The next day, after we gave the aliens our updated supply list, we demanded that they respond to the information Matt had told us. We planned our questions beforehand so we wouldn’t make fools of ourselves, and even made a list if they wanted it in writing. Everyone decided that David, Naomi, and I should act as our council of sorts, and represent us as a group, since we usually did most of the talking. I wasn’t thrilled about that decision. I was a terrible public speaker, and any leading I had done in the past consisted of me saying, “Hi. Do stuff.” Somehow I always found myself in the middle of everything that went on here.
Now we sat on our benches, staring dumbly at the black box, awaiting the reply to a statement Naomi had made.
“We’ve heard reports of your kind killing Earth citizens while your machines were on the streets,” she had stated. Will the aliens be honest or deny the claims completely? I’d considered the possibility again that Matt was lying to us, but I couldn’t find a reason why he would lie about something like that.
Finally, the voice fizzled to life in a veil of static. “It was not some-thing we had antic-i-pat-ed,” the voice rang. It sounded extra loud to me again. Maybe the alien stuck its head closer to the microphone when nervous. If it even got nervous. “Some of our kind did not real-ize there were hum-ans in the veh-ic-les. We ass-umed the veh-ic-les were au-to-mat-ed.”
David looked at us with wide eyes. “How odd,” he muttered. We hadn’t expected an admittance like that.
“That only happ-ened in this ci-ty.”
“And you didn’t have some type of life form scanner to show you that human beings were inside?” David asked.
The intercom crackled loudly as the speaker seemed confused. “No, we do not. We have not had ma-ny en-count-ers with life forms such as yours. Hence the stu-dy.”
“What about the people inside buildings and houses? Did you go inside for them, or did you knock the buildings down?”
“It was ob-vi-ous that such dwell-ings held life forms. Our vehi-cles were ab-le to reach in-side.”
“So it’s quite possible that some people were able to hide?” I asked.
“Per-haps. But they could not have sur-vived the blast.”
“What?” The three of us yelled the word in unison. Everyone near us gasped.
“We re-leased gas-es that are poi-so-nous to your kind and caused an ex-plo-sion.”
“When? Why?” David cried out, his voice wavering.
“A day and night cy-cle af-ter your capt-ure. We could not risk an at-tempt to ret-al-i-ate if an-y-one had sur-vived. You must under-stand our pos-it-ion. We did what we could to en-ab-le most of you to sur-vive.”
“But killing others, just so you could watch us sit here like lab mice in a cage?”
“And how are we ever to go back out there?” I yelled. “Unless you plan to keep us here forever!”
“The gas-es will ev-ap-or-ate in due time. You will be safe to leave when our re-search has been con-duct-ed.”
“Not this due time bullshit again!” David spat the words out like they were yesterday’s chewed-up gum. “Answer my question! Justify these murders! I need to hear how you possibly think you’re justified in doing this!” He started pacing across the room, his strides fierce and his gaze glued to the relentless black box.
“Our just-if-i-cat-ions will not sat-is-fy you. We do not think man-y were killed in this fash-ion. Our veh-i-cles did well.” The speaker crackled, a sign that they wouldn’t speak more on the subject.
David drew his hands into fists. “You said they were safe,” he growled through gritted teeth.
“Your fam-i-ly is. They were not caught in the blast.”
He slammed a fist into the intercom’s wall. “That isn’t good enough! Show me!”
“I…can-not,” the voice said, pausing briefly. Is it actually considering the idea?
Julie ran forward to comfort her father, and I took a deep breath. We still had more questions. “Where else did these blasts occur?” I asked.
“All of the cit-ies with maj-or pop-u-lat-ions.”
“Where are you holding everyone else captive?” Naomi asked, glancing down at the list in front of her. Her hands shook as she gripped the paper. I clasped one of her hands within mine.
“In such struct-ures as this one.”
“All in groups about the size of ours?”
“Yes.”
“And every group has access to food and water?”
“Yes.”
“How? Where are you getting everything?”
“From your own fac-il-i-ties. By the time our re-search has been con-duct-ed, your supp-lies will not be term-in-a-ted.”
“Why can’t we have electricity for televisions and appliances?”
“The ex-plos-ions dest-royed most ci-ty pow-er trans-form-ers. We did not an-tic-i-pate that, but there is no way to fix it un-til our re-search has been con-duct-ed.”
“Then how—” David started. He still held his fist against the wall, but his daughter’s warmth kept his nerves calm enough to follow our conversation.
“We found some an-cient gen-er-a-tors a-round this dwell-ing,” the being finished. “They will power these lights and the air vent-i-lat-ion sys-tem, but that is all.”
Naomi and I shared a wary glance. “For how long…?” I asked.
“Long e-nough. We will not let you per-ish.” The voice paused. “You have asked e-nough quest-ions.”
“Wait,” I said. “How much longer are you keeping us here? Why can’t you tell us an approximation?”
“That de-pends. It will not be long-er than your supp-lies will last, and not be-fore the gas clears a-way. That is all I can tell you. No more quest-ions.” The intercom clicked off with one final burst of static.
David slowly released his fist from the wall and sent his foot flying back at it. It hit with a loud thud, leaving behind a dark smudge. “This is all such bull,” he mumbled, clenching his eyes together tightly as he tried to compose himself.
“I’ll say,” Naomi agreed. Her head hung low. She crumpled up the list and tossed it to the floor.
“This is that for the greater good junk that people like to spew, isn’t it? Save the majority of the populace but who cares about killing a few in the process?” David stormed over to our bench and joined us, sitting down so hard that our bench shook. Julie followed him, clutching one of his hands.
“Our wars are like that,” I reminded him. “They’re not the only ones guilty of it.”
He glared at me.
“I’m…not saying I agree with them.” Me and my big mouth. I folded my hands on my lap and wished I could shrink away somewhere. How the hell did I get involved in all this? I was a writer, not a politician.
Naomi looked up suddenly. Without a word, she glanced over at Charles, and the little boy toddled over to her. She picked him up and hugged him tight. “We should ask them to save the generators for an emergency, except for our air,” she finally said.
I nodded. We could deal without lights as long we had our lanterns, candles, and plenty of batteries. Hooray for the Wal-Marts currently being raided by aliens. The conversation with our alien representative had depressed me as much as it had the others, but somehow my mind came up with random shit like it always did.
“Such bull,” David muttered again.
“Such fucking bullshit!” Matt’s voice rang in my ears. He appeared in front of us, gazing down at our faces. His lips were pulled back into a snarl.
My eyes narrowed as I stared at him. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
“Fuck that. I can’t believe you guys just go along with the crap they’re spewing!” He shoved his hands in his jeans and started pacing in front of us. “Oh, okay, mister scary-alien-that’s-not-even-scary, we’ll just sit here like idiots while you kill people and poison our air. By the way, thanks for the oatmeal and tuna, we’re doing super awesome. Thanks for asking!” His voice mimicked a little girl’s.
“Well, I sure
as hell didn’t see you up here telling them anything different!” I yelled, standing to face him. He was a foot taller than me, and I had to angle my neck to look him in the eyes.
Naomi sighed and handed Charles back to his mother, ushering Donna to try and shield the boy from Matt’s cussing, somehow. Donna dragged Julie and Han along with her. Han’s parents thanked her silently.
“That’s because you guys told us to shut the hell up while you were talking to them!”
“No we didn’t! We said for you guys to refrain, unless you had something important to add!”
“It’s obvious you’re running the show. Why bother trying to add shit?”
My dad shuffled up behind me and took a seat. What the hell does he think he’s going to do? I resisted the urge to spin around and glare at him. Instead, I glared at Matt. “Okay, you think you know it all.” I attempted to calm my voice and sound logical rather than emotional. “So tell me, what would you have said? What would you do differently?”
“I sure as hell wouldn’t lay around like a helpless twit!” he screamed.
“Give me fucking examples!” The logical part of me vanished as red fury began to run through my bloodstream.
He stopped pacing and stared down at me. “I would have told them that unless they fucking told us everything we wanted to know, we’d retaliate. I’d get answers about how long we’d be here! I’d demand to be let into other areas of this goddamn school. I’d demand to be served hot food and given a fucking real toilet and shower!”
“So why didn’t you do this in your garden shed?”
“I tried! They wouldn’t fucking respond! Here, you at least somehow have their attention! They speak our language for Christ’s sake. How the hell are we so clueless?”
“Did you not hear us ask this crap? Do you think we like being clueless?” I shouted.
“Fuck if I know! You’re all acting like pansies, so maybe? It seems like it, yeah?” He glanced at David, hoping for some kind of assistance. David stared stubbornly at the ground, his legs spread with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. “Fucking pussies,” Matt challenged again, staring directly into my face.
I hit him square in the jaw with a balled-up fist. He had to take a step backward from the force of my blow.
“Fuck!” he yelled, cradling his jaw.
I wasn’t through yet. “You’re the fucking pussy, Matt! Shouting all this crap after the fact, leaving the real work to us! Oh, sounds familiar. I know why! You do the exact same thing at work!”
I spun around and quickly shook out my clenched fist, which now stung something fierce. It instinctively balled back into a fist as I paced along the wall for a minute and turned back to face him. “I covered for you so many goddamn times, and you still treat me like absolute shit. You think we’re so stupid? How about you talk to them tomorrow? You run the show, and we won’t say a fucking word.” I waved my arms out frantically, not caring if I looked like an idiot. “See if you get anywhere! And don’t forget to run in, guns a-blazing, Rambo style. Maybe you can ask them for a gun supply store, and then we can do the Rambo thing! They wouldn’t give David weapons, but you’re just so macho, they’re sure to give you a whole fucking store!” My face and bloodstream felt as though both were on fire.
“Sam! Matt! Shut up!” Naomi screamed.
Matt looked like he wanted to return the hit, but stopped himself. He kept his jaw cradled in his hands, wincing as he spoke. “If you had such a fucking problem with me, Sam, why didn’t you tell the boss? You act like you’re so tough, but you really are chicken shit. You know that? You wanna know why I always late and shit? Because I knew you’d let me get away with it.”
I took a step away from him. A spiraling sensation began in the pit of my stomach. “You’re absolutely right,” I said, my voice a full octave lower. “I am chicken shit.” The hand that was curled into a fist went limp. My head drooped down.
“Sam, you’re not!” Naomi chimed in, her brown eyes searching to meet my gaze. “Don’t let him do this!”
“No, no, fuck it. All my life I’ve been taking the fucking easy route.” I turned away from Matt, afraid to meet his eyes or Naomi’s. The spiraling sensation within me continued. He’d found out my secret. I walked slowly to the opposite side of the room, arms still limp at my sides. I felt ashamed.
I grabbed my candles along the way. It was starting to get dark, and the aliens hadn’t turned on our lights yet, but that was okay. We’d all have to get used to the darkness.
My dad called out to me, but I ignored him. I stumbled over to the wall behind my tent and slumped down to the floor, thankful I was now partially hidden.
I saw David sit up straight and face Matt, who was frozen in place, head turned in my direction. “It’s not like we can fight them, Matt,” David said. “So best get that idea out of your head. I know—I’ve been there—but we have to just make the best of a really crappy situation, and be thankful we’re here, safe. Together.”
I couldn’t see Matt’s response. He turned away from me and muttered something that was too quiet to hear. Matt walked away from David, disappearing behind the cardboard surrounding the food station.
Naomi approached me. She sat down on the floor next to me. I wanted to meet her warm gaze, but couldn’t. I stared at the small paper rainbow I had taped on the peak of my tent. It was supposed to be a pride flag. Julie had made it for me from the box of crayons I had requested for her last week. It was lame that I taped it up there, really. I always hungered for some way to feel good about myself, even if it was in the most insignificant way possible. It was like blocking a harsh blow with a Q-tip.
The shadows deepened around the pathetic little flag. The light from our tiny window disappeared, opening the way for shadows. Naomi picked up one of my candles and lit it with a match, then placed it in front of me.
“Feel like talking?” she finally asked.
I shook my head, still refusing to look her in the eyes.
She placed a hand on my shoulder and stood back up slowly, using my shoulder for support. “Well, don’t sulk here too long, girl. I’m here if you need an ear.” She turned to walk away. “And for the record, you got him good. He sure as hell deserved that.” I glanced up at her face and saw a brief smile light up its edges.
I opened my mouth to say something, but she turned and walked away before I could fumble for words. I sighed and looked back at my flag. The candlelight flickered against it, making the colors shine bright. I hated it when I found myself fumbling for words then not discovering any at all. At times like this, my vocabulary found itself stuck in a rock tumbler, rolling around and around, never quite going anywhere.
My eyes focused on the flame in front of me. Why didn’t I tell our boss about Matt continuously being late? Had I been scared? That didn’t make sense. There was nothing to be scared of. I think I’d just been lazy, apathetic about a stupid job and a stupid guy I hated working with. I had never considered that Matt thought me a wuss and kept doing it to spite me.
Eventually, my dad poked his way over to me with a tuna sandwich in hand and Simon at his heels. “Thought you might be hungry,” he said, handing me the sandwich and some crackers. “I even put cheese on it.”
I took the food from him and nibbled on a cracker. “Thanks,” I mumbled, looking up at him. He was walking with a cane. “Whose cane is that?”
“Mine. I put in on the list earlier. They just delivered it after your…uh, outburst.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t even noticed the aliens make a delivery. “I thought you couldn’t handle using a cane?” Simon took an immediate interest in my meal and parked his nose between the slices of bread. I sectioned off a chunk so he could enjoy some tuna.
“Whatever helps,” he said, turning to leave. “Marge talked me into it. But it does help.”
“Well, thank you, Dad. For the food.”
“Yep.” He stopped turning for a second, leaning heavily on the cane. “By the way, I was…impressed w
ith how you handled yourself back there. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so angry. I don’t agree with what he said.”
“You don’t think I’ve always searched for the easy way out in life?” I asked him, genuinely curious. I picked at a bread crust on the sandwich in front of me. “Living with Mom after the divorce, going to a stupid community college for two years, changing my major from geology because I couldn’t handle calculus, and getting that chicken job?”
“No. I think you did what you had to. You knew your limitations about your schooling. You knew you had to take care of your mother. You know you have to take care of me…” He paused as though he was considering his words carefully. “You broke it off with Paul before you both got hurt. You chose the hard route when it came to deciding on an ideal…partner.”
I stopped picking at the bread and stared at him through narrowing eyes. “Chose?”
“I’m not having that argument again. You can be so goddamned stubborn, Sam. Chose, followed through with, dedicated yourself to…whatever you want to call it. Feed me after you’re done eating, please.” He started shuffling toward his cot, signaling the end to our conversation.
I sighed as his silhouette disappeared out of range from my puny light source. There my father went again, doing something considerate and then kicking me in the gut with a few careless words. Even when he attempted to choose them with care.
Chapter 9
The following morning, I was awoken earlier than usual to a conversation that sounded like it came from right above my tent. I groaned. Why the hell can’t people let others sleep? I hadn’t fallen asleep until just before dawn because my mind wouldn’t shut the hell up. I needed some fucking alcohol. And a hammer.
“Sam’s had it rough ever since her mother died,” I heard. “She was just out of college when my ex-wife passed away.” My wonderful father. Fantastic. Now I knew who to aim that hammer toward.
“Oh, yeah, that can be pretty rough on a girl.” The other voice was David’s.
“She used to be pretty shy, but she kind of outgrew it after that. It was really a drastic change for her.”
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