by Raquel Belle
The school was mostly empty when she arrived at 8:00 to set up. Rhonda and Harry were off that day, so it was just Hayley in the building as she placed the handmade cards around the room, put the flowers in a vase she found in her closet, and sealed the envelope with the art show tickets. The cake went on display at her desk on a cake stand she’d borrowed from her neighbor Marie, who ran her own home baking business.
Hayley hadn’t baked a cake since the previous year’s bake sale, and she was a bit worried that she’d done something wrong. The batter had tasted delicious prior to going in the oven to bake, but the final product was leaning to the left, and the icing was runnier than it was supposed to be. Marie had given her the recipe and loaned her a few of the harder to find ingredients like almond extract and pineapple juice. Hayley trusted Marie’s expertise—not only did she sell cakes and cookies from her apartment, but she also held baking classes at the local community college, so Hayley was hoping that even if the cake didn’t look good, it at least tasted nice.
Fishing her phone from her purse, Hayley checked her texts with James. He still hadn’t responded to her text, or even read it, but maybe that was because he’d seen it pop up on his screen this morning. That was a perfectly plausible explanation. She’d done that a million times, read someone’s text when it popped up as a notification but forgotten to read it or respond in her inbox. There was no reason to think that James was standing her up.
Yet as the clock ticked slowly first to 8:30 and then to 9:00, Hayley began to get worried. Maybe he was stuck in traffic—he usually biked to school, so it never really took him very long, but maybe there’d been an accident in the bike lane and he’d been held up. Or maybe he was getting coffee at the café. He was probably on his way and would arrive at the exact moment Hayley started fussing with the supply closet or organizing the bookshelves.
But when it was 9:15 and James still hadn’t shown, Hayley was forced to face the facts: he was avoiding her. He’d skipped school because he felt so uneasy about seeing her, and Hayley couldn’t blame him. She quickly took down the cards, stashed them and the tickets in her desk drawer, and brought the cake to the teacher’s lounge, where Andrew and Lydia looked at her incredulously upon laying eyes on it.
“You baked this?” Andrew asked, eyeing the cake where it sat in front of him at the table.
“Yup. Just felt like doing something creative this weekend,” Hayley lied as she poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter. She added two teaspoons of sugar—she needed the comfort of a sweet drink—and left the room as Lydia was using a plastic knife to slice a small piece of cake to try.
Hayley spent the rest of the day in a fog, trying not to think about the fact that she’d forced James to stay home from his job. She was grateful when the bell rang and the kids began filtering out of the classroom, giving their parents eager hugs as they met them in the parking lot for pick-up.
“That cake was amazing,” Kerry told her as she came to stand next to Hayley at the school entrance to watch the kids leave.
“Really? Thanks,” Hayley said absent-mindedly.
“What was the occasion? I know you didn’t just bake it on a whim. You made those brownies for last year’s bake sale from a box, and you made me do all the mixing,” Kerry joked.
“Guess,” Hayley said, turning to look at Kerry. Her mascara had faded throughout the day, and she now looked drawn and sad and in desperate need of a nap.
“Oh no, what happened? When you left on Friday night, I assumed it was because you and James went home together.”
“What do you mean? Didn’t he stay at the bar?” Hayley had assumed that James had stayed after she left, having a few more beers with their colleagues before calling it a night. Of course, if she were in his shoes, she would have hightailed it out of there as soon as the word “mistake” was uttered, but then again, James was infinitely more cool and level-headed then she was.
“No… you both left at pretty much the same time. I saw you grab your stuff, and then he ran after you. Didn’t you see him when you went outside?”
“Um, no. I grabbed the first cab I saw and then came home. And then…” Hayley explained the whole night to Kerry, and Kerry looked more and more shocked as she continued.
“Oh my god! What an asswipe! What a fucking dipshit! The nerve, to do it in your apartment on your bed! Please tell me you changed the sheets afterward.”
“Oh yeah, Tina helped me.” Kerry looked confused at the mention of Eric’s ex-girlfriend.
“Wait, who’s Tina?”
“His ex-girlfriend. She’s really cool, actually. I think you’d like her. Anyway, we had a long chat, and she helped me devise a plan to get James back, but then he called in sick today, so obviously he never wants to speak to me again…”
Kerry wrapped her arm around Hayley’s shoulder and hugged her to her side. “Jesus. No wonder you didn’t answer any of my text messages. You had one hell of a weekend. Are you still up for the book signing tonight?”
“Book signing? What book signing?” Hayley asked, looking confused.
“The one I told you about months ago? The new picture book that famous actor is putting out? We were going to get copies, charge it to the school’s account, and read them to the kids this week in the auditorium?”
Recognition sparked in Hayley’s eyes, and she slapped her forehead. “Oh my God, I completely forgot!”
“It’s fine, we don’t have to go. You need a night to yourself.”
“No, no, let’s go. I want to spend some time with you, and we need a night of not talking about men. None of our conversations lately would have passed the Bechtel test.”
Kerry laughed. “Untrue! We talked about the merits of cotton lingerie for at least half an hour on Friday night while we got ready.”
Hayley gave her a joking glare. “You’re right, you’re right. Let’s go talk about children’s literature,” Kerry said, and motioned for them to head back inside.
***
“Am I right in thinking he’s gotten hair plugs?” Kerry whispered in Hayley’s ear as the actor spoke about the process of writing his first children’s book. Hayley snorted, then covered her mouth, avoiding the eyes of a few of the book signing attendees who had turned to glare at her.
The book itself was about a hippopotamus named Robert who gets lost on his way back home to Africa after escaping from the Chicago Zoo. The plot was very reminiscent of Madagascar, but that wouldn’t matter to Hayley and Kerry’s kindergarteners. They loved any book with bright colors, and funny animals, so this one would definitely be a hit, even if it was nearing plagiarism.
After getting their books signed by the suspiciously-quaffed author, Hayley and Kerry headed to a wine bar nearby. They found a table by the wood-burning fireplace and ordered red wine, grilled cheeses, and truffle fries.
“I can’t remember the last time I came to this place. Sam and I used to come here all the time when we first started dating, but ever since she bought the club, we never go out to drink anymore. She always wants to stay home on her nights off,” Kerry said, taking a sip from her wineglass.
“How’s the club doing?” Hayley asked. She’d been there a few times with Kerry, but it was a lesbian dance club, and while it was fun and vibrant and full of great dance acts and good music, it was a bit too loud and crowded for her.
“It’s actually making money, which is a good thing. Sam’s just hired a new dance act, a burlesque team, so she’s spending all her time getting that up to snuff before they debut in June. You should come to the show opening!”
“Sure, why not?” Hayley had never seen a burlesque show, but she’d always been intrigued by them, especially after seeing Chicago last year with her mom when she was visiting. “How’s the masters going? You must be nearly done with your thesis now, right?”
Kerry was working on her Master of Fine Arts at the Art Institute of Chicago. She was doing it part-time and mostly at night, so it was taking her longer than s
he would have liked, but she was hoping to apply for the arts director position at Brightside when the current director retired next fall, and she knew the masters would seriously improve her credentials.
“It’s okay. I’m stuck on one section right now, but most of my portfolio is done. I have two paintings left and I should be able to submit in May, if I get my ass into gear and stop streaming reruns of Grey’s Anatomy when I get home from work.”
Their waiter brought their food, and they both tucked in, silent as they devoured the perfectly buttery sandwiches and crisp, salty fries. The wine bar had one of the best dessert menus in the city, so Kerry convinced Hayley to split a slice of chocolate fudge cake with her.
“I’ve already had cake once today, and I had sugar in my coffee. Any more and I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight,” Hayley said after Kerry placed the dessert order with the waiter.
“Please, you’re not a five-year-old. You can handle an extra slice of cake. And besides, after the day you’ve had, you need it.”
Hayley smiled at Kerry and took a massive bite. “God, this is so good. Way better than my carrot cake.”
Kerry shrugged. “Yeah, but they’ve had time to perfect their recipe. I think you should be proud of yourself for that cake. Maybe now that Eric is out of the picture you could explore some hobbies. You never know—you might end up qualifying for that baking show on the Food Network. And you could bring all your creations into work. Everyone would definitely appreciate it more than the stale donuts and cookies that are always lurking around that kitchen.”
“Maybe,” Hayley said, twirling her fork in some of the fudge sauce on the side of the plate.
“Because you’re not going to rush into anything with James or someone else, right?” Kerry said, leaning in and taking the fork out of Hayley’s hand.
“I just… I just don’t want to be alone,” Hayley muttered, avoiding Kerry’s eye contact.
“I know, but I think it’ll be good for you. You can’t jump from one relationship to the next just because you’re afraid of never finding anyone. It’s a recipe for never actually figuring out who you are or what you want.”
Hayley looked up at Kerry. “So you’re saying that I shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble today for James.”
“I’m saying that maybe him calling in sick was a sign that you need to focus on you for a little while. And if you’re lonely, you can hang out with me and Sam.”
Hayley picked up her wine glass and lifted it into the air. “Okay. To being single and carefree!” she said, clinking her glass with Kerry’s.
“Here here!” Kerry shouted, causing a few heads to turn in their direction. She and Hayley dissolved into giggles and finished the rest of the cake. They shared a cab home, with Kerry dropped off first. “Get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? And don’t worry about whether or not James is coming in. I’ll get there early so I can hang out with you regardless.”
“Thanks, Kerry,” Hayley said, kissing her friend on the cheek and waving to her as she exited the cab.
After Kerry left, Hayley turned her phone off its silent setting and looked at her text messages. She had a few texts from her mom, asking her if she wanted to talk on the phone that weekend, one from Tina inviting her to a concert the following Friday, but none from James. Maybe it was for the best.
Chapter Ten
James called in sick again on Tuesday and Wednesday, so Dan helped Hayley out with her lessons. She hadn’t heard any more from him, but three days in a row off work indicated that maybe he hadn’t just been avoiding seeing her. Her suspicions were confirmed on Wednesday when Dan left the lunch table in the kitchen to take a phone call. When he came back, it was to tell Hayley that James had just been to the doctor.
“He’s down with double pneumonia, the poor guy. He told me he started feeling a bit off on Saturday. I assumed it was just a hangover and told him to get some rest and drink some water. I feel awful. He’s been all alone, home sick with no one to take care of him. I think I’m going to drive over to his place after school and take him back with me to the house. I can’t let him stay by himself when he’s that ill.”
Hayley nodded. While she was sad that James was out sick, a small part of her was leaping for joy that he hadn’t skipped school on her account.
“Can I help with anything? I could get him some soup at that deli down the street, or pick up his medicine if he needs it?”
Dan thought for a moment before responding. “Could you stay with him tonight? Lucy and I have a dinner with her colleagues that we can’t get out of. It’s their annual fundraiser and Lucy’s the presenter. It would just be a few hours, just making sure he has enough water and soup and isn’t trying to overexert himself.”
“Sure!” This was the perfect opportunity to make amends with him. James wouldn’t be able to escape her—it sounded like he was way too sick to run away, so he’d have to listen to her apology. Even after the talk she’d had with Kerry, Hayley still couldn’t rest easy knowing that she and James were on the rocks. She’d spent a few sleepless nights tossing and turning, rehashing their kiss and the stupid, stupid way she’d left him at the bar. She tried desperately to keep her imagination from furthering the kiss, imaging what James would feel like against her, their bodies pressing close as they traded hot, wet kisses. She’d had to touch herself more than once to ease her need, and afterwards had lain in her bed, her vibrator buzzing noisily beside her, feeling lonely and bereft. Hayley wasn’t used to having the bed to herself. For as much of an asshole as he was, Eric was good at cuddling, and she missed being wrapped up tight in someone else’s arms. Hugging her stuffed animals and making a makeshift man out of pillows to cuddle just wasn’t the same.
But she couldn’t keep thinking of James and his sexual potential. She had to focus on friendship with him for now, because as much as she hated to admit it, she could see now that rushing into something with him, so soon after she’d broken up with Eric, was a bad idea. But she did need his friendship. He was such a good person to talk to, and, realistically, they had to make up if they had any hope of working cooperatively for the rest of the school year.
***
After school, Hayley bundled herself against the cold and walked toward the deli to get soup for James. She was going to meet Dan in the parking lot at 4:30 so he could drive her to his house. When she’d told Kerry of her plans, Kerry had looked skeptical. ““You’re suddenly very altruistic, aren’t you?” was her response when Hayley had mentioned that she’d be spending the evening at Dan’s caring for a sick and ailing James.
“I promise I’m not going over there to try and make him my boyfriend. I just want to apologize to him. He’s my teaching assistant, after all, and I don’t want things to be awkward between us for the rest of term. I can’t afford for Jimmy to pull the chair out from under another student. It set him and Billy back weeks in their progress.”
Kerry rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine, but I expect at least three updates tonight assuring me that you have not kissed him. One, because it’ll send the wrong message, and two, because your class can’t afford to have two teachers out sick with pneumonia.”
“I swear. I’ll be a properly behaved young lady. No touching of lips or tangling or tongues.”
Kerry snorted. “Whatever you say.”
The line at the deli was longer than Hayley had expected given the time. Were that many people really buying dinner at 4:30? That was the time that old people and toddlers ate dinner, not regular working adults.
Hayley stood on her tiptoes to see what was holding up the line. At the front was none other than Eric. Great, she thought. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since the previous Friday night. She’d boxed up the clothes, books, and toiletries he’d left at her place on Saturday and dropped them off with his secretary, who’d looked puzzled when Hayley had come in. “Who are you, exactly?” she’d asked.
“Eric’s ex-girlfriend. Hayley,” was Hayley’s response, but the
secretary’s puzzled look didn’t dissipate.
“Not Tina? I thought he was still dating Tina…” was the secretary’s response.
Hayley waved her off, giving her a sarcastic smile before slamming the entry door open so hard it cracked against the brick siding of the building. She’d calmed down slightly since then regarding Eric and his asshatery, but that didn’t mean she wanted to see him, especially not in public.
It was just her luck that the moment she turned around to leave the deli and find somewhere else on the street to get soup, Eric finally finished paying, turned from the counter, and spotted her.
“Hayley!” he shouted. Everyone in line in front of Hayley turned to look at her. A couple entered the door just as she was grasping the handle, and so she was forced to let them through, which gave Eric enough time to catch up with her.
“I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all weekend. Didn’t you get my texts? My calls?”
“I’ve had a busy weekend. I dropped your stuff off at your office. Did your secretary tell you?” Hayley asked. She looked up into Eric’s face and found him looking worn out. His hair was messy, not in its usually carefully brushed coif, and his shirt was wrinkled. There were dark circles ringing his under-eye area, and a small, yellow stain dotted his collar. Hayley was secretly pleased that he wasn’t faring well. He deserved to have it a little rough after what he’d done to her.
Eric nodded. “Yeah, I got it. Thanks. I would’ve happily picked it up, you know. I could’ve dropped by your place today.”
“I told you I’d send it, and I did.”
Eric balked at Hayley’s clipped tone. “Look, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I fucked up, really bad, but I did really love you. Do really love you. But I know I need to get my shit together. Do you think… is there any way that, you know, after I see a counselor for a while, you’d be willing to try again? Give us another shot?”
