“Take it back, Jake. Please take it back.”
She loved him. The reality of it hurt. She’d tried so hard to keep it from happening; the idea had terrified her to no end. She’d fought against her feelings, but they’d come anyway, slowly insinuating into her subconscious, then into her conscious.
“I wish I could.”
The gentle touch of his fingers whispered across her temple and into her hair.
“I love you.” She swallowed, too overcome for mere words.
“I never knew. You don’t know how much I’d hoped—” Hunkered down by her chair, Jake entwined his fingers between hers and squeezed, then he brushed his lips over a tear that had slipped from her lashes and stilled on her cheek. “I’ve been a selfish bastard. I had no right to hurt you, no right to get you involved in my mess. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I don’t want your apologies. I just want you well.” Opening her eyes, Margot straightened. “How close are you to finding the antidote?”
“Close. Maybe two weeks. Not enough time. My system’s deteriorating too quickly.”
She flinched, pulling her hand from his grasp. “What about Johnny’s copy? You said he made one. It must be here somewhere. Maybe if the two of us worked together—”
“But where, Margot? I’ve looked everywhere. Plus, any place I might have missed, Malcolm would have found.”
“We’ll look harder. We’ll look until we find it. It has to be somewhere.” She frowned. “Didn’t Johnny hint about where he planned on storing the copy?”
“No.” He sighed. “At the time I didn’t want to know. Then it was too late—and now. Well, now doesn’t much matter.”
She stiffened. “You’re not giving up, are you?”
“No.”
But she heard the uncertainty and doubt in his voice. She clutched the arms of her chair, digging her fingers into the thick fabric. “Don’t, Jake. Don’t give up on me now.”
“I won’t.”
Anxiety knotted around her stomach. She was afraid he was lying to her. “Tomorrow we’ll look. Right now, though, you need rest. Your head must be killing you.”
“It’s felt better.”
She heard the smile in his voice and relaxed a little.
“You’re right. I’ll let you get back to work.”
Margot felt the touch of his lips against her brow and heard the soft sigh of movement as he left the room.
But she couldn’t work, she couldn’t concentrate, she couldn’t do anything but think of the possible places where Johnny might have hidden a disk.
She didn’t move from her chair, but slowly looked around the room. Could Johnny have hidden the formula in one of the books? It would be so easy to slip a disk or CD between one of the pages. No. Malcolm had torn the place apart. Then there was Jake. Between the two of them, they would have thoroughly searched every conceivable area. But what if they’d overlooked something or missed one small volume? She didn’t wait and wonder but rose and started on one side of the room, paging slowly, meticulously through each book. Food had no meaning; time had no meaning—only the need to find the disk.
The light dimmed. She paused long enough to flick on the lamp on her desk, and then moved onto the next shelf relentlessly. The clock chiming two above the mantel and exhaustion, weakening her shoulders and arms and blurring her vision, made her realize she needed rest. At this point, fatigue would only hinder her search. She’d miss the obvious if she wasn’t careful.
She left her office, snapped on the hall light and walked down the hall to Jake’s room. In the doorway, she peered into the darkened room. From the hall, the light illuminated Jake’s shape beneath the comforter. He lay on his side with his back facing her. It took but a moment for her to decide. She stripped, folded her clothes on the chair and slipped under the covers behind him. Tucking her legs beneath his, she edged closer until her breasts pressed against the warm, smooth muscles of his back. Tentatively, she curved an arm around his waist.
Jake sighed, shifted and cupped her hand against his chest. Then he stilled, his breathing deep, regular and comforting in the stillness of the room. Slowly, she relaxed against his body. It felt right being in the same bed and holding him. Closing her eyes, she didn’t think of the future but held onto the moment. Eventually, fatigue pulled her down into sleep.
In the pre-dawn hours, Margot woke to find they’d somehow reversed their positions with Jake spooned up against her back. For a while she lay there, savoring his heat, the feel of his hair-roughened legs entwined between her own, the hard wall of his chest pressed against her back.
Reluctantly, she left the warmth of his arms and his bed and stepped into the chill morning air. He didn’t stir. She grabbed her clothes, and slipped from his room, padding against the cold, wood floor. Quickly, she showered and changed. Not bothering with breakfast other than a cup of coffee, she hurried into her office and renewed her search, starting where she’d left off the night before.
Rising up on her toes, she reached over and pulled a thick volume from the top shelf.
The sudden cry jerked the book from Margot’s grasp. The volume fell from her fingers and slid across the floor to hit the leg of her desk. The loud thump didn’t compare to the noise that rose up from Jake’s room and smashed along the walls and into her office.
“Jake!”
She fled the office and careened around the corner into the hall. She fumbled to a stop. Panting, she stared at Jake’s closed door.
Another cry vibrated against the bedroom walls. Something fell to the floor. She flinched and swallowed a sob.
He was in so much pain.
She took a step and reached for the door handle but stopped. If she walked in on Jake now, would he be able to forgive her for witnessing his frailty?
A whimper, faint but distinct, propelled her forward. She grabbed the handle and shoved the door open. On the floor, by the foot of the bed, she saw his partially clothed form.
“Jake!”
“Get out—”
Margot didn’t listen.
She fell down onto her knees beside him and touched his arm. His skin, even through a shirt damp from sweat, burned into her palm. “What can I do? Can I do anything?”
“Nothing.” He gasped. “The pain.”
She slid awkwardly down on the hard floor beside him and held him, just held him, as she closed her eyes and prayed. She tried to project her strength into him. If he could just get through this attack—
Jake convulsed. The force of the tremors pushed them along the wood floor. He clutched her shoulders, quaking against her body, growling deep in his throat. His fingers dug through the fabric of her shirt and into her flesh. She winched but still didn’t let go.
He buried his head against her throat, his hot breath dampening her skin. Then suddenly, he stilled. A long, drawn out breath rattled from his chest.
They lay on the floor, both breathing deeply, as Jake’s body relaxed in her arms. Slowly, he eased from her arms and rose to a sitting position.
“I’ll be okay.”
She pushed herself from the floor and sat up beside him.
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“My God, Jake. I couldn’t sit back and let you suffer alone. What type of person do you think I am?”
He was quiet for a moment. “Thank you.” On the floor, he slipped a gloved hand over her own. “For last night and now. For just being there.”
Margot couldn’t think of an appropriate answer so she remained silent. They sat there for a long while, holding hands. Then finally, Jake was the first to rise from the floor.
“I guess we better get to work.” He helped her to her feet, and then motioned with one hand. “First, I need some time to look halfway normal.”
“I understand.”
She returned to the office and with a trembling hand picked up the book she’d dropped earlier. Her system hadn’t yet recovered from the shock of Jake’s attack. She’d felt so damn powerless.
It wasn’t fair. Jake didn’t deserve this. He had so much to offer—intelligence, warmth, empathy. She blinked back tears. They wouldn’t give up. They couldn’t give up.
She eyed the remaining shelves she hadn’t yet searched. There were still thousands she needed to go through. Lifting her chin, she straightened her shoulder in resolve. Miracles could and did happen. She couldn’t lose sight of that.
“Any luck?”
Margot jumped and whirled around. “You scared me!”
Jake, fully clothed in jeans, navy, long sleeved shirt, gloves, wig and glasses, stood in the threshold. Makeup covered his exposed face, except for a small patch that circled his stitches.
Jake cleared his throat. “Sorry. I seem to be doing that all the time now.”
She closed the book in her hands and hugged it to her chest. “Don’t apologize. I’ll get used to it eventually.” She motioned toward the stack of shelves. “I haven’t found anything yet, but I’m only halfway done in this room.”
He nodded, shifting on the balls of his feet. “I’ll be down at the lab.” He sighed. “Let me know—”
Even with yards between them, Margot felt his restlessness and apprehension. She wanted to reach out and tell him everything would be okay, but she knew they would be only words with little comfort. Instead, she said simply, “I will.”
For the next several days, Margot searched the house while Jake worked in Johnny’s lab. Neither one of them said it, but Margot knew feelings of hopelessness were escalating with each passing sunrise, and with each sunset, she felt Jake withdraw further and further into himself.
By Thursday evening, nothing had changed as the sun dipped over the horizon and Jake still remained down at the lab. From the kitchen, she glanced outside to the barn. A faint light from the window illuminated the snow to silver and pressed up against the rigid trunks and limbs of the trees alongside the building.
Could today be different? Could Jake be closer to an antidote? At this point, anything would be a breakthrough. She grabbed her jacket from the closet and shrugged into it. Not bothering with boots or gloves, she hurried from the house.
Only the incandescent glow from the computer monitor softened the shadows throughout the lab. By one of the tables, Jake, hutched over something, stood with his back to her. The door snapped closed behind her as she stepped inside.
Pivoting, Jake dropped the vial in his hands. Glass shattered against the floor.
“Damn it!”
“I’m sorry!”
Hurrying over, she knelt down to pick up the pieces.
Jake grabbed her upper arms and yanked her to her feet. “Just leave it!”
She shoved at his chest. “You need to calm down.”
“Calm down!” His voice rose. “How can I calm down? I’m coughing up blood. I can’t hold anything with a steady hand. My mind is shot to hell and back!”
Swiveling around, he slashed his gloved hand over the table’s surface. Papers, pencils and pens flew into the air.
“This is ridiculous. I’m chasing after something that isn’t even here!”
Margot flinched. “You aren’t any closer?”
“Yeah, but it’s not enough. Not nearly enough.”
Tentatively, she touched Jake’s back. “Don’t give up now. You’re close. You just need a little more time.”
Turning on his heel, Jake faced her. “Time?” He laughed harshly. “I don’t have time!”
The monitor sat behind and to the right of him, throwing his silhouette into impenetrable black. He loomed over her, large, male, and filled with such unbearable pain.
“Margot, I’m scared. So damn scared—”
Before she had a chance to respond, Jake swooped down, latching both hands around her upper arms and dragging her to him. Then he kissed her, driving his fingers into her hair, bending her backward and pasting every sinew and muscle against her softer curves.
She stiffened, gasping against his mouth, then plummeted, deeply, irrevocably into the desire he’d unleashed. She scraped her palms up over the hard sinew of his arms, up over his wide shoulders to wind her hands around his neck.
She was dizzy with it. This hunger, this craving that made her loins ache and throb. Only him. Only Jake. No other man could turn her on with such astonishing power.
Margot shivered. She knocked his wig off and swept her fingers past his temple, running across the soft, spikes of his crew cut until she cupped the base of his skull.
It wasn’t enough. She stroked over the column of his neck, widening the V in his shirt, snapping open the top two buttons in her hurry to feel the slope between his neck and shoulder, then down over his collarbone, all the while loving the texture and warmth of his skin against her fingers.
Margot pressed harder against his body, rolling her hips, feeling his arousal against her belly. She was weak with need, her skin feverish, her limbs and hands shaky, her heart thumping.
###
To Jake, Margot was pure heaven. He would never get enough—not until the day he died. Oh, God. Tonight could be the last time with her...
Darkness. He needed darkness. Turning slightly, he hit the button on the computer monitor and tossed the entire lab into a cloud of black. Hidden in the shadow of night, he could relax, be himself and not worry what Margot saw or perceived with his invisibility. Now he could let pure sensation take over.
Craving the feel of naked skin against her silken strands, Jake ripped the gloves impatiently from his hands and re-buried his fingers into her thick raven hair as he devoured her with his mouth. She tasted of coffee and peppermint. She smelled like sunshine, and was exactly what he’d always envisioned heaven to be.
Jake broke off, gasping. He scrapped his jaw over her cheek as he touched his brow to hers. “If I don’t slow down now,” he murmured against her temple. “I’m liable to have you on the floor in a second.”
“So? That’s where I’d like to be,” she whispered by his ear, her breath and words sending shivers down his spine. “Under you, over you, around you.”
“Margot...”
She didn’t allow him to say more but pulled him back to her mouth, then splayed her hands against his chest before slipping the buttons of his shirt from their moorings. His stomach quivered at the way her hands glided over an invisible line above the waistband of his pants. Then she moved her fingers up over his nipples and chest to whisper across his rib cage and to the small of his back.
Jake tugged her sweater from around her waistband. He heard a rip but didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but the moment, the feel of her, the taste of her. She helped him pull her shirt over her head. His palms touched skin, smooth, warm and silken.
Absolutely beautiful.
More clothes dropped to the floor, until they were naked in the middle of the lab now. He smelled the thick, musty scent of sex and desire. With one quick, sure movement, Jake swept the rest of the papers from the table. They whispered around them as they fluttered through the air and landed to the floor. He struggled to rein in his hunger, but with Margot he didn’t have much self-control. Breath ragged, heart pounding, he edged her up against the table, gripped her tiny waist and lifted her up on its edge.
He nudged her legs apart with his thighs, while her hands glided across his waist to his butt where she flexed her fingers and urged him closer. For the briefest moment, his shaft shifted against her slick, wet heat. His breath caught against his throat. Then he exhaled in one quick rush. Cool air touched his damp brow. Easy. Slow.
Then one of her hands slipped along his hipbone to touch his cock with light, fleeting fingers. He ground his teeth. Damn it. When her fingers grew bolder, caressing and cupping him with both hands, his thin rope of self-control frayed and broke. Shivering, he thrust against her warm palm.
“I—” He inhaled again. “I love you.”
Parting her thighs, he angled her hips higher, and with one sure stroke, he thrust into her. Her body, like a slick, hot glove contracted around him.
Perfect. Not one woman would ever compare to her.
He bent over her until he pressed against her breasts, waist and hips, all soft, subtle and naked curves. As he licked and nibbled down her neck, she arched, threw her head back and shifted between the desk and his body. He loved her unabashed and passionate response and wanted to push so much higher. He lowered his mouth past her collarbone to her breast and lapped, suckled, then grazed his teeth against her nipple.
“Oh, God.” She whimpered. Nails digging into his shoulders, she wrapped those incredible legs around his hips and urged him deeper, closer. “Jake, I can’t think with the way—”
“Shhh. Don’t think. Don’t talk. Just feel. Feel the way I fill you up, move in and out of you, how you fit so tightly around me—like you were made for me, for this moment. Perfect. Nothing else can be this perfect.”
Jake groaned. She was so tight, so hot, so wet as she bucked beneath him, dragging him deeper and deeper. She was so damn good. With Margot, he could forget everything. She made him feel alive and fearless. He clasped her hips and rocked her harder, driving into her until her cry of release ripped through the lab. Only then did he come, burying deep into her, shuddering with the force of it.
After a long moment he found his voice. “Are you all right?” he whispered. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No.” Her laugh sounded husky, sexy and totally satisfied.
Jake smiled and kissed the corner of her mouth. “Good.”
They helped each other get dressed. When Margot slipped into her jacket, he brought the collar up to her chin and kissed her slowly, savoring the way she responded with slow, gentle kisses. He loved her femininity, her vulnerability. She made him feel invincible and so totally male.
The urge to pull her back into his arms was overwhelming, but instead, he stepped back and zipped up her jacket with hands that retained a distinct tremor.
“Let’s get out of here,” she urged. “I want you in my bed. I want to feel your arms around me all night.”
This time it was his turn to laugh. “Try to keep me away.”
When they reached the house, he opened the front door, followed her inside, and then swept her up in his arms. With the heel of his foot, he slammed the front door closed, carried her down the hall, up the stairs and into her room.
Shrouded in Darkness Page 19
