And the years passed by and Jack grew up. But Jack got accustomed to his uncle and there was nothing more he loved in his life than listening to his old uncle telling him stories. By the age of twenty Jack began to mingle with the people in the local village where his uncle lived. And naturally, a young man would get in touch in the little inn where people gathered together. Here Jack told some of the stories his uncle had told him!
Oh, the people were interested. The local people had love and respect for Jack, but behind Jack’s back they said, ‘Hey, Jack’s a good storyteller. But doesn’t he tell a pack of lies!’
And this old man says, ‘Pack of lies? Jack doesn’t tell a pack of lies; Jack tells a bag o’ lies. A real bag o’ lies.’
But they loved Jack and they loved his stories, those he was getting from his uncle and passing on to the people in the village. And when Jack walked into the local pub the young women and men, everybody expected Jack should come and tell them the stories.
So Jack continued, till one day a messenger came through the village on horseback. And he was crying out loud and carrying a piece of parchment in his hand, showing it off to everybody. The messenger dismounted at the front of the little inn, held up the parchment, the old scroll. People gathered around. What was this message coming to the village where Jack lived?
And the message said: THE TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY OF THE PRINCESS! Signed by the king, inviting all the storytellers and liars to come before the king: the king was celebrating the princess’s birthday.
And the king himself, who was a bit of a storyteller, who loved to hear stories and tales and things like that, said there was nothing more he wanted for the princess’s birthday party than to have a storytelling session. But not the kind of stories people would tell about their home life; he wanted the most fantastic stories of all! He wanted stories that were really lies. He wanted real lies. And he said he would offer a large reward to anyone who could come and tell him a story that he could not believe. But to win they must tell him something so that he, the king, would call the storyteller a liar!
But Jack wasna very interested in this.
So the people got together after the messenger had passed on to the next village. They said, ‘Jack, here, Jack! Why don’t you go and compete at the king’s tournament and the princess’s party? Why don’t you tell him one of the tales you tell us? Tell the king a lie, tell the king a good lie! You have many.’
So Jack thought to himself, maybe I could. Maybe this would be a good thing for me. Now where Jack lived was only about five miles from the palace where the king was. So he went home and told his uncle:
‘Uncle, uncle, I’ve something to tell you!’ So Jack told his uncle about the messenger coming to the village and about the king wanting to hear a storyteller who could tell a lie. He said, ‘Uncle, I know you’ve told me many lies. But, Uncle, have you told me a big enough lie that would fool the king?’
And the uncle said, ‘Well, Jack, I’ve told you an awful lot of stories, and I’m sure some of them I’ve told you would fool the king.’
But Jack said, ‘I’m not very happy. I don’t have really a good one. Uncle, tell me another one! Tell me one I could tell the king!’
‘Well, Jack,’ the uncle said, ‘if you want to – have you made up your mind to go? You must tell me the truth if you’ve made up your mind!’
Jack said, ‘I want to go! It’s the princess’s birthday.’
But the uncle says, ‘There’s something you don’t know, Jack. This king is a kind of conceited man, you know. There’s no one in the world that the king thinks better than himself. He dresses the best, he comes before the people and says he’s the best. I know about the king more than you do.’
‘Well, Uncle,’ Jack says, ‘I want to tell the king a lie!’
He says, ‘Jack, this is the lie to tell the king. You see, before you were born, Jack, I lived here with my parents. And, you see, we didna have much ground, as you know yourself, Jack. But in the East a long time ago when I was young in the ships I met an old man. And me and him got to be friends. I don’t know where the man came from. He could have been Chinese, he could have been from anywhere in the world. But he and I drank together and before we parted he gave me one grain of corn.’
And Jack’s listening carefully, you see!
‘He gave me one grain of corn,’ said the old uncle. ‘So I went and took the grain of corn from him and he told me, “Take it and plant it when you go home.” So my father and mother, who were your grandfather and granny, were alive at that time. I took the grain of corn home and just for the sake of fun I planted it. Out there, Jack, right in front of this little croft, I planted that grain. And the spring went by and I tended it and watered it to see what would come from it.’
And Jack’s listening very careful.
And the old uncle said, ‘Jack, do you know this? You’ve no idea what happened to that grain of corn! Within six months that grain of corn was higher than a pine tree, higher than a pine tree!’
Jack’s listening.
The uncle said, ‘It was into the sky sixty feet high. Then me and my father, when it was ready, we took two axes and we went out to cut it. We tried wir best to chop this one single grain down. But lo and behold the axe wouldnae take! It wouldnae even touch it. We chopped and we pushed and we chopped, but no way. So my father and me was completely exhausted. And your granny called us in for something to eat.
‘So in we went for something to eat. But when we came out, lo and behold, you’ll no believe this, Jack, son, the great stalk of corn was lying flat! There beside it stood the biggest hare that ever I’d seen in all my life. It was bigger than a donkey! It was crumping-crumping-crumping, eating the corn piece by piece. Me and your grandfather took wir axes and we rushed out and we managed to save the heads of the grain. But for the stalk, the hare had ate it. And then the hare was gone, it disappeared in the distance. Now,’ he said, ‘you go back to the king and tell the king that story!’
So, Jack being a bit of a liar thought he was going to exaggerate the truth a wee bit. He goes the next morning, takes off for the palace of the king. One by one the people came in.
‘Name?’
‘Jack.’
‘Occupation?’
‘Storyteller.’
‘Are you a liar?’ cried the attendant to the king.
‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘I’ve told a few in my time.’
‘Okay then, appear before the king!’
So they all went in to the great hall where they all sat round. And there sat the king on his throne in the middle of the floor. One by one the king called them up. And they told the king a few lies. The king listened.
He said, ‘I well believe that. I well believe that,’ said the king. ‘I well believe that.’
And one by one off they went till it came Jack’s turn. Now Jack was the last in the line. And Jack was called up before the king.
‘Name?’ said the king.
He says, ‘Jack.’
‘Occupation?’
Jack says, ‘Well, I’ve no occupation. I just live with my uncle.’
‘Storyteller? Liar?’ said the king.
‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘I’ve told a few in my time.’
‘Well,’ he said, ‘you’d better tell me a few! Tell me a lie. I’ve called you here today because this is the birthday of my daughter the princess. And I want you to tell me a lie! Young man, if I can call you a liar I’ll give you a reward. But should you fail, it’s curtains for you!’
Jack said, ‘There’s nae problem to it.’ So Jack thought.
He said: ‘King, Your Majesty the King, I live with my old uncle and I’ll tell you the truth. My parents were killed in an accident when my father boasted about his fast horse. And it went over the clift in a thunderstorm and it was killed. Then my old uncle came and collected me. I’ve lived with my old uncle ever since. He has been in many parts of the world.’
And the king said, ‘But that’s no a lie.’
‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘give me time, I’m coming to the story! My uncle told me many stories in my time.’
And Jack began to tell him the story about the grain. The king said, ‘I well believe that. There could be a little truth attached to that thing.’ But the king said, ‘And what happened to the grain?’
‘Oh,’ says Jack, ‘you’ve no idea!’
Now Jack hadn’t a clue what happened. But Jack being Jack thought he would tell the king what happened to the grain. His uncle had never told him. But Jack being a bit of a storyteller and a liar thought he could tell the king a story!
So, when Jack told the king about the hare coming eating the grain and eating the large corn stalk, and it falling, the king seemed to be interested, you see! And he says, ‘Come, come, young man, tell me, tell me what happened to the grain?’
‘Well,’ thought Jack, ‘I must make up something for the king.’ He said, ‘My grandfather and my uncle, they collected the grain after the hare had etten the stalk. And they put it in a bag. They had a secret, they had the finest grain in all the land! And they stored it away for many years. No one knew the secret of the grain.’
‘I believe that,’ said the king. ‘But tell me, tell me, young man!’ The king was getting excited:
‘Tell me what happened to the grain!’
‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘they stored it away for a long, long time. And my grandfather left it to my uncle. When I lived with my uncle he told me about it. So I said to my uncle, “Why don’t we grow it?”
‘“Oh never,” said my uncle, “we cannae grow it, Jack. We cannae grow it!”
‘But I finally convinced my uncle that we should grow the grain. So me and my uncle, we borrowed a couple of horses and ploughed the field. And we sowed the grain. And you know, Your Majesty, that grain, I watched it carefully. Kept the crows away and the birds away, out of that grain. It began to grow. I tended it carefully.’
‘I believe that,’ said the king.
Jack said, ‘Are you calling me a liar?’
‘No,’ said the king, ‘I’m no calling you a liar. In no way, I’m no calling you a liar!’
(Now as I told you – he was a very conceited king, this.)
He said, ‘Young man, I believe it. But tell me, tell me what happened!’
‘Well,’ Jack says, ‘the grain began to grow. And you know, Your Majesty, that grain began to grow like a pine forest. It was the highest and biggest grain – it was hanging with heavy peas of grain! And me and my uncle don’t know what we’re going to do with it! Oh, people came from far and wide, and they looked at it. It was like a pine forest!’
‘I believe that,’ said the king. But he said, ‘Come tell me, what happened?’
‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘Uncle said to me, we’ll have to go get special axes made because the axes we had before wouldn’t look at it. So we went to the blacksmith and got special axes made for to cut down the grain the next morning.’
The king’s listening to the story. He said, ‘Axes to cut down the corn, the corn stalks . . .’
But Jack said, ‘We got wir axes honed and sharpened in the smiddie. And the next morning my uncle and me would attack the grain. But lo and behold – we went out to the field next morning and there was a hare, the same hare – the size of a donkey!’ He said, ‘Your Majesty, you wouldn’t believe this! It was the biggest hare I ever saw in my life. It was bigger than a donkey.’
The king said, ‘Not a hare the size of a donkey?’
Jack said, ‘Are you calling me a liar?’
‘No, no, young man, I’m no calling you a liar!’ he said. ‘Carry on with your story.’
And Jack said, ‘It began to gnaw at the grain. So I said, “This is no going to happen what happened before!” I took my axe and I swung my axe at the hare. And my axe stuck in the hare’s backside. And that hare got such a fright, it went round that field, round and round the grain and the stalks of grain were falling like pine trees before a storm! Then the whole thing was flat. And my uncle stood in amazement. But that wasn’t the end of the story!’
The king said, ‘That’s hard to believe.’
‘Are you calling me a liar?’ said Jack.
‘No, no!’ he said, ‘I’m no calling you a liar.’
But Jack said, ‘Then the hare stopped and it began to nibble the grain. And I said, “Well if you cut it down you’re no going to nibble it!” So I rushed over, pulled the axe from its backside and I kicked that hare round that field! Round and round the grain I kicked that hare. And every time I hit it a kick I kicked out a king from its backside! I kicked out seven kings out of that hare’s backside. Big, strong, handsome, good-looking kings. And they stood in a row. And I’ll tell you something, Your Majesty, every one was a better king than you!’
The king said, ‘You’re telling a lie – there’s no one better than me!’
And Jack said, ‘You give me the reward!’
So Jack got the reward from the king and he made his way home to his uncle.
And Jack’s fame became far and widespread, how he had told the biggest lie to the king. Jack told all those wonderful stories to the people. The people told them to more people. And those people told them to me. I tell them to you! And that’s why today they are known as ‘Jack tales’.
This was told to me once by an old man away up in Aberdeenshire called Willie Lindsay. It came from the North-East. I never heard this story in Argyll. I can give you the basic facts the way the story was told, to keep the whole story true. But they had the Doric way of telling it, using the dialect of the people.
Hooch for Skye!
Jack stayed with his mother in this wee croft away in the west corner of Skye. And he worked around the croft here and there. So on his visits to the village he used to see this old lady at the shop, when he went to the wee shop in the store. She was always in selling eggs and things, and he fell into talk wi her one day. She asked him his name.
He said, ‘Jack, they call me.’
She said, ‘Where do you stay?’
‘I stay away down at the end of the island wi my mother.’
She said, ‘What does your mother do?’
‘My mother,’ he says, ‘has a wee croft down there.’
‘Oh aye,’ she says, ‘I ken your mother. I’ll tell you, are ye busy?’
‘No,’ he said, ‘my mother’s wee puckle hay is cut and she’s no doing very much just now.’
‘Well, look,’ she says, ‘my old sister and me stay away down at the end o’ the island, about ten miles from here. When ye go home would ye ask yer mother if she could let ye off for a couple o’ days to come down and give us a wee hand wi the hay? Because we’ve an awful crop o’ hay this year and we canna work it wirsels, seein my old sister’s gettin kind o’ bad in her legs.’
‘Okay,’ he says, ‘I’ll see my mother.’
She says, ‘I ken yer mother fine but it’s years and years since I’ve seen her.’
Very well, Jack goes away home wi his mother’s bits o’ messages. Back he goes to the wee croft, into his house and his mother says:
‘Well, laddie, ye’re home.’
‘Aye,’ Jack says, ‘I’m home, Mother. But Mother, a funny thing happened to me today down at the wee store where I was down at the shop. I met an old friend of yours, she’s an old woman.’
‘Oh,’ she says, ‘I ken who ye met up wi – old Maggie. And she has an old sister Jeannie. I’ve never seen them for years. Jack, what was she saying to ye? Ye ken, there are a lot’ o stories goes about the island about them pair.’
‘Ah, Mother,’ he said, ‘she’s a nice old woman, the nicest old woman! In fact, she wants me to come and work wi her.’
‘What!’ says the mother, ‘gang an work wi her? Well, Jack laddie, but ye can please yersel if you want to go and work with her or no. But wi the cracks and tales that I’ve heard about them – they’re supposed to be witches – the two o’ them. And if ye’re going—’
‘Mother, it�
�s for nae harm,’ he says. ‘The old woman only wants me to gang an’ work for a couple of days wi them at the hay. Ye ken I’m no doin much here.’
‘Oh well, it’s up to yersel. But,’ she says, ‘I’m telling you, you’d better just be careful and watch what they give ye to eat, and watch what they tell ye to do. And pay attention, because they’re definitely witches!’
‘Ach, Mother, witches! There’s nae such a thing as witches nowadays.’
Anyway, the next morning his mother makes him up a bit piece and that and he had a good bit to go, about ten mile o’ a walk to the end o’ the island. Away he goes, travels on and on and on; it was a lovely day, the sun was shining. He walks on, comes right down through a wee village and down to this wee croft at the side o’ the shore.
Up he goes an’ knocks at the door. The old woman comes out to him, ‘Oh, it’s you John,’ she says. (She cried him John at first.) ‘Come on in! I’m just getting my old sister up, old Jeannie, and giving her her breakfast.’ She sits him down to the table and gives him a good breakfast. She says, ‘Go round the shed there and ye’ll get a scythe.’ It was all the scythes they used in the olden days for cutting their hay. ‘And there’s a sharpening stone for sharpening it hangin in a leather case from the rafters. Ye’ll get rakes and forks an’ everything else ye need in the shed. I’ll give ye a wee shout at dinner time.’
‘All right,’ says Jack.
Jack got used to this farm working, kent all about it. It was just a wee two or three acres of hay. They kept yin cow and a puckle hens, these two old sisters; they sold eggs and things. He worked away all day, cut all this hay for them. He nearly finished it.
The old sister came out and gave him a shout, ‘Come on in, Jack! It’s about dinner time.’
In he comes, sits down. He looks. He’s never seen the other old sister before, but she’s sitting at the table. He looks at her.
‘Aye,’ Maggie says, ‘you’ve never met my sister, Jack. That’s my sister Jeannie there. She’s kind o’ deaf, she’ll no hear ye. She’s two-three years older than me. Her legs are kind o’ bad.’
Jack and the Devil's Purse Page 18
