***Chapter 23***
As is always the case when one would really like to slow down and do something well, the time before Erin’s recital flew by. She couldn’t hang onto the minutes, and her progress on her music was painfully slow. She doubted all of it would be ready in time.
And then, suddenly, it was the afternoon of the recital. All the performers were behind the big black curtain waiting for the show to start. Erin had already warmed up her oboe. It was sitting waiting for her on a little stand on the stage of the recital hall. Her accompanist was Tory, who was a keyboard major and played harpsichord and piano when her woodwind ensemble needed it. In fact, the whole group would be performing with her on one of the pieces. Tory had played her recital in the fall, as had Justin and Marisol. Ilona’s was next weekend, and she was making herself sick worrying about how her flute was going to sound when the time came. They were such good friends, and Erin was grateful to have known them, but after this semester they would scatter. At least she now knew where she would be going.
She nervously rubbed her little belly. Next week, during spring break, she would have an ultrasound. She couldn’t wait. But first she had to get through today. Her fingers were trembling with nerves, and she thought she might just throw up.
Warm arms wrapped around her from behind, pulling her back against a powerful chest. She jumped. A familiar voice murmured in her ear, "Hi baby."
"Sean!" She squeaked a little louder than was really appropriate for backstage right before a performance and whirled around hugging him tight, leaning her cheek against his chest. "You’re here! Why are you here?"
"It’s your big day. Where else would I be? Of course I would be here to support my wife." He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the mouth.
"Erin," Tory whispered, "is this your husband?"
"Yes, this is Sean Murphy. Sean, this is my woodwind group. This is Tory, Ilona, Marisol, Justin and Marcus. They’re my closest friends in the music department."
"Pleased to meet you guys," he said, still holding Erin close, his big hand circling soothingly on her back.
They returned the greeting softly and wandered back to their own corners, glad that Erin had something to take her mind off her nerves.
"What’s this?" Sean whispered in her ear, cupping the little curve of her belly.
"Your baby, silly."
"Our baby, Erin. The baby we made together."
"Yes."
There was a small fluttering movement under his hand and Sean drew in a startled breath.
"Did I just feel that?"
"Yes. It’s not butterflies."
"Wow."
"Erin, it’s time." Dr. Johnson told her from the doorway.
Erin nodded.
"Go find a seat honey."
"You’ll be great." He kissed her once more and was gone.
Much strengthened by her husband’s support, Erin took a deep breath and walked out onto the stage. The lights were blinding. She couldn’t see the audience at all, only her music stand, the oboe, and the piano, sitting on the pale pine floor. The back of the stage was flanked with a semi-circle of plastic chairs and other music stands. For now, she was alone.
"Good afternoon. My name is Erin James Murphy. I would like to thank you all for coming to my recital. I hope you enjoy the music I have prepared. My first piece is the Sonata for Solo Oboe by Carl Phillip Emmanuel Bach.
She lifted the oboe into her hands, wet the reed and began to play. As always, once Erin began working her instrument, all her nerves melted away and she was gone, deep within herself to the place where pure music dwelt. All the hours of preparation meant that she played largely from memory, relying on her familiarity with the notes to keep her fingers moving while emotion, instinct, and passion expressed themselves in the tempo and volume.
From his seat, between his parents, Sean was in awe. He had heard his wife play many times, but he had never heard anything like this. It was technical perfection. Her fingers flew over the little silver keys effortlessly, stroking the instrument and making it weep. The piece was sad and mournful sounding, but threading through it were little ribbons of hope. It was amazing. Long too. For ten minutes she and her instrument worked together to make the most beautiful, most moving sounds he had ever heard. At last, she lowered the oboe from her mouth and took a deep breath. The audience applauded enthusiastically.
"For my next piece, I would like to play the Oboe Concerto by Ralph Vaughn Williams. My accompanist for this piece is Victoria Alonzo. This arrangement for Oboe and Piano was prepared by Dr. Keith Johnson.
And it began again. This piece was very different from the previous one. Much more modern, it had strange intervals, and didn’t really make much sense to Sean, but that didn’t matter. It was flawless. Her fingers hit each note unerringly. He could tell she didn’t have as much affection for this work, but because of its difficulty, it was important for her to include it.
The third piece was different again. After a brief pause as the other musicians came out from behind the curtain and settled themselves in the chairs, she introduced her woodwind ensemble, whom she called the Young Bohemians, making the audience chuckle. This time, the piece was the Concerto for Two Oboes in F Major, by Tomaso Albinoni. Sean knew from an earlier conversation that her friend Marcus would be playing the oboe, even though bassoon was his preferred instrument. She had been touched by his willingness to do that for her. Now this was music Sean could understand. Pretty, rich and deep, it flowed over the audience, making them smile.
On and on it went, for the next thirty minutes. One piece after another, some technical and strange, others lovely and haunting, some with accompaniment, others without. It was such a broad range. Sean had never dreamed that his wife was this talented, and he felt another surge of guilt over the narrow life they would be sharing after she graduated. It was what she wanted, but was it really best, when she had all this inside her?
But that music wasn’t all she had inside her. As she set up for her last number, getting out a fresh reed, he saw her rub the side of her belly discreetly with her free hand. He wondered if the baby was tickling her. She smiled, a private smile, and he understood at last what she had tried to tell him all along; that while she was a superior musician, she was also a woman, a friend, a wife, soon to be a mother. She had to be all of them to be whole. She would never be satisfied with the self-centered life of a dedicated artist.
"Let me thank you again all for coming to my recital. I hope you have enjoyed the music. My last piece is based on the pop song "I Swear," written by Gary Baker and Frank J. Myers, as performed by the singing group All for One. It was arranged by me for oboe and piano in honor of my wonderful husband, Sean Murphy."
She raised the instrument to her lips. This was unlike anything she had played before. The tune was simple, but she played it passionately, lovingly, each note recalling the emotions of their relationship. It was the song, he realized, that had been playing the first time they danced at homecoming, the night that they had kissed in the parking lot, and later gone to her house and made love for the first time. So many years had passed since that night, but for a moment, he was there again, holding a very young Erin in his arms, kissing her soft lips, and knowing that his life would never be the same. It was, without a doubt, the most meaningful gift anyone had ever given him, and he was thankful to be here for it. As he listened, a few of the lyrics from the chorus flitted across his memory. "For better or worse, till death do us part, / I’ll love you with every beat of my heart, I swear."
The last plaintive notes died away. Erin lowered her oboe. The audience sat in stunned silence for several moments, moved to disbelief by the beauty of what they had just heard. In a very real sense, Erin had taken the love she had for her husband and broadcast it through the whole room in such a way that everyone not only knew how she felt, but felt it with her. Sean looked up at his beautiful little wife, standing on that stage and felt certain he would burst with pride for her accompl
ishments today. He brought his hands together loudly, breaking the ice, and the room erupted into thunderous applause. Erin bowed, indicated her pianist, who stood and bowed, and then had her woodwind group come onto the stage to be honored. After several moments of loud appreciation, including a well deserved standing ovation, the house lights clicked on. At last Erin could see the audience. Among the expected compliment of music teachers, music majors, and students from the music appreciation classes trying to get their concert attendance credits, there was a little pocket of people off to one side. Her eyes went there directly, of course, because Sean was there. He drew her gaze like no one else. Standing near him was Sheridan, beaming, lighting up the room with her high-voltage smile. But the surprise was that those two were not alone. Roger and Ellen Murphy, their expressions startled, stood with their children. And, as she looked, her mouth dropped open in shock. Daniel James was with them. Her father, her careless disinterested father, had left work on a Saturday afternoon, not to golf with his buddies, not to work out at the gym, but to drive three hours so he could listen to his daughter play a recital. It was unheard of. He stood and approached her carrying a large bouquet of red roses. Because this was a recital hall and not an auditorium, there was no orchestra pit, and so the distance between the stage and the floor was not very great. He extended the roses up to her
"Well done pumpkin," he said, and his eyes were rather shiny, "I had no idea you were that good."
"Thank you Daddy," Erin said softly, taking the bouquet and smelling it. She set her oboe on a little stand and the flowers on the piano bench, and climbed down the steps at the side of the stage to where her father was standing. He put his arms around her and hugged her tight.
"I’m so proud of you Erin." That did it. Those simple, desperately longed for words meant more to her than the applause, more than the ovation. Erin sniffled and tears began to flow down her cheeks. The overwrought emotions of the concert, combined with the wild hormones of her pregnancy, broke apart her composure and she wept noisily in her father’s embrace.
"Erin?" It was Tory. She patted her friend on the arm, "that was amazing. Are you all right?"
"She’s fine." Marisol had joined them, "I felt the same way after my recital. It’s the adrenaline. Is this your dad, Erin?"
Erin took a deep breath. "Yes, this is my dad, Daniel James." She squeezed him tight once more and then stepped away. "Dad, there’s going to be a little reception now in the band hall. I have to pack up my instrument and then I’ll be over there."
"Okay pumpkin. I’ll see you there."
A few minutes later, Erin had put her oboe away; leaving it in Dr. Johnson’s locked office. She would retrieve it Monday for rehearsal. The roses she carried with her. She walked the few steps down the courtyard to the band hall where a noisy crowd was munching cookies and sipping punch and coffee. She went straight to her husband.
He didn’t say a word about her playing, but his gaze was intense. He had understood the message of that last song. He slid his arm around her waist and just held her while people approached, complimenting her performance.
All her woodwind ensemble friends hugged her, and several members of the music faculty did as well. Last was Dr. Johnson. He actually scooped her away from Sean and squeezed her.
"Oh Erin, you surpassed my wildest expectations. Bravo. You had better send me lots and lots of double reed students from your hometown."
"I’ll do that," she told him seriously, visions of her future pupils flashing across her mind.
He turned to Sean. "Hi, I’m Dr. Johnson. I teach oboe here. You must be Erin’s husband."
"I am." He shook the man’s hand. "Sean Murphy."
"You must be very proud."
"You can’t imagine." Sean’s voice was rough with love and passion as he looked at his wife with intense blue eyes.
Dr. Johnson looked at Sean for a moment and saw exactly why this man meant more to Erin than any playing job in any orchestra. At last he understood why she was willing to give up such a promising career. She was gaining something much more satisfying.
After the reception, as the audience drifted away, the James and Murphy families walked to the courtyard. It had been rather stuffy in the band hall, but outside the weather was chilly and felt very refreshing indeed. The Murphys had held back during the reception, wanting Erin to receive all the professional accolades she deserved but now it was their turn. Roger gave her one of his signature bear hugs before handing her over to his wife, who kissed her cheek.
"That was amazing, Erin dear. You’re such an accomplished musician."
"Thank you. I’m overwhelmed that you both made it."
"We wouldn’t have missed it for anything."
"How did you know to be here?"
"I told them, of course," Sheridan said, "I know you hate to be a bother to anyone, but really Erin, everyone wanted to come and see you. And you sure didn’t disappoint. Wow. I really liked that last one. Did you say you arranged it yourself?"
"Yes."
"How did you choose it?"
"It was the song," Sean told her, "that was playing the first time we danced together, at homecoming."
"You remembered!"
"Of course. That was a life changing moment for both of us."
Erin nodded. "It was, in the best possible way."
"Well," Daniel said, "I’m very glad to have been here for this Erin. Be sure and let me know when your graduation is. But I have a meeting this evening with some clients who want some investment advice, and it’s a long drive home."
"Sure Daddy. Thank you so much for coming." She hugged him once more and he left.
"Okay, Mom, Dad, how about a tour of the University? I would love to show you around the campus." She collected her parents, winked at her friend, and left. Now it was just Erin and her husband. She took his hand and led him back to her dorm room in silence. Once there, Sean tenderly undressed his wife, noting the changes to her body, the swollen breasts, and the round little belly. This time, she didn’t look so desperately thin. With Sheridan to look after her, she was taking better care of herself. She glowed with joy over her success. He pressed her to him for a long passionate kiss before lifting her into the bed for a private celebration that quite took Erin’s breath away.
***Chapter 24***
After a moment as transcendent as that senior recital, the rest of the school year was rather dull. The girls finished their classes well, especially now that Erin had more time and energy to devote to her studies. Her week at home for Spring break had included a visit at the midwife clinic where an ultrasound revealed a healthy and active baby boy. Erin was overjoyed. So was Sean. And then it was back to school to finish the semester.
Then, on the second Saturday in May, Erin sat in the gym, robed in black and wearing a square hat, to receive her diploma. Sheridan was sitting on the stage. She was the top graduate that semester and would be introducing the keynote speaker as a reward for her 4.0 Grade Point Average. Erin was less academically inclined than her friend, but was still graduating Magna Cum Laude, with high honors. In the end, she had received a fourth B, for her political science class, which didn’t delight her, but was satisfactory. She was content. Her years of hard work had been successful and she was receiving her music degree. Tonight, she would leave the University forever and go home to begin her life as Mrs. Erin Murphy, oboe player and music teacher. She couldn’t wait. She was even going to play with the symphony in the summer music series, at least the first part of it. Her baby was due in August, but she would be the featured performer at a concert in June in honor of her return.
But first, the graduation. Wonderfully, her father was sitting with the Murphys in the bleachers, ready to cheer his daughter’s success again. His willingness to take time for her went a long way towards curing Erin of the idea that she was unwanted. The Murphys of course, were great, so supportive and kind. They clapped for her as loudly as they did their own daughter. Sean cheered loudest, of course,
as his wife crossed the stage to shake hands with the president of the university and receive her diploma.
It was a very long ceremony, with hundreds of graduates being honored, but finally it was over, and the two Murphy girls posed cheek to cheek, imitating the high school photo they had taken together years ago, only this time it was Erin whose belly swelled her robes. Sheridan looked slim and happy. In a sense, graduation was an ending for these two. Oh, they would be friends and sisters forever, but their lives were pulling them apart, and the intense closeness that had helped them both survive the last five years was over. It was wrenching for both of them, and they had cried a little over it. The good part was that they would be able to stay close a bit longer. Sean’s massive renovation project wasn’t quite finished, but he had let his apartment lease expire to save money for the work. The couple would be staying with the elder Murphys until the house was completed, and Sheridan was coming home for the summer too, before returning to State in the fall to begin work on her Master’s Degree.
After the ceremony, Daniel went home to work. Erin no longer begrudged him his long hours. It was what he wanted, and as long as he made a little time for her now and again, it sufficed. The rest of the family went back to the girls’ dorm room and helped them pack up to move.
"Ouch," Sheridan said.
"What happened?" Roger asked, concerned. He’d always been very protective of his daughter.
"Erin I swear, if I stick myself with one more piece of reed…can’t you put them in the trash?"
She plucked the splinter out of her finger and tossed it in the garbage can.
"Reed?" Sean asked.
"Get used to it brother dear. Oboe players are obsessed with their reeds. They make them themselves and in the process leave splinters everywhere."
"I try, but sometimes they get away from me. Sorry Danny."
Sheridan rolled her eyes. Stuck fingers notwithstanding, it only took a short time to pack everything up and load it into the vehicles for the three hour drive home. Sheridan took Erin’s car. Her friend was giving it to her to keep. Erin rode with her husband, of course. Their long separation was over. Their new life together was beginning.
When the Music Ends (The Winter Rose Chronicles) Page 19
