by Terry Brooks
Mirai looked at him questioningly, then lifted her head to look about. Woostra, sensing her movement, did the same. Together they rose and stood peering through the lessening gloom, trying to decide if all was indeed safe again, if the creature was truly gone.
“The next time this happens,” Woostra said finally, “I can promise you I will be staying below.”
When the searchers appeared abruptly from the west, trudging sodden and discouraged out of the damp and dark, all three hurried out to greet them.
Challa Nand lounged against the aft rail next to the boy as Austrum and his Rover companions ran up the sails on the Quickening and prepared to get under way. With the storm beginning to slow and the heavy weather to move on, the Troll had advised that there was no reason for further delay and every reason to get the airship aloft, regardless of the fact that it was still deep into the night.
“That creature was some sort of mountain lizard,” he advised, looking out into the new day’s persistent gloom as if he might still catch sight of it. “A Wynendot or a Spurken, one of those sorts. There’s not all that many of them left, but this far north you have to be wary. I thought we were still south of their range, but apparently not.”
The search party had returned embittered, frustrated, and empty-handed, just as the Troll had anticipated they would. They had found no trace of the missing men, although at least they hadn’t lost any more. Skint and Challa Nand had managed to keep the rest of them safe while they floundered around looking for their fellows.
“The lizard took them during the storm,” the Troll advised. “It has a long tongue—very adept at snagging food—so it probably happened pretty quickly. The storm must have hidden their screams. There wasn’t much anyone could have done. It was just bad luck it found the ship in the first place.”
Then he looked over at Railing. “It was good luck, though, that you kept your wits about you when it came back for a second helping. Those lizards are very aggressive. If you’d tried to defend yourself, it would have come at you, and you would have had to kill it—if you could have managed it, and that’s far from certain. Better that you didn’t try at all. Using the magic to hide yourself, the scribe, and the girl was the right choice. That was quick thinking.” Then he paused. “But how did you know it was there? You couldn’t see a hand span in front of your face.”
“I sensed it.” Railing gave him a look. “I just did.”
“Hmmm.” The Troll considered and then shrugged. “You are a constant source of fresh surprises.”
“I’m just getting by the best I can.”
“As are we all.” The Troll pushed back from the rail. “We’re down two men. More, if you count the old Rover. I don’t like how he looks, by the way. So you have a choice. Do we continue on or turn back? Let’s hear you say it out loud.”
Railing never hesitated. “Continue on.”
“As I suspected.” Challa Nand began walking away. “Don’t forget to let me know when you’re ready to tell me the rest of what you’re hiding.”
Railing scowled. The Troll was as persistent as Mirai.
They released the lines and lifted off shortly after, turning into the heart of the Charnals and setting a course northwest through the maze of peaks. Standing at the bow a short time later, Railing stared out across a dark sea of mountains that reached to the horizon and, for all he knew, to the end of the world. Mist capped the peaks; overhead the skies remained black and clouded, although small windows of starlight could be glimpsed here and there along the horizon. The mountains glistened with snow at their higher elevations and with the damp of the storm farther down. All of it had an eerie, shadowed look, but also seemed hard-edged and immutable.
With Farshaun still lying below, injured and incapable of taking the helm, Mirai and Austrum shared that duty throughout the dark of the night. Railing offered to help, but Challa Nand suggested he might be more useful keeping watch from the bow. He could sense things the rest of them could not; that was clear enough from tonight’s events. If any other dangers awaited them, he might be able to warn them.
So the boy spent the rest of the night standing against the forward rail, casting surreptitious glances back at the pilot box to see if Mirai and Austrum were spending time together. No one seemed able to sleep, too keyed up from the night’s events, and he could not seem to help himself; his jealousy was undiminished. Even though she had called the Rover stupid for insisting on searching for his missing men, Railing could not shake the feeling that she continued to be attracted to Austrum and that her infatuation was undermining their own relationship. In spite of the fact she had told him, bluntly, that friendship was as much as he had the right to expect, he still harbored hopes for something more. How could he not? He had loved her for as long as he could remember—he dismissed the fact that Redden had loved her, too, because it didn’t seem to him that his brother had loved her quite so much—and it had always seemed to him that she was responding to his feelings, reciprocating in her own way.
But not since Austrum had appeared. Not since his dramatic rescue of the company in the Fangs and the way he had brazenly kissed Mirai. That had changed everything.
He stayed at his post as the damp returned in a fine mist that soon morphed into a steady drizzle. Challa Nand had already determined they would keep flying through the night, weather permitting; setting down in these mountains had proved entirely too dangerous given the nature of the creatures that lived here and the terrain they inhabited. Better to stay above it all, the big Troll admonished when Railing had suggested it might be safer not to fly through mountains in the pitch-black. Better to take your chances with things that never moved than with things that never stopped moving.
Railing stepped away from his post at last, unable to stand it another minute, relinquishing the helm to Mirai. Then he went down into the hold to see if Farshaun Req was awake.
After stopping to speak with Aleppo first, Railing moved over to the old man and knelt by his side. He was, indeed, awake. Those stillsharp eyes found him in the gloom, and a brief smile crossed his lips. “I thought you had forgotten about me.”
“No one could ever forget about you.” Railing bent close. “You look a little worse for wear.”
“I don’t feel all that good, either. Where are we?”
“Somewhere inside the Charnals, flying northwest toward the Klu. I hope.”
Farshaun nodded. “Mirai says you saved her life tonight. Again. Maybe you saved us all. You’re becoming good at that. You saved me back there in the Fangs, remember?”
Railing shook his head in denial. “We saved each other, you and me. We were warriors, weren’t we?”
“I’m not much of a warrior anymore. I’m just tired.”
The boy didn’t like the sound of the old man’s breathing, harsh and uneven, as if he was struggling to use his lungs. Railing wished he had taken time to learn how to use the wishsong’s magic to heal, as others in his family had done. But he had not, and trying anything with Farshaun now was too dangerous. “Can I get you something to eat or drink? Are you taking the medicine Mirai’s been giving you?”
Farshaun grunted. “Oh, that girl thinks a potion or an ointment is the answer to everything, but she’s just making it up as she goes. It’s age and nothing else.”
“It’s arrows in your chest and arm and loss of blood. You really are a stubborn old man.”
Farshaun laughed weakly. “Always was. Just kept it hidden until I got old enough to admit it.” He coughed, and there was blood on his lips. “You listen to me. That girl, she’s worth a dozen of you or me. She’s got grit and determination that hasn’t even been scratched in other people. She’s got heart. And she loves you.”
Railing stared. “No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t even like me much.”
Farshaun reached out and took hold of his wrist. “You don’t see things the way I do, Railing. Not about this, or about Redden, either. You’ve got no distance from these matters. You’re too close to
them. Just step back and take another look.”
“She likes Austrum just now.” He was uncomfortable with this whole discussion. “He’s the one she wants.”
Farshaun released his wrist. “You think that way if you want. No one can tell you anything, can they? Go on and get back to your post. I need to sleep. I’m too tired to think now. We’ll talk again in the morning.”
Railing took the old man’s hand and squeezed gently. Then he lay the hand back on the other’s pallet, rose to his feet, and stood looking down at the already sleeping man.
Come back in the morning? He would be back in an hour. Maybe less. Farshaun was failing.
He climbed the ladder to find Mirai and tell her so.
5
Sometime just before dawn, Farshaun Req died.
He did so quietly, making no fuss or sounds of distress or efforts to save himself. His passing did not awaken Mirai, who was sleeping right next to him. When she opened her eyes the following morning and looked over at him, his face was calm and peaceful. He seemed, she told Railing, as if he had just decided it was time. As if he had fallen asleep in mute acceptance of the inevitable and drifted away.
All of which did little to assuage her grief. She was inconsolable all that morning, distancing herself from everyone. She took her turn at the helm and worked the lines with the Rovers, but kept herself apart as she did so. She cried constantly and didn’t bother to hide it. Railing saw her in tears more times than he cared to think about, but when he tried to approach her, she quickly turned away.
Later on he saw her with Austrum, standing together near the pilot box, her head buried against his chest while he held her, his arms wrapped tightly about her. Railing felt so helpless and ruined in that moment that he could barely breathe. He turned away at once, but the damage was done. He’d seen enough to know what was happening. He guessed he had always known.
But he was sensible enough not to ask her about it. People handled grief in their own way, and it was mostly a private matter. As it was, he had his own grief to deal with, and it was a complicated and debilitating process. He was riddled with guilt by what he now perceived as his failure to save the old Rover. Farshaun Req had been like a father to him, had mentored him as an airman, and had stood by him through everything that had happened since they had set out from Bakrabru all those weeks ago.
It was his fault, no matter how you looked at it, that Farshaun was dead. It was his insistence on making this journey that was responsible.
He stewed on it for the rest of the morning while going through the motions of whatever his tasks required of him, speaking a few words here and there when necessary, accepting condolences, listening to tributes, all of it a jumble of words that felt more like accusations.
The Rovers had wrapped Farshaun in a section of sailcloth and placed him belowdecks in the cold locker at the stern of the airship. Because they wanted to bury him and mark his grave, they had to fly on for a time to find a spot where this was possible. It might take them until evening, Challa Nand advised. But the body would keep well enough in the cold locker until then.
“You should say something when we lay the old man to rest,” Skint said to Railing at one point. “You were close to him; you meant something to him. He would want you to speak for him. More so, I think, than any of the Rovers.”
Or he would prefer Mirai, Railing had thought at the time. She loved the old man, too—maybe more than Railing did. It seemed to him that she might do the better job of it. At least she wouldn’t be burdened with the guilt he carried. At least she wouldn’t have to speak the words and know she could have done something to prevent the need for them.
But now, having seen her with Austrum, he wasn’t sure he could ask her anything. He wasn’t sure he could even speak to her without finding a way to turn it into an attack. All he could think about—when not dwelling on his guilt for Farshaun’s death—was how much he wished that Austrum had never come into their lives and how badly he wanted Mirai back again, whatever the nature of the accommodation they might be able to find, so long as it didn’t include the big Rover.
But he might as well have wished for time to move backward for all the good it was going to do him. All he had the right to hope for now was a reasonable end to his efforts to save Redden. If he could manage that much, he would have gotten all he was entitled to.
So when the Quickening set down toward sunset, descending to a broad meadow of tall grasses and wildflowers cupped in the valley of a series of massive peaks, high above sea level and well hidden from everything that couldn’t fly, he turned his attention to doing what he had promised both Skint and himself he would do. With the entire company in tow, he left the airship and walked with the big Troll down into the meadow and laid Farshaun Req in his final resting place. The air was sweet and unexpectedly warm; the meadow seemed to be encapsulated in its own climate zone. Birds wheeled overhead and butterflies and bees zipped about through the wildflowers and grasses, oblivious to what those gathered were doing. Farshaun was lowered into the earth still wrapped in the sheeting, a stone marker was set in place at the head of his grave, and Railing stepped forward.
“I’ve never known a better man,” he said, his voice resonating loud and clear in the stillness of the moment. It echoed off the peaks, sounding eerily distant and disconnected. “He was admired by everyone who knew him. He was my friend, and he understood my dream of flying airships and taught me most of what I know. He taught Mirai and my brother, Redden, too. We all loved him, and we will miss him terribly. I wish we had been able to keep him with us a little longer. I wish I had never agreed to let him come on this journey.”
He paused, steadying himself. “But Farshaun was never someone who let others dictate his choices, and I don’t expect I could have done so here. I take comfort in knowing he died in the place he loved most—in the air, aboard an airship, with airmen he admired and the world at his feet. I imagine he is flying somewhere now, off in the blue, off on another journey. I can’t imagine him doing anything else. I will always think of him this way.”
He stepped back, shaking his head, fighting the tears, drained of words and emotional strength. He stood with his head bowed as the Rovers sang a short, traditional song that was meant to speed the dead on their way to a place of safety and peace and to help the living let them go. Challa Nand closed the proceedings with a pronouncement calling on the forces of nature that inhabited and protected the mountains to take notice of their loss, and include their friend.
Then it was back to the airship, the light failing quickly now, though the air remained warm. Night was coming on, darkness speeding its way out of the east in lengthening shadows and a dimming of the skies, the winged herald of day’s end. Railing trudged back to the airship with the others, walking close to Skint. He was vaguely aware of Mirai walking with Austrum, but he refused to look at her, not wanting to be troubled by their body language or wonder at the nature of their words. He was suddenly exhausted, and felt like he could sleep for a week.
“That was well said back there,” Skint observed, dropping back to walk beside him. “I was right about you and the old Rover; you and he did have a strong connection.”
Railing gave a desultory nod. “Well, it’s gone now.”
The Gnome Tracker snorted. “Oh, I don’t think so. Such things survive death. They live on in the hearts of the living. They help keep the dead from being forgotten. Didn’t you know that?”
He moved away. Railing walked on for another few moments, and then he stopped where he was. He watched the others move ahead of him, so despairing that he no longer wanted to keep their company. Instead, he turned around and started back toward the grave site.
“What are you doing?” Woostra asked as he passed him.
“Just spending a little more time with Farshaun,” he answered, not bothering to slow. “I want to be alone with him. I’ll be along.”
Woostra grunted something, but by then Railing was too far away to hear
it. He breathed in the unexpectedly warm air and smelled the meadow flowers and wished for things he couldn’t have. He glanced at the darkening sky, but didn’t mind that the light was going. He preferred it dark. He wanted to disappear.
Moments later, he was standing over Farshaun’s grave. The Rovers had covered it with heavy rocks after the old man was interred, intent on protecting his remains from scavengers. Railing knelt next to it, undid the band that held his red hair off his face, readjusted it, and began to speak.
“I let you down, Farshaun,” he said softly. “I failed you. I’ve failed everyone on this journey, and you and Mirai most of all. I should have told you about the King of the Silver River and the Grimpond. I should have been honest and up-front about what I know. At least then a vote could have been taken and, if you had wanted to go back, you could have. But I didn’t do that. I let you think that nothing had changed, but everything had. Everything was different.”
He took a deep breath to steady himself, and now his voice was shaking. “The King of the Silver River told me that it was wrong for me to seek out Grianne Ohmsford. He told me not to try to bring her back from wherever she was, that it wouldn’t happen as I hoped, even if I could manage it. The Grimpond told me she was alive and well, and I could do what I wanted, but there was something in the way he said it that warned me against it. Both creatures gave me the same message, but I ignored them. I didn’t care what they said. I cared about getting Redden back again. I was afraid you and the others wouldn’t go any farther if you knew …”
“What are you doing out here?”
Mirai was standing next to him, staring down questioningly. He felt his stomach lurch. “Nothing. Just talking to Farshaun.”
“It sounded like you were confessing. I heard some of it.” She looked angry. “Does it make you feel better when you tell your secrets to a dead man rather than to me?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t talk to you. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.”
