by Helen Lacey
Tess made the mental correction immediately.
She had done the leaving. The divorcing. Mitch had wanted to work things out...to try to get past their differences. But on his terms. That’s when his consideration had turned into arrogance and into a one-eyed belief that he was right...about everything. And a marriage with conditions wasn’t something she was prepared to endure.
Four years later she had believed they were done. She lived in Sioux Falls; he lived in Cedar River. She had a job teaching high school English. Mitch had the Triple C Ranch. She hadn’t expected to bump into him at the hotel in Sioux Falls. She hadn’t been prepared for the way he made her feel. She hadn’t believed they had anything left to say to each other. And in the end, it wasn’t conversation that drew them back together for those few brief hours. It was pure and unadulterated attraction. Desire. Sex. And it had been good. Amazing. Heat and sweat and pleasure, and then reality had set in and she’d left after a brief goodbye, flippantly wishing him a happy life, trying to hide the fact she was suddenly desperate to remain in his arms for the rest of eternity. Because his arms weren’t hers to long for anymore. They were a memory. Their marriage was over and they both needed to move on. And she had intended to do exactly that.
Except for one tiny hiccup—now she was pregnant.
She watched him stride across the wide veranda, saw him come to a halt at the top step and place his hands on his lean hips. In worn jeans and a regulation chambray shirt, sheepskin-lined jacket, a bandanna hanging out of one pocket and his Stetson at a rakish angle, he looked like the postcard image of a Midwestern cowboy. And utterly gorgeous. Her insides did a silly flip-flop and she cursed herself for being so predictable. She’d known it wasn’t going to be easy facing him again, particularly in light of her situation, but it had to be done. Mitch had every right to know he was going to be a father. Other than that, Tess didn’t have any real expectations. She knew him, knew he was honorable to the core and certainly would step up and be a father, even if it were only part-time. She didn’t anticipate any real problems arising.
The dogs came around the veranda and he immediately called them to heel. They obeyed instantly, sitting on their haunches, watching Mitch’s movements with keen and loyal eyes.
She got out of the car, clutched her tote against her belly and closed the door. He was down the steps in three seconds flat, his handsome face furrowing into a tight frown more apparent with each step he took.
When he was on the other side of her car, he greeted her suspiciously. “Tess.”
She swallowed hard. He didn’t look pleased to see her. In fact, he looked downright annoyed. She should have expected it. Should have known he wouldn’t want her back on the ranch, intruding in his life. For all she knew he could have moved on. There could well be a new mistress on the Triple C. It wasn’t something that bore thinking about. And she couldn’t explain why she ached inside just considering the possibility.
“Hello, Mitch.”
He tipped his hat back a little and glared at her. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“What about?”
Tess went to take a step, realizing he’d figure out exactly why she was at the ranch the moment she moved from around the vehicle. And then she decided there was little point in avoiding the inevitable. She took a deep breath and walked around the hood, her long-sleeved smock top and unbuttoned jacket doing little to disguise her protruding belly.
He stared incredulously, jaw adrift, eyes narrowing with a kind of gathering disbelief. And he hadn’t moved an inch, she realized, as the seconds ticked by. He simply continued to stare, his attention moving downward and lingering on her abdomen for a moment before returning to meet her eyes.
“I’m pregnant,” she said quietly, inhaling a steadying breath.
“Yes, I can see that.”
Tess took a step closer. “It’s your baby.”
She watched, fascinated, as his throat convulsed as he swallowed hard. He was in shock, but in typical Mitch fashion, he would act as though he was in complete control. A virtue. And a flaw.
Because his one weakness was not being able to show weakness.
He blinked a couple of times, as though digesting her words, and then shook his head. “What did you say?”
Tess pushed back her shoulders. “I said, the baby is yours, Mitch. That afternoon at the hotel in Sioux Falls when we—”
He waved a hand, cutting her off. “Yeah, I know how babies are made, Tess.”
Of course he did. They’d had plenty of practice, after all. This was the fifth baby they’d made together. Only, tragically, the last four of her pregnancies had all ended in miscarriage.
But not this time.
This time she was going to carry her child to full term and deliver a robust and healthy baby. She was sure of it. And since her doctor was also confident she would sustain the pregnancy, Tess had no intention of spending the next few months afraid she would lose her child. This time she felt different.
“I thought you should know,” she said quietly. “So, I guess I’ll head off and—”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, cutting her off again. “Come inside and we’ll talk.”
He turned on his heels and jogged up the porch steps, not waiting for a reply, but she noted that he did hold the door for her. Tess rolled her eyes, and then followed. She should have known what to expect when she drove out here. The dogs greeted her with their tails wagging, and she patted them both enthusiastically before she passed Mitch by the door, ignoring the way her senses were suddenly on red alert around him. He closed the screen once she’d crossed the threshold and ushered her into the front living room.
Nothing much had changed, she thought as she entered the room. Except for the fact that their wedding portrait no longer hung on the wall near the fireplace. A watercolor hung there now, something abstract and impersonal that was the complete antithesis of the intimate photograph that had graced the spot for the entirety of their marriage. Of course, she hadn’t expected that he would keep the portrait up once they were divorced.
“Is Mrs. Bailey still—”
“Yes,” he replied gruffly. “She’s in the kitchen. Do you want something? Coffee? Tea, maybe? I could ask her to—”
“No,” she said, and waved a hand. “I’m fine. I only wondered if she was still here, that’s all.” Tess had always liked Mrs. Bailey. The older woman had been a friend and confidante during the years she’d lived at the ranch.
“Does your sister know you’re in town?” he asked flatly.
Tess nodded. “I’m staying with her while I’m here.”
“At David’s?”
She nodded again. David McCall, a widower, was Mitch’s cousin. Her stepsister, Annie, worked for David as nanny to his two children. Annie lived at David’s ranch, which was about a twenty-minute drive from the Triple C.
“I only arrived this morning and came straight here. I called Annie last night and asked if I could stay for a few days,” she said, and shrugged a little. “And I didn’t elaborate. I just asked her to ask David not to say anything about me being in town to you or anyone else.”
“So, who knows you’re pregnant?”
“You,” she replied. “But it’s not like I can hide the fact from the world. Nor do I want to. I’m not unhappy about the baby, Mitch. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“Except for the part about me being the father, right?”
She stilled, and a familiar hurt, as raw and fresh as it had been four years earlier, wound its way through her blood. They’d said a lot of hurtful things to one another in the end. Words that would never be forgotten and could never be taken back.
“I’m not unhappy about that,” she said quietly. “Despite...despite everything.”
He laughed humorlessly. “Despite saying
the last thing you wanted was to have a child with me.”
Tess’s back straightened as memories banged around in her head. “We both said things that day...things that we probably now regret.”
“I don’t,” he said flatly. “I meant what I said. And if we could go back for a do-over, I’d say the same thing and feel the same way.”
Tess’s blood stilled in her veins. Four years later and he still didn’t understand.
She clutched her tote to her hips, met his gaze and took a long breath. “Then I guess we have nothing else to say to one another.”
His brows rose. “Oh, I think there’s plenty to say, Tess. And I have to ask the obvious question—are you sure?”
She swallowed hard, knowing exactly what he meant. “Am I sure the baby is yours? Yes,” she said quietly. “I’m positive.”
“Because?”
“You’re the only man I’ve been with in the last six months.”
He gave her a vague nod and then moved around the room, dropping onto the couch. He rested his elbows on his knees and ran a weary hand through his hair. “So...what are your plans?”
“To have a healthy baby.”
He didn’t move an inch. “And where do I fit in?”
“That’s your choice, Mitch. I know you probably have mixed feelings about it, considering our history. But I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you.”
His eyes glittered brilliantly, and she could feel the building tension emanating from him, creating a kind of uneasy energy in the room. Once, she’d been able to read him like a book. But now, with so much time and recrimination between them, Tess felt as though she were almost looking at a stranger.
“That’s very generous of you,” he said quietly. Too quietly. And Tess wasn’t fooled. He was mad. “You seem to have it all figured out.”
Tess took a step back. “You’re angry?”
“Perceptive,” he said, and shot to his feet. “But not quite accurate. I’m...confused.”
“By what?”
“We used a condom.”
Okay. She hadn’t considered the possibility that he would question the baby’s paternity.
“I guess it must have broken.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Sometimes that happens.”
“So I have heard,” he said quietly. “But you must know that the last thing I would want is to risk getting you pregnant again.”
As he said the words, Mitch knew they would hurt her. But damnit, he was hurting, too. He couldn’t push down the heavy ache rising up in his chest that quickly grabbed around his ribs like a vice and made breathing steadily almost impossible.
She was staring at him, her eyes shining. Of course she knew that he wouldn’t have wanted to get her pregnant. He’d said as much right before she walked out all those years ago. But he was right to say it. Right to remind her.
“Of course I know that,” she said stiffly, clearly reading his mind. “You made your opinion on the matter abundantly clear four years ago.”
No more babies.
That’s what he’d said. After her fourth and final miscarriage he told her they were done trying to have a family, and he’d watched helplessly as his grief-stricken wife had wept with sadness and despair.
And then he witnessed her resentment setting in.
But his reaction and feelings were valid. Every time she lost a child he had to watch her lose a little of herself, as well. Her anguish was inconsolable. Her despair heart wrenching and excruciating to observe. He’d tried to comfort her, but she withdrew more with each loss. In the end, he couldn’t bear seeing her in so much pain. So, he did what he felt he had to do to protect her. He changed the rules, made it clear that he had no intention of fathering any more children with her.
They were done trying to have a baby.
At first, her reaction had been one of disbelief and anger. Then she had tried to seduce and cajole and convince him it was worth the risk. But Mitch wouldn’t budge, knowing she was far too emotional to see the reality for what it was. Their reality. They would have one another, and that would need to be enough.
Only, it hadn’t been enough for Tess.
Days later she moved out and left town, and soon after she filed for divorce.
Looking at her now, so close, he realized how much he’d missed her...and yet, he could feel the divide between them growing with each passing second. His gaze dropped to her belly. His child. Could it really be true? Had that crazy and impulsive afternoon resulted in a baby? He knew that Tess wouldn’t lie to him. If she said the baby was his, then he believed her. He knew it would be far less complicated and much easier for her if her baby wasn’t his. She wouldn’t have had to return to Cedar River. She could have continued on with her life, and they might never have seen one another again.
But that wasn’t to be.
He experienced a mix of emotions. Fear was at the top of the list. She’d never gotten as far along in a pregnancy...and if she lost this child, Mitch suspected she might never recover. But she looked well... In fact, she was glowing. And he had a whole bunch of questions he wanted answered.
Chapter Two
Mitch took a long breath, calming the uneasiness simmering in his gut. “How...how is everything?” he asked quietly.
Her hand immediately rested on her middle. “Good. The baby is perfectly healthy and right on schedule. And I feel fine. My doctor thinks I’ll—”
“Why are you only telling me now, Tess?” he demanded, sounding sharper than he liked, but unable to contain his confusion and growing irritation.
“I needed to be sure,” she said, and shrugged again. “You know I’ve never been able to get past sixteen weeks. But this time...this time I did, and once my doctor assured me everything would be fine, that’s when I knew I needed to tell you. If I’d miscarried early, then I wouldn’t want you to go through that all over again. I didn’t see the point.”
Mitch couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So, you get to make all the decisions, correct?”
“I only wanted to—”
“Control me and my rights as this child’s father?”
“I was trying to make things easier for us both,” she implored. “And besides, we didn’t exactly make any promises to one another that afternoon in Sioux Falls. It was just—”
“Sex?” he shot back. “Yes, I got that message loud and clear when you hightailed it from my room.”
Memories of that afternoon bombarded his thoughts. Tess looking shocked to see him in the hotel foyer. Their first uncomfortable words. An awkward offer to have coffee. And then, things shifted on some invisible axis and suddenly a rekindled desire took control. They got to his room in record speed and made love like they had never been apart, with a kind of frenzied need that left them both exhausted and sated. What he’d expected afterward, Mitch wasn’t sure. But it certainly wasn’t Tess’s quick and clearly uncomfortable exit.
“I thought it was best if I left without a postmortem,” she said, slicing through his thoughts. “And neither of us could have known at the time that the contraception had failed.”
She was right. But that wasn’t the point. “You should have told me the moment you discovered you were pregnant.”
Her chin angled higher. “I made my decision because I didn’t want things to get too complicated.”
“Too little, too late,’” he said, and glanced at her belly. “Don’t you think?”
She moved around the sofa, arms crossed, her chin tilted at a determined angle. “I’m not here to argue with you, Mitch. I came to tell you about the baby. If you want to be a part of his life, then fine. If not, that’s fine, too.”
Mitch’s expression narrowed. “His life?”
She smiled a little. “I think it’s a boy.”
Mitch’s gut tightened. “You think? Have you had the tes
t done?”
She shook her head. “I just feel like it’s a boy. My doctor recommended I have the test done, you know, because of my history. But I thought we should find out together.” She hesitated. “If...if you want to, that is.”
A baby. They were having a baby. A thousand feelings coursed through his blood and across his skin before finally settling beneath his rib cage. Regret. Anticipation. Rage. Despair. Fear. Things he’d felt before. Things he’d never wanted to feel again. And something else. Joy. Happiness. Things he was terrified of feeling because they were always taken away.
“Yes...of course,” he said quietly, pushing back the emotion in his voice and saw that, despite the way things were between them, she looked infuriatingly calm. And, of course, she was calm. She’d had months to prepare herself. Months to get used to the fact that she was going to be a parent.
Not ten minutes.
Mitch stalked across the room, heading for the fireplace. He placed his hands on the mantel and took a few long breaths, trying to find clarity in his thoughts. Tess was in his living room. Tess was having his baby. It seemed impossible and yet achingly real.
“What are your plans now?” he asked again as he turned to face her.
She sighed and pushed back her shoulders. “To stay. I plan on having the baby in Cedar River. I like this town. My sister is here, and I like the idea of being close to family. And you’re here.”
“Which means?” he asked.
“Which means I want our baby to have two parents. I’ve resigned from my job in Sioux Falls and will stay with Annie until I find a place of my own. I’ll go back to work part-time once the baby comes.”
He crossed his arms. “You don’t need to stay with your sister,” he said flatly, thinking fast, and above the white noise screeching through his ears. “You can move back in here.”
Her eyes became as wide as saucers. “I didn’t come here so we could pick up where we left off, Mitch. Or to interrupt your life. For all I know you could be seeing someone and I—”
“I’m not seeing anyone,” he said quickly. “Are you?”
