by Lynn, JB
“I’m hungry,” Armani said.
“Me too,” Griswald said.
“Too me!” DeeDee barked.
Instead of saying anything, Piss wound herself between his legs, silently begging for that perfect pour of cream that only he could do.
“Omelets?” Templeton offered.
“Yes, please,” Armani said.
“Not for me,” I said, getting to my feet. “I have someplace to be.”
“You’re skipping breakfast?” Templeton asked. “Tsk tsk.”
I left them talking about the party preparations and went to get dressed.
“I think we should bring Benny,” God announced as soon as I walked into the room.
“To the party?”
“To the dentist’s office,” the lizard said.
“Because you’re expecting trouble?”
“Armani is expecting trouble,” he said, waving his tail for emphasis. “She’s rarely wrong.”
“So you keep saying,” I said as I pulled on a pair of jeans. “Fine. Benny, do you want to come along?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” the little white mouse squeaked excitedly.
I finished getting dressed, applied even more hand lotion, and, taking Benny and God with me, hurried out to the car.
“Too me,” DeeDee insisted, blocking my path.
“You’d have to wait in the car,” I told her. “You can’t come inside where I’m going.”
“Too me,” she insisted.
“You’re not leaving me behind, either,” Piss meowed crossly from behind her.
“Shotgun!” DeeDee barked.
Chuckling, I allowed them to accompany us, figuring it was cool enough to safely wait in the car with the window open.
“Maybe I can make it there without anyone stopping us,” I muttered as I pulled the car toward the end of the driveway. I didn’t even reach the end before he jumped in front of my car.
“Ugh!” I groaned. I put the car into park and rolled down my window. “What?” I asked impatiently.
“Are we okay?” Patrick Mulligan asked.
“We’re fine,” I told him.
“Because I was kind of a jerk the other night.”
“Not kind of,” I corrected. “You were.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just that sometimes… I get a little jealous.”
“You gave up the right to be jealous when you cheated on me,” I reminded him.
He hung his head. “You’re right.”
“I have someplace to be, Patrick,” I told him.
“Be careful, Mags,” he said. Then, he stepped away from my car. I rolled up the window and drove away.
“Apology apology apology,” Benny announced.
“Yes,” the lizard said from the dashboard. “We heard him.”
We drove the rest of the way to the dentist’s office arguing about whether I should understand Patrick’s jealousy and forgive him.
“It’s not like I was walking around carrying a grudge,” I concluded as I pulled into the lot. Dr. Dello’s car was already there.
Rolling down the windows, I reminded the cat and dog, “Stay here.”
“Hand lotion,” God cried as I reached for the handle of the door to let myself out of the vehicle.
I rolled my eyes but figured it was quicker to just humor him rather than to argue. I slathered on a bunch.
“Flowers, flowers, flowers!” Benny squeaked happily.
“I think I miss the dog’s sentences,” God groaned.
Once my hands were properly slathered in rose, I headed inside. The front door was unlocked. “Dr. Dello?” I called out. He didn’t respond.
I made my way to his office, trying to ignore how creeped out I was feeling. Surely he wouldn’t do anything to harm me, considering how everybody knew that we were going to be here together. Still, I put Benny down on the floor. “If something happens, distract him,” I whispered to the little mouse.
He wriggled his little whiskers in response. I slowly pushed open the door to Dr. Dello’s office and tried not to think about how all the pairs of glass eyes seemed to be staring at me. I slipped my earpiece in, hoping that somebody was on the other side. I knew the ninjas were coming, but I hoped that the woman who called herself Eve would warn me that they were on their way. Since I didn’t see the doctor, I moved toward the back corner of the office and stared at the diploma that hid the safe.
God, standing on my shoulder, poked my cheek with his tail.
“Quit it,” I whispered quietly.
“Maggie,” he said tentatively.
“Not now,” I whispered.
“You need to see this,” he whispered back.
“See what?”
“Turn around.”
I turned slowly and that’s when I saw him. Dr. Dello, his head bleeding, was lying on the floor. Very, very still.
36
“Oh no,” I groaned.
“Say something so that whoever’s listening in knows what’s going on,” God whispered in my ear.
“Oh,” I said stiltedly. “It would appear that Dr. Dello is either unconscious or dead on the floor of his office.”
“Smooth,” God muttered.
I bent down to check on the medical status of the good dentist.
“He’s breathing,” I said with relief.
“Not for long,” a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned in the direction of it and saw something arcing through the air toward my head. I tried to duck. But failed. Everything went dark.
“Wake up,” God insisted. “Wake up, Maggie.”
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been unconscious, but I had to struggle to open my eyes. I realized I was on the floor of the office with the head of a deer looming above me. Instinctively, I tried to roll away from it and realized that my arms were secured over my head.
It took me a second to figure out that my hands had been tied together with Lynette’s headscarf and attached to the leg of the desk. Hearing a noise over my shoulder, I strained to see what was going on. Lynette was rummaging through the contents of the safe. I noted that she was wearing Latex gloves.
I heard Dr. Dello groan. Lynette spun around at the sound and realized that I had regained consciousness.
“You’ve ruined everything,” she told me angrily.
“You can’t hold me prisoner here,” I told her, hoping that Eve or whoever the person on the other end of the earpiece was, would hear what was going on and send in the cavalry.
“Don’t worry,” Lynette said with an evil grin. “You won’t be here long.”
Something in her tone made a chill run down my spine. “What are you doing?”
“Well, I’m framing Dr. Dello for murder,” she said with a grin. “Sure, some of this will be destroyed in the fire, but I’m imagining that the teeth in this metal safe,” she knocked on it for emphasis, “will survive. They’ll find both your bodies, realize that Dello was trying to kill you and something went wrong, and then realize that he is a serial killer.”
I blinked at her.
“Oh, she’s crazier than most of the people that you deal with,” God murmured in my ear. I didn’t disagree with his assessment.
“Why are you framing him for murder?” I asked, trying to buy myself some time.
“Because behind every good dentist is a great dental technician,” she said, repeating the button that she wore on her lanyard. “He never appreciated me.”
“That’s why you killed people?” I asked. While I talked to her, I twisted my hands this way and that, trying to get free of the scarf that bound them. The pressure hurt, but I had the distinct impression that I was making progress. All of Armani’s insistence about the lotion had made my hands slippery.
“It was an outlet for my frustrations,” Lynette told me matter-of-factly. “I only killed his most annoying patients.”
She pulled out a lighter and picked up a file that was on the dentist’s desk. “Don’t worry,” she said to me. “The smoke
inhalation will probably kill you before the fire ever reaches you.”
Flicking the lighter, she lifted the flame toward the corner of the folder.
“You’re going to burn us alive?” I asked, trying to convey to Eve how desperate the situation was.
Lynette set the file on fire and then placed it on the carpet, which began to smoke.
“Help!” I began to yell, squirming wildly. “Where are the ninjas? I need help! Help!”
Lynette stepped over the doctor’s still-prone body on her way out of the office. With everything I had, I swung my legs in the direction of her feet, managing to trip her. She fell with a heavy thud.
“Help!” I kicked at her, trying to keep her down, not wanting her to escape. At the same time, I pulled wildly at the scarf, trying to free myself. Gritting my teeth against the pain I twisted against the fabric.
“You meddling little—” Lynette raged. Grabbing the toothy bookend, she raised it overhead, seemingly intent on smashing my skull with it.
“Leave her alone! Leave her alone! Leave her alone!” Benny squeaked, running up the woman’s torso. Startled, she tried desperately to knock the little screaming white mouse off of her.
Miraculously, I got one hand free from the scarf, which allowed me to roll out of her path as she brought the bookend down with a crashing thud.
“Maggie!” I could hear DeeDee barking. “Is coming help!”
I appreciated the dog’s sentiment, but I knew that help was not going to come. At least, not soon enough. The dog would never get into the building.
“Tackle! Tackle! Tackle!” Benny urged.
Realizing that the mouse was right, I had to go on the offensive. Pulling my other hand free, I threw myself at Lynette. We rolled around on the floor, struggling to get the upper hand against each other.
“Hang on, Sugar,” Piss meowed loudly through the window. “Help is here.”
It didn’t feel like help was there, as Lynette pinned me to the ground and wrapped her hands around my neck. I wasn’t going to die of smoke inhalation or the fire. She was going to strangle me.
I fought back, desperately trying to hit her anywhere, eyes, nose, throat, but I couldn’t get any leverage to deliver a good blow. I wondered how many people she’d killed and if this had been her preferred method of murder.
“You ruined everything!” She jerked me off the ground and slammed my head down onto the floor. I saw stars and found it hard to focus. Armani had been right. I was in danger.
“Fingers!” I heard God calling softly. “The word was fingers.”
If I’d been able to speak, I would have told him that I’d figured out the connection the moment she started strangling the life out of me with hers. But I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t get air, I was growing weaker every moment.
“Bite her fingers, Benny,” God urged.
Bless the little mouse, he did exactly as the lizard said. He ran up and I could see him sink his tiny teeth into Lynette’s finger. Startled, she gave a yelp and let go. I was ready. I drove my fist straight up into her nose, sending blood spurting.
“Gross,” God complained from far away.
I reached out and grabbed the fallen bookend and swung it at my attacker’s head. I missed. I’m really not very good at this assassin stuff.
That’s when the ninjas swept in. They pulled her away from me, and two yanked me to my feet, dragging me out of the smoke-filled room.
“God!” I called.
“We’re right behind you, Maggie,” the lizard assured me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that God was riding on Benny’s back and both were racing out of the fiery room.
“The dentist,” I said to the ninjas.
Even though their faces were covered, one said, “We’ve got him.”
They dragged me out the back door of the building and left me, bent over, gasping for air. Once I’d recovered a bit, I realized that Dr. Dello was lying on the ground beside me. The ninjas were gone. Police sirens were approaching.
37
“Breathe, Betty,” a familiar voice said from nearby.
I turned and found that Missy, wringing her hands together nervously, was staring at me, wide-eyed.
“What are you doing here?” I gasped out.
“I was worried that you were going to be here alone with Dr. Dello, so I figured I would just pretend to stop by. I heard you calling for help.”
I blinked, wondering if she’d also heard me calling for the ninjas.
DeeDee and Pissed stood behind her, watching our exchange worriedly. It looked like God and Benny were whispering to them.
“I called the police,” Missy said.
“Thank you,” I said, realizing that she had done the thing that I was supposed to do.
“That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” she asked with a tentative smile.
I nodded.
She looked down at the unconscious dentist. “Is he okay?”
I shrugged. “I really don’t know.”
A pair of emergency medical technicians pushed past us to tend to the fallen man.
“I’ll take your statements,” another familiar voice said.
I looked around for the source, not believing that I was going to see the person that I did.
“This way,” a tall woman with sparkling dark eyes said, waving for Missy and me to follow her. I looked at her police uniform, knowing that it couldn’t be real. I was finally standing face-to-face with Eve.
“I’ll do you, first,” she said to Missy. “Since you’re the one that called the police.”
“I hope I did the right thing,” Missy said worriedly.
“You absolutely did,” Eve assured her. She led Missy a little further away, indicating that I should wait were I stood.
“That’s her,” I whispered to God, bending down to pick up both him and Benny.
“Her who?” the lizard asked.
“Eve. The woman from the earpiece.”
“She’s bigger than you would expect someone who lives in an earpiece to be,” God joked.
I raised Benny up so that he was at eye level with me. “You saved my life again.”
“Help, help, help.”
“You were a huge help,” I assured him.
Missy waved goodbye and headed to her car as firefighters piled into the building to extinguish the last of the flames. The ambulance had already taken away Dr. Dello. I had no idea what had happened to Lynette.
Eve motioned for me to come over and join her.
“Nice work,” she said as she ushered me into a police car.
When I glanced in the back seat, I realized that Ms. Whitehat was sitting there waiting.
“That did not go as we planned, Ms. Lee,” Whitehat said quietly.
“I’m sorry,” I began to apologize.
She held up her hand to silence me. “No, that was our mistake. Our intelligence was wrong. We were convinced it was the dentist who was the killer.”
“So why not just break into his safe to see if you could find the evidence you were looking for?” I asked curiously.
Whitehat and Eve shared a look. “He has some connections to some powerful people,” Whitehat admitted. “We wanted to make sure of our suspicions before we took any action.”
“But you heard Lynette’s confession?”
She nodded. “You did very well, eliciting it.”
My cell phone buzzed and it took everything I had not to check the message that had come in.
“I’m sorry that this situation turned more dangerous than we’d anticipated,” Whitehat said.
I shrugged. “It’s all part of the job, isn’t it?”
She tilted her head to the side and considered me for a long moment. “You’re my most interesting asset, Ms. Lee.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Get her to her car and get her out of here,” Whitehat told Eve.
The two of us climbed out of the police car, and Eve led me back to mine.
“It was an h
onor to work with you,” the other woman told me.
I glanced up at her, trying to decide if she was teasing me.
“No,” she assured me, as though she knew what I was thinking. “You’re a legend.”
I chuckled. “I doubt that.”
“You’ve worked on some of our biggest and most important missions,” Eve said. “I hope I get to work with you again.”
She extended her hand and I stared down at it.
“Normally, people shake,” she prompted. As I put my hand into hers, she let out a groan. “You should have told me you were hurt.” We both stared down at my swollen, red and bruised hand that I’d torn up trying to escape from the scarf. “I’ll get somebody to take a look at that for you,” she said.
“It’ll be fine,” I told her.
“You might want to—”
I shook my head, silencing her.
“Well,” she said. “Some other time.” Turning, she hurried back toward the police car. I wondered if it was a real one or if it was a dummy that she and Ms. Whitehat had at their disposal.
After opening the door for Piss and DeeDee, I got in the car, put Benny in the cup holder, and God on the dashboard. Then, I pulled out my phone. I had received a text from Griswald saying “Alan Chilton can’t be found”.
I stared at the phone for a long minute. “I bet I can find him,” I mused aloud.
“Do not be late for that party,” God warned. “You barely survived Lynette’s attack. I can’t imagine what Susan might do to you.”
“Okay,” I said. “But there is one stop I have to make.”
38
Having left DeeDee and Piss in the car, I found Alan Chilton exactly where I expected him to be. He was standing at his mother’s grave. What I hadn’t expected was that he was not alone. He was arguing with Cheever. I watched the retired U.S. Marshal and the prime suspect in the deaths of Gabriel and Martinson waving their arms at one another. I wasn’t close enough to hear what they were saying, though.
Crouching down behind a headstone, I pulled out my phone and dialed Griswald. “Please answer, please answer.”
“Thank you for not saying it three times.” God sighed.
