by H A Dawson
Contrived
Friendships are essential for our wellbeing, it's obstacles create strength
by
H A Dawson
©2013 H A Dawson
(Honor Amelia Dawson)
Stoats and Swan Publishing
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Novels by H A Dawson
Luke Adams Series
Book 1: Girl On A Train
Book 2: The Lie
Book 3: Silent Screams
Book 4: Naive Retribution
Novellas
Back Road
Separates
Dark Places
(Underlined titles depict active web link to an Amazon multilink )
Friedrich Nietzsche
“At times, our strengths propel us so far forward we can no longer endure our weaknesses and perish from them.”
Dedication
Friends past and present whose forbearance is eternally etched into my wordcraft
Note to readers
This book is written in UK English and has been edited/proofread to comply with UK grammar and language conventions. The structure differs in subtle ways to other versions of English. Some spelling and grammar variances will be apparent in the text, and are normal. Examples are "ou" as used in colour, "ise" as in authorise.
The UK is a small country with many regional variations in vernacular turns of phrase, mainly stemming from the many invasions the British isles have endured over thousands of years. Some of these words may have an opposite meaning to those used in other English speaking countries!
Introduction
This story is based in the UK, and part of a themed collection, where the stories focus on the way our personal beliefs influence the outcome.
The main characters are either friends or family, often including strong sensitive women, everyday circumstances that become precarious due some shift in their social relationships. Occasionally romantic interest is blended into the mix, which ramps up the emotional charge as the stress crunches the characters.
Contrived - The story premise
Jessica is tormented by guilt, even though she instigated none of the distressing events, a chain of accusations could result in the loss of her job, which is more important to her than mere money.
Jessica and Alice have shared funtimes, which have gradually been eroded by the selfish actions of her friend Alice, the consequences have damaged people's lives.This trail of destruction causes a surprising change of opinion.
Table of Contents
Contrived
Booklinks
Contrived - The story premise
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
H A Dawson- Catalogue
H A Dawson-Catalogue
H A Dawson
Chapter 1
Confusion grasped me in a stranglehold, holding me static and voiceless. I had just been told I was being suspended from my job at the sports centre pending an investigation into my supposed drugs usage. It was bizarre even unfathomable, the reality of the situation and its implications made my head spin. I had not taken drugs, nor had I had any in my possession. It was all lies.
Would anyone believe my innocence? Would I lose my job? How would I cope without an income? I wouldn’t be able to pay for the holiday I had planned to take in four months time, nor would I be able to pay for the two-piece suite I had just purchased. I was supposed to be paying it back on a month-by-month basis, but my savings would only stretch so far. Did that mean I would have to return it? It was a silly concern given the circumstances, and I knew I should be focusing on forming a defence, especially since Lesley, my manager was staring at me and awaiting my response. Nevertheless, it remained with me, combining with other equally ridiculous thoughts, such as how I was going to pay for the birthday gifts I was to purchase over the next three months, and how I was going to find the money to go on an extravagant hen night planned for a month’s time.
The practicalities of being without an income were hitting me hard. I didn’t want to be jobless. Aside from anything else, I loved the work, I loved the classes I ran, and I loved being around the children, even the difficult ones, who only attended because their so-called dictatorial parents insisted they lost weight and improved their fitness. These feelings were multiplied by the sensation of loss and panic that gripped me. It was a horrid sensation.
Gawping at Lesley, I pressed my hand tight to my abdomen. I wanted my innocence to be believed, but given her announcement, it was apparent she had already made her decision.
‘Jessica,’ she said in a calm voice. ‘Telling me the truth now will help you in the long run.’
Crumpling my face, I folded my arms across my front into a defensive pose. I was not taking drugs, and I was certainly not passing them onto anyone. Who had told her I was responsible and for why? It was such a malicious thing to say.
Driven by her persistent stare, I told her my thoughts, adding that if I were a drug user, that I would never, under any circumstances, bring them into work. I knew how strict Lower Witham Sports Centre were regarding such matters, and quite rightly so. We had dealings with many young people. It would be inappropriate behaviour.
To her credit, she listened attentively. However, her expression didn’t change; she considered me guilty.
I was wasting my time. Panicking, I shifted to the edge of my seat and wrapped my arms around my middle. ‘Why don’t you believe me? And where’s your evidence? You can’t suspend me. I have rights.’
‘As I said, it’s just whilst an investigation takes place. And as far as the evidence is concerned, we have a witness. I’m sorry Jessica. I have to follow procedure.’
How could they have a witness? I was innocent. Frustrated, I ran my hands through my recently cropped hair set into a bob, this insignificant action caused me to ponder the reality of the situation. With a witness, I was sure to be made redundant. Under those circumstances, I was the loser!
‘I must say,’ she said, breaking me from my unhappy thoughts. ‘I am surprised. It seems so unlike you, to do something like this.’
‘It's not like me at all! I don’t do drugs!’ I was going to add that I never had taken them, but stopped short, remembering how years previous, I had been a casual user. Whilst I had only ever taken them in rare instances on nights out, I feared that there was a connection, it seemed the only viable explanation. For a reason unbeknown to me, I was a scapegoat for a crime I hadn’t committed. The thought tightened my gut. Unable to add any weight to my argument, since lying would do me no favour, I stilled my voice and waited her reply.
‘But once upon a time you used drugs, didn't you?’
My pulse quickened. How did she know? Alice, my colleague and close friend was the only person who knew, and even though I didn’t want to believe she had played a part, I had a very real sense that she had, and recounted a conversation from the previous day.
We had been
cleaning up a hall after a fundraising concert she had organised for a meningitis charity, and after sharing anecdotes relating to some of the attendees, and laughing until we cried, she had asked me if Lesley had spoken to me. I said not. She avoided having to elaborate, and with an expression riddled with guilt, she made an excuse to leave, leaving me alone, perplexed.
Her mind must have been on the drugs allegation. She had known what was going to happen, having divulged confidential information to Lesley, yet had not had the courage to speak. I felt betrayed, uncomfortable knowing a close friend, whose dishonourable role, was one leading to my suspension, her involvement was something I should consider cautiously.
‘Jessica …’
I scrutinised her and retorted. ‘Who told you I used to do drugs?’
She frowned and hesitated to reply. Evidently, she didn’t want to divulge her source.
‘It was Alice, wasn’t it?’
She didn’t respond, but I noticed a flicker of sadness as our eyes locked. Everyone knew of our relationship; since Alice’s arrival at the centre, nearly a year previous, we had become close friends.
‘Is it true?’ Lesley pressed, redirecting my thoughts. ‘Did you once take drugs?’
‘It happened years ago … for fun. I experimented, as you do when you’re in your teens. I haven’t done it since.’ I studied her face, panic strangled me. ‘Not in ten years, I swear!’
Her face was impassive. She leaned back into her chair, manifesting an air of authority, not disclosing anything.
‘Why don’t you believe me?’
‘I want to, really I do,’ she said, her face softening. ‘Which is why we are carrying out an investigation. If you are innocent, as you say you are, you will be reinstated.’
They sounded hollow words. If she believed me, she wouldn’t be suspending me.
‘I would never do such a thing,’ I said.
For me, taking drugs had been a mistake. I wasn’t proud of what I had done, nor the people I had associated with at the time. I may not have admitted my shame to Alice, but they had been dark times, and reflecting on them remained uncomfortable yet memorable.
‘If you’re innocent-’
I stopped her mid-stream. I didn’t want to hear any more, and leapt from my seat and announced my departure. As I rushed down the corridor, away from the staff-only segment of the building, the conversation hounded my thoughts. Alice had told her of my past misdemeanours. How could she? I had shared the information in confidence. Given the circumstances, it was a horrendous betrayal of trust.
I stopped dead in my tracks, glancing back towards the door. Was Alice also the witness Lesley had spoken of, the one who had provided her with the so-called evidence of my drug crimes? I was too afraid to ask, so feeling horribly let down, rushed away, through the swing doors, passing a number of the centre’s customers, and through the outer doors. I was not in the right state of mind to face the truth. I would ask Alice later, when the pain in my heart had diminished; I would ask her when I felt able to stay calm.
Chapter 2
Waking up the following day, my heart was heavy. I was lost without work, and whilst under normal circumstances I had hobbies and pastimes to enjoy, they weren’t normal circumstances and I couldn’t motivate myself into action. I didn’t want to play the guitar, my preferred hobby, nor was I in the mood for watching any of the films I had recorded. Instead, I slumped onto my mustard yellow sofa, the one I had recently purchased and worried it may have to be returned, and I became overwhelmed in a rush of sadness.
I did sigh heavily, where was my life taking me? Would I become destitute in six months time and have to return to my parents’ home? How long would it take to get another job? They were hard to come by since the country was undergoing austerity measures, but even harder since my record would now show I had been suspended from my job. What was I going to do? I Scrunched my face, I ran my hands through my hair and stared vacantly into space.
I had no defence. I couldn’t prove I hadn’t taken the drugs into the centre, and I couldn’t confront the person who had provided Lesley with so-called evidence relating to this crime, as I didn’t know their identity. Of course, Alice could have been responsible, but the more I'd thought about it, the more I refused to believe she would've done such a thing.
She was my friend; we shared hugs and cheek-to-cheek kisses when we met, we spent much of our spare time together chatting about work, Alice’s fundraising activities, and other everyday issues and events, we had the same sense of humour. She wouldn’t have betrayed me.
I had yet to speak to her, I knew the shift rota, it was her day off, so it provided me with the perfect opportunity to make contact. Yet, I hesitated, despite all my positive thoughts, a small part of me feared the worst. If I learned she had betrayed me, I would be devastated. It was more than I could handle.
Time dragged. I wandered between the rooms looking for something to occupy my time, but struggled for motivation. There were objects out of place, drawers and cupboards needing to be cleaned, and books and magazines to read, but nothing inspired me into action. Listless in the extreme, I sank back onto the sofa and gazed blindly at a small trophy I had won recently whilst enjoying an outdoor pursuit day with Alice.
Outdoor pursuits weren’t something we normally did, but we had been drawn to participate having seen a poster at the sports centre. It proved to be an excellent day; we had a choice of abseiling and rock-climbing in the morning, and kayaking or raft building in the afternoon. We chose to abseil and kayak, both were immensely pleasurable, the activities incorporated numerous small competitions. I was awarded a trophy for accruing the most points during the kayaking. I was brimming with pride. Alice had shared the celebrations. It was one of the most memorable days I had had for ages.
I didn’t realise that my face had held a slight smile, that was until I thought of Alice’s betrayal and felt it slump, as I was overwhelmed with sorrow and hurt. It appeared she had informed Lesley of my previous involvement in drugs, I hoped that was all that had been said, and couldn’t bear it if she had made up lies about me. She had fast become my best friend. To lose her companionship would be intolerable.
The knot in my middle tightened, increasing my feeling of distress. Unable to cope with not knowing the truth, I decided to speak to her, so I grabbed my handbag and jacket, left my flat, and headed in the direction of her house.
My journey took me through my housing estate and toward a main road. It was a familiar route, one I took on a daily basis to the sports centre. Without thinking, I skipped across the roads, glanced at dogs in the gardens, and nodded my greeting to an elderly woman whom I occasionally shared a conversation with.
Given the strain in my heart, my steps were surprising light, probably since I was grateful to have finally made a decision. However, as I approached the sports centre, my courage faded, recalling the events of the previous day, slowed my steps. I couldn’t erase the confrontation I had had with Lesley from my mind, and in particular that expression on her face when I finally realised Alice’s role. She had known the news was going to hurt me, it seemed she would have done whatever she could to spare me the pain.
For a brief second, I felt as though she was on my side, and so without thinking, plucked my mobile from my bag and dialled her number. To my gratitude, and before I lost my courage, she answered the call. Moments later, we agreed to meet in a café a short distance away from the centre.
I folded and unfolded my arms, fiddled with my fingernails, and twisted a lock of hair, anxious and awaiting Lesley’s arrival. I wasn’t quite sure why I had contacted her, or why she had agreed to a meeting. Was I hoping to learn of Alice’s lack of involvement? It was a crazy way to behave. I should be accepting the truth and moving on with my life, and not craving the impossible.
The prospect of my humiliation as I discussed my one-sided friendship with Alice to Lesley, was more than I could bear, and feeling a sudden and desperate need to escape, I reached to my h
andbag resting on the next chair and jumped to my feet. But I didn’t move swiftly enough. Someone appeared at my rear, voicing my name.
I spun around to see Marion, a lady who had provided Alice with a hall free of charge for one of her fundraising activities early in the month.
‘How did the health fair go?’ Marion asked. ‘Did you raise lots of money?’
‘A little short of five hundred pounds. The raffle alone raised in excess of two hundred pounds. Having said that, we had been given some very generous prizes.’
‘That’s very good. Do you do events regularly?’
‘Alice does. She’s the registered fundraiser. I just help now and again.’
She nodded, urging me on.
‘She’s very good at it. She has at least one major event a month and in between does a lot of tin rattling, often in pubs. I believe, over the last few months she’s raised in the region of seven or eight thousand pounds, possibly more.’
‘That’s amazing. I wish I had the time to do something like that. It must be very satisfying. Why meningitis?’
I reflected upon a conversation I had shared with Alice at the weekend, and told her how Alice’s friend, Holly, had been fifteen at the time she had contracted the disease. ‘One minute she was fine, and twenty-four hours later she was fighting for her life,’ I said. ‘It made her realise how quickly life can end. Ten years on she still suffers from her loss.’
