I focus on the person’s hand. It looks like a man’s hand. I look back at the lady as she says, “There you go, sir. I hope you have a wonderful day.”
“Thank you, sir,” I add and try my hardest to see him under the dark hood. “Have a great evening.”
I turn to go back onto the bus and feel a chill run through me. I glance back to see him still standing there. I bite my lip and want to grab the hood and pull it back, but that’s too crazy and the bus driver coughs, making me turn my attention back to him.
I climb on board and take a seat by the window so I can see him. Perhaps he’ll drop his hood as we leave. He steps up on the curb and turns his back to the bus and walks slowly down the wet sidewalk. His head shakes slowly.
Kip
My head is spinning as I walk away from her. I cannot believe it. I wanted to talk to her so badly and when I saw her I completely froze.
How could she not have told me?
I wonder if she deleted my number like I did hers. Maybe that’s why she’s left me out of this. Left me in the dark about everything.
Thank God I know she’ll be in Los Angeles tonight and tomorrow. I know where to find her there. Now I just have to decide what I’m going to do about this.
Can I get her to forgive me and take me back? Can I get over my fear of needing her too damn much and make it work with her? Should I leave her alone?
She’s done fine on her own so far. Seeing her again reminded me of the all-encompassing need I have for her. The thought that’s its unhealthy seems to be fading to the back of my mind rather than the front where it usually resides.
She may not need me now, but she will. I should be with her, not pretending she doesn’t exist. She doesn’t deserve this.
I take my cell out and call Silas. “Hi Kip, what can I do for you today?”
“Peyton is on a book tour. I’m going to send you a link to the website. They’re going to L.A. and I want you to do your best to find out where they’ll be staying tonight. I have tonight and tomorrow before it ends and I’ll lose track of her then. I can’t let that happen.”
“Kip, man. You hurt her bad. You have to know that. She most likely doesn’t want to talk to you. Showing up at her hotel room could end badly. God knows you don’t want to show up at the book store either,” Silas says and he’s right.
“Find out anyway. Whether she wants to talk to me or not is beside the point. She has to now.” I hang up and keep walking.
My head pounds and my heart aches.
How could she do this to me?
Peyton
I can’t shake the feeling of unease the thing with the hooded man gave me. We’re coming into Los Angeles now and the night lights are bright, the highway is still pretty busy.
I’m sure our motel will be equally as crappy as the rest have been, so getting off the somewhat comfortable bus is not a thing I’m excited about doing. My mind wanders as I look at each exit sign. Which one leads to Kip’s home?
My stomach growls as it’s been hours since I’ve eaten and what I did eat at dinner, I lost. I hope there’s someplace that delivers, and not anymore damn pizza. Lord, I’m tired of pizza. That seems to be all any restaurant will deliver.
I want steak and a potato and a large salad. A monster glass of iced sweet tea and some pecan pie.
I can’t wait to get back home to Texas!
The tour has been long, and it’s just been a little over a month. I don’t know how Kip and his band can do a year-long one. Granted they stay in much better accommodations than we have, but still.
My agent said I only had to do this one tour and she’ll never make me do it again. My situation will make that too difficult anyway. I won’t be able to leave home for extended periods of time.
The driver takes an exit and before I know it, we pull into another dump and he lets us out. As we file out of the bus I get another chill.
I hope I’m not getting a cold!
The night clerk greets us as we go inside the little office. “Hello, how’s everyone this evening?”
We all mumble that we’re fine, though all of us are tired and just want to sleep. Well not me, I want to eat and then sleep. One at a time she hands us the key to our room. I step up to get the key and she smiles at me. “Miss Reed.”
I nod. “That’s me.” I hold my hand out for the key.
She places it in my hand and has a shit-eating grin on her face. “You are in room thirteen. Someone has sent you some things, and I placed them in there for you.”
“Must be my parents. I know they’re happy this is the last stop on this tour. Home tomorrow. Yeah!” I throw my hands up in the air and do a little dance as I walk away.
It’s chilly as I walk back outside and I pull my jacket tight around me. I open the dingy door and turn the light on. My mouth drops open and my heart stops as I see what was sent to me and delivered to my motel room.
What the hell does this mean?
Kip
I ditched the band and the bus and rented a car so I could get to Los Angeles sooner than the bus could get me here. Silas found out where Peyton would be staying and I sent a few things to let her know that I’m not only thinking about her, but will soon be there to see her.
I wonder if she’s excited!
My heart has been on full speed since I saw her. I was admittedly in shock at first, but that seems to have worn off and pure joy is all I feel now. I hope she doesn’t squash that for me.
I called Max and told him the news and he gave me some pointers on how to come at her. The engagement ring is in my pocket. I want to make everything right.
I had to put the fear of rejection behind me. The fear of us being too dependent on each other is ludicrous now. Her need for me should override whatever she feels about me and what I did to her.
As I pull into the tiny motel parking lot, I’m appalled that she’s staying in this rat trap. If she’ll come with me, I’ll take her to my place tonight. This is not a place I want her to be.
I pull up in the parking spot in front of room number thirteen and find I’m shaking. My stomach is in knots and my hands are even sweeting.
Shit! I have to regain my composure and present myself as a stable person, not a nervous idiot!
With a quick slap to my cheek, I try to bring my head back into what it is I have to do and how I have to take charge to get it done. Peyton has been known to be on the stubborn side and I can’t let her get into that place about me.
A hard knock I make as there are no lights on and she may well be asleep. I can’t wait until tomorrow though. I can’t take the chance I’ll have to go all the way back to Texas to find her stubborn ass.
A light comes on inside and my heart pounds so hard I can’t hear anything. The door opens and there she stands in an over-sized pink T-shirt. She rubs her sleepy eyes. “Kip…”
I pick her up and walk inside with her, kicking the door shut behind me. The small room is filled with the red roses I sent. “I’ve missed you, Peyton.”
My lips touch hers and she pushes against my chest. “Stop! Let me down!”
I do as she says as I don’t want her to get upset with me so quickly. “Sorry, baby. I really am, it’s just that I can’t help it.”
She sits on the bed and frowns. “You aren’t going to state the obvious? You aren’t going to yell at me?”
“I saw you earlier today. It was me at the book store. So I already know and have taken that in. For whatever reason, you chose not to get in touch with me and tell me, I don’t care. I’m just happy, Peyton. I’m so damn happy, you have no idea.” I sit next to her and take her hand though I ache to do more.
She gives me a smirk. “It was you in the black hoodie.”
I nod. “I wanted to say something to you. It was my plan to, but when I saw you walk out of the book store, I nearly fainted I was so surprised. Then I asked the lady to stop the bus and get you. Again, I meant to talk to you, but my words stuck in my throat. I’m sorry, love.”
<
br /> “You’re going to be mad when I tell you that I have your number in my phone, I just never wanted to call you and tell you. I was hoping you would miss me and call me, but you never did,” she says and gets up and grabs a bottle of water.
“I deleted your number so I wouldn’t get tempted. I felt you were much better off without me.” I get up and try to wrap my arms around her, but she walks away from me.
“So if I was better off without you then, how is it any different now?” she asks as she sits back down on the bed and I look at the blanket and realize this place is nasty and dirty.
“Pack your things, you’re coming to my place. I can’t allow you to stay here,” I say as I look around for her bag.
“I’m not going with you. I’ve been staying in these kinds of motels for the last month, it’s not hurt me so far. One more night won’t kill me.” She takes a long drink of her water.
“I need you to, Peyton. You and I need to put our idiotic thinking behind us now. There are no if, ands, or buts about it. I still love you,” I say then stop to see if those words affect her at all.
She looks at me only briefly then says, “Great. Glad to hear you still love me. But it was never enough to look back and decide you made a mistake by ending what we had. I still love you by the way. Not that it matters. You’re not a safe bet for me, Kip. You’ve proven that.”
“I am a safe bet.” I pull the ring from my pocket and get on one knee in front of her.
“Get up,” she says. “I’m not about to fall for that again.”
She may as well have plunged a knife in my heart. “Peyton, I was scared. Fear made me think we had something that would hurt us both. I was a fool. Please…”
“Save it, Romeo. Funny how once you found this out you came running to me. Why not before?”
“This was a fluke, finding you. We both ended up in Seattle at the same time. I walked past the book store with your book in it. I had no idea it was your book until I called Max. His wife had seen you in Houston. I went right back and got the book. I love it by the way.”
Her eyes soften for a moment. “You do?”
I nod and try to hold her eyes. “Peyton, I can’t tell you why it’s only now that I realized how important you are to me. I can’t tell you why I found you so intriguing the first time I laid eyes on you. I can only tell you that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I was going to tell you that anyway, even before I saw you.”
“How can I believe you, Kip?” she asks and looks away.
I take her chin in my hand and make her look at me. “Because I’ve never lied to you. Not once. I mean it. My plan was to beg you to come back to me. This is just an unexpected and happy surprise.”
Her eyes gloss over and she may be about to cry. “Kip, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know that I can ever believe you want me back for me or what’s inside me.”
“It’s you, baby. I wanted you back before I ever saw you again. You need to believe me and let that doubt go. There’s no room for it. We have plans to make and this is just getting in the way. Now please, marry me.” I search her eyes for some sign of hope.
Her head shakes. “No, I won’t.”
“You really know how to screw up a proposal, Peyton.” I get up and run my hands through my hair.
“You really know how to break a heart, Kip.”
I turn away from her. “So damn stubborn!”
“Me?” she shouts. “I’m stubborn? What about you?”
“I was afraid, not stubborn,” I argue. “How much time do we have, three months, four?”
“Three. I have three months,” she says. “You have a lifetime as I don’t think you’re stable enough to be what you need to be. It’s important to be around. And if you thought what you felt for me was unhealthy and you had to run from it, then you’ll really feel your connection with this will be bad.”
“I don’t like you calling our child, ‘this’ it’s not very nice. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I haven’t had a sonogram yet. To be honest, I haven’t felt up to it. Mom said she’ll go with me, but I don’t really want to find out with her. I think it’ll be better to be surprised. Kind of how surprised I was when its daddy told me that what we had was too much for him to deal with.”
“Peyton, if I could go back in time and change it all, I would, baby.” I go back and sit next to her. “I’m here now. I’m never going anywhere again. After tomorrow, I’m free from Silas and the contract.”
Her eyes dart up to mine. “Who was the girl?”
“You saw the paper?”
She nods. “A man had it in the book store. I saw your face, well, sort of. That beautiful woman had hers all up in yours, but I saw you. So who is she?”
“Her name is Gina, and she’s a small time singer. I’m pretty sure she thought I’d help her get into the business a bit better, but I assured her I wasn’t going to be that person for her. I told her my heart belonged to you. I told her I was going to change the way I’ve been doing things.”
“You told her?” she asks. “You talked to her that damned much?”
Her cheeks grow red with anger and it makes me smile as I know she still has it for me or she’d not be this jealous. “It wasn’t as long as I’m making it sound. Minutes really. Over the phone this morning. Her coming on stage or being there at all was a surprise to me. I found out later Silas had allowed her to come on after she talked to him.”
“I kind of hate that man,” Peyton says with a frown. “To be honest, I blame him for your actions just about as much as I blame you.”
“He was definitely a gnat in my ear.” I run one arm around her shoulders and with my other hand I touch her round stomach. “You look more beautiful than I remembered you being.”
Her hand goes over mine and for a moment I hold my breath as I’m afraid she’s going to move it. “You lie, but thanks. I feel pretty ugly most of the time. Fat, alone, and ugly.”
My heart aches and I run the arm I have around her shoulders up and cup the back of her head to make her look up at me. “You couldn’t be ugly if you tried and you aren’t fat at all. The only thing I see is that little belly where you’re carrying our child, Peyton. I swear to you that you’re gorgeous, you glow, sweetheart.”
Her eyes twinkle a little. “If I was to take you back, you have to know my brothers would give you a hard time. Maybe even a punch or two.”
“I deserve it, so I’ll take whatever they feel I deserve. I fucked up. I should’ve never been so weak. I really do feel awful I did that to you at the worst time in your life, Peyton. I really do.” Her mouth is mere centimeters from mine, but I have to wait before I kiss her.
“How can I trust you to stay with us? How can I ever feel safe about it? If I build our lives around you and you decide it’s too much for you, then what? Not only do I have my heart to protect now, but my child’s too.” Her eyes search mine and I feel terrible.
“That’s my child too, you seem to forget. I’m not about to freak out over feeling completely in love with my own flesh and blood. I might be a bit of a fool, but I’m not a complete one. So go ahead and ask me what you know you want to, Peyton.” My hand on the back of her head pushes her face a tad bit closer to mine.
“I’m really afraid, Kip. I’m not kidding about that.” Her lips tremble and I know she’s afraid I’ll end it again.
“You’ll have to trust me, baby. I swear I won’t freak out this time. So ask me already and end this torture,” I say and lick my lips.
“What if I don’t?”
“Well, then I’ll have to continue to argue my case until you see fit to give this idiot another shot.” The hand I have on her stomach I move, running it up over her stomach and then to her breasts.
Her breath hitches and she smiles. “This is probably the biggest mistake I’ll ever make. Kip, will you kiss me?”
“I will, but you have to
promise to marry me first, Peyton Gail Reed.” I pull the ring back out of my pocket and wait for her answer as I hold her so close I can smell the sweet cinnamon on her breath.
Her hazel eyes are more green than brown right now and they dart back and forth as she thinks. Finally she blinks a couple of times. “Yes, Kip. I will marry you.”
My lips touch hers gently and I feel like I’m home for the first time since she and I parted ways, I feel whole again. The emptiness inside me fills as I pull her into my arms and run my hands through her blonde curls which have grown a good four inches since I saw her last.
As we kiss, I run my hand with the ring on the pinky down her left arm, and place the ring back on her finger, where it should’ve never left in the first place. My hand leaves hers and slips under the hem of her night shirt.
Her skin is soft as silk and her kiss is every bit as sweet as I remembered. How I let this go is something I can’t wrap my head around. I pull the shirt up and pull my mouth from hers only long enough to take it off her.
She kisses me back hungrily as my hands go right for her breasts which have grown larger. My tongue flows over hers and I push her back gently until she’s on the bed. Then I sit up and look down at her.
A red pair of lacy panties is all she has on. I peel them off her and take her all in. The small bump of our baby I run my hands over. Up her body I run them until I get to her breasts. I cup each one and smile as I say, “Now, these are very nice.”
She giggles, and it makes my heart twitch with happiness to hear her happy again. “You like them? I think they’re going to get bigger.”
“Bonus!” I grin, and have to feel one of them in my mouth.
I lean over her and gently massage one as I pop the other in my mouth. We both moan and her hands tangle up in my hair. Soft murmurs she makes as I go to another place with her voluptuous mounds.
Savage SEAL’s Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 119
