay with him that night, though. I left early.”

  He scooted up. “I wanted to ask you,” he said. “I did. But I was too afraid you'd say no.”

  Before our conversation could go any further, my bedroom door flew open. “Kayleigh, could you pl—”

  My mother nearly jumped out of her skin. Her face turned a million shades of red. I didn't know if it was from anger, shock or the inability to breathe. Probably a combination of all three. She clamped a hand over her mouth and retraced her steps, quickly pulling the door closed on her way back out of my room.

  For moments, Kaleb and I couldn't move. We'd been caught. She'd seen his nude chest, our clothes strewn across the floor.

  Then he stretched, laughing. “Oops, I think your mother just caught us.”

  I was horrified. “This is the Worst. Thing. Ever.”

  “Y-yeah,” he drew out the word. “I'm gonna get dressed and dip on outta here before she beats me in the back of the head with a frying pan.” He swung his feet over the edge of the bed, standing up to quickly get dressed. He jumped back into his jean
s. After he slipped his shirt over his head, he lifted one of the slits in the blind and peeked out the window. “Doesn't look like it's that far down.”

  But before he could open the window and jump out, my mother called through the door. “I want both of you downstairs, now. Playtime is over.”

  “Oh my God!” I covered my head, sliding under the sheets. “So awkward. I think I wanna die. Kill me please.”

  Kaleb jerked the sheet away. “Get up,” he said. “We'll face this together. We didn't do anything wrong. We're both grown people. Not kids.”

  “Oh,” I raised my voice an octave. “Says the guy who wanted to jump out the window!”

  “But I didn't, so...” he trailed off.

  “But I didn't, so...” I mocked him. He picked up my shirt and tossed it to me. “Need a bra, too,” I said. My swimming top was wet. That's what he'd reached for. “Not that,” I said. “Look in my drawer.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Why don't you get up and get it yourself?” I saw the smirk in his eyes.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. He knew why. I was completely naked. I didn't want him staring at me as I walked across the room and if I wrapped the sheet around me he'd just pull it off anyway.

  “Top drawer,” I told him again. He opened it, gazing inside.

  “Hmm,” he said. “Let's see what we've got here.” He lifted my bras out one by one, examining them. “Damn,” he said. “Didn't know you had all of this underneath all of that.” He shook his head. “Kayleigh.” He sifted through everything in my drawer as if I could be more embarrassed. “Red lace and black silk. And I thought you were all polka dots and bunny rabbits. You're so full of surprises.”

  “You're still not in the clear. I know how to swing a frying pan.” I sneered at him. He tossed me a bra.

  “Guess you need undies, too.”

  “Hurry up!” I yelled.

  “What're you in a rush for? No need to race to our death. Chill.”

  My mother beat on my bedroom door like a mad woman, causing Kaleb to jump back. “Downstairs now!”

  “On second thought...” he crammed everything back into the drawer and shut it.