Graham watched Jade’s face intently. Her jaw clenched, and her throat rose and fell with a gulp, but he couldn’t feel new emotions yet. He played the next one.
“I’m at your apartment, and your car’s not here. I’m worried. Please call me to let me know you’re okay.”
Still nothing. Graham punched the third message.
“You and me, we’re bigger than this thing. We can get through this. Just please, don’t ignore me.”
And another. “It’s been two days, and I haven’t heard from you. I don’t know if you’re ever going to speak to me again, but I just wanted to tell you—no matter what, I’ll never forget you—I think the time we had will always be a part of me, and I’m so thankful for every minute we spent together. I love you.”
“Wow,” Graham muttered. “You broke that guy’s heart.”
Jade’s mouth quivered, and her shoulders hunched. Her head dropped into her lap, and her arms clutched her head. She began to sob. Then weep.
And Graham felt it. A rough tide of anguish tore through him, beginning inside his chest and flooding his body with despair. His own body caved in, and his head fell into his hands. Ugly crying wracked his chest, though he fought to stifle the sounds. The emotions were attached to no particular image for him, but they tugged up memories as if airing out whatever he’d shoved into crevices for the last decade of his life.
The growing distance between himself and his mother surged to the top, telling him he was losing the one family member that was truly his. Following these were other painful memories—all centered around Violet. Like yellowed Polaroids, they flicked before his eyes, good times and bad. A friend who’d embraced who he was, then deserted him. A sister he’d discovered—who then rejected him. A relationship severed with torn edges he wasn’t sure he could ever mend.
The turmoil raked him raw, and when it finally began to ebb, he looked up at Jade through blurred tears. Graham removed his glasses, wiped his face, and put them back into place. Jade was swiping at her cheeks with the back of her hands.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “We were supposed to be in New York today.”
“Yeah?”
“Logan and I. He bought tickets for my birthday. I’m just….” She swallowed. “I’ll be okay.”
The grief trickled out, like the final grains of sand in an hourglass. Graham inhaled and let the ride he’d just been on gradually cease. His dark memories scuttled back into their hidey-holes. He forced a tight smile. “Well, it worked.”
“I figured you weren’t that good of an actor.”
“So how much could you control?”
“Not when they came at all. But I was able to cut them off—finally.”
“That was cutting them off?” Graham whistled. “Okay. I guess I’m in for quite a ride.”
“I told you, you don’t have to—”
He held up a hand. “I want to help you, Jade. I said that before, and nothing’s changed. Everything that just happened—this was all good. We found a safe place where you can let this out, and it won’t hurt anyone. Now you just have to figure out how to control it a little more.”
She nodded.
“Why do you think you were able to influence me then when you couldn’t earlier?”
“I’m not sure. I know the emotions were stronger hearing Lo—” she swallowed, “hearing his voice. It was way more powerful than just thinking about him.”
Graham nodded. “Okay. Well, that’s something, anyway. Ready to try again?”
“Okay,” Jade said, though her voice held a note of reluctance.
“That’s all of the messages,” Graham said. “Maybe we could practice with some other emotions. Something positive.”
“That sounds a lot harder,” Jade said.
“I’m just thinking maybe you should perfect one emotion at a time. At least we haven’t tackled anger yet.”
She grimaced. “Let’s wait a while on that one, okay?”
He smiled. “Fine by me.”
Graham found her photos and scrolled through them. “I thought maybe a picture of you together would stir up some happy feels. So…what exactly am I looking for? What’s—” Graham stopped himself before he could say “Hunky Mister Hulk” again. He cleared his throat. “What’s this guy look like?”
“He’s got dark hair…it’s kind of long…um….” She leaned forward to direct him, but he pulled the phone back.
“Hold on. Let me try to find it without your help first.”
“You’re awfully serious about this technique,” she mused.
He was about to respond when he found one. Jade stood with a man who was almost a head taller than her, their arms wrapped around each other. The guy looked older than Graham had pictured. He zoomed in on the man’s face. What the—? Graham blinked, studying the picture.
“What?” Jade asked. “Did you find it?”
“Yeah….”
“What’s wrong?”
“He looks familiar.” Graham’s most recent dream came back to him in a rush—he saw Violet with someone who looked remarkably like this man in the photo. No—just like him.
What did it mean? Was Graham going crazy? Was his mind conjuring images from something real? Or had he seen this guy in the past and forgotten, his subconscious saving it up to throw it back at him during one of the crazy dreams?
“Where do you know him from?” Graham asked.
“He teaches at the college,” Jade said.
“That must be it,” Graham mumbled, though he couldn’t remember ever meeting this man, and he definitely hadn’t had him as a teacher.
Jade waited patiently, the bridge of her nose creased.
Graham blew out a breath. “Ready to get back to it?” He pushed the bizarre coincidence aside and decided he desperately needed to let his imagination run wild via a notebook and pen as soon as they were done here.
~
Violet had never lived with a man before, and that weekend having Logan in her condo turned out not quite as she’d expected. Having him fawn all over her, give her massages, wash her hair, cook her meals, and show whatever type of affection she requested was nice—no doubt about that. She’d enjoyed their little impromptu photo sessions too. Logan kept begging to take her picture. But she hadn’t fully anticipated the ramifications of more than a short term living arrangement.
Whatever power she held over him seemed to have dulled his usual sense of urgency on so many other issues. He got smelly, and she had to tell him to take a shower. He got hairy, and she had to ask him to shave. He even left the toilet seat up—only once, because she railed on him about it until he was cowering in a corner.
The other problem was that she was beginning to feel cramped. He was always in her space, wanting to be close, to touch her and give her attention, and that eventually got old. When she sent him off, he was still lurking nearby, always watching her with expectant eyes, like a pet ready to come when summoned. By the third day, Violet had made him sleep on the couch and banned him from the second floor unless she specifically asked for him.
Still, their first dinner date had been enjoyable, with other patrons in the restaurant sending them envious and admiring looks. They made a gorgeous couple, and no one could deny that. But by Monday morning, she was ready for Logan to return to his teaching duties and give her a little breathing room.
“Your hair is getting really long,” she said as he was getting dressed. “That’s crazy. Maybe you should cut it before you go to work—you should probably keep up your regular look.”
He nodded and took her suggestion without protest.
“Okay. Now, off to work.”
He pouted. “But I want to stay here with you.”
“I know, honey, but you can’t abandon your usual routine. People might think something was up.”
“Please?”
“No. Go to work. I’ll see you when you get home.” She aimed a finger at him. “And don’t even think about leaving early.”
&nb
sp; He didn’t look happy, but he obeyed. After he had left, Violet stared at the brown curls left on the counter, picked up a handful of his hair, and examined it. It was around six inches long. Six inches in three days? That was crazy—she’d never heard of hair growing so fast. She shook her head and brushed his mess into the trash. She’d have to ask him about that.
Sitting down in a chair in the empty condo, she considered her new boyfriend, and let the thrill of it rise around her. Despite the challenges, this was exactly what she’d wanted—what she should have had years ago when he had been her professor and she the demure young student. But now it was real.
Her fingers toyed with the translucent strings, watching them move and undulate. She briefly considered releasing their hold temporarily, thinking it might help Logan be more focused on his work and therefore seem less suspicious, but she ended up deciding against it. Catching him had proven trickier than she’d expected, and she didn’t want to take any risks of losing him.
Logan was hers forever.
Jade clutched the American Lit textbook to her chest as she crossed the campus of Colorado College on Monday. The sun, still low and newly risen, was uncharacteristically bright as if it had no respect for Jade’s lingering wounds. The nearer she got to the history building, the more her feet dragged. She dreaded seeing Logan, but she felt bad keeping the book. Plus, having it in her apartment reminded her of him. Might as well get rid of it.
It would have been easier to leave the book with the receptionist, but Jade didn’t want to air Logan’s dirty laundry in front of the staff. She hoped most of the faculty wouldn’t be in yet, other than him. Logan had always followed an early schedule, often coming in before the rest to work when the office was quiet before the bustle of the day began.
There was another reason for bringing it in person too. Despite ignoring his calls, she wanted to see him one last time. It was an entirely unfair desire, but she wanted to make sure he wasn’t mad at her.
She clamped all her emotions down tight, hoping she could keep them that way. Her practice session with Graham had given her a little more confidence, although she still hadn’t figured out how to stop the outbursts. She hoped this could be a simple in and out: give his stuff back and get to work in time to open the store.
Jade entered and headed for the faculty wing.
The receptionist hadn’t arrived yet, but a few of the staff were in their offices working with doors left ajar. At the end of the hall on the right was Logan’s office. His door was closed. She paused, took a deep breath, and knocked lightly.
“Come in.” The familiarity of his voice made her breath catch, and she paused for a moment to make sure her feelings were contained.
When she entered, she found him sitting at his desk but not working at it. His legs were loosely crossed, and he peered out the window. The aimless nature of his relaxed posture struck her as odd. Typically he sat bent over a stack of papers with a red pen or his fingers typed away feverishly at the computer. A stray thought made her wonder if their recent breakup had anything to do with the change. She struck down the idea and held up the book.
His eyes found her, and his head cocked ever so slightly, but he waited for her to speak first.
“Hey,” she said.
He held the gaze but didn’t respond.
“I found this at my apartment, so I just figured I’d return it….” Jade hesitated, unsure what else to say to fill in the gaps. Her breakup with Cam hadn’t left anything to return, and she had no prior relationships to go on, so she wasn’t sure how to do any of this.
Logan blinked once, a slow, almost mechanical reaction. Seeming to realize she was waiting for a response, he answered. “Okay.” Then, almost as an afterthought, “Thank you.”
“Right, okay. So…everything else going well for you?”
His eyes strayed to something far off, and he nodded. “Things are excellent. Yes, very good.”
She frowned. “Okay. Well, great. Glad to hear it. I’ll see you later then.” She paused, but when he didn’t respond or turn to look at her again, she turned for the door, wondering what in the world was going on with him.
A man with thick-framed glasses and a square jaw passed her on the threshold.
“Hey, Logan. Just wanted to make sure we’re still on for drinks after work.”
Jade paused in the corridor just outside the open doorway, eavesdropping for a moment. She didn’t have a purpose really, just wanted to see if Logan went back into normal mode with this co-worker and whether the oddness his strange behavior was related to her presence.
“No,” Logan said. “I’m busy.”
“Busy? What? I thought you were going to be my wing man.” The man chuckled. “I know you hate that term, but you said you’d have time for a beer—”
“She’s waiting for me,” Logan said.
“Oh, I see how it is. Ditch me for the lady. Well, I guess I can’t blame you. You have big plans?”
“Plans?” The tone of Logan’s voice was off, the same way it’d been when Jade had talked to him.
“Yeah. What are you going to do?”
Logan answered without hesitation. “Whatever she wants.”
The man chuckled. “Her place or yours?”
“Her condo.”
“Nice. Well, I guess I’ll have to catch you next time then.”
Sensing the coworker’s imminent exit, Jade ducked into a nearby office. Thankfully it was empty. She hid just inside the door until the man passed down the hall.
When she stepped back into the hall, she absorbed what she’d heard. Logan was seeing someone already? It had only been a little over a week, and he already had a date—not even a first date, by the sound of it. How was this possible? Had he been hiding even more from her? Was he seeing someone behind her back?
So consumed was she with this possibility, she didn’t realize she was still in the corridor until she heard his voice coming from his open door just down the hall.
He said something she couldn’t make out and gave a nervous chuckle. “Of course. I’ll be over right after work. Can I bring anything with me? You want something special for dinner?” A pause. “How about dessert, then? I could stop and get cheesecake….” Another pause. “Oh, and what’s your favorite flower?”
Jade’s mouth dropped open. Whoever the girl was, he was kowtowing to her every wish like some pathetic, brainless, lovesick puppy. Who was this girl? And who had he become?
Unable to stand it, she hurried to her car, breaking into a jog for the last bit as she crossed the parking lot. Inside the car, her breaths came in gasps, and she gripped the wheel to try and steady herself. She had to get out of here. Unfortunately, she couldn’t run off to a secluded place. She had to get to work.
Jade started the engine and drove to the bookstore. She was the first one to arrive and was a few minutes early for her opening shift. Letting her head fall back against the headrest, she allowed herself to consider what it all meant. Grief loomed, but the tears weren’t there. Shock had taken hold of her. She closed her eyes and internalized the truth.
Logan had moved on. He had someone else now—someone that he was apparently crazy about. Jade willed herself to be mad, but right now her anger was distant, and the sensation spiraling around inside her was all pain. Images flipped through her mind—of finding him in the woods that first day they’d met. Of their first date, when they’d both revealed their secrets. Of the first time he’d kissed her. Longing swept up over her, an aching need. She’d never taste his lips again, never feel his strong arms pulling her in close. She’d never smell his woodsy scent or run her fingers over the scruff on his chin. She swallowed, imagining she was back in his arms and all the sensations that went along with it.
A light tap made her blink her eyes back open, but she was still deep in the trance. She looked dully at the passenger side of the car where Graham peered through the window with a furrowed brow, his car parked next to hers. His hand fell away from the window,
and he reached for the door handle. She barely registered him crawling inside. His expression was woven with deep feeling, but right this second she didn’t care.
She dropped her head back against the seat. Her vision blurred with memory. She was still lost in the world of Logan, of each kiss she’d shared with him. She experienced them individually, recalling different moments and places. In the rain. On her sofa. In his kitchen. In her car. She deserved this one, last fantasy before coming back to reality. A bounty of false euphoria surrounded her, and she was too weak to tell herself it wasn’t real.
She imagined Logan’s hand, softly brushing her cheek. Crossing the armrest and pulling her face to his own. She leaned in to find his lips, to answer their request. The moisture of his mouth heated her own. One of his hands trailed through her hair. The other one was at her throat. Her own hands reached, seeking his face. Her fingers found his cheek, traced the line of his jaw, but something felt strange. Lips still locked against his, she reached for his hair, but something thin and hard got in the way. It felt like…glasses?
Jade’s eyes flew open, and she stared into Graham’s shocked face. She pulled back sharply. The moisture from his mouth was still wet on her lips. What had just happened?
His brows pulled down behind his glasses. “What just— Oh crap!” Graham pulled his hands away from her face, and they went up to his mouth. “Oh, no. God, Jade—I—”
She stared mutely, absorbing what had just happened. Her mind felt dull like it had been bludgeoned and left her little to reason with. “I…” She swallowed, trying to think what to say, to summon any words, whether or not they were the right ones. “I thought you were him.”
Graham nodded. “I know—I mean, I didn’t know when I was— I just—” His eyes darted away, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’m a horrible friend.”
Her words began to flood back, all in a rush. “No, you’re not. This is all my fault. I just—” She ran her hands through her hair, dragging her fingers against her skull. “I saw him today, and I found out he’s seeing someone else, and I was just sitting here thinking about him—I mean, remembering, like, you know—” She swallowed. “Can we just pretend that didn’t happen?”
Enchanter: The Flawed Series Book Four Page 16
