“You know, when I was little, I used to imagine there were other people like my siblings and me,” I admit. “When I did, I thought they would look like we did, with our strange white hair. Is that weird?”
Annabelle shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s weird.” She sighs, turning slightly, but not pulling away from me. “It’s hard to imagine not growing up with other Godlings. It must have been so difficult, thinking you were alone and not knowing what was happening to you. I would have imagined others like me.” She laughs at herself and smiles. “Can you imagine a whole passel of orange-haired and purple-eyed Godlings running around?”
“I like your hair.” The admission surprises me. I shake myself and back up a step.
The blush that simple statement inspires in Annabelle makes her laugh. I don’t know why I brought up my hair color with her. I have never spoken of my childhood fantasies to anyone, not even Van or Ivy. There is something about Annabelle that dismantles my guard. I take another wary step back.
Annabelle’s eyebrows rise a little, and she tucks one corner of her lip between her teeth worriedly. I don’t know if it’s a ploy or real, but I worry I’m about to push her away before I can get answers. Slowly, I say, “Until David showed up, I thought our hair color had something to do with our hunger.”
“Why did you think that?” Annabelle asks.
I shrug. “All three of us have the same hair color, but both my parents are brunettes and so is my grandma. It’s such a strange color, too. Not blond, just white.”
“You don’t dye it?” Annabelle teases.
“Actually, we’ve tried. It never holds the dye, just washes right out.”
“Interesting.”
Something causes Annabelle to scratch her hand. The movement must make her remember how it had held mine only moments before, because she is now staring at my hands. Her cheeks flood with color.
“Sorry,” Annabelle says, looking embarrassed. She gestures at my hand. “I didn’t mean to latch onto you like that.”
Part of me is relieved to not be touching her any longer. Another part of me admits that it wasn’t an unpleasant experience. Or perhaps it just makes me think of that night in the club and David’s questionable advice. He never gave up his quest to repay whatever he experienced. Despite his claim that he doesn’t care what I choose to do to get over Ivy, I suspect he wants me to hold onto the betrayal and bitterness I feel when I think of her. No doubt that would serve his purposes better. I shake thoughts of going against his desires out of my head viciously and look at Annabelle.
“It’s okay. I didn’t really mind.”
Annabelle’s still-reddened face lights up with a grin. “So, the library?”
“Lead the way.”
It only takes a few more minutes of walking to come upon the large library structure. Nestled among the trees, the two-story building still manages to blend in with the natural environment. The quiet of the area is calming, but it does make me wonder.
“Is it okay to be here? I don’t see anyone else around.”
Annabelle nods. “It’s fine. Some of our classes are taught here. Today is just a free day. People went to the fight or to work on their own interests. Come on.”
I follow her up the steps of the building and into the quiet of thousands of books. I marvel at their collection. My eyes wander over the titles we pass. I’m surprised to find average topics like math, science, and literature—books I would see in any library. About to ask her about it, my brain kicks in first. This isn’t just a training camp, it’s a school. Annabelle said she has been here most of her life, so they must learn all the regular subjects here along with the Godling side of their education.
“Here we are,” Annabelle says.
The Book sounded so ominous and important. When I glance down at a whole row of very ordinary-looking textbooks I feel a little let down. Perhaps there was a reason David didn’t bother to mention it.
“That’s it?” I ask.
Annabelle glances at my expression and starts laughing. “You look so disappointed!” She giggles again and pats my forearm gently. “Don’t worry, the real book is locked away somewhere I’m sure only David and his cronies know about. Well, one of the original copies anyway. There were seven written when the first group of Godlings decided to band together, but obviously, it would be pretty hard to teach all the students around the world with only seven copies.”
She pulls one of the books off the shelves and hands it to me. “This is the dumbed-down version they give us, the Cliff’s Notes, basically. I’m sure they’re missing tons of information the head Godlings think we can’t understand or shouldn’t know, but it’s got all the basics. And it sounds like David didn’t even cover those with you.”
“He didn’t even tell us this was a school, or that people come here as children.”
“What has he been teaching you then?”
“Combat, control. That’s pretty much it.”
Annabelle rolls her eyes. “Geez, we’re going to have to start at the beginning.”
“First, I want to hear about the promise.”
She takes the book back and flips to the exact page I wanted. She hands it back to me, this time looking a little nervous. “David really should have told you about this.”
“Why? Is it bad?”
“No, but it’s important. And I’m pretty sure David plans on pitting you against James before you go home.”
“What makes you say that?”
She shrugs. “Because he makes James fight everyone. He has to be sure.”
“Sure about what?”
Annabelle lets out an exasperated sigh. “Why don’t you just read it?”
“Fine, fine,” I say as I look down at the page and read.
When our battle with the Eroi began centuries ago, the leaders of the Godlings consulted the great Seer, Egidio. Egidio promised the leaders that when the Godlings had gained sufficient knowledge and power, a gift would be given. This gift would come in the form of a Godling blessed with the power to reclaim lost purpose and harness the true potential of the Hunger. This gift will be the downfall of those who choose to abuse power and cause harm. When this gift is given, the Eroi will be destroyed.
“Wait,” I say, shaking my head. “Seer? This sounds like mythology. I was hoping for some real answers.”
“Zander,” Annabelle says slowly, “this isn’t mythology. It’s real.”
This is quickly getting to be too much for me to take in. “What, like super powers? Annabelle, that sounds ridiculous.”
The smile that forms on Annabelle’s lips is kind, but sad. She looks up at me with hooded eyes. Guilt for attacking what she must believe in deeply urges me to apologize. A small motion from Annabelle’s hands draws my attention before I can form the words. Something about the way she moves her hands seems strange, but as I watch her press her palms together, I can’t pinpoint what it is.
Slowly, Annabelle raises her hands to her face. As her forehead touches against her fingertips, my eyes fly wide as I realize what seemed off. The soft glow emanating from her hands startles me, making me back up a step. My heart begins racing, even though it can no longer find the proper rhythm.
“Annabelle, what…?” My voice is barely a whisper. I’m sure she hasn’t even heard me until her eyes open, meeting mine, filled with an ache that seems familiar somehow.
My mind is screaming at me to get away from her. I have every intention of doing so until her fingers touch lightly against my cheeks. I gasp as a rush of light spreads through me, momentarily stealing away my pain. Scared beyond what I can process, I knock her hand away from me and stumble back.
I look back at Annabelle, on the verge of panicking. What did she just do? I nearly trip over the bookshelves as I try to get farther away, stopping when I see the stunned expression on Annabelle’s face. I can’t understand why tears are streaming down Annabelle’s face.
“Oh, Zander,” she whispers, “you hold so much pain.�
�
More tears fall, but the light from her hands slowly vanishes. Annabelle’s body goes suddenly limp, nearly falling to the ground before I can wake myself up enough to catch her. I am breathing hard as I gently lower her to ground and kneel at her side.
“Annabelle,” I call. “Annabelle, are you okay? Please wake up. I don’t know what’s happening. Annabelle, please.”
Relief rushes through me when her eyes flutter open a second later. “Zander,” she exclaims quietly. Immediately, her face falls into a frown. “Zander, you’re so sad, in so much pain.”
“What was that?” I ask, amazed and completely freaked out that she could get so much from me in barely half a second.
“I have a gift,” she says simply.
I just shake my head at her. “Apparently, but what did you do to me? I felt… I don’t even know. For just a moment, I felt like I did when I was a kid, before the hunger, the killing… before Ivy.”
“I took away your pain,” she whispers. “I can only do it with emotional pain, and it’s just temporary, I’m afraid. I wish I could do more.”
I sit back against the bookshelves and press my hands to my forehead. This is way too much to wrap my head around right now. A million different questions are flying through my mind. Choosing just one seems impossible. It takes a great deal of effort to focus my mind around the most important and immediate.
“Do all Godlings have gifts?”
Annabelle shakes her head. “No, it’s very rare. There are over four hundred Godling students here, and there are only two, maybe three, who have a gift, including me.”
“Maybe three? What do you mean?”
“James,” she says with a sigh. “David and the other leaders think he has a gift, the gift.”
“You mean in the promise? The gift that will destroy the Eroi?”
She nods with a certain amount of resignation evident. “Supposedly. Everyone thinks he’s more God than Godling because he can take down any opponent and win any competition, but no one can pinpoint what his gift might be. Personally, I don’t think he has one. He’s just a brute.”
“No one knows what this great gift is supposed to be?” I ask.
“Nope.”
I have no idea whether or not James has this special gift, but I do find it strange that no one actually knows what the gift is supposed to do. “You said maybe three, so that means there’s one other here with a gift. What can they do?”
Annabelle grins. “Penny can see the source of a person’s pain, know what you did to cause it.” She laughs. “Basically, she’s a human lie detector. Try to stay away from her if you can. She’s terrible at keeping secrets.”
“Thanks for the warning,” I say, and I mean it. David doesn’t need to know everything I’ve ever done to cause pain.
Sitting on the floor of the library, we are both quiet, lost in personal thoughts and feelings. I am disturbed to realize just how much David left out of his explanation that first night, and how much he has intentionally avoided telling us ever since. I plan on taking this book with me and reading every word. As Annabelle said, I’m sure there are many important pieces missing from this one that are in the original book, but I have to start somewhere. First…
I turn to look at Annabelle, who has her head down. “Thank you,” I say quietly. It only lasted a second, and it scared me more than anything else, but for that brief moment, none of this existed.
She looks up, smiling once again. “No problem. I hope the book helps.”
“No, I meant for whatever you just did with your gift.” I look away in shame. “I don’t think I even remembered what is what like not to carry around all that pain.”
“Everyone should know happiness,” Annabelle whispers.
Chapter Eleven: The Puzzle
(Vanessa)
Thanks to Grandma’s watchful eye, avoiding alone time with Ketchup hasn’t been much of a problem. Grandma and I are in a suite together, while Zander got his own room next to ours. Ketchup is halfway across the complex in the guest housing. I don’t know why David agreed to let him come if we were going to be kept apart the entire time. I take a deep breath, reminding myself that it’s a good thing to be on my own. I need to focus.
So, as I walk up to an unfamiliar building for my first training session, I try to keep my mind strictly on business. My hesitation at the door gives me enough time to read the sign. Veterinary Clinic? Why on earth would David send me to the vet’s office?
Memories of David and the tabby cat erupt as if they are happening right then. My stomach turns, and I back away from the door. I am not putting myself through that again. If David thinks I’m going to spend the next two weeks watching animals be tortured, he has another thing coming.
I turn to leave. First, I will find Ketchup, and then we are getting out of here. My back is to the door when someone calls out.
“Vanessa Roth?”
I keep walking.
“Van, where are you going?”
Without turning around, I say, “If David expects me to sit through anymore of his disgusting lessons in brutality, he’s crazier than I thought.”
The slap-slap of shoes against pavement should have alerted me, but I still jump when a hand lands on my shoulder.
“That’s not what this is about at all! Don’t leave yet, please. I’ve been so excited to meet you!”
It’s against my better judgment, but I turn around. I’m caught off guard by the perky, apron-wearing girl staring back at me. “Who are you?”
She sticks her hand out eagerly. “I’m your trainer, Emma.”
“My trainer? But you look like you’re my age!”
Emma laughs. “I’m nineteen actually, but I get that a lot. I’ve been a trainer here for a year.”
As much as I don’t want to, I can’t help liking Emma, just a little. I’m still pretty leery of this whole thing, though. “What exactly are you planning to train me in… at the animal clinic?”
“I can promise you it won’t be anything like David’s lessons.” A hint of anger flashes across her face for just a moment. Then she’s back to smiling like a little girl. “I have a very different approach from David. No animals are hurt, ever. Instead, we’re going to focus on helping and healing. How does that sound?”
“Suspicious,” I say before thinking.
Emma’s bubbling laugh bursts out with no shame. “It’s always easy to spot one of David’s trainees.” Her face sobers a bit. “But really, I’m nothing like David. No matter how much of an honor it is to work with him, he and I will never agree on training methods.”
“An honor?” I snort. “What is so special about David? He is the worst, and he has no idea how to play nicely with others.”
“I do agree, he must have missed that childhood lesson,” Emma admits with a chuckle, “but regardless of his lack of social graces, his power is incredible. He’s the most talented Godling I’ve ever met. Plus, he is the Padrone of the compound.”
“The what?”
Emma’s nose scrunches thoughtfully. “I think it literally means Lord, but he basically runs the compound and is in charge of the school and all the students.”
My heart sinks. How can he be in charge? I thought he must just be some bureaucratic underling sent to babysit us! “But, but he’s been living at our house for months! How can he be the leader?”
“Well, he does have other managers. He stayed in daily contact with the compound, but he thought it was important that he be the one to make the decision about your family.”
Somehow, that sounds much more ominous than ever before. “The decision?”
“David didn’t explain?” Emma asks. When I shake my head, she continues, “Wilders who are discovered usually aren’t brought to the compound. Especially not when they’re as old as you and your brothers.”
I push down the sick feeling stirring in my stomach. “Why not?
“If wilders are discovered, it’s usually because they’ve exposed us.” Emma s
eems completely serious for the first time. “Van, exposing the Godlings is punishable by death. Most wilders are executed as soon as they’re found.”
I struggle to understand that after stopping Zander from killing Ivy, we very nearly walked right up to our executioner. Immediately, I begin to wonder why David spared us. Not for the sake of mercy, that’s for sure. I try to come up with some logical reason, but none come to mind other than whatever it is he’s trying to get out of us. That hardly makes me feel better. What also comes to mind is the inconsistency of Emma’s comment.
“But, David knew about my family a year ago. He contacted my Grandma after Oscar killed our parents.” I shake my head in confusion. “If he needed a reason to get rid of us, he had it a year ago. Why would he spare us?”
Emma shrugs. “I have no idea, but I do know that David never makes a decision without a good reason behind it.”
I haven’t trusted David since day one. Nothing is going to convince me that his reasoning won’t somehow result in my family and me being hurt. David is the type of person who uses people to accomplish his goals no matter the cost. As much as I want to turn and run, staying and learning is the only way I’m going to figure out his motive for keeping us alive. Now, I’m more determined than ever.
“Does that apply to pairing me with you?” I ask Emma.
“Of course it does!” she says happily.
Turning back toward the clinic, she motions for me to follow her. This time, I follow. I’m still pretty wary of trusting anyone here, including Emma, but I realize I have little choice if I expect to learn anything during my visit. It’s only two weeks, I tell myself as I follow her into my first training session.
“I think you’re going to like this a lot,” Emma says as she directs me through the clinic to a set of double doors. “My approach to hunger control isn’t just about brute willpower. I believe that if a Godling can find a deeper motivation for why they want to control their hunger, the rest will come much more easily.”
“Does that really work?” I want to believe her, but I’m not so sure mind can overpower hunger.
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