by P. W. Davies
Victor stirred, rolling over before Christian could make up his mind.
“Is everything okay?” Victor asked, his voice thick from sleep.
“It’s fine,” Christian said, more to himself than to Victor. Giving into the urge to lie back down, he settled against Victor, head resting on Victor’s shoulder while he draped an arm around Christian. A strange feeling of security wrapped around Christian, a part of him wanting to ease into it and fall asleep again. The way his heart pounded defied that, however. Shutting his eyes, he took a deep breath, his hand lifting tentatively before resting on Victor’s chest.
In danger of being happy. Of all the things he had said to Victor, that had been the most damning.
Thirteen
The sun was just creeping over the horizon when his alarm went off.
Victor reached blindly to hit his phone, assuming it was where he normally placed it next to his bed. When he didn’t find it on the first try, he muttered a few choice words and groped along the surface of the nightstand. Finally, his fingertips encountered vibration, and he palmed the device into his hand. One eye squinted open just enough to locate the ‘stop’ button flashing on the display.
The quiet was blissful after the violence of being woken up. Taking a deep breath, Victor began his mental morning routine. The alarm going off this early meant it was a workday. That meant he needed to rise and put on an outfit for jogging. Considering the resistance that his mind was offering to the idea of being awake, he considered whether to skip protein in favor of caffeine.
It was when the other person in bed snuggled closer to him that his eyes flew wide open, no longer groggy.
For a moment he was thrown into cognitive dissonance. Beverly? No. It was the stubble against his shoulder that brought him fully into the present, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Christian.
The last time he’d woken up beside the other man, Victor had snuck out of bed to deal with being summoned by Nathan. It had already been late in the morning, and he hadn’t known what to expect from the man who he shared his first full-fledged homosexual experience with. Christian had been dead to the world asleep, so Victor dressed in relative silence, both hoping Christian would wake up while being continually relieved with each moment that passed without it happening. Victor had been inspired to leave a note before consummating his departure, so there was something more personal than a text waiting for Christian when he woke.
He wondered what he should do this time, but Christian was intent on saving him from the decision.
Blue eyes flicked open, as though sensing he was being watched. The small expressions that flicked across Christian’s face as he registered his own details about where he’d woken were numerous and varied. Victor smiled in reassurance. “Good morning.”
“I reject the idea that mornings are good,” Christian mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. He closed his eyes in protest and then seemed to catch himself. “Apologies. I think I drooled on you.”
Victor laughed, lifting his eyes heavenward as he wondered at the myriad of feelings tumbling through him. “I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you.”
“I can make it up to you. Again.” Bringing his gaze back down, Victor saw mischief in Christian’s gaze.
His skin buzzed at realizing what Christian was alluding to. Part of his mind objected, listing all the things he was supposed to be doing in the morning before work. When Christian’s hand dipped beneath the sheet covering the two of them, though, Victor soundly decided that giving up his ritual would be worth it.
He’d been limp when Christian’s fingertips skimmed down his stomach, but by the time his touch had reached Victor’s hip, his cock was stirring awake in its own way.
Victor licked his lips.
And then reached down to capture Christian’s wrist. “No.”
A form of hurt flashed across Christian’s expression. His heart ached at seeing the wounded look he hadn’t meant to inspire, so he dipped his chin and quickly captured Christian’s mouth with his. For a moment, Victor thought Christian was going to pull away. He pressed forward more, trying to tell Christian that he hadn’t meant he didn’t want to be touched. I just want to touch you.
Letting go of Christian, Victor moved his hand onto Christian’s side and laid his palm flat against the other man’s skin. Christian shivered beneath the touch and that seemed to be the last piece he needed to understand why Victor had said ‘no’. Victor felt Christian deepen the kiss, teasing the tip of his tongue at the crease of Victor’s mouth. He let him in, and the two lost themselves into hungry kisses, tongues slick against each other, and moans swallowed into captured breaths.
All the while, Victor kept his hand sliding downward, over Christian’s side, pressing against the curve of his hip. And finally, when he needed to catch his breath, he pulled his mouth away and pushed. Christian took the hint and rolled onto his back. “We don’t –”
“Hush. I know. I want something else.”
Christian had been trying to tell him they’d used the condom he’d brought. And the lube, too. Not having more meant there were things that they shouldn’t try to do, and Victor had considered all of that while they’d kissed.
He’d also decided on what he wanted instead.
Rolling so he pressed against Christian’s side, Victor kissed along the edge of his jaw and down his neck. The dragon tattoo became a map of where to kiss and lick while his hand teased at the inside of Christian’s hip. His fingers found Christian’s cock – hard, already, which sent a thrill up his spine – at the same time he brought his lips down to Christian’s shoulder. It wasn’t until the first stroke paired with the next kiss on Christian’s chest that the other man started to realize what Victor intended.
“You don’t –”
“I want to.” Victor paused what he was doing long enough to look into Christian’s eyes.
He saw fear. And desire. A dueling cacophony of emotions that seemed to be saying, Don’t stop, while also screaming, I’m not ready.
A surge of emotion surprised Victor. He wanted – needed – to silence that fear. And he wanted – needed – to show Christian that he could give him what he needed in return. Holding Christian’s gaze, he could only place a few more kisses on the other man’s skin as he slid himself down the bed. The expression in them didn’t change, aside from a burst of desire that accompanied Christian’s cock pulsing in his hand. It was an anticipation, and Victor could well imagine what was inspiring Christian’s body to behave that way.
Victor tore his eyes away from Christian’s in favor of looking at his goal. A thrill of nerves hit him, but he knew what he wanted to do Let’s see if we can manage this without fouling it up. Mouth level with Christian’s cock, Victor stroked once, twice more before leaning his face over Christian’s groin. The other man didn’t move, didn’t speak, and Victor wondered if he was holding his breath.
Going down on women was something he’d learned to be good at. It was a perk, after all, the fact that they could orgasm more than once during an evening. Some women liked it more than others, and sometimes Victor did it just as a warm up to sex. Beverly’s opinion had fluctuated depending on her mood. Women, though, were not this.
Licking his lips, he kept his mouth open and moved forward, pressing his tongue against the head of Christian’s cock. The taste hit him, and Victor had to wonder at the differences. He was not entirely a stranger to it, but admittedly he’d only dared taste his own come a handful of times over the years. This was very, very different.
Deciding it was now or never, Victor opened his mouth wider and took Christian in.
Or, tried to.
Inexperienced, he hadn’t realized just how wide he would have to open. Christian let out a soft swear word as Victor’s teeth got too close, and his hips arched back, pulling the sensitive skin away from unpleasant contact. “Love, you might want to –”
“Wider, I know. Let me try that again.”
Whether or not that
was what Christian intended, it was exactly what Victor did. And this time, he got it right. Inches of Christian’s cock slipped past his lips, pursed so that his teeth stayed out of the way. It was awkward, at first, as Victor figured it out. He had to move onto his elbows, and then up to his knees so he could get his mouth in a better position, at a better angle.
But within the span of a minute, Victor had gained confidence. Settling into a rhythm, he was entirely focused on the weight against his tongue, at how deep he dared to take Christian in. When Christian’s hand landed on the back of his head, Victor had a moment of panic, wondering if he’d be forced down farther than he was comfortable. But no, Christian seemed to just need something to hold on to. A point of contact other than the warmth of Victor’s mouth. Victor understood and didn’t fight it. It didn’t take long before he started to realize that his jaw might get tired if he kept at it too long. So, Victor sped up and pressed his tongue more firmly against the warm girth.
He was so focused on the feel, the taste, the way Christian’s hips had started bucking to aide in the movement, that he didn’t hear the first warning.
“Love, if you don’t want – I can’t… You’re going to –”
It was the second warning and the outright strain in Christian’s voice that finally got past the blood rushing in Victor’s ears.
“– Last… warning… fuck… Victor –”
Hearing that tone, Victor’s cock ached. Feeling daring, and thinking he had a little more time, Victor plunged his mouth down farther than he’d dared thus far.
Three things happened at once.
Christian called out. His hand knotted in Victor’s hair sending ripples of erotic sensation over his scalp. And Christian came.
The first spurt hit the back of Victor’s throat. He hadn’t been expecting it to be so forceful and he froze. Christian’s hips bucked again, and a second burst made his cheeks swell. Making a quick decision, Victor brought his hand up and grabbed Christian’s cock firmly as he pulled his mouth away. Firm strokes kept the other man’s orgasm going while Victor had to decide what to do with the liquid in his mouth.
As unflattering as it might have been, he opted for using his free hand to lift the bedsheet to his mouth, so he could get rid of most of it. Victor didn’t want to think about how risky that had been and realized that there were a few other things he’d need to talk to Christian about. Before those sorts of practical thoughts could damper the moment, though, Victor reconnected to the sight of the man in front of him.
Back arched, cock pulsing another few ropes of come, Christian was the entirety of Victor’s world.
His breaths were shallow and quick as he finished. Victor coaxed him along until Christian groaned in objection. Chuckling, Victor released his hold on Christian’s cock in favor of moving up the bed and laying along his side, brushing light kissed over Christian’s shoulder as he settled next to him.
Christian surprised him by rolling over and slamming their mouths together.
Oh. He’s – Victor couldn’t hold the thought together until Christian pulled away. That wasn’t just a thank you.
When Christian’s eyes opened, Victor was even more certain.
He was staring, trying to figure out what to say in response to the open windows in Christian’s eyes. Words conjured and rejected in less than a heartbeat, the silence was both damning and comforting. Victor was about to open his mouth when he saw a curtain fall across Christian’s expression. Christian lifted a hand and pressed two fingers against Victor’s lips, silencing whatever he was about to say.
Without thinking, Victor yanked his head back, dislodging Christian’s fingers. “Whatever you just told yourself about me, about this, you don’t need to do that. I want you, Christian.” Victor sat up, looking down at Christian tangled in the mess of sheets they’d created last night and just now. “And if this is because you’re looking into one of my coworkers, I don’t care.”
That got Christian’s attention. For a moment, Victor thought he was angry. “You can’t know that.”
Victor gave Christian a look that said, I see a lot more than you give me credit for. ”I know what private investigators do. The only reason I didn’t suss it out after the second time I saw you was because you acted as though you didn’t recognize me, and I wondered if I’d been mistaken. But the lounge?” Victor raised an eyebrow, daring Christian to refute him. “You said you weren’t following me. Me. Implying you were following someone else.”
Christian had pushed himself to a sitting position, so he could better look Victor in the eyes. “And how would you know what private investigators do?” he asked.
“You wouldn’t be the first one someone has employed. Besides, it’s obvious that,” Victor gestured at the intersecting scars crossing Christian’s torso, “Wasn’t from a life spent in an office building. Or in retail.”
Christian sucked in a breath and looked away.
Victor stood.
Christian followed, as though to stop him. Victor looked at him gently, with a hint of amusement. “I need to go home and get a change of clothing before work.”
Understanding flashed in the other man’s expression. Then a hint of daring. “Does this mean I can see you again?”
“On one condition.”
Christian tensed, almost as though expecting a blow. “Name it.”
Victor wondered at the reaction but dismissed it. “I’m not going to help you. Whatever you need, whoever you need it from, you don’t get to use me, or the fact that we’re sleeping together to do your job.”
There was a moment of hesitation. Just enough that a frown played across Victor’s brow. Christian saw it and his expression softened. “I might have been considering it.”
The confession sounded like a man asking for understanding. And forgiveness. Victor considered. “But you haven’t?”
“No opportunities yet.”
Victor studied Christian, weighing the words. “Promise me that you won’t? Or do we need to end things here?”
A pang of something flashed across Christian’s expression. Victor wasn’t certain what exactly had caused it, but he felt responsible. Still, he needed Christian’s word. He probably should ask for more than that, to be honest, but he’d worry about that later.
If there was a later.
Christian answered, “I won’t use our connection to finish my job.”
The words had weight and Victor heard it. He couldn’t help the relief, or the grin, that overtook him. Moving forward a step, he kissed Christian soundly, happily.
“Good,” he said, once he pulled away, enjoying the dazed look he’d left on Christian. “Now, I really do have to go home. Evie has already been giving me enough sass about my behavior, I don’t need a day-old-suit added to the weaponry.”
This time, Christian didn’t stop him.
When they said goodbye, it was with the promise that they’d be in touch soon.
Victor left with wings beneath his feet.
The morning had been the best part of the day.
Lunchtime came and went, but Victor hadn’t tasted a bite of what he ate. To be honest the only reason he had anything resembling food in the first place was Evie. She had handed him a sandwich after asking what had crawled up his ass sometime between one and two in the afternoon.
He probably wouldn’t have eaten any of it if she hadn’t stood over him watching. Which of course also gave her time to relate what she’d been finding.
“I’ve been swimming in past memos between Jeffries and Harper. Sharon Madigan cc’ed on more than one. No one is happy and hasn’t been for the past two weeks. I saw Nathan this morning for a quick check in and he is going out of his mind trying to keep up with Shaw’s demands, which he has to do alone while you, Samuel, and I finish sorting out the coup d’état that’s going on at Bechtel.”
“I have a dinner date with Sharon tonight. She wasn’t able to see me any sooner,” Victor offered after he swallowed. Evie refused to say mo
re until he took another bite.
“Are you sure that you didn’t put her off for dinner with Mr. Mysterious?”
Victor looked at her sharply. She looked apologetic and said, “I know better. This would just be easier if there was someone to be cross with. Drama bores me.”
“Stupid drama bores you,” Victor replied. Something she’d said made him frown. “It does seem out of character for a group like this, doesn’t it?”
“I keep having that thought, too. But then here we are.” Evie sat back in her chair, resting her arm on the elbow rest so she could cradle her chin in one hand. “It’s like they want to fight.”
“Hopefully Sharon can be enlightening as to why.”
Victor was going to follow up that comment but a body outside his door caught his attention.
He looks terrible, was his first thought. It made him feel guilty but that didn’t make it less true. Nathan looked like he hadn’t slept all night. Even his hair wasn’t as impeccable as it usually was. Victor’s concern steadily increased with each detail he took note of until he looked into Nathan’s eyes.
Strong, resilient. The man had been working himself to the bone, but he was doing so with a goal in mind.
“Good. I needed to speak to both of you. Can we get Samuel in here, too?”
“Sadly, he is at a lunch meeting with Mr. Harper,” Victor said. “Or at least that was what Martin told me when I asked.”
Nathan sighed, looking like one more weight had just been added to his shoulders. “I really wish Samuel would have Caroline schedule his meetings. Martin was only doing it for expediency on the last case we worked on and hasn’t said anything about it being a continuing thing.”
Evie looked toward him. “Not to dismiss that, but I think we can worry about Martin’s secretarial infidelity later.”
“Right, of course.” Nathan stepped further into Victor’s office and closed the door behind him. “I need you two to get Jeffries and Madigan on the same page.”
