by Piper Lawson
Especially when his hip presses against mine, his bicep bumping my shoulder under the too-small blanket.
I want him to leave.
I want him to never leave again.
When I lean forward an inch, he takes the invitation, shifting me so he can slide behind.
I’m lying against his chest, feeling his warmth through my back. My heart’s hammering, ticking like the seconds.
I try to focus on Robert Downey Jr. I swallow a sigh and resist rubbing my cheek against Tyler’s chest.
But all I can think is how over the past few weeks, Tyler’s built me up, made me good, made me strong…
Then in an instant, he tore it all away.
17
“Six,” I murmur when the credits roll. “You asleep?”
No answer.
Jax hogs half of the sectional. I can’t be annoyed, because he’s the reason Annie’s breath warms my chest through my undershirt, that her hand’s wrapped around my wrist, that her legs are curled over mine.
I stop the movie and scoop her up, blanket and all, and carry her down the hall. We make it up the stairs, and I hope she doesn’t have any shit on her floor so I don’t trip as I carry her through the dark and set her on her bed. I flick on the light on her bedside table, its glow casting shadows on the purple wall behind her headboard.
Tonight’s been a mindfuck, and it’s fitting I’m the only one awake for it.
I did the right thing by protecting her. Right now, it’s hard to believe.
The closet door is ajar, so I step inside. The first thing in it is a garment bag.
I tug down the zipper, and the purple dress inside twists my guts another sharp turn.
After spending the evening at prom with Carly, I didn’t think my night could get any worse.
But the look on Annie’s face gutted me.
There’s a real possibility Annie will never forgive me.
She wanted to go tonight. I would’ve given almost anything to take her.
Except I couldn’t take her—for a million reasons that now seem ridiculous.
Her dad, this thing with Carly—none of it matters when I cross the room and look at her.
She’s rich, and I’m poor.
She feels everything, and I guard my emotions.
She’s aching to be seen, and I long to be left alone.
My chest hurts when I’m with her and even more when I’m not, and I don’t know how the hell to live my life when it feels inextricably linked with hers.
Annie shivers, and I pull the covers up over her.
“I know you’re upset with me,” I murmur. “But I need things to be okay with us. Because if they’re not, if you’re not…” I shove both hands through my hair, at a loss to finish that sentence. “What you said about me wanting to control things—you’re right. But the thing I hate more than losing control is the thought of you hurting when I could fix it.”
My name on her sleepy lips has me leaning over the bed.
“Did you dance with her?” she mumbles.
I have a sudden urge to trace the curve of her lower lip with my finger but settle for brushing aside a piece of hair that’s falling across her face. “Yeah.”
“Did you kiss her?” Annie’s fingertips graze my bicep.
I swear it’s an accident until they linger. Then they drift up, over my chest.
My muscles leap in response, and I suck in a shallow breath. “Yes.”
Her touch moves down my chest, tracing the lines of my pecs as if drawing me through her closed eyes.
The only things between us are her thin tank top and my shirt. When her fingers reach my abs, my eyes nearly roll back in my head.
“Did you fuck—”
“No. Never.”
It’s not a statement—it’s a plea for everything to be okay, to go back to the time before I realized how much she meant, how high the stakes got when I wasn’t looking.
I can resist her innocent exploration, at least until her hand finds the hem of my shirt. When her fingers graze the bare skin over my clenched abs, right above the waistband of my pants, I want to growl.
Tonight’s a war of emotions. My dick has no business being in this game, but I can’t help it.
It wants her.
I want her.
Both of us are sick of holding back.
When she speaks again, her voice is steady, her words a vow.
“She can’t have you.”
My lips brush the shell of her ear. I love the way she shivers. “Why’s that?”
“Because you’re mine.”
I stop breathing.
I’ve told a lot of lies to survive, but the biggest one is that I can keep my distance from her.
I did something tonight, and I can never take it back. I’d go to war for Annie Jamieson, on this and any other day. Whatever I am, I would lay it down to protect her.
Whatever pieces are left of me after tonight, they’re hers to collect, to catalogue, to keep in a bottle.
Silently, I cover her mouth with mine.
Her softs lips part with the slightest pressure, as if she was waiting for me to ask, waiting to welcome me in.
Her light, floral scent is making my senses swim, deepening the conviction that I can’t survive another second without this girl in my arms.
I taste her mouth, explore her, mark her as mine.
She not only lets me, she moans when I do it.
You’re mine.
I lose it, the last of my control snapping. I unleash the need and desperation I’ve repressed for way too long.
My hand tangles in her hair on the pillow, and I tear my mouth from hers to trace her jaw, the sweet arched curve of her neck. The skin that would’ve been revealed by that sexy fucking dress in the closet, the one she bought to wear for me.
“Forgive me,” I bite out. It’s not a request, it’s a demand. My teeth drag along her collarbone, and she arches against my lips.
“No.”
But she pulls me closer.
I shift over her, straddling her while I bring my mouth back to hers as if I can persuade her with my lips, if not my words.
She’s fully awake now, meeting each slide of my lips and stroke of skin with one of her own.
And I sure as fuck respond.
I drag the covers down and roll her so she’s on top, my greedy hands yanking her hips against mine. The softness between her thighs is torture. I want to taste her, to take her, to bury myself in her and shut out the world until I’m good and satisfied.
“That feels so good. Don’t stop.” Her sleep-filled voice is colored with arousal.
My greedy mouth trails down the front of her tank top, the subtle valley between her breasts. She arches against me like she can’t get enough.
This? I want to say.
This is nothing.
The things I’ll do to this girl.
“I’ll keep going if you forgive me.”
Her sigh makes my cock twitch. “Someday.”
“Now.” My teeth scrape along her skin, and she gasps.
“When you never leave me again.”
My heart aches, but I laugh through it as I slide a hand under her tank top, my breath hitching as I graze the curve of her breast.
It’s strange how her strength makes me give but her softness makes me rough. Fierce. Damned devout.
“You realize unless I stay with you until the day we die, it’s impossible to fulfill that promise.”
She pulls back long enough to look down into my face, her hair hanging in a curtain around us. “Perfect.”
My heart hammers against my back as I soak in the sight of her, flushed and beautiful and wanting.
I shift up on one elbow and cup her in my hand. The softness of her is unreal, even before I rub a thumb across her nipple. She moans, loud, and I drag her mouth back to mine to swallow the sound.
If it carries down the hall, it’ll ruin all of this. All of us.
“I could make you for
give me right now,” I murmur against her lips once she’s quiet again. “I could touch you until you’re only mine, always mine. You’d never come again without seeing my face, fucking hearing my words.”
My voice is urgent, and she blinks down at me, her lips swollen and cheeks flushed.
“Yeah. You could.”
The truth of that hangs between us.
It takes every ounce of control in me to shift out from under her and cross to the door.
“You said you wouldn’t leave.”
Her whisper has me turning to see her propped up on her elbows, hair wild, eyes bright.
I open the door and stare down the hall.
Jax and Haley’s room is at the other end of the hall, and Sophie’s in between.
Nothing. Darkness. Silence.
All of that could change in a heartbeat.
I shut the door.
Then strip off my shirt, my pants.
The wariness on her face is replaced with hunger as her gaze drops to the obvious tent in my boxer briefs.
I laugh through my clenched jaw. “Yeah, that’s not what tonight’s for.”
Most promises are made to be broken, but I push that from my mind because I can’t entertain any more dark thoughts.
I lay down beside her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before I nudge her to face the other way.
Then I wrap my arms around her so her back warms my chest and her ass nestles against my aching cock.
I drag the covers over us, a flimsy wall of protection against the harsh world.
The world can go fuck itself.
Tonight, the sheets are our shield.
And this girl is my heart.
18
Birds outside my window wake me. I glance at the clock and realize it’s almost eleven in the morning. But something feels off, and I roll over and realize why.
Tyler is in my bed.
Last night comes rushing back.
My emotions are in tatters from him leaving and coming back. From everything I’ve made it mean.
But he’s here now. He came back. He stayed.
I was enough for Tyler. I am enough for this boy I want to drag from the shadows, live in the light with.
I shift up onto an elbow. Why does he have to be so beautiful?
I lean over him and run a hand through his hair, soaking in every part of his face.
That’s nowhere near enough to satisfy me, so I bend closer, inhaling his scent. My lips brush his jaw, the stubble decadently rough against my skin.
“Stop that.” His voice is a sleepy groan that vibrates through me, settling between my thighs.
I grin. “No.”
I continue the exploration, moving down his neck, his collarbone, the curve of his shoulder.
My hand brushes his cut stomach where his undershirt’s ridden up, and a tug of desire pulls between my thighs.
Biting my lip, I press my palm to that skin, slide it up an inch under the hem of his shirt. I curl closer into him, taking a deep inhale at his neck, memorizing his scent.
“I mean it.”
There’s a warning edge this time.
I like Warning Edge Tyler, especially when he’s in my bed.
“Why?”
He rolls me over so he’s on top, and my heart thuds in my chest as he stares down at me.
He might be half-awake, but he’s all man, all power, all strength.
All sexy.
“Because then I’m gonna have to get you back.”
I want that so bad.
“I’m still mad at you,” I breathe.
“I’d be disappointed if you weren’t.”
His touch skims down my side. Then his mouth lowers to mine.
We’re so close to kissing when he pulls back. “We can’t keep this up,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Yes, we can.” I tip my face up, straining, and he covers my mouth with a hand.
I glare at him.
“Your dad and Haley are down the hall. We’re lucky we didn’t get caught.”
I press my lips to his palm, the same palm I read at that carnival three years ago.
His grip loosens, and I take advantage, kissing down his fingers.
“I don’t care,” I say when there’s enough room to speak, “I’d tell them it wasn’t your fault. That since the moment I walked in on you naked, I was lost to the world.”
I pull the tip of his finger into my mouth.
Tyler’s jaw clenches, and he lets out the most delicious groan.
I suck harder, and his hips shift over mine until I feel him between my legs.
Oh, shit. Yes, please.
I felt him against my ass last night, but it wasn’t enough.
Nowhere near.
“You want me to make you scream under your Dad’s roof,” he rasps.
I release his finger with a pop, my head swimming. “Or the pool house. I’m not picky.”
He tosses a pillow at me, and I laugh.
“I’m serious,” he presses, a look of fascination on his face. “Tell me what you think it’d be like.”
I stare at him. “Beautiful. Reckless. Undeniable. Painful, not because it’s my first time, but because everything with us seems to—“
“We’re done here.” He shifts off the bed, reaching for his tux pants on the floor.
I shoot up in bed. “Because I’m a virgin?” I try to sound dismissive but can’t quite hide the vulnerability underneath. “That’s discrimination on the basis of sexual experience.”
He rounds on me, and I’m pressed back against the sheets.
“Because no matter how long we’ve been friends, when we fuck…” His voice is a dangerous promise. “I will take you apart. And when I’m done, you’ll beg for me to do it again.”
His wolfish smile is feral. His finger hooks in the waistband of my pajama pants and tugs it for a brief, beautiful moment of possibility before releasing it to snap back against my stomach.
I’m speechless.
I’m never speechless, but I am now, and Tyler seems to think it’s cute because he drops a smug kiss at the corner of my mouth before rising again.
My phone buzzes on the dresser, and I jump.
* * *
Pen: Are we still meeting to study?
* * *
Shit. I forgot.
Movement by the window has me dropping the phone. “What are you doing?”
“Leaving.” Tyler lifts the window frame.
I trip across the room. “You’re not going out that way.”
He swings one leg out before pausing to cock a dark brow at me. “You want me to walk out of your room and through the house? Past your dad and Haley?” Each word is said matter-of-factly, but I’m starting to catch on. “We’re cool, but we’re not that cool.”
I stick my head out the window, looking down nervously at the garden one level down.
“Good thing there aren’t roses on this side of the house,“ he says.
“I was thinking I hope there aren’t any music box pieces.”
Tyler swings the other leg out, chuckling. “To be continued,” he murmurs before dropping down.
“Tyler?” I call when he hits the ground.
He looks up at me, expectant, and I bite the inside of my cheek.
“I like you,” I say over the racing of my heart. “A lot. Maybe even more than cheese fries.”
His eyes crinkle at the corners. “I like you a lot too, Six.”
“Are you okay?” Pen asks as she sinks into the seat across from me at the café. “I saw Tyler at prom with Carly. He said it was to save your ass, and—”
“I know. And it was.”
Pen shifts forward, lowering her voice. “What the hell?”
I explain about the letter from my mom, and her face looks more and more shocked. “Are you going to contact her?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I admit.
“And you and Tyler…”
“We’re good, I think.
”
“If he hurts you, I’m going to cut off his balls.”
I grin. “You’re the best.”
Tyler’s letting me in. I felt it last night. But it comes with a price. Every time he lowers that shield and I get further inside, the world that’s not him gets a little blurrier, a little more out of focus.
“How was prom with Brandon?”
Her mouth curves. “It was unexpected… and nice, aside from the whole Tyler thing. The prom part and after.”
“Wait. You fucked Brandon Bowers last night?”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s a huge deal. Was he? A huge deal?”
Pen laughs. “Yes, and he was really sweet.”
I hang on every word, truly happy for my friend.
“All right. Enough about boys. How’s your essay for Columbia?”
I make a face. “I started it. I wondered if they had a performing arts minor. I’ve been putting so much into this musical, and now that it’s really mine, I want more.”
With the window for my application essay in the background on my computer, I do some searching online.
Vanier looks incredible. The acceptance process is rigorous, the odds of being admitted dismal.
But the tug of fascination won’t go away.
“Look who it is.”
My head snaps up as Carly and her minions cross the café to hover over our table.
“How was prom?” I smile. “Your date looked hot.”
“Hope you enjoyed watching him walk out the door.”
“Not as much as I enjoyed watching him walk back in.”
Her face turns purple. She knows what Tyler did but won’t admit it, not in front of her crew. “Too bad you missed the dance, Little Virgin.”
I bite my lip. “The after-party more than made up for it.”
Her hand tightens on the strap of her bag. I want her to know he’s mine. She never had a shot, and now she never will.
“We’re not done,” she breathes. “This thing between us isn’t over until opening night.”
I reach for my tea. “You know what, Carly? I honestly wanted you to like me once. I thought if I did the right thing, you’d approve of me. I’d fit in.”
Her brows pull together in surprise.
“But your family isn’t perfect either,” I continue, thinking of the whispered rumors about her dad’s addiction, her mom’s affairs.
