by Jolie, Meg
She tried to push it out of her mind as she drove home. She still had plenty of homework left to tackle. With some effort, she tried to concentrate on that. By the time she walked through her front door, her mind was back on track. She’d started reviewing some of the day’s lecture note in her head.
With a sigh, she finally tossed herself back down on the sofa. More than anything, she wanted to call Jesse. She wanted to simply hear his voice. However, she’d been gone for an hour. She had a lot of catching up to do on her assignment. Furthermore, she knew if she called him, her head would not be on her homework.
So she pushed that thought away too and pulled her textbook into her lap.
Nearly two hours later, she was finished reading two chapters for one class and writing a paper for another. She stacked everything on the rickety excuse she’d been using for a coffee table. Exhausted, she got ready for bed. She was sure she fell asleep minutes after her head hit the pillow.
Sometime after that, her sleep was permeated by a dream.
“Jesse…” she mumbled on a sigh. Her eyes fluttered open in the darkness and she realized that she wasn’t dreaming at all. In her groggy state, she tried to pull a coherent thought together as a hand slid up her bare thigh. It came to rest under the hem of her pajama shorts. For a split instant, she was sure that Jesse had decided to surprise her with a visit.
The weight of someone’s body rolled on top of her. Then a hot, wet mouth came down on hers. The taste that lingered was that of beer and sour whiskey. She let out a shriek as she instantly became awake.
“Nolan?! What the hell are you doing?” She tried to shove at him in the darkness but she was buried beneath him, his mouth on hers once again. Her heart was hammering as she tossed her head to the side. She was able to pull her hands free of the cage created by his arms. She pummeled him in the back but his hands slid down, circling her wrists and then sliding back up again, holding them over her head.
“Carly,” he slurred. “Just tell me you miss me. Tell me how to fix this.”
His horrible, hot breath was moist against her ear. The weight of his body was crushing her.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” she cried. “Get off of me!”
Ignoring her, he sought out her mouth again.
“Stop it! Just…stop!”
Breathing heavily, he lifted his weight a bit.
“What the hell are you doing?” she gasped. “You can’t just break in!”
“I have my key…” he mumbled.
She squinted into the darkness, barely able to see the outline of him. His key? She had never thought about that. With so much else going on, it had never crossed her mind. He’d chosen to leave. It never occurred to her that he would’ve kept the key. Shouldn’t he have turned it into their landlord?
He seemed to take her sudden silence as an invitation. He pressed his body against hers. She was infinitely grateful that he seemed to still be fully clothed because her thin pajamas didn’t provide a very reassuring barrier.
In the darkness, his mouth sought hers again. He settled on her neck when she tossed her head aside, shouting at him, “Get off of me!” She sucked in a breath. “You’re drunk! You don’t know what you’re doing! Just stop!”
“Just let me show you how much I miss you,” he mumbled. His hands slid from her wrists as they headed south.
She took advantage of her freedom by wedging her hands between herself and his shoulders. With a momentous shove, she managed to roll him off of her. She rolled with him and without hesitating, she pulled her knee up hard and fast.
She was only vaguely aware of his guttural grunt of pain. She propelled herself over the top of him and lunged for the light switch.
Her heart was hammering and her body was on fire with anxiety when the room flooded with light. Nolan, fully clothed, was curled into a ball in the middle of her bed. She scurried out of the room, hurrying to the kitchen. On the way, she realized he’d left the entry door half-open. Frigid air was rolling in as his cluster of keys still hung from the doorknob. She pulled the ring out and tossed them into the living room. Then she hurried back toward the kitchen.
In seconds, she found what she was looking for.
Rolling pin in hand, she stormed back into her bedroom.
“Get out of my house. Get out, right now,” she commanded and he rolled over onto his side. “Get out or so help me, I’ll crack you right over the head with this.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, or more likely the object she held firmly in her hand.
“You wouldn’t,” he said.
“Wouldn’t I?” she said. “Just try me.”
With a groan, he stumbled to his feet. Carly backed away, staying out of his range should he happen to lunge at her. He fumbled his way to the door, slightly hunched over, clearly still in agony.
“My keys,” he grunted.
“Not a chance in hell,” she fumed. “You’re not having access to this house. And you sure as hell aren’t driving anywhere in your condition.” Her bravery was bolstered by the sight of him, still moving at an excruciatingly slow rate. His pallor was sickly, probably a combination of the alcohol and the ache between his legs. She was glad. She took a menacing step toward him and pointed to the door with her free hand. “Out! Or I’m calling the cops!”
She realized she should probably do that anyway, but she just couldn’t imagine dealing with the drama. As he listened to her orders and stumbled out into the darkness, the reality of the moment crashed into her, knocking her into the wall. She leaned against it, gasping for breath as tears gushed from seemingly nowhere. The shock had worn off and terror had taken its place.
Forcing herself to move, she stumbled to the door and threw it closed. She flipped the lock and then glanced out the side window. She could vaguely make out his form, stumbling down the sidewalk, headed back toward the downtown area.
Satisfied that he was gone, she stumbled back to her room.
~*~*~
“Did he force himself on you?” Jesse grated out. His heart slammed against the wall of his chest. When his phone rang in the middle of the night, he’d correctly assumed it was Carly. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d called him all hot and bothered. He’d answered with a sleepy grin on his face. The grin quickly faded as he’d flown out of bed, slammed into reality at the sound of her tears. Now he wasn’t just trying to calm her down, but himself as well. They’d been on the phone several minutes before her hysteria had died down enough for her to tell him what had happened.
“Not…not like that, no. Not like what you’re thinking. He was just so drunk. I kept telling him no. I kept telling him to stop. I don’t think he knew what I was saying. Or what he was doing. I think he was just that out of it. I don’t think he meant—”
“Carly,” he interrupted. The world spun under his feet. He sank onto his mattress as he scrubbed a hand across his face. “Tell me what I can do? Because right now, I want to kill the bastard. In fact,” he said as he stood up again, “I can be there in a few hours.”
“I can’t stay here. I can’t just sit here, waiting for you to get here,” she said, her voice finally steady again. “In fact, I’m packing a bag as we speak.”
“You’re coming to me?” He breathed out a sigh of relief.
“He doesn’t have his key but I’m afraid he’ll come back. I mean, I don’t think he will but he might,” she said.
“Cricket,” he said softly, fully aware of how shaken she was, “don’t you think you should call the cops?”
“He didn’t really break in, he had a key. He didn’t hurt me. He just scared the crap out of me.” She was silent but for her strained breathing, an after-effect of her crying-jag. “You’re right. I should. I should call them. But if I do, I’ll have to go in and give a statement or something. I think. I don’t really know how that works. What if they won’t let me leave town or something? I can’t deal with that right now. I just need to see you.”
“If you’re sure.
” He thought she was making a mistake. Yet, he understood what she was saying, too.
“I’m sure.”
“Are you okay to drive?”
He heard muffled noises in the background and assumed she was slipping into her coat. The sound of a door opening and closing confirmed that she was leaving her house.
“I’m sure. In fact, I’m walking outside right now. I’m getting into my car,” she said, giving him some much needed commentary. He needed to know she was safely inside, that Nolan hadn’t been lurking in the yard. He heard the car door slam and the engine start.
“Jesse?”
“Yeah?” he asked around a heaving breath.
“I love you, Jess. More than anything.”
He had begun pacing again but her words stopped him. He’d been waiting so long to hear them. He couldn’t help but wonder if she really meant it. Or if it was just a reaction to the stressful situation she was in.
“I love you, too, Cricket. Always have, always will,” he quietly assured her.
“I mean it, Jess. I don’t know why it took me so long to say it. I’ve loved you since…well, since forever, too. That’s why when things were bad between us, it was so hard. But I do. I love you,” she insisted.
He let out a content sigh as he clenched the phone in his hand.
“Get some sleep, Jesse. I’ll let myself in when I get there.”
He wanted to smile at that, the thought of Carly simply crawling into bed beside him. But he couldn’t. The circumstances wouldn’t allow it.
“Call me if you get sleepy and need to talk,” Jesse said.
She managed a weak laugh. “I am so wide awake right now that it’s not even funny. But you work tomorrow so get some rest. Because once I get there, I plan on keeping you up for a while.”
That, finally, brought a small smile to his face.
18
When Jesse’s alarm went off at the normal time, it awoke him with a jolt. He bolted upright, slapping his hand across the top of the digital clock to quiet it. It was 7:00.
And his bed was empty.
His heart tried to catapult out of his chest as he reached for his phone. There were no missed calls but Carly should’ve been to his house hours ago. He quickly placed a call to her cell phone. It rang before going to voicemail.
He tossed the covers off and hurried down the hallway. He glanced into the guest room, thinking maybe she hadn’t wanted to wake him up, after all. The narrow twin-sized bed was empty. So was the couch. A quick glance out the kitchen window confirmed that her car was not in his driveway.
“Shit,” he muttered.
A sick, strangling feeling welled up within him. She had been on her way when he’d last spoken to her. She wouldn’t have gone back home, changed her mind, without letting him know. Would she have? He doubted it but at the same time, he hoped that’s what had happened. Because if not that…Well, he didn’t know what.
His brain felt scrambled as thoughts were flung around, trying to decide what he should do. There was a time when Carly wouldn’t hesitate to pull a stunt like this. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell him she was coming, only to leave him hanging. She was past that. Wasn’t she? He had thought so. But then, where the hell could she be?
Not knowing what else to do, he headed for the shower, leaving the water at a chilly degree with the hope it would help him think more clearly. He hurriedly did what needed to be done. When he was finished, he wrapped a towel around his waist and gave Carly another call. When she didn’t answer this time, he decided he would drive past her parents’ house. Maybe she’d decided to stay there. Not likely but he couldn’t think of anything else more logical.
Unless something happened to her, his mind whispered. He silenced the thought.
“Maybe she got too tired and pulled over somewhere to sleep,” he muttered. It was a possibility but with the weather being as it was, so cold, he doubted that was likely. He thrust his arms into a t-shirt, already knowing he wouldn’t be going into work. Not unless Carly miraculously showed up in the next few minutes. And even then, he was so worked up he wasn’t sure he could go in.
Should he call her parents? Quinn? Did it make sense to worry them with this already? Should he do that when he really had no idea what was going on? But maybe they’d heard from her. He shook his head. It was doubtful. If anything, she would’ve called him. Just as she’d done last night.
I love you, Jess. More than anything. Her admission, after all this time, should’ve brought a smile to his face this morning. Instead, his heart twisted painfully.
An errant thought came to him from nowhere. Maybe she regretted saying those words. Maybe she’d just said them because she was feeling emotional. Carly was so wildly unpredictable at times…He shook his head. That wasn’t really true, not anymore. When she was younger, yes. But now, well, she’d changed.
Or at least, he thought she had.
Still, the worry nagged at him. It was possible that she’d regretted what she’d said. Maybe she felt embarrassed or panicked. It was possible that she wanted to take the words back but instead of facing him to do that, maybe she was avoiding him. Running scared, just like she used to.
They had worked through those issues. He was sure of it. Or maybe he was wrong. Because where in the hell was she?
Could she have decided not to come to Lanford at all? He was sure she wouldn’t have gone back to her house. Not after what had happened with Nolan. Maybe she’d decided to go to her friend, Melissa’s. That would almost make sense. She lived close by and she would surely take Carly in for the night.
Another thought slammed into him. Had she run into Nolan again? Had he somehow followed her? Had she maybe needed to stop for gas? Nolan had been drinking and it sounded like he was completely unstable…Had…He shook the thought away. He wasn’t going to let his mind go there.
“Damnit!” Why hadn’t he kept her on the phone!? So what if he needed to work in the morning. It wasn’t like he’d never gone into work without sleep before.
He took a deep breath. None of these thoughts were going to get him anywhere. He needed to take some action. He needed to find her.
He was just pulling on his sock, trying to form a plan of action—he’d drive past the Johnson’s and if Carly wasn’t there, he’d head toward Roseville—when the doorbell rang.
“Finally!” He shot out the words to his empty room. The pressure of dread eased just a little.
He lumbered to the door, expecting that Carly had forgotten her key in her rush to leave. When he flung the door open, the last person he expected to see at this time in the morning was Luke. The feeling of dread intensified to a crushing degree.
Jesse had no doubt that something wasn’t right. In fact, something was well beyond wrong.
“You have no idea how much I hate doing this,” Luke admitted in a pained voice as he stepped inside.
The expression he wore matched his somber tone.
“What is it?” Jesse said as he tried to steel himself. “Whatever it is, just tell me.”
“There’s been an accident.”
“How bad?” Jesse demanded. When Luke grimaced, Jesse’s world blurred in front of his eyes. “Come on, Luke. How bad?”
“It sounds bad. You better come with us.”
Jesse was already cramming his feet into his boots. Luke continued to talk while Jesse rushed around grabbing his essentials: Phone, wallet, jacket.
“Pete and Margo got a call, less than an hour ago. Quinn and I had to wait for my parents so they could watch the kids. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone.” Luke, seeing that Jesse was as ready as he was going to get, opened the door and stepped outside. “All I know is that there was an accident. She was sideswiped by a truck. She wasn’t conscious when they found her. Pete told Quinn that she was being taken into surgery.”
“Who called them?”
“Don’t know,” Luke said. “Quinn was still on the phone when she handed my cell phone to me and told me to see if
I could get my parents to come over immediately. It was kind of chaos after that, you know, trying to get the kids and ourselves ready.”
“Where did it happen?”
“Right outside of Carlton,” Luke said as they quickly rushed down the sidewalk. “Obviously she was headed back here but we can’t understand why she’d be headed back that time of night. She obviously has classes this morning.”
When they reached Luke’s running truck, Jesse threw the passenger door open. Quinn had scooted to the middle of the bench seat. She looked up at him with watery eyes.
Wordlessly, he got in and Luke backed out of the driveway.
“Mom’s the one they talked to,” Quinn said, breaking the silence. “And you know how she is. She makes everything so much more dramatic than it has to be. Right?”
She turned to Jesse for reassurance. He caught Luke’s eye. He didn’t miss the look of dread that was etched across his friend’s face. But he forced a smile for Quinn anyway. He nodded. “Right. Carly’s going to be fine.” Quinn gave him a weak smile as she swiped at a tear. “Just fine,” Jesse muttered. Because she has to be.
Several more moments of silence filled the truck.
It was Luke who finally spoke.
“So, uh,” he began as she shot a look at Jesse, “do you happen to know what the hell she was doing?”
Jesse gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I do. She was coming to see me.”
He realized Quinn was staring at him with a look of shocked disbelief. “Seriously? You two couldn’t wait for the weekend?!”
He stared at her for a second as her implication sunk in. It took a raised eyebrow look from Luke for Jesse to understand, despite his discombobulated thoughts, what Quinn was saying. “What?! No. No, it wasn’t like that.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Then I think you should explain to me what it was like. Why was my sister out, on an icy road, trying to drive four hours in the middle of the night?”
He quickly filled them in. He felt as though he were invading Carly’s privacy by telling Quinn and Luke what had happened to her. At the same time, Carly and Quinn were so close, he was sure Carly would tell Quinn anyway. If she were able. Besides, it wasn’t as if he could keep it to himself. Not under the circumstances. Not when her family desperately needed answers.
