by Jolie, Meg
“Probably for most of break,” Carly admitted. She really had no idea but wanted to give some kind of an answer.
He gave a little nod. It was clear to Carly he was simply trying to make conversation. After she’d gotten out of the shower, the conversation had been strained. More than once, she’d caught Jesse eyeing up the ring on her hand.
She was staring at it now. She realized that she should probably take it off because she really had no business wearing it.
Damn Nolan! And damn his piss-poor timing.
She wanted nothing more than to avoid the issue. She could already hear her mother saying ‘I told you that you were too young and immature to be getting engaged.’ The desire to avoid telling her parents altogether was almost overwhelming. Yet, maybe she was growing up, maturing, because she realized that admitting the break-up to her parents would be the adult thing to do.
She just didn’t want to do it now. Not when everyone should be happy and celebrating the twins’ birth.
“Damn him,” Carly muttered.
“What was that?” Jesse asked as he gave her a suspicious look.
She gave a quick shake of her head. “Nothing.”
He didn’t press the issue as he slowed, pulling into the lot. Carly’s car was the only one there, buried under a mountainous heap of snow. She let out a sigh.
“I’ll help you dig out,” he offered.
“You don’t have to,” Carly assured him. She felt as if she’d already inconvenienced him enough.
“I know I don’t have to. But I’m going to,” he said as he parked and then hopped out. He grabbed a scraper out of his backseat.
Carly started her car to let it warm up while she grabbed her own scraper. Together, they had her car cleared off in no time.
“Thanks again, Jess. I’m sorry I took up so much of your time.” She dropped her gaze to the snow covered ground. Her shoulders were bunched up, close to her ears, trying to fight off a bit of the chill. She was glad Jesse had helped her scrape off her car while it warmed. He’d done a much better job than she would’ve done alone.
He smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You weren’t any trouble. But Carly…?”
She lifted her gaze to look at him.
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me what’s going on? I mean, you said last night that something was. And…you know…if you want to talk about it…I’m here. I mean, as a friend.”
She raised her eyebrows and he let out a nervous laugh.
“What?” he demanded. “We can be friends, right?”
For the first time all day, she felt just the smallest hint of a smile form. Carly Johnson and Jesse Nyland…the couple from Lanford that notoriously loved to hate each other. That loved to toy with each other. The couple that managed to, over and over again, break each other’s hearts.
“Friends?” She let the word sink in. She had no idea if they could pull off being friends or not. But they could try, right? “Sure,” she agreed. “Friends.”
6
Carly sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the cobalt blue walls she was so familiar with. After leaving Shady’s snow-filled lot that morning, she’d gone up to the hospital to see her sister and the babies for a few hours. She had thought she’d have a hard time hiding her heartache from her family. Once she had one twin, then the other, in her arms, she really hadn’t been able to think of much else.
Margo had shown up shortly after Carly had, with Carter in tow. As expected, she’d pummeled Carly with questions. She chided her for not bringing Nolan along and for staying out all night. Carly dodged the reprisals with the practiced ease that she had acquired over the years. Margo had become exasperated and had finally let her questions drop, just as Carly had known she would do.
Quinn, on the other hand, had watched the interaction curiously. Though she knew better than to press Carly for any information with their mother present.
It wasn’t long after Margo’s arrival that Carly had offered to bring a rambunctious Carter back to her parents’ house. Not only was she anxious to get away from her mom, but she loved spending time with her nephew. So she had done just that. But now Carter was back with Luke’s parents. She could hear Margo downstairs, puttering around in the kitchen, surely making dinner.
Eating was the last thing she wanted to do right then. Instead, she started forming a plan. It was simple. She got to her feet and went to the closet. She pulled out a small duffel bag that she kept for overnights. Her large suitcase was sitting on the floor, next to her door. For the most part, it was still unpacked. She rummaged through it, pulling out what she would need for a night away. Where she was going, she wasn’t sure. Possibly Jemma’s. Or maybe even to Quinn’s. Quinn would be in the hospital one more night but since the girls were sharing a room, Quinn and Luke had a guest room. Carly was hoping they would let her stay there. She knew that after the inevitable confrontation with her mother, she would not want to come home tonight.
Once her overnight bag was packed, she hoisted the strap up over her shoulder and took a deep breath. She knew the best thing to do was to simply tell her parents that Nolan had left her.
“I just need to do it and get it over with,” she muttered. “Like ripping off a Band-Aid.” If only it were that easy.
Now that her decision was made, she simply wanted to get on with it. She threw open the door and flounced down the staircase, stopping only to drop the duffel bag next to the front door.
“Dinner will be ready in about forty minutes,” Margo said as she glanced up from the salad she was preparing.
“I’m just getting ready to head out,” Carly said. She glanced around the kitchen. Her mom had the table set with three place settings. A pot of water—probably for the potatoes that were peeled, waiting in a bowl—was just beginning to steam on the stove. A covered loaf pan next to the stove likely held bread dough, ready to be popped in the oven. Margo had stopped slicing cucumbers for the salad and she was now looking expectantly at her daughter. “I told Quinn I’d stop back up at the hospital,” Carly explained.
“You can go after dinner,” Margo urged. “I made pot roast.”
Carly raised her eyebrows. She had assumed that’s what the aroma filling the kitchen was. “I don’t like pot roast. I’ve never liked pot roast. You know that,” she reminded her mother. Before Margo could pretend to be offended over this, Carly pushed ahead. “Actually, there’s something I need to talk to you and Dad about. Is he around?”
Margo shook her head. “He’s working late tonight to make up for being at the hospital half the day yesterday. He has a report that he needs to finish by the weekend.”
“Okay,” Carly said with a little nod. She realized she was nervously wringing her hands together and immediately made herself stop. She had hoped her dad would be around because he was often the perfect buffer between herself and her mother. “Do you have a minute?”
Margo glanced at her vegetables and then back at her daughter. She let out a little sigh as she wiped her hands on her apron. “Of course.”
“Nolan and I broke up. There’s not going to be a wedding. He left me,” Carly said. There, she thought as she blurted it all out, just like ripping off that proverbial Band-Aid.
Margo stared at her in stunned surprise. Her mouth fell open and then she closed it again.
“Before you ask me why, or what I did, or how I managed to get myself into this mess, let me just tell you, you were right. I know you’re going to say it anyway so I’m saying it for you. You were right. I was wrong. Getting engaged was a bad idea.” Carly crossed her arms over her chest, bracing herself.
Margo visibly composed herself. “When did this happen?”
“Yesterday, right before I left,” Carly admitted. “No, I did not see it coming. And no, I don’t know what I did wrong,” she said defensively.
Her mom sighed. “You’re right. I did think this was a bad idea from the start. I just didn’t think you two were right for each other.
He just didn’t seem like a good fit for you.”
Carly frowned. Her mom had loved Nolan, had been completely enamored of him. Had she thought they weren’t a good fit because she didn’t think Carly was good enough for him? She didn’t want to know the answer to that so she decided not to ask.
“You know,” Margo said with a scowl, “his parents insisted that we send in the deposit for the reception already. We are going to get a refund for that, aren’t we? It’s a good thing we haven’t sent out save-the-date cards or ordered those expensive invitations that you liked so well. And I’m so glad we decided to wait on that dress you liked. But that down payment was a pretty good chunk of money,” she muttered, seemingly to herself but Carly could hardly miss the rambling comments.
She knew the remarks shouldn’t surprise her, but they did. “Yes, mother, I’m sure you’ll get your refund. I’m doing just peachy by the way. Thanks for asking,” she said as she turned to leave the kitchen.
“Carly,” Margo called after her, “don’t leave. Of course you’re not doing fine!”
“You’re right,” Carly said as her mom appeared behind her. She pulled her jacket out of the closet and slid it on. “I’m not doing fine. But I’ll make sure you get your money back.”
She inwardly cringed, realizing she’d have to talk to Nolan again in order to make that happen. It had been agreed that the wedding would take place at his parents’ resort. They’d offered a discount to the Johnsons but they had insisted that they pay for half of the reception, including rental of the banquet room, which Carly had thought absurd. Even more absurd had been the request that the deposit be sent in already in order to reserve the room. Nolan had explained to her that it was a business, after all. Carly understood that but he was their son. Shouldn’t there have been some leeway?
“Why do you have your overnight bag?” Margo asked as she spotted it sitting next to Carly’s purse.
Carly forced a smile as she wiggled her feet into her boots. “Because I’m not coming home tonight.”
“And might I ask where you are going?” Margo demanded.
“I’ll probably stay over at Jemma’s again,” she said, regurgitating the excuse she’d used for the night prior.
To Carly’s surprise, Margo leaned over and grabbed her elbow. “Please don’t leave. We should probably discuss this.”
Carly shrugged and then she reached down for her bag. The maneuver caused her to surreptitiously pull free from her mother’s grip. “What’s to discuss?”
Margo hesitated, unsure of how to answer.
Carly fought the urge to roll her eyes. Any other mother would probably say her feelings, for one thing, should be discussed. Someone else’s mother would probably ask if they were okay, offer to make some hot cocoa, or even grumble about what an idiot Nolan must be for letting Carly go. Margo, however, didn’t seem to know what to say.
“That’s what I thought. Have a nice evening. I hope you and Dad enjoy your pot roast,” Carly said when Margo didn’t say anything. She swung the door open, letting herself out. She was only vaguely aware of the chill in the air as she made her way to her car. Overall, the confession had gone far more smoothly than she’d anticipated. She didn’t allow herself to feel any relief. Knowing her mom like she did, she was sure this wasn’t over yet. Once Margo had some time to stew over it, she’d likely have a whole lot more to say.
“And that is why I don’t plan on coming home tonight,” Carly muttered as she started her car.
~*~*~
“You’re here all alone?” Carly asked as she crept into Quinn’s room. She closed the door behind her, allowing at least a little bit of privacy for the conversation she knew they were about to have.
The room was gloomy with the curtains drawn. A crack between them showed the steely gray sky and the light snow falling down. The only light was the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Carly was glad the overhead fluorescents weren’t on. This was a hospital. She couldn’t imagine how such harsh lighting could make anyone feel better. Or maybe the harsh lighting was so uninviting that it caused people to want to get out as soon as possible.
She decided that must be it.
Quinn nodded as she shifted around in her bed. She set aside the book she was reading. Carly caught a glimpse of the cover; just enough to see that it was a parenting book. She doubted her sister needed to be reading it. From everything she’d ever seen, Quinn was a great mom. Then again, raising twins and having a toddler was probably a daunting task for anyone.
“I sent Luke home. I thought it would be good for Carter to be home tonight. I think the babies are confusing enough. And even though he loves his grandparents, I don’t think he really understands why he’s been bouncing all over the place the last few days. Besides,” she said with a smile, “I thought it would be good for him and Luke to have one last, quiet night together. After this, the house is going to be anything but quiet.”
The realization that she would not bother to ask to stay in Quinn’s spare room tonight vaguely flitted through her mind. The thought wasn’t all that important so she didn’t dwell on it.
“Where are the girls?” Carly asked as she settled back into the ugly vinyl chair. It was the same one she’d used every time she’d visited.
“In the nursery. I’ve had them in here most of the time but I really needed to get some sleep. So when Luke left to go get Carter, I had a nurse bring them down. I was just getting ready to have them brought back in,” Quinn said. She was eying up her sister, clearly aware that something wasn’t right. “But…I think I’m going to wait a little bit longer. You look like you need to talk. And don’t pretend that everything is okay. You can’t blow me off as easily as you do Mom.”
Carly nodded and tried to roll her eyes but they filled with tears instead. She kept her explanation brief, just like she’d done with her mom. Usually, she would tell Quinn everything. But with this, some parts were just too humiliating to get into. Besides, she knew her sister would worry about her regardless. She wanted to keep that worry to a minimum. Quinn had more important things to be concerned with right now.
For the most part, she kept her eyes averted, not wanting to see the look of pity that she knew would be on her sister’s face. She stopped once to pluck the box of tissues off the nightstand. She was sure they were for patients only but she really didn’t care.
“What is it about me that’s so damn unlovable?” Carly asked between sniffles. She was grateful that Quinn had just let her speak, without interruption. If she’d had to stop to answer questions, she knew she probably would’ve broken down completely.
“Oh, sweetie,” Quinn said, “it’s not you. I promise, it’s not you. Any guy would be so lucky to have you. It’s not your fault if they are too stupid to see it.”
“I’m the one that’s stupid. How could I not see this coming?!” Carly said. Then she squeezed her eyes closed as she pulled herself together again. “No. You know what? I’m not going to do this. He made it pretty clear that he’s over me. So why let myself get all worked up over him?”
Not only that, but she hadn’t wanted to dump on Quinn. She had needed to let her know what was going on. But she was not going to burden her sister with her problems at a time when she should be concentrating on her new family.
“You have every right to be upset,” Quinn told her. “Cry if you need to cry. Or get mad. Do whatever you need to do. This is kind of a big deal.”
She hated the sympathetic way Quinn was looking at her. Yet she realized that she was annoyed with her mom for not looking at her that way. Obviously, she was just in the mood to be unhappy about everything.
Carly threw her hands up in the air. “It doesn’t matter. I know you never really liked him anyway. I should’ve trusted your judgment.”
Quinn’s eyes had gone wide. “What? I never said that!”
A knowing smile worked its way onto Carly’s lips. “You didn’t have to. I could tell. I know you tried to hide it. Thanks for that, by the way.
But I could still tell.”
“Well,” Quinn carefully said, “if you got that impression, it was only because I didn’t really care for how he treated you. He just never seemed…oh, I don’t know…very respectful.”
Carly wasn’t sure what to say to that. Instead, she opted for changing the subject. “You should give the nurse’s station a call. I’d love to see my nieces.”
“In a minute,” Quinn said. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Mom and Dad, do they know?”
Carly nodded. “Mom knows. I’m sure by now, Dad does too. To be honest, she took it better than I expected.” Carly didn’t bother to tell her sister that Margo’s first concern seemed to be about the money spent and the overall inconvenience. She knew that would only make her sister livid.
“I wish I could’ve been there with you,” Quinn said. “I’m sure you could’ve used the support.”
Carly finally laughed. “Well, I’ll forgive you just this once. I mean, you are in the hospital, you know.”
Quinn smiled but Carly could tell she didn’t mean it. “What are you going to do now?”
Carly knew that Quinn was asking about the long-term. Since she didn’t have an answer to that, she didn’t try to give one.
“Now? Now I’m going to hang out with my big sister and nieces until the nursing staff kicks me out of here.” She glanced at her watch, checking to see how much longer visiting hours would last. “I’m guessing that will be in less than two hours and then, I think I’m going to give Jemma a call.”
7
“I don’t know if I can handle you being in town much longer,” Jemma admitted. “I’m not as young as I used to be. I don’t remember the last time I went out drinking two nights in a row.”
Carly tilted her beer toward Jemma in a half-salute. “Neither can I. But, you know, desperate times and all. Besides, I’m working through the four stages of being dumped. It’s easier to do with a beer in hand.”
