by Prairie Heat
She rode as if pursued by Satan himself, spurred on by the horror of what she’d done, the unrelenting guilt that gnawed at her.
She had killed a man.
*
Jess paused, saddle in hand, listening. And then he heard it again, the sound of hoofbeats moving through the timber.
Dropping the saddle, he drew his gun and moved to stand behind a tree several yards from his horse. The sound of racing hoofbeats drew nearer, and then a mounted rider materialized through a break in the trees.
Jess frowned in disbelief as he called her name. “Mattie!”
Matilda reined her horse to a sharp halt at the sound of his voice.
For a moment, they stared at each other. Then Jess crossed the distance between them and lifted Mattie from her horse. She collapsed in his arms, a flood of tears cascading down her cheeks.
“Jess, oh Jess,” she sobbed, and buried her face in the hollow of his shoulder.
“Mattie, shh, everything’s all right.”
“No!” she cried. “No, it isn’t. Oh Jess.”
He held her close, slowly rocking her back and forth while she cried, a thousand fears nibbling at his mind, his hatred for Kane growing steadily stronger.
Gradually, her tears subsided. Removing his kerchief, Jess wiped the tears from her face, his touch tender, his dark eyes filled with concern.
Taking her hand, he walked toward his saddle and sat down, drawing her into his arms. “What is it, Mattie? What’s happened?”
“I killed him,” she said flatly. “I killed Kane.”
Jess stared at her in disbelief. “When? Where?”
“Back there.” She gestured in the direction from which she’d come. “He tried to—to—you know, and I hit him over the head with a branch. Oh God, Jess, I didn’t mean to kill him, but I was so afraid.”
“It’s all right, Mattie,” Jess said reassuringly. “You had every right to defend yourself.”
He held her close, his hand stroking her hair. Kane was dead. He felt a keen sense of disappointment, not because the man was dead but because he had so wanted to avenge Kathleen with his own two hands.
He felt Mattie sag against him and when he looked at her, he saw she’d fallen asleep.
Jess smiled wryly. Sleep was always a good escape, he mused; it healed and soothed.
He held her while she slept, wondering how she felt about her failed marriage plans. He couldn’t say he was sorry. He was happy as hell that Josiah Thornton no longer stood between them. And now Kane was out of the way too.
Mattie stirred in his arms and he kissed the top of her head, lightly, affectionately. “Mattie.”
She smiled up at him, pleased to be in his arms, to be held and comforted. His hand moved to the back of her neck and he drew her close, his lips featherlight as they whispered over her own.
“Did he hurt you?” Jess asked.
“No.”
Mattie shivered at the memory of Kane’s hands moving over her. He had meant to violate her and she had killed him. If only she could forget.
She looked at Jess, saw the affection in his eyes, the relief that Kane hadn’t hurt her. Jess cared for her, she knew that, but what were they going to do now?
His gaze met hers and Mattie saw the sudden heat flare in his eyes, felt the slight tremor of his hands as he stroked her back. And suddenly she wanted him, needed him, as never before, needed his tenderness to erase the horror of Kane’s touch, needed to feel life in the face of death.
“Mattie?”
She wanted him. Maybe she had always wanted him. Her body remembered the joy of surrender, but she could not give in again, not now. She was sorely afraid that all he felt for her was lust, and she wanted more, much more.
She would have told him so, but he was kissing her, his lips warm and gentle, lightly coaxing. And she was kissing him back, her breathing becoming rapid as his mouth slid downward, his lips nibbling at her throat, his tongue tickling the sensitive tender skin along her neck, behind her ear.
And then he was kissing her breast, his breath like fire as it penetrated her clothing, searing her skin. His hands roamed leisurely over her back and along her rib cage, and every place he touched sprang to life, like a wilted flower reviving after a long drought.
He kissed her again, his tongue moistening her lips, sending little shivers of delight dancing up and down her spine.
“Mattie,” he murmured. “It’s been so long.”
“Jess…” She had to stop him now, before it was too late, before she lost all rational thought. She could forgive herself for one indiscretion but not for two.
And then he whispered that he loved her, and all thought of resistance took flight.
“Do you, Jess?” she asked tremulously. “Truly?”
“Truly,” he said, smiling down at her. “Didn’t you know?”
Mattie shook her head, unable to speak for the soaring happiness that filled her heart and soul. He loved her! Tall, roguishly handsome Jess McCord loved skinny, plain-as-dirt Matilda Conway.
“Is there any chance you feel the same?” His eyes were as gray as a storm-tossed night as he waited for her answer.
“Oh yes,” Mattie replied fervently. “Didn’t you know?”
His grin thrilled her to the tips of her toes, and then he was kissing her again, his touch healing all the old hurts, and she was kissing him back, all the love she had ever hoped for held tight within her arms.
Chapter Thirty
Mattie stared at the place where Kane’s body had lain. Nothing remained but a smear of blood. Confused, she looked at Jess. “Where is he?”
“Gone,” Jess replied curtly. He walked around the firepit, easily reading the trail sign left in the soft ground. Kane hadn’t been killed after all. He had rolled up his blankets, saddled his horse and ridden out of the canyon sometime that morning.
“But I hit him,” Mattie said. “He was bleeding.”
Jess shrugged. “I guess you didn’t hit him as hard as you thought.”
Mattie stared at the dried blood, her expression thoughtful and then relieved. She hadn’t killed him after all.
“Let’s go,” Jess said.
“Where to?” Mattie asked as Jess boosted her into the saddle.
“Back to Dodge. It’s the nearest town.”
“And then?”
“I’m going after him.” He was almost glad that Kane was still alive. He would have his revenge now, and he would make damn sure that Kane was dead, that he would never again have the opportunity to get his filthy hands on Mattie, or any other woman.
Despair sat heavily on Mattie’s shoulders as she watched Jess swing into the saddle. She had known, deep inside, that Jess would go after Kane again, but she was disappointed just the same. Disappointed and hurt.
“What am I supposed to do while you’re off chasing Kane?” she asked, her voice filled with resentment.
“Wait for me. I’ll get you a room at the boardinghouse.”
Mattie shook her head. “No, Jess. I’m not going to sit around in some stuffy boardinghouse day after day, wondering if you’ve found Kane, wondering if you’re dead or alive. And what if you do get killed? What will I do then?”
Jess reined his horse to a halt. “Dammit, Mattie—”
“Don’t swear.”
Jess let out an exasperated sigh. “What do you want me to do?”
“Forget about Elias Kane.”
“I can’t.”
“You said you loved me.”
“I do,” he said gruffly. “Dammit, Mattie, you know I do.” He swung out of the saddle and began to pace. Did she know what she was asking? He couldn’t quit now. Dammit, he couldn’t!
Mattie dismounted. Standing beside her horse, she watched Jess, her expression troubled. “I’ve got to come first in your life, Jess. I know you loved Kathleen, but she’s gone, and nothing you can do will bring her back. Let the law take care of Kane. Please, Jess.”
Maybe she was right. Maybe it was ti
me to let go. Jess let out a long sigh as he turned to face her. “All right, Mattie, you win.”
“Oh Jess, you won’t be sorry,” Mattie promised as she hurled herself into his arms. “I’ll make you a good wife, the best wife any man ever…” Her voice trailed off and she looked away, embarrassed by her outburst. He had never mentioned marriage.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I…”
“Are you proposing to me, Mattie?” he asked with a roguish grin.
“No, I…no.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to do it. Will you marry me, Mattie?”
“Yes,” she answered softly, fervently. “Oh yes.” She smiled up at him, her face radiant. “Can we have a church wedding, with all the trimmings?”
“Whatever you want.”
“What do you want?”
“Just you.”
His words, as soft and sweet as a caress, brought tears of joy to Mattie’s eyes, and then he was kissing her gently, possessively.
“We’ll be married as soon as possible, if that’s all right with you,” he said, his breath tickling her ear. “I want you to be mine, all mine.”
“Mattie McCord,” she murmured, trying the name. “It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“Very nice,” Jess agreed. “Come on, let’s go. The sooner we get back to Dodge, the sooner we can be married.”
He was about to lift her into the saddle when Mattie placed a restraining hand on his arm.
“What’s wrong?” Jess asked, frowning.
“Jess, we can’t get married.”
“Why the hell not?” he demanded, and then he swore softly. “Thornton.”
Mattie nodded. “I’m still legally married to Josiah.”
“Maybe not. He filed for an annulment.”
“He did? How do you know?”
“I saw him back in Santa Fe.”
“And did you see his wife as well?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Is she pretty?”
Jess grinned as he caught the underlying note of jealousy in Mattie’s voice. “Not as pretty as you.”
She didn’t believe him, but it soothed her vanity. “How long does it take to get an annulment?” she asked, reaching for his hand.
“Beats the hell out of me,” Jess answered, amused by the look of censure in her eyes. “I know, don’t swear,” he said, grinning broadly as he lifted her into the saddle. “Maybe you can cure me of the habit after we’re married.”
*
The first thing Jess did when they reached Dodge was send a wire to Josiah Thornton inquiring about the annulment. No answer was immediately forthcoming, but he told Mattie not to worry, that everything would work out.
They got a room at the nearest hotel. Following Mattie up the stairs, Jess wondered just how long it did take to get an annulment. How much longer would he have to wait to make Mattie his, truly and legally his?
There was an awkward moment when he closed the door to their room. Mattie had not wanted separate accommodations. She didn’t feel safe in Dodge, didn’t like the constant stream of rowdy cowboys who roamed the streets, didn’t trust the buffalo hunters who smelled worse than their horses.
And now they were alone. They had talked of love, they had talked of marriage, but they had not talked of spending the night together, alone, in a small room that had only one narrow bed.
Mattie gazed at the bed, which was covered with a colorful red, white and blue quilt, and then she slid a glance at Jess. Two bright spots of crimson bloomed in her cheeks when she saw the heat smoldering in his smoky gray eyes.
“Jess…”
“I can wait, Mattie. That annulment should come through soon.” He said the words, meaning them. But it wouldn’t be easy. He’d wanted her for so long. Before, the specter of her husband had stood between them, but Thornton was out of the picture now.
“Jess.” Mattie held out her arms, a smile that was both shy and sensual playing over her lips. She had waited too, and she was tired of waiting. She would never belong to Jess McCord any more than she did now, at this moment. A piece of paper might make it legal, but her love for him was as binding as any document, more enduring than words printed on a page. She belonged to Jess, she thought happily, belonged to him as she had never belonged to Josiah Thornton.
Jess drew Mattie close, his heart beating with hope and fear, hope that she did indeed want him as he wanted her, and fear that he was mistaken.
“Love me, Jess,” Mattie whispered, her face buried against his chest. “We’ve waited for so long.”
“Mattie!”
His arms crushed her close as his mouth claimed hers in a fierce kiss of possession. From this night forward she would be his woman, only his.
His hand, pressed against her back, held her close, and then he let his hand slide down her back to cradle her buttocks as he ground his hips against hers, letting her feel his need.
Mattie moaned softly. She had denied herself to this man for the last time. He was what she wanted, what she had always wanted, and now he would be hers, only hers, forever hers.
Their lips still fused together, they made their way to the bed. Jess sat down, drawing Mattie onto his lap, and then fell sideways, carrying her with him, their bodies straining toward each other.
Jess leaned across Mattie, his lips raining soft kisses over her face, his dark eyes alight with a vibrant inner glow as she arched beneath him. “Mattie,” he whispered, “you’re so beautiful.”
She believed him, she thought. This time she believed him because she felt beautiful. And shy and uncertain and eager and anxious as he slowly undressed her, his lips brushing against her skin, his hands lightly caressing the contours of her body. She felt the heat climb in her cheeks when she lay naked beneath his gaze, and she wished suddenly that it was night so that she might hide in the darkness. Unable to stop herself, she crossed her arms over her breasts.
Jess smiled down at her, understanding her modesty and loving her more because of it. Rising, he started to undress. He stopped when he felt her hand on his arm.
“I want to,” Mattie said, and when he sank down on the mattress, she began to undress him, her hands trembling.
“You don’t have to, Mattie,” he said, his voice suddenly thick.
“But I want to.”
He had never had a woman undress him before. Not even Kathleen. The touch of her hands did funny things to his insides until he was trembling too. He murmured Mattie’s name, feeling as though he had been reborn, as if this time was the first time for them both. He looked at her and saw woman, beautiful, innocent, the giver of life and comfort. Her hair, as dark as midnight, fell around her bare shoulders and trailed over her breasts like skeins of fine ebony silk, and he lifted his hand slowly, gently, and let his fingertips slide over the heavy silken mass.
She looked up at him and saw man, handsome, virile, a shield against fear, the protector of life. His skin was dark and smooth, like satin over steel, drawing the touch of her hand.
For a timeless moment they gazed at each other, eager to touch and yet hesitant to hurry the moment they had been waiting for.
“Mattie.” He placed his hands on her arms and drew her close, his mouth slanting over hers, teasing and tasting the sweetness within. His hands moved in slow circles over her back, down the length of her thighs, then up to cup her breasts.
It was what she had yearned for, waited for, prayed for. The sound of his voice, the exquisite touch of his hands and lips, the warmth of his breath as he covered her face and body with kisses. And as he grew acquainted with each and every inch of her flesh, she let her hands discover the length and the breadth of his powerful frame. His body was firm, his skin smooth and warm beneath her questing fingertips, the hair on his chest like rough velvet against her breasts.
She explored the span of his shoulders, the solid wall of his chest, his flat belly, heard his gasp of pleasure as her hands moved lower, lower, fanning the fires between them until the tiny fla
me became a roaring inferno that swept them up, ever up, higher and higher, until all thought was gone and there was only pleasure, wave after wave of pleasure, and the taste of his lips on hers, and the sound of his voice crying her name.
For a long moment they lay still, and then Jess rolled onto his side, carrying Mattie with him, his arms holding her close.
She heard him whisper her name as her eyelids fluttered closed, felt his lips move in her hair as she fell asleep in his arms.
*
There were no ready-made white wedding dresses to be had in Dodge City, but Jess found an old Mexican woman, Maria Sanchez, who had seven yards of white silk and agreed to make Mattie a gown for sixty silver dollars, plus the cost of the silk.
It seemed like a princely sum to pay for a dress, but Mattie wanted it, and he couldn’t say no.
Jess sat outside the old woman’s house while she measured Mattie for the dress.
Dodge was a new town, still rough around the edges. The streets were lined with wagons bringing in buffalo hides and meat and loading up on supplies. In one year alone, over two hundred thousand hides had been shipped East. Huge piles of buffalo bones littered the plains.
He frowned thoughtfully. This was not where he wanted to make a new life for Mattie and himself. Abilene was an older town, with more to offer. Perhaps they’d go there. He could probably land a job as a deputy until something better came along…
Jess swore under his breath. Did he want to get tangled up wearing a badge again? He thought of Kathleen. She’d never spoken against his being a lawman, probably because she knew how much wearing a badge had meant to him, but he knew she’d worried every time he walked out of the house. Could he do that to Mattie?
He gazed into the distance. Life had been so much simpler among the Indians, but they were having hard times now, and he couldn’t ask Mattie to make her home in the Dragoons with Cochise. Maybe he could buy some land somewhere, raise some cattle, but it took money to do that, a lot of money. He’d have to work for a little while, and being a lawman was all he knew.
