by Deena Patel
“You are nothing like Dad. Neither of us is.” Max gently gripped my shoulders and stared into my eyes. “You aren’t doing this alone. You have us. Let us help you.”
He was right. The only people I could rely on besides Max were Arya and Milla. They’d fight beside me no matter what the situation. Thank God I had one man in my life who’d never let me down.
I nodded. “Okay.”
Another helicopter echoed in the air.
“I don’t want to leave you like this, but my ride is here.” Max kissed the top of my head. “You could always come with me.”
“No, my home is in New York City. The only reason I ever come back to Boston is to visit you guys.”
Max stepped back and moved toward the door. “The invitation is always open.” His phone beeped letting him know the crew was ready for him. “It’s time for me to go home to my wife and kids.”
I gave him a halfhearted smile. “Give them my love. Tell Ari I’ll call her later today.”
Max glanced at me as he crossed the threshold. “Think about what I said. We miss having you around, and Ari’s jealous that you got to spend time with Milla.”
“It wasn’t like we saw each other every day. She only came to see me last month so she could leave Briana with me and go on her first vacation with Lex post-baby.”
“That’s just technicalities with her.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Poor Ari. Such a hard life. She had to spend weeks with her husband and boys at her private estate in Kauai.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just the messenger. Love you, sis.”
“Love you, too.”
Max left the room, and I opened the door to where the boys played.
Two sets of vivid green eyes peered at me.
These babies were my life, and I refused to pass down the same legacy I’d inherited. As of tomorrow, I’d deal with Thomas, Christof, and whatever cards life threw at me. It was time to take back my power.
CHAPTER FOUR
Carmen?”
I looked up at Natalie and set aside a prospectus I was reviewing on a new property that MCD was considering for purchase. We’d arrived in Manhattan early in the morning, and once the boys settled in at my penthouse, I’d thrown myself into work and all the projects needing my attention.
“Yes.”
“It is almost four thirty, and the boys have just woken from their naps.” She waited in the archway of the door. “This might be a good time to get them from the nursery.”
I glanced at my watch.
Shit. Natalie was right. I’d lost track of time.
A twinge of guilt hit me as I realized I was so engrossed in work that I’d forgotten to check on the boys. From the moment of their births, I hadn’t left their side, but Natalie had insisted Simon and Leo were in good hands with Stacey, the nanny she’d hired.
Before I had the boys, I only used the New York apartment as a place to sleep. I’d spend most of my days working. But now with Simon and Leo in the picture, it was time to look for a more permanent place, a home with a backyard and neighbors. Maybe even some land to raise horses, like the estate I’d grown up on, the one Max and Arya now shared.
I sighed. “You’re right. Let me gather my things, and I’ll finish my work later this evening when the boys go down for the night.”
I also needed to remember to get a status update from Arya on any news about Christof. Ever since Max told me about what Arya discovered, I was determined to make sure nothing would taint me in the eyes of my children.
“I told Stacey to come back around eight.”
I scrunched my brow but continued to collect my things. “Why?” I asked.
“You have to attend the AlySas charity gala.”
There goes my chance to do any extra work.
The organization technically belonged to Arya and Milla. They’d created it in remembrance of the two daughters Arya had lost when she was younger. The foundation’s goal was to help women in developing nations learn skills to sustain the lives of their families.
Annoyed, I put a hand on my hip. “Tell Arya to go. I’ve covered for her for the past year and a half.”
Natalie raised a brow. “You need a night out. Leave after the kids fall asleep, but go out.”
“The last thing I want to do is hobnob with a bunch of pretentious gala hoppers.”
“They are your people. Remember?” Natalie said with a smirk.
I frowned and shook my head. “Please don’t remind me.”
The “New York elite,” as many liked to consider themselves, were from generationally wealthy families. Most could trace their heritage back to the Mayflower. My great-great-great-grandparents came over on a Dutch ship a few years after. They developed a fortune far greater than all the “elite” put together.
“I’ve spent most of my life avoiding them, and I’d rather spend hours listening to someone recite the boring sections of the encyclopedia,” I mumbled as I picked up my coffee cup and drank the last of my brew.
Natalie chuckled. “I wouldn’t know since I’m the ‘hired help.’” She quoted using her fingers and laughed again.
“You know all their little secrets. I fear for them if they ever crossed you.”
The lightened mood relaxed me. I set my mug down and packed the last of my papers in my bag.
“Please,” I begged, “tell Arya to go. I just don’t have the energy to face the questions.”
Natalie nodded. She understood my reservations. “You’re going to have to face them sooner or later. And I double-checked: Arya is going to come down from Boston when Max is out of the country on business.”
“You could have told me that from the start.” I glared at her, and she returned my disgruntled gaze.
“You need a night out, Carmen. I don’t like seeing you like this. There’s more to life than just work and the boys.”
“An evening at a gala isn’t my idea of a fun night out.”
God, how long had it been since I went out? The last time I remembered doing anything remotely fun was the night I helped Milla and Lex get back together after they’d separated.
“Well, if the gala isn’t your cup of tea, then go to the club.”
Club? Did I just hear her correctly?
Natalie knew little about my lifestyle, so I never expected her to tell me to visit the club. Well, we never discussed it before anyway.
“I…um…Nat?”
She lifted her hand to keep me from babbling in speech worse than my boys. “I raised you, Carmen. I may not understand your needs, but I’ve always known what you were into.”
“Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Because sexuality is a private thing, and it wasn’t my place to tell you how to feel. You’d had enough people turn your world upside down. I wasn’t going to judge you for seeking out something that gave you a sense of control.”
“Thank you, Nat.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. Until today, she’d never mentioned anything before, but her unconditional support meant so much to me.
I’d kept the kink part of my world private for most of my life, especially from the societal elite. Only others in the community, which included my closest friends, knew about my preferences. It wasn’t until my first year of college that I discovered the kink community.
It was a few months after Dad’s embezzlement had become public knowledge and my life felt out of control. The few friends I’d had, with the exception of a handful of people that included Milla, had all but disassociated themselves from me. No one wanted to be around the daughter of someone who swindled nearly forty billion in assets.
One night Milla took it upon herself to show up at my apartment on campus to drag me out of my self-imposed isolation for a night out on the town.
I expected her to take me to a dance club, but it turned out to be a fetish club.
I still remembered Milla’s words as we walked into the building.
“I’ve wanted to bring yo
u here for years. I think tonight you may find a piece of yourself that you never knew lived inside you.”
Initially, I was shocked. I’d never known this type of thing even existed. It fascinated me, from the very first scene I observed. I’d felt the pull the submissive had toward her Dom and loved seeing the control the dominant partner possessed. It was a melding of minds, with control being the gift given between them.
I’d wanted that control and, from that day forward, spent all my free time learning from any Master or Mistress willing to teach me.
“I mean it, Carmen. You should go to Dominion after the gala. It can be your reward for enduring the company of snobs.”
“How do you know the name of my club?” I couldn’t hide the surprise from my voice.
She lifted a brow as if I’d asked a stupid question. “I do read the documents I handle for you and Max. My skills aren’t solely utilized for filing. Who’s the one who made sure six of your establishments passed inspection while you were away?”
“Sorry.” I winced. “I deserved that. My only excuse is that I just assumed you didn’t pay attention to that part of my and Max’s businesses.”
Natalie cocked a hand on her hip. “Now, back to the subject at hand.”
“I’m not sure if I’m ready.” I moved to the door.
Natalie stepped in front of me. “Go have fun. Stop thinking for one night. There is nothing that says you can’t enjoy yourself even in the midst of chaos.”
I nodded my agreement and walked toward the elevator leading to my penthouse. Natalie may have very limited knowledge about my lifestyle, but her stance on things and advice were better than a seasoned Mistress.
I slowed for a second and covered the sudden ache deep in my stomach.
What if I wasn’t who I thought I was? Especially after what happened between Thomas and me.
I shook the thought from my mind. That was an experiment, which went horribly wrong, nothing more.
I will never submit to any man again.
Natalie was right.
I needed an evening out. A night where a slave honored me with his submission would help me regain my bearings, while helping me lay to rest the submissive side of my desires only one man knew about.
I pushed the access code for the elevator and smiled to myself.
Mistress Carmen was back.
* * *
I peered out the floor-to-ceiling windows of the elegant ballroom of the Mandarin Oriental, New York, trying to ignore all the curious glances and speculations about why I was dateless and where I’d spent the last year.
For the past three hours, I’d maintained my calm exterior even though inside I was ready to punch the next person who asked me about my personal life. No one straight out said anything offensive, but the questions about motherhood and family kept coming up.
The one thing they wanted to know but were too polite to ask was who my boys’ father was. I carefully navigated those conversations to foundation business.
I bet if I were a man, no one would dare ask me personal questions like those. Everything would revolve around the endeavors of the charity, nothing more.
Being around this crowd makes you bitchy, Carmen.
I shook my head and continued to gaze at the glow of the lights in Central Park. Hopefully, I’d get a few more minutes to myself before the gracious goodbyes started.
“Ari, you owe me big-time,” I muttered to myself.
No matter how much I begged, Arya refused to fly down for the charity gala. She ignored every plea I’d made about her being better at getting the big donors to loosen their purse strings. The girl had the magic touch of getting even the stodgiest and most miserly wallet to open for her causes.
I couldn’t blame Arya for avoiding the event. She hated these things as much as I did, and public speaking nauseated her.
I opened my clutch to check if any messages had come in while I was at dinner.
There was a message from Caitlin, one of my dear childhood friends. She was the “it” designer everyone in the fashion world was raving about.
Hey, woman. Heard through the grapevine that you’re heading to Dominion tonight after the charity thing. I’ll meet you there. I need a break and I also learned you’re taking a sub for a scene. Don’t you dare start anything until I get there and have a front-row seat.
Well, hell. No getting out of this now. Someone must have seen my name on the club roster and spread the news.
I was relieved Caitlin would be there. My first public scene in three years would be easier knowing a person I respected was cheering me on. Plus, she had an uncanny ability to help me relax and become less stiff, as she liked to call it.
But first I had to get through the formal farewells. If I were lucky, I’d get it over with in less than twenty minutes.
I slipped my phone back in my purse, turned, and then came to an abrupt stop.
“Hello, Ms. Dane. I hear you and your friend are looking for me,” a man with a heavy Russian accent said as he smiled at me.
Christof!
I stared into the ice-blue eyes of the one man I knew would think nothing of killing me in front of hundreds of people. He held the striking beauty of a fallen angel. Even though I knew he was in his midforties, he looked no older than someone in his early thirties.
His eerie resemblance to Andrew disturbed me. I’d seen a handful of surveillance images over the last few years, but the impact of him in person made an indescribable fear encompass my body. Maybe it was the bone-deep evil I sensed under the polished façade.
My hands shook as I tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
“I’m sorry. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
“Oh, come now, Ms. Dane. We may have never met in person, but you and your friends have played a heady game of chess with me for over ten years. Let’s do this formally, then.” He reached out and lifted my hand to his lips.
The urge to snap my hand back tugged at me, but I remained calm.
“I am Vladimir Christof. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”
“What…what do you want from me?”
He gave me a calculating perusal, continuing to grip my hand, making it clear I wasn’t to pull away. “Oh, there are many things I want from you, but this is about what you can offer me.”
“I have nothing to give you.”
“I know your secrets, Ms. Dane. You’d do anything to keep the taint of your father’s crimes from affecting your life. What would you do to keep your children from living with the same shame? Would you sacrifice your safety and reputation for your sons?”
At that moment, he’d all but confirmed my suspicions about the missing money from the foundation. My gut had been right. I really hoped the girls had pinpointed how to get the money back into the organization’s accounts.
“Don’t you dare threaten my sons. I don’t care who you are.” I kept the fear out of my voice, keeping it cool. “Nothing you can do to me will make me sacrifice my children.”
“Ah, there’s the passion I knew existed under that calm and collected veneer. I’m not threatening your boys. I’m making you aware of what’s at stake.”
“I fail to see the difference. I have nothing to offer you. I would cut my losses, if I were you. I’m not one of your weak flunkies who do your bidding.”
I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. Now if the fucker would let go of my hand.
Christof laughed. “You are a worthy adversary, Ms. Dane. I believe I was mistaken to focus my attention on your sister-in-law. You are exactly the type of woman who would keep things interesting. I look forward to seeing it during more intimate circumstances.”
“In your dreams. Now if you’ll excuse me.” I pulled my hand free and took a step to leave, but he caught my wrist, his gaze boring into mine.
“Ms. Dane, your steel spine will only get you so far. You have the means to make restitution for the many losses I’ve incurred over the past few years, including the unfortunate
circumstance with my brother.”
“I’ve done nothing to you that wasn’t due to your obsession with us.” I gritted out my words. This man was crazy. “You need to let me go before I have you arrested.”
“You came here without your security. By the time you contact them, I’ll be gone.”
“You’re a bastard.”
“Yes. Then again, so was your father. Remember the consequences of that. Expect instructions soon.”
He released my wrist and strode into the crowd.
CHAPTER FIVE
CRACK!
The sound of a fire whip echoed in one of the dark playrooms of Dominion, the private BDSM club I owned on the outskirts of Long Island.
A naked male submissive moaned as the leather singed his skin, leaving a light white-and-red line across his back.
Coming here was the perfect distraction from my unexpected encounter with Christof. After he’d left me, a numb haze had surrounded me. I couldn’t believe a wanted international terrorist was walking around Manhattan without a care in the world. He had no fear of being recognized or caught.
Once the fog cleared long enough to let me walk to my car, I couldn’t help but reprimand myself for my stupidity in coming to the gala alone or in not asking my security to wait outside the event.
As the car pulled out of the hotel, I’d dialed my contact at the FBI, but then immediately hung up. If Christof knew I was without my security detail, then he’d have tabs on everyone else in my life. I’d have to wait until I could find a secure line.
My first instinct was to go home, canceling my announced scene at the club. But then if Christof was watching me, he’d know he’d hit the mark with his comments about the boys. I refused to let him have even a minor victory against my psyche.
Thank God my boys were tucked into bed, surrounded by the impenetrable safety net Arya had created around my penthouse. I thought all the security was an overkill when she’d first implemented the technology shield, but now I was so grateful.
Standing next to me outside one of the playrooms at Dominion, Lex Duncan ran a hand through his blond hair. “I can’t believe you agreed to this, Carm.”
