“No, you weren’t wrong.”
“Then why are we having this discussion?”
Why are we having this discussion? A million emotions run amok inside my heart, embarrassment and frustration chief among them. David is not my dad—not even close—and I have no desire to sit down and have a heart to heart with him about my love life. In fact, it’s the last thing I would ever want to do. I have no choice.
“I’m scared of dragging Ketchup into all of this before I know what’s going to happen to me.”
Cocking his head to one side slightly, David says, “What do you think is going to happen to you?”
I hesitate. “I’ll turn into you.” I hold my breath, terrified of what David’s reaction will be.
“Why does that idea frighten you so much?” David asks, his expression deceptively neutral.
“I…” My voice freezes before I can say what I’m really thinking. Then, in a moment of insanity, I reconsider and say exactly what’s on my mind. “Because you’re harsh and unkind and soulless, and I don’t want to be like that.”
I half expect David to slap me right then and there, but he only nods and considers me very carefully. “If you had to become like one of the Godlings you’ve met, who would you choose?” When I don’t answer him right away, his eyes narrow. Clearly, he wants a real answer.
Swallowing hard, I think about his question. It takes me a moment before I say, “Chris.”
David’s hostile stance doesn’t change in the least, yet the corner of his mouth twitches into a smile for just a moment. I don’t know what that means. Did I give him the answer he wanted, or is he laughing at me? Either way, it freaks me out more than a little.
“Is your fear of turning into your worst enemy the only thing keeping you from a relationship with Ketchup?” David asks, apparently ready to move on.
I shake my head slowly and say, “I’m just not ready for the kind of relationship Ketchup wants yet.”
David’s eyebrows rise. “If he is pressuring you to have sex with him…”
“Ugh, no! I can’t believe I’m talking about this with you!” I fume. “Ketchup is not pressuring me into anything. I just meant that he wants my whole focus, my whole heart, everything.” I knot my hands up in my hair painfully. “He has my heart, but everything is too screwed up right now for me to put everything into his hands like he wants. I just need some time, okay?”
Surprisingly, David says, “Okay.” He stands up and sets his empty coffee cup in the sink before turning back to me. “Aren’t you going to be late for school?”
“I… you …” I splutter uselessly. Clamping my mouth shut, I walk away.
By the time I reach the driveway, Zander is waiting with his foot on the gas pedal. He doesn’t comment when I climb in. He just drives. Zander seems to be in about as good of a mood as I am about David’s return. The ride to school is silent. We part ways without speaking more than a quick goodbye.
My morning classes drag by painfully. I find myself wishing I had a few more classes with Ketchup this year. Every time that thought creeps up, though, my conversation with David flashes back into my mind. I can’t figure him out. Oscar’s ramblings about intentions sticks to the inside of my skull, making me wonder what David’s intentions are when it comes to Ketchup. Is he pushing me toward him because he approves, or is he acting like he’s okay with him, expecting I’ll do the opposite of what he wants? That whole conversation was a confusing mess. My head is throbbing by fourth period.
I walk toward my locker, hoping Ketchup will already be there. When I turn the corner, I feel my whole day crumble to pieces. “Noah, what are you doing here?”
His eyes flit up to me. They widen momentarily before dipping back down to his shoes. “I…I wanted to talk.”
Already in a foul mood, the prospect of spending my lunch hour with Noah does nothing to improve that. It hurts just to look at him, and I no longer trust him even a little. I turn away and say, “I think we already said everything we needed to.”
“Maybe you did,” Noah says, “but I didn’t. I came to apologize.”
I turn to look at him slowly. “What?”
“Van, I’m sorry about what I said at your house. You didn’t owe me an explanation. Your personal life is your own business, and I had no right to intrude, or blame you for not letting me in as much as I wanted.”
For a moment, all I can do is stand there staring at him. “Um, thanks.” I shake my head and try to put my thoughts back together enough to speak. “I mean, I’m sorry that you were hurt, Noah. I really didn’t intend to lie to you when you first asked about Ketchup coming with us. Everything is so messed up right now. The only thing I do know is that I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know you didn’t,” Noah says.
“I wanted to trust you, Noah.” I sigh and take a step closer to my locker. Too tired to continue carrying my bag, I let it drop to the floor. “I wanted to believe that you were my friend just because you wanted to be, but even if that were true, I still could never tell you everything you want to know.”
Noah shakes his head. “I was your real friend, and I still am. You don’t have to tell me everything. I just got scared, and I freaked out.” Noah scratches his head, delaying the words he really wants to say. “I told you I was worried, and that feeling has only gotten worse. I let that fear take over, and it cost me our friendship. I’m so sorry, Van.”
He looks up, and I know he sees the pain in my eyes, the confirmation that not having him around is more difficult than I am willing to admit. I can see the questions burning in his eyes, and I beg him not to ask them. When Noah steps toward me, my arms tighten around my body in defense.
Noah doesn’t back up, but the tension in his shoulders softens. “I know you have no good reason to trust me, but I’d really like to be the friend you need again… if you’ll let me.”
He looks so broken down. My chest suddenly feels heavy, constricted. I want to shrug it all off, but a whole torrent of emotions and fears rage through me in that moment. It’s not as simple as that! The confusion running through me makes my head pound. My skin prickles, as if I’m suddenly standing next to a fire. I’m struggling to find a response that makes sense when Noah’s body is suddenly slammed into the lockers. I gasp as Ketchup pins Noah down.
“What are you doing here?” Ketchup demands. Heads turn in our direction.
“Ketchup, stop,” I say. Pain shoots through my head. I press my palm against my forehead. “He just wanted to apologize. Don’t hurt him.”
“Apologize? Nobody wants to hear his apologies. He showed up unannounced at your house, accused you of betraying him when he had no claim on you to begin with, and nearly got you killed!” Ketchup shoves him against the locker again.
Pain is raging behind my eyes, but I stumble forward and grab at Ketchup’s hand. I’m not prepared for him to yank his hand away from mine with a gasp of pain. All thoughts of Noah vanish from his mind. “Van, you’re burning up! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say as I wrap my arms around my body. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I just want to get out of this hallway before someone calls a teacher, and I get detention. Ketchup and Noah both stare at me with looks of concern. Neither of them looks convinced.
I start to say something but, before the first words leave my mouth, the room starts to spin. I fall against the lockers, trying to keep my feet under me. Two pairs of hands grab at me. I can only hope they’re Ketchup and Noah, because I can’t see them. I can’t see anything anymore. Fuzzy, swirling images melt into blackness.
Hazy sharpness that defies logic spreads across my vision. An arm closes around my neck and—despite all my power—I am at his mercy. Panic sweeps through my body, sucking me into its vortex of helplessness. He crushes my windpipe slowly as I claw at his arm. My fingers lose strength, and I know I am seconds away from death.
Air bursts back into my lungs, suddenly, in an unexpected wave. Gasping, I fall to the ground, wan
ting nothing more than to pass out. The feel of hands grabbing at my body sends me into a fit, and I fight back on pure reflex. A soothing voice begs me to listen as he pulls me up to my feet. I look up into Noah’s eyes as the vision evaporates.
Bright light sears into my eyes as I come back to reality. The feel of hands on me nearly sends me into panic again, but I realize it’s only Ketchup and Noah before losing it completely. Sucking in a huge breath, I force my heart to stop racing. As I get my feet back under me, I realize the hallway is barren of other students.
“Get your hands off her!” Ketchup growls. I pitch sideways, and he tries to shove Noah away from me.
“Stop!” I cry out. I push my hands against Ketchup’s chest to hold him off.
His glinting eyes peer down at me, though I know his anger isn’t directed at me. For now. I press gently, pushing him back a step. “Ketchup, please calm down. Noah didn’t do anything.”
“If he hadn’t been here bothering you, you wouldn’t have just…” His eyes dart over to Noah. Another round of frustration blossoms as he is forced to hold back what he was about to say. “It’s his fault,” he snaps.
“No, it’s not. It just happened,” I argue. “Would you please just calm down for a second?”
Ketchup breathes in, forcing his chest to expand to its absolute limit as he tries to do what I ask. It’s completely the wrong time, but I can’t help noticing that two weeks with the Godlings certainly didn’t hurt his physique any. I bite my bottom lip and attempt to refocus.
I turn away from Ketchup, but keep him in my line of sight… just in case. Noah stands a few feet away, equally on edge and ready for a fight he is confident he can win. Beneath the anger, though, is a heavy dose of confusion that is completely understandable. The dangerous look directed at Ketchup’s head, well, that’s expected, but not helpful.
“Are you okay?” Noah asks. His voice is a little too forceful, but I don’t take it personally.
“I’m fine. It was nothing.”
He looks anything but convinced. He lets it go for now, too busy eyeing Ketchup.
“Listen, Noah,” I say as I take a step toward him, “thank you for apologizing. You’re a good friend, and I hope…” My voice trails off as I feel Ketchup stiffen behind me. He’s not going to like this, but I’ll explain later. I know I am still confused about everything surrounding Noah, but this has nothing to do with that. After what I just saw, added to the fears I already have that Noah knows more than he’s letting on, I have to do it. “I hope we can… still be friends.”
I close my eyes as Ketchup’s hostility seems to fill the entire hallway. I wait for him to say something, to blow up or fight me on this. My breathing hitches as he spins away from me and storms off without a word. All sense of feeling abandons me, leaving me cold and numb. Ketchup just walked away from me. Tears prick the backs of my eyes. He just left?
Blinking rapidly to hold back my tears, I focus on breathing. The slow expansion of my lungs burns as pain slices through my heart. My first instinct is to call after him and explain. Fear keeps my mouth shut. What if he won’t listen or doesn’t believe me? What if he’s finally had enough? I close my eyes. He just needs a few minutes to calm down, that’s all. He’ll understand, once I get a chance to explain.
“Van, are you okay?” Noah asks.
“I’m fine,” I say with more steadiness than I actually feel.
Noah’s head dips down. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to cause problems with Ketchup.”
“I know. It’s okay. He’ll calm down, and I’ll talk to him later.” We’ll talk later, and I’ll explain everything. He’ll understand. He will. I keep repeating that to myself as I force myself to focus on Noah.
“Look, Noah. I meant what I said. I want us to still be friends, but I need to know something first.”
“I’m sure I can guess…”
“Maybe,” I interrupt, “but maybe not. I just need you to listen for a minute, okay?”
Noah nods.
“If we’re going to be friends, I need to know that you’re going to be honest with me. If I can’t trust you, this isn’t going to work.”
I half expect Noah to take exception to this demand. After all, if we’re taking everything that’s happened lately at face value, I’m clearly the one with honesty issues. The fact that Noah doesn’t object, and in fact takes on a guilty expression, only makes my suspicions deepen.
Taking a risk, I say, “I need that honesty to start right now.” My fingers twitch. “You saw what happened to my arm, didn’t you?”
His mouth pops open right away, and I can tell denial is about to follow. I narrow my eyes, and his lips snap shut. Noah scrubs his hands through his hair. Oddly, it doesn’t mess it up at all. He drops his hands and looks up at me.
“Yes, I did.”
A strange mixture of satisfaction and fear pulses through me at his admission. “Then why didn’t you say anything? How did that not freak you out?”
Noah sighs. “Van, that first day we met in class, I told you I had already heard all the rumors.”
“Yeah, but…”
“I’d seen stuff too, besides what happened in the alley that night,” he interrupts. “You never noticed me before that day, but I’ve been here at school with you since freshman year. I knew who you were because Kennedy and Lisa were friends. I wanted to get to know you, but I didn’t know how to approach you. You always had Ketchup around and your group of friends who were fiercely protective. I couldn’t help but notice you, though, and sometimes see the things you could do.”
I can feel the blood draining to my toes. “What do you… what have you seen?”
Leaning back against a locker, Noah looks down. “Do you remember ditch day freshman year? Everyone went to the skate park.”
Reaching out for something to steady myself, I practically fall against the lockers. My fingers start shaking. I remember that day in perfect detail.
“Holly got annoyed with some of her friends for acting stupid and dragging her there in the first place. She walked off to another part of the park.” Noah stops talking, stepping a little closer to me. The concern on his face is nearly equal to his curiosity.
I slide down to the floor and drop my head to my knees.
“Holly wasn’t paying attention to who was around her,” Noah continues, “but you were. You saw that senior follow her, thinking she would be an easy mark. When he tried to force himself on her…”
I grabbed him by his neck and threw him into a tree. I threw him so hard that for a moment, I thought I had killed him. When his eyes blinked open and he started gasping and crying like the little piece of trash he was, I grabbed him again and threatened to finish the job if he ever so much as looked at a girl again. I left him there blubbering and walked Holly back to her house to change her torn shirt before anyone saw her.
“You saw all of that?” I ask quietly.
Noah sits down next to me. “Yeah, I did. I suspected before that the rumors about you were true. After I saw what you did, I realized only some of them were true.”
“Only some of them?”
“Only the good ones.”
“There are good rumors about me?”
Noah chuckles. “Well, I guess it depends on whether or not you think super strength and the ability to heal are good things, which I do.” Noah elbows me playfully. “The other stuff, though, I knew then that you weren’t some crazy girl who went around causing problems. You’re a good person, Van. You try to help people. I’m not scared of that.”
“I had no idea, Noah.”
He smiles. “I know. I should have told you. Maybe it would have made the last few months easier if you knew you could really trust me with your secrets. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”
I suppose he’s right, but I can’t help feeling like he’s leaving something out. I try to pinpoint if there’s anything about his explanation that makes me anxious. I can’t find anything. Even still, I keep my defenses up
. His explanations always seem to make sense, which is inherently suspicious in my book.
“Even after what you’ve seen,” I say slowly, “there’s a lot of stuff I can’t tell you, Noah.”
“I figured that, and I’m really sorry for trying to pressure you to tell me more than you were ready to,” he says, “but I hope you know, I’ll be here for you if you need me.”
Images from the vision flash back through my mind. I blink them away, not wanting to base my whole trust on something I only got glimpses of. For now, though, I say, “I know you will, Noah.”
Noah seems satisfied, but I look away as a heavy weight presses in on me. I gave Noah a second chance based on a sketchy vision, but what led me to the point of needing to be saved? Why was Noah there and not Ketchup? I cinch my arms tightly around my body. Did I just set myself on the path to take me to the vision? Will Ketchup ever forgive me, or did I finally push him too far? My heart breaks, and I wish with everything I am that it isn’t true.
Chapter Twenty-One: Delusions
(Zander)
I shoulder my gym bag and head out of the locker room in search of Annabelle. Smiling when I spot her, I walk over and sit beside her on the bench. She closes the chemistry book she was studying and stuffs it back into her bag.
“I told you watching me practice might not be that interesting, but I didn’t think it would be boring enough to get trumped by chemistry.”
Annabelle rolls her eyes. “I was just looking it over while you showered. Trying to cram in studying and translating is a little harder than I expected.”
“And training, basketball, and trying to find some down time,” I add. “Believe me, I can sympathize.”
“That’s for sure.” Annabelle sighs. “It’s so different from living at the compound. Homework is a new thing for me.”
“You never had homework at the compound?”
Wicked Power Page 22
