by Gennita Low
“I wish you could stay the night.”
Hawk smiled. Amber’s voice was sleepy-sexy, muffled against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her perfume and scent appreciatively. He liked these moments with her the best—his arms around her, in semidarkness, her womanly curves somehow bonelessly soft under his body. He was very comfortable with Amber, with the way her smaller size fit against his, with the way she lazily kissed his chest while she was half asleep, like she was doing now.
“Me, too, but I have to be there earlier than Thomas.” He and the reporters had agreed that it would look better if he didn’t bring them there. “I’ll point out the girls who I think will talk to them. Most of them will, but it’s better to be careful anyway.” He paused. “I’m sorry that Lily’s upset. I didn’t mean to cause any problems between the two of you.”
“She and I will be okay. Will you IM me tonight and let me know what happens?”
“Keep doing what you’re doing and I might return and crawl back in bed with you instead,” Hawk said. She was licking his nipple, driving him crazy with that hot tongue. She bit him in response. “And then you’d start complaining about not getting your beauty sleep.”
He smiled again. They hadn’t slept much whenever he had been in this room. He had made good use of her bed, her shower, the floor—hell, the four corners of this room—and he still couldn’t get enough of her. Strange. All these months, he had females walking around him mostly naked, some practically throwing themselves on him, others in erotic situations that usually tempted the male libido, and he hadn’t felt a thing. And all Amber had to do was walk past him with that particular sway of her hips, or look at him with those amazing eyes, or even roll dough with her very talented and strong hands, and his heart would start a steady patter that would increase. He was getting used to the way all his cells seemed magnetically charged whenever she was near, his whole body leaping to an aliveness that was so razor-sharp that sometimes making love to her became a spiritual experience.
It dawned on him that the anger he held checked inside all the time wasn’t there when Amber was around. He didn’t feel helpless, unable to do what he wanted to do—stop the things happening around him. Nor did he feel cold, as if part of him died every time he stopped himself from lunging at those bastards playing with a girl young enough to be their daughter.
Amber made him feel light again. And able to feel something other than anger. He gathered her deeper into his arms.
“It’d be better than instant messaging,” she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “All you do is tease when we IM anyway. I’d rather have you here so I can do this.”
This was her teeth tugging at his nipple ring. Hawk grinned. She was insanely turned on by that little piece of jewelry. “I’ll leave that here with you tonight so you can stare at it fondly,” he offered. “I think you like it better than you do me, anyway.”
She reached down, her hand teasing him. “Oh no, I just like things that dangle.”
Hawk laughed. “Dangle? Baby, you’re hurting my feelings. It’s standing up very proudly. There’s no way it’s dangling.”
“Oh yes, standing and ready.” She looked up inquiringly. “What’s the matter?”
“Standing and Ready”—STAR—was the name and motto of the SEAL teams under the charge of Admiral Madison. When orders were given, the teams yelled out, “standing and ready” as a war cry. Of course, among the brothers, the term also applied in reference to certain anatomical functions during male locker room talk.
Hawk missed his SEAL team. Almost three and a half months without his frog brothers. And longer than that out of water. They had been in the jungles of Asia when he had left them, playing his new role as Dilaver’s guide. Hearing that phrase again made him wonder what his team was doing at the moment. He had the sudden urge to go swimming.
“Hawk?”
“Hmm?”
“Lost you for a minute there, Hot Stuff. What were you thinking?”
He wanted to tell her about his real job. He stroked her hair softly. “I was just thinking about us, and then you distracted me with that naughty hand of yours.” Maybe later. After he had retrieved the weapon. Life was complicated enough for both of them at the moment without adding yet something else to discuss and analyze, as he knew by now she would. Women liked to do that too damn much. He nudged her suggestively. “I’m standing. You ready?”
He let her roll him onto his back, taking her with him. She grinned down at him. “Such a liar. You were thinking of something else and are now trying to distract me with sex.”
She was too perceptive by far. “Is it working?”
She cocked her head, her startlingly blue eyes smiling down at him. “Remember you wouldn’t let me move before?”
He ran his hands lazily down her back to her backside, rubbing the round silkiness gently, knowing that it turned her on. “What do you have in mind?”
“It’s my turn.”
Hawk was a SEAL. He knew when it was a win-win situation. “You mean, if I don’t move, you’re going to distract me instead?”
“Yeah. And get you to tell me a deep dark secret…maybe….”
“Ahhh. Ulterior motive.” He lifted his hands from Amber’s body and cradled the back of his head. “I’m all yours, lady.”
He enjoyed her love of playing games in the bedroom. Lovemaking with her was so much more personal, always engaging him in more than the physical act, a union of both mind and body. He’d never had a partner who enjoyed giving him pleasure like she did.
“Good, now lie still while I lick you all over.”
“Oh, please, not that again.” He shuddered in mock horror. “All that wet tongue, doing all that licking.”
She pushed up, sitting on him. Her hands tiptoed up his chest, sending little shivers wherever she touched. “You know, it’d be more believable if I didn’t have this thing sticking up against my behind when you say that.” She reached behind her, giving him a long stroke that had him clenching his haunches in pleasure. “Maybe I won’t lick you all over. Maybe I’ll just lick you there.”
Minx. She knew it turned him on when she talked dirty to him. “There?” He widened his eyes mockingly. “You mean…? Surely you can’t do that!”
Her hand moved leisurely. Up and down. It took all of Hawk’s control to force his hands to stay where they were, to appear nonchalant, and to talk at the same time. He watched as Amber got on her knees and swiveled around so her back faced him. He couldn’t see what she was doing, and that made him even more excited.
“You sound like you don’t like this,” she chided.
She was now using both her hands on him, somehow massaging him in two directions at the same time. Hawk closed his eyes, trying to visualize what she was doing. The way she wrapped one hand and stroked upward over the head of his penis while pulling down had the effect of upping the pleasure quotient to an intense level. She moved again. He opened his eyes. She was up on her knees again, her sweet little ass curving toward him. Holy…He laced his fingers tightly behind his head. She leaned forward, her ass teasing him. He was going to break the bones in his knuckles.
And all the while she took her own sweet time. He couldn’t see the back of her head anymore. What was she doing, taking so damn long?
He must have made a sound. “What did you say?” she asked.
Her breath fanned the top of his arousal. That was even worse. Now he knew how close her mouth was to where he wanted it to be. “Not…h…ing,” he managed.
“Are you sure?” she asked, her lips against his rock-hard arousal. “I could have sworn I heard you say something.” He strained upward, trying to get into her mouth. She tsked-tsked. “Now, now, you said you wouldn’t move.”
So a SEAL cheated sometimes. Hawk parted his legs, which made her knees part, too. Out of balance, she fell forward the few required inches and he felt sweet wet heat suddenly gloving the head of his penis. Oh yes, thank you. He grunted with satisfa
ction.
He almost came when she tightened her grasp. Her tongue tantalized him, rolling around and around, until every muscle in his legs felt like Jell-O. He wanted to sit up. Needed to see her taking him in his mouth. He loosened his hands and was about to reach for her when her ass swayed a little as she started to get down to business and he could only stare helplessly at that sexy ass, imagining himself standing behind her.
He slid a hand between her parted legs. She was deliciously wet. He heard her gurgle of pleasure as he probed and stroked her. Her mouth started to follow his hand, stroke for stroke, until they were both moaning. He felt her trembling, slid a finger deep inside her, and felt the first wave of her orgasm hitting her. His whole being quivered like a readied arrow pulled on a bow. She tightened around his finger and her mouth suddenly took all of him even as he endeavored to keep pleasuring her.
She shuddered and her sweet release wet his hand, robbing him of the last shred of control. All sensation rushed at top speed as he let go, his own orgasm hurtling him at top speed heavenward. Her mews of pleasure were even more erotic because he was still in her mouth. Everything zeroed in on that connection. He came long and hard and her tongue prolonged it, swirling the whole length of him. He groaned. Managed to glide his finger out and up over her nub. She groaned, her mouth still refusing to let him go.
“Baby. Yeah. Like…that. All of it.”
And he gave her everything he had.
When she could move again, she flopped down next to him. “You aren’t obedient,” she complained weakly. “Talk, talk, talk.”
It took him a few minutes before Hawk’s brain could process an answer. “You said don’t move, not don’t talk,” he said. When Amber turned her head and went for his nipple ring again, twirling her tongue languidly, he laughed and added, “I promise to be better next round.”
He kept his promise and when he got up much, much later, he kissed her as she enjoyed the sleep of a satiated woman, smiling as she reached for him still. He looked down at her for a long moment, and then left the small gold nipple ring in her hand.
17
Lily crushed the half-smoked cigarette, leaning back against the windshield of her car. Everything was falling apart. Time to discard everything. Why couldn’t it remain the same?
She looked up at the night sky. It was so silent out here it made her heart ache. How many times had she stared up and made a wish? Wishes that hadn’t come true. How many times had she sat in the stillness of the night just talking to herself? Alone again. She didn’t mind. She worked better alone, anyway. She didn’t need anybody. Life had always been that way and she had accepted a long time ago that she could do without, as long as she was in control.
She wasn’t happy with the way things were turning out, anyway. She didn’t like these feelings she had about Brad. She didn’t want to think of Amber with him; somehow it angered her. It really shouldn’t. She didn’t care. Maybe he went to her that night and it was just a onetime thing, since Amber was now spending time with Hawk. She shook her head. She didn’t care.
They could all go to hell. All she cared was to make sure the girls were all right, that they were safely out of harm’s way. Dilaver was no dummy. He would find out about Amber sooner or later and then he’d be after her girls. No way was she going to let that happen.
Things fall apart. So she had to work alone again, formulate a new plan. She had done it before, reinventing herself, moving on from old to new. It was easy.
Lily sighed. She couldn’t understand why she felt so hurt inside. She had shut down the emotions that had gotten in the way of life before. It was easier. Feelings only made life painfully unbearable.
She thought of Bradford Sun sitting there looking at her with those accusing eyes. She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep for weeks. All she had to do was close her eyes and she could feel the wavy thickness of his hair as she mussed it up, the way he tasted, the way…She jerked up from her comfortable position. Stop, stop, stop. Why couldn’t she stop all this nonsense?
He haunted her, with all that golden glow, promising stupid things that she knew wouldn’t come true. She was, and would always be, on the dark side. There was only one future she knew and he wouldn’t be a part of it, no matter how she wished it.
As for Amber, she had help now. There was Brad and, of course, Hawk. She didn’t really need Lily, not for important decisions anyway. And here she had thought they were partners in this one aspect. But like all things in her life, the usual happened.
Things fall apart. And she’d better get used to being alone again, because it was happening right in front of her eyes.
Tatiana was the last straw. How could they use the poor girl like that, just so they could get their damn interview? Didn’t they see that she wasn’t ready for that kind of exposure? Speaking out to the world, revealing all the depraved things done to her—she would regret it because there was no way she could understand how her life would be like an open book, with every dirty detail for everyone to read. And when she did, it would be too late; everyone would already know how she had been used and humiliated.
Lily thought about her kidnapped sister. She would never have let her sister suffer the pain all over again. With all she had seen through these years of looking for her, she would rather cut her arm off than to make someone relive those experiences, especially when they were like Tatiana’s. She often thought about her poor sister lost in that evil world, how she secretly hoped that one of these days, she might see her among these girls that she saved.
But she couldn’t have become what she was now without being touched by some of that evil. She had done things that crossed the line. She didn’t regret it, but she’d known that when she went down that road that it would be a lonely one. She must do everything by herself. Brad, no matter how much she wanted him, was unattainable.
Her cell phone buzzed in her jacket. She was tempted not to answer it. She was just going to lie anyway. She flipped the phone open.
“Yes, it’s me,” she said, injecting a briskness in her voice, trying to sound busy. “Everything’s on the up and up, don’t worry. I’ll talk to him soon. Route? Yes, I’m busy figuring it out. It’ll take a while, what with all the roads being guarded these days. I’ll be careful. I have to go now, in the middle of something. Talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Lily thoughtfully tapped her chin with the cell phone. Well, that was painless. She couldn’t explain why she’d find it so easy to lie to some people and yet other calls gave her a headache afterward. But there was one thing the CIA had taught—she would be in control. Those girls would be safely out of the way before things fell apart between her and Amber.
Brad had always prided himself in being able to handle any situation with diplomacy. It was, after all, his area of expertise. He enjoyed being in the middle of a hurricane and being the calm eye, able to see things on all sides and take action when necessary. These were the tools that had helped him advance to where he was now, and why he had been sent here to Macedonia.
So many different factions, with so many different countries involved. Everyone had to walk on eggshells while juggling all the different balls required by each side. There was his loyalty; to do everything right and yet not make his country look bad. And there was his commitment to his beliefs, that criminals should be brought to justice.
He didn’t question anyone’s reason in choosing to act as they did. He believed that it was action that made people think, not vice versa. People started to think only when they had to cover their tracks. Someone with nothing to hide didn’t need to keep thinking about his actions, or anyone else’s.
At least, that was how he had been all these years—logical, functional, and damn fucking practical. These were the qualities he had thought were good. Yet he had somehow gotten tangled with a woman who thought the complete opposite. To her, he was utterly useless.
He smiled grimly at the memory of Lily’s earlier outburst at the safe house. They weren’t that
different—she was just as loyal, just as committed to her cause and to bringing justice, except she had the passion of someone who had been wronged.
And that revelation jolted into his awareness today—watching her, listening to her, and for once not reacting to her accusations. He sensed that she had something to hide, that there was a reason behind her actions. Hawk’s conversation with him later only reinforced the suspicion that there was more than what was on the surface. He felt that he needed to understand Lily. His mistake had been going around and around her while she kept spinning the same direction, constantly facing him. What was behind her? He had her files, but he now felt that there was something missing. And Hawk had pointed out that he had the means.
He had CIA and Europol connections, and they spied on each other. He was on the board of several UN covert agencies that gave him privy to a lot of classified information. All he had to do was contact someone with the right questions about Llallana Noretski. So far he had asked about her background, but as a citizen. She had been picked up by the CIA, and from their reports they had questioned her extensively on smuggling routes, perhaps even using her several times. She had to have made a deal with them to be able to go about so freely throughout Europe. So the question was, what deal had she made? What did the CIA have over Lily?
Brad stared unseeing at the phone for a moment before picking it up. Regular channels showed that the CIA didn’t have anything in their files, so that was a dead end. Time to collect a veza from his private contact at Europol.
“Joj! Sta jedan gomila nocas!” The young soldier, still in uniform, peered over Hawk’s shoulder, a tipsy leer on his face. “It’s packed like sardines in here. Must be a new batch of girls tonight, what do you think?”
Hawk shrugged. There seemed to be more people around tonight, but he thought it probably had more to do with the new arrivals from the UN divisions than anything else. The men always appeared cleaner-looking when they first came in and—he studied the groups of men cynically—more excited at the thought of visiting something forbidden. This was true of the really young American peacekeepers; some of them had never been to a brothel before. He could always pick them out, since they tended to come in groups, speaking English to everyone in that bold assuming way that Americans tended to have with every foreigner.
