But always in the back of her head was that nagging voice saying she didn’t know the real Ryan Harrison. The steely businessman who’d built a pharmaceutical empire hadn’t done so by being sweet and loving. There were qualities about Ryan Harrison, CEO, she knew he kept hidden from her. Were they finally emerging?
No matter how she looked at it, the lies that had ruled her life for five long years were once again consuming her.
Kate shook her head. “I don’t know what I believe anymore, Simone. I just know I can’t trust him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust what he tells me again.”
***
Ryan ducked into Mitch’s Land Rover. A handful of reporters closed in on them, trying to get a statement. Cameras were thrust against the windows, microphones held out for any sort of comment.
Dropping his head, Ryan rubbed his temples while Mitch pulled away from the police station. He tugged his cell from his pocket and dialed Hannah’s number.
“Ryan, I’m glad you called. The press is hounding me.”
“No comment, Hannah. Get a memo drafted for the employees. No one talks to the press. And I mean no one. Fax it to me at home before you send it out.”
“The press is staked out on your front lawn, Ryan,” Mitch cut in.
“Shit. Fax it to Mitch’s house, Hannah. I’ll be there for a while.”
“Okay,” she said. “Are you finished downtown?”
“For now.” Disgust pooled in his gut at the accusations the detectives had thrown out. “I need you to get me the surveillance tapes from the building garage. Someone used my car last week without my knowledge.”
“I can do that.”
“And Burton may call with information. If he does, reroute it to me.”
“Will do. Ryan?” she asked hesitantly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He shrugged off her concern. “Find Ron Grayson for me as well. I need him on this.”
“I’ll find him. Don’t worry, Ryan.”
Don’t worry. Yeah, right. Like that was possible at this point. He closed the phone. Resting his elbow on the windowsill, he massaged his throbbing head. “Where’s Katie?” he asked without glancing at Mitch.
“Simone’s house.” He hesitated. “Ryan, she knows about McKellen.”
Closing his eyes, he drew in a steadying breath. He could only imagine what was going through that stubborn mind of hers. He should have told her sooner. He shouldn’t have waited.
“What about the kids?” he asked.
“Mom and Dad took them to my place so they wouldn’t have to deal with reporters.”
He nodded. “I need to talk to Katie first.”
“I figured. She’s pissed.”
“Yeah, tell me something I don’t already know.”
“Ryan—”
“Not yet, Mitch. I’ll explain it all after I see Katie.”
When they pulled up in front of Simone’s house, Ryan eased out of the car and jogged up the front steps. Pushing the door open, he saw Simone on the phone. She waved him in. “I’ll have to call you back.” She hung up and glanced from Ryan to Mitch behind him. “I just got off with Hannah Hughes. She’s found Ron Grayson.”
“I’ll call him later.” Ryan glanced around the empty room. “Where’s Katie?”
“Out back.” When he stepped past Simone, she placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. “Ryan, I did the best I could.”
He squeezed her hand. “I know.”
Kate was standing on the edge of the deck, facing away when he eased the door open. One arm was wrapped around her middle; with her other hand, she rubbed that scar on the side of her head, the one she’d gotten when this had all started. Sunlight washed over her, bathing her in shimmering light. His arms ached to hold her; his fingers itched to slide into that mass of chestnut curls and massage away the tension and worry seeping from her body.
He hoped what he wanted and what she needed were the same. Swallowing the fear, he stepped up behind her. “Katie.”
Her green eyes flashed when she whipped around. “You lied to me.”
Fear spread to panic. She’d already made up her mind. He reached for her before she could step back.
“No, don’t,” she growled through clenched teeth, trying to pull away.
“Hold on. Let me explain.”
She swatted at him, pushed hard against his shoulders. “No. No!”
Heartache ripped through her words, tearing at his soul, but he didn’t let go. Couldn’t. He pulled her tight against him.
His name was a strangled whisper from her lips. A sob tore through her. Shaky fingers grasped his face and pulled his mouth to hers. Her kiss tasted of urgency, of hunger, of desperation.
Thought slipped out of his mind as he kissed her back. This was all he needed. Just her, for the rest of his life. He could face any challenge as long as she was with him. As long as she believed in him—in them—they could get through anything.
“No,” she mumbled against his mouth. Her hands rushed down to his chest, pushing against him. Tears slipped from her eyes as her mouth broke free. “No! Don’t. Don’t touch me!”
An icy rush of air washed over him when she pushed out of his arms. “Babe—”
She held out a hand to keep him away. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that.”
He was losing her. Panic spread to bone-melting fear as a heavy weight pressed down on his chest. “Just wait. And listen.”
“You knew Jake didn’t die in that plane crash. And you didn’t tell me. You knew!” She swiped at the tears. “How could you do that?”
He swallowed, hard. “I didn’t know for sure. I suspected. And I knew if I’d told you, you’d have gone looking for him.”
“So you lied to me? Why?”
He raked a hand through his hair, tamping down the resentment at the mention of Jacob McKellen. “Because you’re my wife, not his. I needed you with me. I needed to know how you felt about me before I told you what I knew. It was wrong, and it was selfish, but I wanted more time.” When her mouth dropped open, desperation tugged at him. “Don’t you get it? I wasn’t about to let you get anywhere near him after I knew what he’d done.”
“So you let me believe a lie. You didn’t trust me enough to be honest with me.”
“No.” It was coming out wrong. She wasn’t getting it. “That’s not it. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“And this is so much better,” she mocked. Her eyes darkened. “You were working with him.”
“No.” On this, she had to believe him. “I swear, I wasn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me! I know he was in your office. I know he was a partner in Grayson Pharmaceuticals. You acquired his company. You were planning on pushing Amatroxin through the FDA. My God, was this all about the money?”
The muscles in his chest tightened. Just the thought she would believe any of that sent the pain of a thousand daggers right through his heart. “I didn’t know Amatroxin was linked to Tabofren when I went ahead with the merger. I had my suspicions.”
“So you jumped on it?” A pathetic laugh rippled through her. “You were willing to do anything to get it?”
“No. I was willing to do anything to keep it off the market. I had an idea what McKellen was planning. Grayson was in trouble. They’d dumped all their money into that drug. I stepped in to make sure Amatroxin didn’t go before the FDA. I put a stop to the process after we acquired the company. If anything, I lost money in that deal.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth. That’s why McKellen showed up at my office. He was pissed that I’d terminated the project a second time.”
Disbelief swirled in her green eyes.
“Did you kill him?” she asked in a chilly tone.
“No.” When she glanced away, he set his jaw. “But I would have. If I’d known what he did to you, I’d have ripped his heart out with my bare hands.”
When she glanced back, he hoped she
saw the truth in his eyes. “I would do anything for you.”
“Anything,” she whispered. “Including trying to cover up this whole mess by getting rid of Janet Kelly.”
“No.” He reached for her, but she stepped back. As his hand dropped to his side, frustration spurred his temper. “Do you honestly think I could do that?”
“Someone saw your car that morning. At her house. Before we even got there to try to talk to her. What am I supposed to believe, Ryan? You left me that morning. You said you were going to your office, but you didn’t.”
“And you believe I would go murder some woman?” Disbelief raged through him.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. Everything I thought I knew is a lie!”
That vise tightened around his heart. She didn’t believe in him, not like he needed her to. She was pulling away, putting up those barriers he’d worn down over the last week.
“I didn’t kill anyone, Katie,” he said on a sigh. “I parked in the building garage that morning and walked three blocks to a private investigator’s office downtown. Someone must have used my car while I was there.”
“That’s convenient, don’t you think?”
“It’s the truth.”
“Why were you going to see a P.I.?”
“Because I wanted to find McKellen. I wanted to know if he was the one behind all this. I needed to make sure he wasn’t planning on hurting you again.”
She dropped to a bench on the deck. Curls tumbled across her face when her head fell into her hands.
He rested his hands on his hips and clenched his jaw as he watched her. He wanted to reach for her, but she’d made it clear she didn’t want him touching her. “Are you going to ask me if I tampered with the brakes too?”
“I know you didn’t,” she whispered.
Finally. Sensibility. He ached to hold her, to reassure her. He stepped forward. “Katie—”
“Who killed him?”
“I don’t know.”
Damp lashes lifted so she could look at him. “Don’t know, or won’t tell me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have any idea?”
“No.”
She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
Kneeling in front of her, he placed trembling hands on her thighs. “Believe in me. Believe in us. I love you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
“Don’t you get it, Ryan?” she whispered. “You did hurt me. In the worst possible way.” Tortured emotions brewed in the depths of her emerald green eyes. “You made me fall in love with you. Then you took away the very trust that love was built on. How am I ever supposed to believe anything you say?”
The air clogged in his throat. She loved him. Her revelation was exactly what he’d wanted to hear since the day she walked back into his life, but never in a thousand years did he expect her to say it wasn’t enough.
She pushed his hands aside and rose.
Fear and heartache clawed at his soul. He was going to lose her if he didn’t do something to make this right. Rising, he fought back the tears stinging his eyes. “Katie, please.”
She wiped at her cheeks. “I can’t. I don’t even know you.”
“You do know me. You know everything that matters.” When she turned for the door, his voice hitched. “Please. I can’t lose you a second time.”
She paused with one hand on the door. “Don’t you understand, Ryan? You already did.”
***
“Mitch, this is ridiculous.”
Kate dropped blankets and a pillow on the couch. Calming waves tickled the shore in the moonlight outside her beach house, but the familiar sounds did nothing to settle the desolation in her heart. What she wanted was to be alone, to wallow in her misery. What she had was an overprotective brother who wasn’t giving her an ounce of space.
“Don’t even think about arguing with me on this one.” Laying a sheet over the couch, Mitch shot her a frown. “You’re not staying by yourself right now.”
Frustration curled through her. “I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.”
“Would you just stop arguing? You always were a pest when you set your mind to something.” He tossed the pillow at the end of the couch, fluffed a blanket over the cushions.
“Did Ryan send you over here?”
“He suggested it. And I’d have listened if I hadn’t already made plans to be here.”
She let out a frustrated groan. “I need to be alone right now.”
“No, you don’t.” He flopped onto the couch, toed off his shoes, leaned back against the armrest, and propped his feet on the cushions. “You need to be doing something to take your mind off Ryan. Making dinner for me would probably do it.”
Her eyes slid closed, and she tried to muster up the exasperation he deserved. But instead, a pathetic laugh bubbled through her. She pushed his feet out of the way and dropped onto the couch.
Mitch sat up with a grin, tossed his arm over her shoulder, and chuckled. “See, isn’t that better?”
As she dropped her head in her hands, the laughter turned to tears. Her chest tightened, the implication of what she’d done sweeping over her. Sobs wracked her body, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop the dam from breaking. She wrapped her arms around her head in embarrassment, some tiny part of her vaguely aware she wasn’t alone.
“Oh, crap.” Mitch’s arms circled around her, pulling her tight against his chest. “It’s okay. Let it out.”
Her tears soaked into his blue T-shirt. She sniffled and tried to turn her head.
Mitch glanced down and waved a hand. “Go ahead. Use it as a tissue. It’s just a Cubs shirt. They suck this year.”
Gripping the soft cotton, she couldn’t help but chuckle through the tears. She fought for control, dragged air into her lungs, only to have the dam break all over again.
Mitch ran a hand down her hair. “You’re going to be okay. Cry it out.”
How could she hurt so bad after only a few weeks? A month ago, she hadn’t even known Ryan Harrison. Today, her world was tumbling down around her because she couldn’t have him.
And what hurt most was knowing that even with everything she’d been through, knowing all the lies, all the deceit, she still wanted him. She wanted his arms around her. Wanted his body lying next to her. Wanted that family she’d never expected, never let herself hope for. In a few short weeks, he’d changed everything for her. And she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to set it right again.
Somehow, she steadied herself. Pushed back from Mitch and drew in large gulps of air.
He brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. “You never were much for emotional outbursts.”
Sniffling, she ran a hand across her face. “I’m still not. I told you I wanted to be alone.”
“What can I do?” he asked softly.
“Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do.”
“Kate, Ryan’s not a bad guy.”
“I know that. I don’t want you caught in the middle, Mitch. I know you love him.”
“I love you too.”
Tears welled inside again, and she covered her eyes with her hand. “I know,” she managed in a weak voice.
“Isn’t there any way you two can work this out? It’s obvious how much you love him.”
“I do. Too much. But sometimes love just isn’t enough.”
His frown tore at her.
She swiped at her face again, desperate to change the subject. “Speaking of relationships…” She sniffled. “Simone tried to fire me today. Said she couldn’t in good faith be my lawyer anymore because she’s sleeping with you.”
A cheeky smile spread across his face. “What did you tell her?”
“I told her she couldn’t fire me because I was the client. And when she argued I told her if she brought it up again, I’d convince you to break up with her.”
His smile widened. “And what did she sa
y?”
“She backtracked rather quickly. I think she’s got the hots for you, Mitch.”
His smile turned to a full-blown grin as he leaned back against the couch and threaded his fingers behind his head. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
Seeing how happy he was made Kate remember how unhappy she was. Tears threatened again. She’d cried more in the last few weeks than she had in a year. She was sick of being such a girl. She rose, wiped her face again. “I need to go lie down.”
He pushed off the couch. “Are you going to be okay?”
That was a ludicrous question at the moment. Her heart had just been ripped to shreds, and she still didn’t understand what had really happened to her. But knowing that wasn’t the answer Mitch wanted to hear, she mustered up a pathetic smile. “I’ll survive. I’ve learned how to cope along the way.”
***
Wind pelted the small house. A sliver of moonlight peeked through the sheer curtains in Kate’s living room, shining right in Mitch’s eyes. Tossing an arm over his face to block out the light, he muttered curses. Whatever happened to real curtains?
Slap. Slap. Slap.
Good God, what was that? He flopped onto his side and yanked the pillow over his head to block out the relentless sound and obnoxious light. How the hell did Kate ever fall asleep in this place?
Slap. Slap. Slap.
No way he was sleeping with that incessant noise. On a frustrated groan, he tossed back the covers and moved toward the kitchen. Waves crashed against the sand outside. Placing a hand up to the window, he peeked into the backyard.
Slap. Slap. Slap.
The screen flapped furiously in the wind. Pulling the back door open, he eased down the back steps in his bare feet, shivering in the cool night air. Sand gritted between his toes. A gust of wind whipped his hair in his face, reminding him he needed another haircut already. Damn thing grew like a weed.
Wait for Me Page 28
