by Toni Aleo
“Leave me alone!”
Declan stops short and my heart stills because I am sure he was about to tell me he loves me. I want that more than anything but instead of saying anything else, he turns to look in the direction that the voice came from. Following his gaze to where two people stand in a heated conversation, I ignore them and am about to ask him what he was about to say because obviously, we are not done here, but then someone who sounds very much like Casey, says, “No, you have to tell them I didn’t touch you! I can’t leave. I can’t move my ma. I have to stay here!”
“I don’t know if you did or not! Take the money and go, Casey. Your ma will be fine wherever you move her to. Just leave, make my life and yours better.”
“Lena?” Declan asks and Lena whips around, shock visible on her face.
“Declan, what are you doing out here?”
“I should ask you the same,” he says, and starts for her. I rush to catch up as he says, “What the fuck are you doing here, Casey, especially talking to my sister?”
“Declan, it’s nothing. We were just talking. He’s leaving,” she says quickly, putting her hands up to stop him, but Declan pushes her to the side, beelining for Casey.
“How did you get on this land? You are not welcomed here.”
“I know the spots to get in, Declan. Fuck off,” Casey says, his voice filled with nothing but hatred.
“Declan,” I say sternly, taking hold of his wrist.
“Not right now, love. I need to know what this wanker is doing talking to my sister,” he says, his voice dripping with acid.
“It’s none of your business, Dec, what my business with Lena is.”
“The fuck it isn’t. You better tell me before I beat it out of your ugly arse,” Declan warns.
“Declan please, it’s nothing,” Lena pleads once more, but Declan ignores her, his eyes set on Casey.
“Leave it be, Dec. Go on inside, dance and mingle with your pretty girlfriend,” Casey says, sending me a menacing grin.
“Don’t look at her or Lena for that matter. Get the fuck off my property.”
“You just think you own everything, huh? This land, this fucking town, your sister, Amberlyn, don’t you? Wanna know why I’m here? ’Cause your da is doing everything in his fuckin’ power to reopen the case against me. I need Lena to tell the truth and get your da off my back. I can’t leave my ma or move her, not even with the hundred grand he is offering me. You’re ruining my life, and I need it to stop!”
“I told him I didn’t know, I can’t lie,” Lena says, and I notice that she has started to cry. This doesn’t feel right. Something is off, and I know that it is Casey. He always had me on edge. I don’t trust him one bit.
“Declan, please, let’s all go inside. Call security of something,” I suggest, but he ignores me.
“The truth is that you raped my sister and fucked us all up. So no, she won’t lie for you and that’s it. Take the money, Casey, and get the fuck out of here. Until then, though, stay the hell away from her, or anyone I love for that matter. This is your last warning,” Declan says, taking a step towards him, his shoulders taut, along with the rest of his body. I reach for his hand, lacing my fingers with his, trying to stop him as he says, “Now get the hell out of here.”
“I fucking hate you, Declan. You are the biggest fucking tool in this God-awful town. It’s disgusting how much everyone loves you when you are worthless. You have been a constant pain in my ass since the beginning.”
“And you’re not going to do anything about it, Casey, so leave.”
Nothing is said for what seems like hours but really its only seconds before Casey says, “The hell I’m not.”
When he reaches in his pants and pulls out a gun, my world completely stops. It’s like everything is frozen in time as he lines it up on Declan. I look at Lena, her mouth falls open, and my sweet Declan is standing as tall as ever. Not scared at all.
“Casey, what the hell!” Lena cries. “Put the gun away.”
“Yeah, can’t fight with your hands, you arse? Put that shit down. No one is scared of you.”
“You should be!” he yells, the gun shaking from where his hand is trembling. “I’m going to ruin your life, like you have mine.”
I can see the hatred in Casey’s eyes, and I know that he is going to kill the man I love. Without thinking, I step in front of Declan as the gun goes off and pain rips through my chest. I hear Lena scream and Declan yell my name as I crumble to the ground, the warmth of my blood spilling out of me and down my breasts, staining my gorgeous, white dress. The pain is unbearable. All I feel is the white-hot sting of agony and it has me gasping for breath as Declan gathers me in his arms, crying my name. I try to answer him but nothing is coming out as I gasp for breath, tears rolling down my cheeks. As my eyes slowly close, I’m not sure if I’m dying or what, but all I can think is that I just did everything my mom wanted.
I did something drastic, I took a risk, I fell in love… but the only problem is that I might die for the man that I love.
No. No. No. No. No!
Gathering Amberlyn in my arms, blood spills all over her dress, and I start freaking out. This did not just happen; Casey did not just shoot my love. Lena drops to the ground beside me, pressing her hand into the wound at the top of Amberlyn’s chest as she screams for help. Tears are flooding my eyes, I can’t breathe, and I don’t know what to do. I move her hair from her face, trying to keep my tears in as I hold her, but then her eyes slowly start to close.
“No, no, love, please stay awake.”
“It hurts,” she cries, tears falling in heaps along her cheeks.
“I know, love. Please, don’t close your eyes, don’t leave,” I cry as I lean my head onto hers. I didn’t think he’d shoot. I didn’t even think it was loaded. I thought he was just being a punk, trying to scare me, since he’s never even shot a gun before. I know that for a fact because the gun was his grandda’s old revolver, and he has always been afraid of it. Why didn’t I realize what was going on? Why did she jump in front of me? This should be me—not her.
Wiping my face, her blood smears along it as I whisper against her cheek the lyrics to the song I know calms her. Her song. Her parent’s song. Fuck, I can’t lose her. I refuse to think that as I softly sing as people gather around us, and my sister cries. I don’t know what else to do and when Amberlyn’s eyes fall shut, it’s as if I am having an out-of-body experience because surely, that’s not me losing it. I am screaming, my body shaking, and tears falling in heaps down my face.
I usually have it all together, but that’s all changed since Amberlyn has come into my life. Now I’m a mess, and everything is happening so fast. The whole process of getting Amberlyn to the hospital is a blur to me. I remember Kane pulling me away to allow the paramedics to get her. I remember them performing CPR, but not much after that. I don’t even know where Casey went. He meant nothing to me once I saw all the blood coming out of my love. I’m not even sure how I got to the hospital. I remember standing in front of the surgery doors as Fiona stood beside me, crying and trying to hold herself up, for what seemed like hours. Kane and Lena tried to get me to eat, to sit, to relax, but all I could do was watch for any kind of sign that my love was okay. After hours without her while she was in surgery, they finally allowed me to see her. The bullet missed her heart only by inches, but it did nick an artery that they had a hard time fixing. They say she’s not out of the dark and have given her a heavy dose of medication to keep her comfortable while a tube is down her throat, helping her breathe. I didn’t listen much while they talked. I only watched her, laying there as if she is an angel, and thinking how I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.
My heart is hollow, I can’t breathe, and I don’t know what to do. I’m helpless as I watch my love fight for her life. I don’t understand why this happened. Why did she do this? Why did she think I would be okay without her? I honestly feel like I am dying inside, and I don’t know how to control my emotions a
s I watch her chest rise and fall from the power of the breathing machine. Her uncle and aunt sit on the other side of her, with Fiona between them, all of them crying.
“I had one job, one, to keep her safe and this happens,” Mrs. Maclaster whispers. “I promised Ciara, I promised Tomas, and I can’t believe I failed.”
“Ma, she’s gonna pull through, don’t worry,” Fiona cries as she takes Amberlyn’s hand. “She’s got this. She is the strongest person I know.”
I can only nod as the tears roll down my face. She is the strongest, the most beautiful, and a true gift from God that I can’t let go of yet. As my eyes fall shut, I squeeze her hand as I pray that she has the strength to come back to me. To love me and never leave.
Laying my head on the bed, I suck in a deep breath as I close my eyes. I didn’t want sleep to take me, but the exhaustion was too much. I’m not sure how long I sleep but when I wake, it is because Kane is shaking me.
“Dec,” he says, crouching down in front of me. “They got him. Casey is in custody, claiming he didn’t shoot her.”
“I wouldn’t have believed it if he was a man and owned up to his crime,” I say sadly, shaking my head. “They know he did though, right?”
“Yeah, they found the gun outside his house in a barrel or something. Your da is flipping out and says he is getting the greatest lawyer to make sure Casey never sees the light of day again.”
I nod. “Good, at least he is doing something.”
“Yeah, they brought flowers for Amberlyn, too. I think they took Lena home. She was a mess.”
Biting into my lip, I whisper, “We all are.”
“She’s gonna make it, Dec. You know that.”
My lip quivers, and I bite into it harder as I look up at him. “I can’t believe she jumped in front of me like that.”
“When you love someone, that’s what you do,” Kane says, cupping my shoulder before squeezing it tightly.
That’s when I realize that I haven’t been able to tell her that I love her. How I’d jump in front of a bullet for her if I had really believed that Casey was going to pull the trigger. He’s a fucking pansy arse; I never thought he had the balls to do this. I knew he was a piece of shit, but I never thought he wanted to kill me. I know I haven’t made his life easy but shit, he didn’t deserve for me to. He is a wanker, a complete dog, and didn’t deserve anything but the treatment of one. He wouldn’t even admit to hurting my sister, and then he hurt my love. Twice. From this moment on, he is dead to me, and I hope that he gets everything that’s coming to him. As for Amberlyn, I just want her back in my arms, alive and well. I could hold her for eternity and more than likely, I will once she is conscious.
Kissing the palm of her hand, I look up into her beautifully sleeping face and whisper, “I need you to fight this, love. I never got to tell you I love you. That you are my future, my queen, my everything. Please, Amberlyn. Please, fight this.”
Soon, I find myself singing “The Parting Glass” but in my head, it’s Amberlyn singing the words so beautifully with sweet tears rolling down her face. It calms me, soothes me even, and all I want is the taste of her lips on mine, all I want is for her to look at me the way she did that day. To feel her the way I did and to honestly fall so hard all over again. She has completely stolen my heart, and I can’t do this world without her.
I just can’t.
The next few hours are all a blur. Amberlyn’s aunt and uncle come and go, Fiona though, is like me and doesn’t leave unless she has to use the bathroom. Kane has stayed at his post against the wall for most the time, too, as we watch Amberlyn’s chest rise and fall and wait for her body to heal. When a hand comes onto my shoulder, I look up to find my sister with bloodshot eyes and her lips in a straight line.
“How is she?”
“The same,” I answer. “We are waiting for the doctor.”
“Do you need anything, Declan?”
I look back to see my ma and da in the doorway. Both of them look concerned but even so, my da still looks like it was such an inconvenience for him to leave the house to come here.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Have you eaten?” she asks, and I shake my head again.
“No.”
“Why don’t you come to get food for everyone with us,” my da suggests. “Get some air.”
“I don’t want to leave her,” I say, lacing my fingers with hers.
“Declan, come with us,” Lena says after a moment. “You need to eat, and you need to be strong for her. Fiona can keep guard, and she’ll call if anything happens.”
“Yeah, Declan, I will. Go get us some food,” Fiona says. “I’m hungry.”
“Then you go get it. I can’t leave her.”
No one says anything and I lay my head gently on her leg, matching my breathing with hers. Taking in a deep breath before letting it out to calm myself, I feel on the brink of losing it and I don’t know how to control that.
I feel my father beside me before he speaks, and I wish he’d go away.
“Declan, son, I need to speak with you. Come with us. We’ll be back in no time.”
I don’t want to go, but I can hear it in my da’s voice that he needs me to follow him. Thinking it may concern Casey, I get up and send a look to Fiona. “Call me if anything happens.”
“I will.”
Kane squeezes my shoulder before dropping into the seat I just left and leaning into the bed. I follow my parents and Lena out of the room. Nothing is said as we get the food and head back. I am starting to think this is pointless until my da turns to me and says, “How are you holding up?”
I shrug. “I’m here.”
He nods. “Kane tell you they got that fucker? He is in jail as we speak, and my legal team is building a case. I told them that we will let them know when Amberlyn wakes up.”
I like that he says when Amberlyn wakes, but it still doesn’t ease my pain. As much as I want Casey to go to jail and rot, I wish more than ever it was he in that bed instead of her. Looking up at my da, I say, “Thank you.”
He looks at the ground as he says, “So she stepped in front of you?”
My throat goes tight as my heart speeds up in my chest. “Yes.”
“My God,” my ma breathes. “That is such a selfless act and just shows what kind of person she is.”
“The most amazing,” Lena says. “I liked her from the moment I met her, and I can’t wait to get to know her once she is better.”
Lena laces her fingers with mine and smiles up at me. I try to return the sentiment, but I don’t think I will smile again until it’s for Amberlyn. I feel my eyes flood with tears and I want to go back to her but before I can, my da says, “I was wrong to think what I did of her and I am sorry for that, son. I plan to tell her the same. I owe her the world for keeping a part of me alive.”
When a tear spills over my cheek, I hate myself for looking so weak in front of my father, even though he bared some of his heart to me. I never thought this day would come but looking up to meet his gaze, I can see the pain and concern that the last couple of days have brought onto him. I look away as I take in a deep breath.
“Thank you,” is all I manage to say before I head back to Amberlyn’s room to hand out everyone’s sandwiches.
Everyone leaves to eat except for Fiona and me. While she eats, I hold Amberlyn’s hand, my sandwich on my legs as I watch her breathe. It makes me feel better to see that she is alive, but I hate that the future is still unsure.
It’s well past eight that night when the doctor finally strolls in. My sandwich has been left on my legs uneaten, and it falls to the floor once I see who has entered. Kane wakes Fiona, and we watch as he looks Amberlyn over and checks her file.
“Good news, everyone. She is ready for the tube to come out.”
I feel as if someone has kicked me in the gut. I bow over, holding the side of the bed. “She is going to be okay?” I ask, because that has to mean she is going to be okay. Right?
“
We will see. We aren’t out the dark yet, my friends, but we are close. She is a strong woman, that’s for sure.”
I nod as Fiona’s hands come around my wrist. I look over at her to see the tears spilling over and rolling down her cheeks. “Yeah, she is,” she agrees, sending me a grin.
I swallow hard as I look back at the doctor. “Okay, let’s clear out the room while I do this, okay? There is a glass window you all can watch from.”
We do as he asks and watch from the window he mentioned. Finally, two nurses come in and they slowly remove the tube. Washing his hands, the doctor looks back at me as he says, “Now we wait for her to wake. Talk to her, don’t shake her or anything, but encourage her to wake up.”
Taking our spots beside her, I take hold of her hand and kiss her palm.
“It looks positive, folks. Stay that way for her,” he says before leaving the room.
Kissing her palm once more, I stroke her wrist as I try to hold back my tears. Fiona is crying, looking extremely stressed out, and I know I look the same. I’m not sure how long it is going to take her to open her eyes, and I hate the unknown. I worry for her and I find myself praying that she wakes up, that God and her parents allow me more time with her. I promise them that I’ll love her and treat her the way they all would want me to. All I need is more time.
As minutes turn into hours, I start to get frustrated. The doctor said to stay positive, but it’s hard when she isn’t responding to anything I say. I’ve done everything—touched her, talked to her, even kissed her, and nothing has worked. So has Fiona, and she hasn’t moved an inch. Her eyes haven’t even fluttered or even gave me any kind of hope that they are opening. Thankfully, though, her chest continues to rise and fall and that is promising, but I still crave to see those aquamarine eyes. To kiss those sweet lips and utter the words that have been dying to come out for days.
