by Lauren Wood
“He is a lawyer like Jax for a big firm. Colt made partner though, years ago. He said something about being the youngest partner in the company’s history.”
That got her attention and I stilled my tongue. I knew better, and this was not going to help.
“But like I said, he signed the papers so that is taken care of.”
Mom asked a few more questions, but by the direction they were going, I didn’t want to hear them or answer them. She was on a fact-finding mission and I didn’t like it at all. It was what she was going to do with those facts that bothered me so much. If she knew the truth, mom would be on Team Colt, by the end of the conversation.
“I don’t know that much about him mom. We didn’t get into all of that. I don’t care how much money he has, or any of that.”
“Did you sign a prenup?”
“I’m not talking about this. It’s over. We’re getting divorced as soon as I file the paperwork with the lawyer.”
“Why don’t you let me take them over to Charlie. That’s who you’re using, right?”
She was being too helpful, or I was being too cautious. I really wasn’t sure what the problem was, but I knew that I was going to have to be careful.
“I can take it mom. I know that you’re probably busy.”
“Nonsense. I would love to do this for you. You need to go see Jax and tell him the good news. Don’t worry your head about it again.”
I didn’t want to go see Jax, but I couldn’t tell mom that. I hadn’t even woken up really good yet, so dealing with her like this was not advisable. I agreed, just so that she would leave, and I would get a moment to myself.
“I’m glad that you are home Candy. You and Jax should come over for dinner tonight. I will make a lamb roast.”
I agreed, but the truth was that I didn’t think I was going to be welcomed if I didn’t bring Jax. She was about to realize that her little plans were not going to work, and I didn’t want to be around for it.
When mom was unhappy, everyone was unhappy. I’d learned that lesson well from before and I breathed out a sigh of relief when she was gone.
Now I just had to figure out what in the world I was going to do about Jax. I had averted one crisis with mom, but I didn’t think that the same thing was going to be possible with Jax. He was going to be far worse to face and I laid back down, covering my head, because I just didn’t want to do it.
The unexpected wake up call had me thinking about the wonderful dream I was in moments before. I wanted to go back to that place, but I had a feeling that I would only dream of my mother now.
That got me up and out of bed. I didn’t have a choice, but to keep on going on with my plan. The new plan that no one knew about, but everyone would soon enough. It wasn’t going to be easy, with external pressures.
Chapter 22
Candy
After about an hour of the first wake up, mom popped her head back in the room and I knew that I had to get up. I wasn't going to be able to put it off any longer and I went to turn my phone on, finding out that Jax had already called several times today. I didn't put it past my mom to have already called him to let him know that I was back in town.
Even though I had finally gotten up early, I was still dragging my feet because I was not looking forward to the conversation I was going to have to have with Jax. I thought about it as I was coming back from Vegas, ever since the first time that me and Colt together and I knew it had to be done.
What happened in Vegas, could stay in Vegas as far as I was concerned. The fact that it happened, told me that Jax wasn't the one that I thought he was. If he had been the one, what happened with Colt, never would've happened.
So about one in the afternoon, I was finally ready to meet up with him. He had been waiting for my call and waiting to go on lunch break so that he could see me. It was just one of the many things he did that was so sweet. To be honest, it just made it harder. I knew what I had to do, and I knew it was for the best, but at the end of the day I didn't want to hurt Jax. He’d never done anything wrong.
I was so nervous to see him that instead of just going to the house, I told him that I wanted to meet for lunch at a restaurant. I figured that it would be better if we had a few people around, then I was hoping that the emotions wouldn't be a strong. I know that it was a long shot, but it was the only thing I could think of to do to make this better for us both.
When I got there, a part of me hoped that Jax wouldn't be there. Maybe he had work to do and had to do something to please one of the partners. It was sad really, but I was never good at confrontation. I didn't mind it, but I didn’t enjoy it at all when it was with someone I cared about it. It was a lot easier to do if I didn't care about the person's reaction. And whatever happened between me and Jax, I was always going to care. Also, our family was going to care as well. They were the hardest critics of all.
He was waiting for me, of course. Jax was always punctual, and he had the biggest smile on his face. I know that there was a lot of questions that he was going to want answers to, but at the moment all he did was get up and give me a hug.
“Damn Candy, I have really missed you.”
“I've missed you too baby.”
“Then why didn't you come home last night?”
“I didn't want to wake you up. It was late.”
He looked at me as if I was lying, but he was always good about not calling me on things. This was one of those times that I was thankful for it and I knew that I had a lot to be thankful for. I didn't know if he was going to make this easy for me or not, but his kindness was actually making it worse. It would have been easier if he was like a bad guy or deserved it, but he didn't and that was what made it so hard. I didn’t want to do it, even though I knew that I must.
“Something has changed, something is different with you. Do you want to talk about it?”
While Jax looked like he was as calm as everyone else in the room, I knew better. I knew him better than most and while he was a great guy, he definitely had a temper that was hard to forget and even harder for him to contain at times. It was at the very least, in the back of my mind as I started speaking, the knowledge that this could go south very quickly.
“Not really, Jax. It has just been a long weekend and I'm probably feeling jet lag. I usually don't travel this much back and forth is in a couple of days, you know that.”
“I get that Candy, but what I don't get is why you would go to your mother’s house. You don't even like her.”
What he said was true. As soon as I was allowed to get out of my parents’ house, I had. My dad was alright, but at the end of the day, he had been talked down to long enough that he didn't have a voice anymore. He just let things happen and I didn't want to live that way. My mother controlled everything, and it was a strange place for me to go, considering.
“I don't know, I just knew that I could get in and nobody would wake up. The flight was cancelled and then I had to grab another one and then it was delayed, so it was almost two in the morning when I got in last night.”
“You know that I wouldn't have minded if you woke me up. I never have before. I wanted to hold you in my arms last night. I stayed up, looking forward to it Candy. You know I sleep better if you’re with me.”
“I know, I just, I don't know.”
When I had ran this conversation in my head, I was certainly more eloquent than I was being at the moment. It was hard not to lie or hurt his feelings. It seemed like I had to do one or the other and I didn't want to do either. I hated to lie, never was good at it, that's why I was so blunt about everything. But I think that I liked the idea of hurting his feelings even less.
“I just feel like the time away has gotten me thinking. You know, maybe this wasn't supposed to happen and everything that stopped it, was just trying to tell us something. Should we really keep pushing it if it wasn't meant to be at all?”
“Meant to be? Where is this coming from? You don't even believe in fate.”
&nb
sp; It was true a week ago, but things have changed. I had met a man after seven years that I had married and never seen again, but as soon as we were around each other, it felt like we've never been apart. That connection hadn’t been coincidence. I just couldn’t believe that Colt hadn’t been anything short of fate.
“I'm not saying anything about fate, Jax. What I'm saying is that it shouldn't be this hard. I know that you have stood by me, even after everything that happened last week, but at the same time I can see a little resentment in your eyes. It wasn't the perfect wedding that you wanted or that you expected.”
He was silent for a time and I could tell that he was just getting madder. I could almost guarantee that his blood was boiling, and he was quite upset, even though handsome face would not show an iota of it. It was what made Jax such a good trial lawyer. He had the face that would hold all of his client secrets in and not many people could do that. I certainly couldn’t, and I turned away so that he wouldn't see my emotions.
“I don't understand what you are saying.”
Losing was so far from his wheelhouse, that he couldn't even comprehend that it was over. I don't know why that bothered me so much. But I did know that I was going to have to press on. I still wasn't sure what sort of truth or how much of it I was going to give, but I knew that I was going to do it as delicately as I could. I wanted Jax to see that it wasn't even about me, but more about him.
“I'm saying that maybe it's a good thing that we didn't get married.”
The silence that took over the table was only broken up by the waitress that walked up to the table. She asked us what we wanted to drink, and I ended up having to answer for both of us because Jax was unable to. He was still looking at me in shock as the waitress walked away, giving us both a look of curiosity that I refuse to answer or comment on.
“You are happy that we didn't get married?”
“I wouldn't say that I am happy about it. I was certainly very upset in the beginning. but now I've had time to reflect and I have to wonder if everything happened for a reason or not. It is hard to think about it, but maybe what was supposed to happen, did.”
It was rather clear that he was not in agreement with me. The look on his face spoke volumes and the facade that he had been holding on to so hard was finally starting to break. He was losing his grip and I was more thankful than ever that we had went to a public place to do this.
“Why are you saying this?”
“I have just had time to think. It was the first time we’ve been apart before, and I was able to finally think. I am not saying that I don’t love you and that I didn’t want to marry you, but things are different now, aren’t they? Can’t you feel it?”
“No, I can’t.”
Chapter 23
Colt
My lawyer called and asked me about the divorce. I had given him a heads up about it, but apparently it hadn't come through yet. He was waiting for the filing and he was going to let me know when it was done. I don't know why, but it felt like the closure that I needed. When I knew that it was happening and done, I could finally stop worrying about my wife.
“I don't know what to tell you Colt, but it has been almost a month and I've heard nothing.”
“So, what do you think that means?”
“I don't know what it could mean. You know her better than I do.”
I told him that there was a good chance that I didn't. I thought I knew her well, but that didn't seem to be the case. If it was, there was no way that it would have turned out the way it did.
“Well Colt, I will let you know something when I hear about it. If you signed the paperwork, which I cannot say that I am so happy about, then we will just have to wait for her to file it. Unless you want to go ahead and file divorce papers of your own. then we can make whatever terms you want, and we can get it started. It's up to you.”
It would have been easier, taking it off my mind. I could just file the paperwork myself, get the divorce and be done with it. It would be preferred to the feeling I had right now, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I knew that she was going to file the paperwork though. Why would she go all the way to Vegas to get my signature if she wasn't? But then there was a question of why she was taking her time with it. Candy had made it like they were going to get married, that I had in fact ruined her first attempt, so why was she taking so long now? I had given her what she wanted. All of these unanswered questions was doing my head in.
I hung up with the lawyer after asking him a few more questions and I let my mind run a little bit. I liked to think that she had not filed them yet because she was unsure, maybe she wanted to stay married. But then again, I knew better. I had gotten my hopes up one too many times over this woman and I wasn't going to let it happen again.
Not able to let my mind run too much, I had to shut down all of the thoughts that I had about Candy. It was hard to work, but I forgot things if I didn't. My lawyer had once again voiced concerns about the divorce papers I hadn’t looked at, but I didn't want to think about that either.
Instead, I went to my office and started in on my work. I’d been burying myself in it lately, not even getting off early enough to pick someone up. My love life had taken a nose dive and I knew that it was because of one person. It was because of Candy. She’d ruined so many things for me, even my favorite restaurant. Everything was bland and dull now. She’d livened everything up, but left darkness in her wake.
***
Leaving the office around midnight, Ernest asked me if I wanted to go to a bar or club, pick someone up.
“No, I think I’m good on all of that. Just take me home Ernest.”
“Can I ask you a question Sir?”
He was getting formal and had concern in his tone. I didn’t like where this was going at all.
“Sure, what’s up?”
I said it casually, hoping that it would stay that way.
“I’m worried about you Sir.”
I sighed and told him that there was no need for that.
“There is nothing to worry about, nothing at all. I’m just taking a break and focusing on work. Got a lot of big clients at the moment.”
It was a very easy to understand sort of comment, but there was still part of me that knew that it was all crap. The truth wasn’t something that could be said out loud. I was in love with a woman that was divorcing me, and she’d ruined all other women for me as a going away present.
Dating was now all a waste of time, maybe it had always been a waste of time.
“I don't know Colt, something is different about you. Is it that little redhead that you had running around here a month ago that was your wife?”
I shot him a look through the rearview mirror and I told him that I didn’t want to talk about it. Of course, it was about Candy, but there was no sense in talking about it.
“She isn't my wife anymore.”
The message must have gotten through by the changing of my voice because he dropped it. That was the best thing that he could do too, because it was last thing that I wanted to talk about.
I sat back in the back seat and watched the city fly by window. It felt strange to me that of all the things that could stop me in my tracks, it was a damn woman that did it. I had been fighting to get to the top for so long, not letting anything get in my way, but that didn't seem to matter now. All that seemed to matter was that I was at the top now.
Being alone wasn't something that I had to do, I could have easily found a woman to stand beside me. But I didn't want any of them. I wanted one woman and no matter how hard I tried to fight it., I just couldn't change that. I was already starting to think of ways to get her back. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it yet, but I knew that I was going to have to.
By the time I got home, I had already called a couple of people, to get some information for me. I had a few investigators that I kept on retainer for when I needed them. I never trusted the police and their investigation, and I didn't even trust my
own client’s word, so sometimes I had to find out things myself.
With Candy, I had to figure out what was going on with her and why she wasn’t doing what she was so sure she wanted to do when she left. Candy hadn't filed divorce papers, and she hadn't gotten married. It made me think that maybe she was feeling the same way that I was. Was she questioning everything too?
Vincent call me back first and gave me the rundown of what he had found out. He had an address, phone number, where she worked, but none of that was what I wanted. I wanted to know where she was living, so that I would know who with.
“Was she still with Jax?”
“That part I don't know Colt. I know that she is not staying in the same address that she used to be, but I don't know if they are together or not. If you give me a couple of days, I will go down there and take a look. There wasn't much that I could get with my contact list so far away.”
“Yeah, go ahead and do that. Just want to know if she's gone for me for good.”
Vincent asked me who she was, and I told him if he was a good enough investigator, he would already know.
He chuckled and said that he knew that she was my wife, but he just wanted to know what I would say about it.”
“I never did tag you as the marrying type Colt, it just doesn't seem to be part of your make up.”
“Well, that's probably true. It is also probably why she is divorcing me I suppose.”
“I am sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah me too.”
He asked me a couple more questions about what all I wanted to know, and then we both said our goodbyes. I had mixed feelings about the information. I was worried that she was going to forget about me, even though I knew it was impossible for me to forget about her. If she wasn't with Jax, then the question for me now was, why had she not come back or at least called?
I was unclear of the answer to that, but I was determined, now more than ever that something was going to come from this. I just wasn’t sure what yet.
