by K. Darblyne
Danni took solace that her words were getting through to her sullen friend. The simple act of sipping tea had been as long awaited as a baby’s first step. The nurse smiled, knowing that it was the first step for her friend in her battle to learn to love and be loved. Pleased that she was a part of the healing that was beginning to take place, Danni lavished in the thought. She bent her head to gently brush her lips on top of the contemplative woman’s head, then slowly moved away to tend to the fire.
The petite woman stood before the fireplace, her mind consumed with thoughts of her friend as she absently watched the flames dancing along the logs. After a few moments, her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a voice coming from behind her. Startled by it, she turned to see her friend, still mesmerized but slowly moving her mouth in speech.
"You need to know…." The words were rough in coming out. "I never wanted," her eyes fell on the woman tending the fire. "I never needed…"
Danni rose, moving closer to her friend. "Garrett, you don’t need to explain anything if you don’t want to."
The firelight that reflected in the tortured globes made them shimmer as they followed the movement towards her. "Please, I want to tell you. You deserve to know what’s going on." She got a far away look in her eye as she thought for a moment. "I never dreamed that I would want to talk about it, ever again."
The nurse braced herself for what was about to unfold. Pulling the empty chair closer to her friend, she sat down, calmly waiting for Garrett to begin.
The surgeon pressed her eyelids closed as she concentrated on her breathing, trying to slow it down to a rhythmic pattern. Biting her lip, she jerked her head into a nod, before turning to look directly into the love-drenched green fields that were her friend’s eyes. Pursing her lips, the woman cautiously began her tale.
"I know exactly what Diana Morgan is going through. I’m a lone surviving family member, too." She held her hand up, not wanting to be interrupted. "I was out with a group of school chums at a movie when it happened. My parents and my younger brother were coming home from one of his baseball games when the accident occurred. They were going through an intersection when they were broadsided and pushed into a telephone pole. I didn’t find out until I came home. The house was empty when I arrived, I thought that they were just out for a celebratory ice cream cone after Lucas’ game. Then the phone rang, changing my life forever. I got the next door neighbor to drive me over to the hospital and that’s where, in no uncertain words, I was informed that my parents were dead." Pausing momentarily to choke back a tear, the woman continued. "They told me that my brother was critically injured and that it would be better if he were to die. He was so badly hurt that it would be impossible for me to take care of him then, or possibly even for the rest of my life. They had me sign a release for the bodies, they told me it was necessary to let them be removed by the funeral home. I found out years later that what I had really signed was the consent to remove Lucas from all life support." She gazed deeply into the misting green reflection pools of her friend. "I trusted them, Danni, I didn’t know any better."
The nurse could feel her heart breaking for Garrett. How she wished she had been there beside her then. But it was the present now, and she would do her best to comfort and support her in any way that she could. "You were just a child then, you weren’t expected to know any better. Why, I wish I knew who that physician was today. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind, taking advantage of the situation and you." She could feel her anger growing, deciding that now was not the time to explode.
"I was devastated with the loss. I had no one to really look after me and since I was only seventeen, I was still considered a minor in the eyes of the law. I was shuffled between the three relatives that I had left in the world, for the next year and a half until I went to college." She sniffed back a tear that was trying to escape. "I never realized how much I took them for granted until they were gone. That’s when I vowed never to let anyone hurt me again…that’s when I decided to not let anyone get close to me. The hurt was just too much when they were gone. I pretty much succeeded," she looked away, shyly admitting, "until I came here to Pittsburgh and couldn’t help myself." The dark haired woman coughed trying to clear her throat. "I told myself that I could make a difference and not let what happened to me, happen to someone else. I found out that I was wrong…dead wrong."
"Gar, there was nothing you could have done to prevent the accident. In fact, you did everything within your powers to give that family a fighting chance," she sighed. "It just wasn’t in the cards. Don’t let yourself think that you can stop the fates in their tracks." She reached out to touch the surgeon’s cheek, catching an isolated tear in its path. "I realize that it wasn’t your original call night, but everything happens for a reason. I think the Chabot twins chose that time to come into the world so that you could be in the right place, at the right time."
"I just know what that girl is going to live through, the torment, the wondering, the pain." The surgeon bit down on her lip in anguish. "I’ve been there, Danni, it’s not a nice place. You wonder if you had been in the car with them…if it had taken another minute longer to leave…would your family still be intact."
She closed her eyelids, letting the tears flow as they may. She was in too deep to try pulling back into that stoic protectiveness that she had used for so many years. She felt the gentle cupping of her cheek by the small hand of her friend and leaned into it. She could not believe that she was doing this, talking about her life, her family, after all these years. The events of the past few weeks had really shaken her world into the realization that she could no longer hold everything inside.
The comfort that she felt with the petite nurse was undeniable, she had felt it from the first day that she talked to her. It was as if she had known her for years, but yet only met her then. The only other person that she had ever felt that close to was her brother and look what had happened to him. For a moment she was seriously scared to let the young woman into her private arena of emotions, or anywhere near her, terrified that some horrible tragedy would befall her also if left to become too close to the ill-fated surgeon.
Sensing the grief and turbulence in her friend’s soul, Danni felt compelled to speak. "I know what you’re thinking, Garrett, and I don’t accept it. You are not responsible for the fates of the people you love." She raised the forlorn woman’s head so that their eyes met. The radiance of the gaze filled her soul and overflowed into the azure pools, giving new life to the still and murky waters of her soul. "You have done nothing but treat people with kindness and love. I see it every time that you’re in the trauma rooms. There is a special aura around you, I know, I can feel it. You have a wonderful gift to give, Garrett, don’t shut the world out. Please…don’t shut me out, not now."
The voice was almost inaudible, "How can you say that? The people I love only end up dead."
"We all will die someday, it’s just a matter of time. Why not enjoy life and each other until that day comes and then be thankful for the chance to have known that kind of bond?" Her eyes stayed pinned to the surgeon. She was not about to let go of this friendship, not now. It took too long to find.
"I still can’t do anything to help Diana…" she countered.
"You could be there for her, let her lean on you." She winked, "I bet she’d jump at the chance to have someone in her life that she could relate to right now. Think of how you would have felt if you would have been able to talk to someone years ago." Danni paused, gauging the effects of her words on her friend. "You could help each other to heal."
The surgeon contemplated the idea. It would have been nice to talk to someone, anyone, before she had so completely walled herself off from the closeness of people in general. "Maybe, you’re right. Maybe I could help her adjust to life or just be there for her." She looked at the blonde in front of her with renewed interest. "Thanks for helping me turn this around. I appreciate that."
She reached out. Yes, for
the first time in so many years, Garrett Trivoli reached out and actually embraced the person who had slipped right under her defenses and into her heart.
Danni wiped a tear from her own eye with the back of her hand, the outer corners of her lips turning up into a smile as she tried to hold back her body’s need to cry. "That’s okay, Gar, that’s what friends are for, to help in any way they can. You’ll see, just give it a chance, give us a chance."
The tall woman nodded her head, "I think I just may." She winked and both women proceeded to giggle in acceptance of the newfound bond between them.
Garrett looked around the cabin; the soft rays of morning’s first light were gently creeping in through the windows. "I guess we didn’t get too much sleep last night. I’m sorry that you…that I kept you awake."
"I’m not. I’m glad that I was able to be here for you. You might as well get used to it, Dr. Trivoli, you’ve got a friend here in Pennsylvania." The last part was a direct mocking of the state motto, and they both knew it as the laughter began. "I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a few more hours of restful sleep, what do you say?"
"Sounds like a plan to me." Garrett raised up out of the chair and started over towards her bunk. "First one up makes breakfast, right?"
"Right! Now let’s get back to sleep." The nurse watched as the bundled woman straightened out the remaining covers on the bed and settled herself under them. It had been a long night, but if it had helped her new friend, it will have been worth it.
*************
The outcome that the last few hours of sleep had on her was in effect, a cleansing of the soul. The normally stoic woman woke up feeling a sense of inner peace, for the first time in her adult life, she welcomed it with open arms. Letting her eyes take in their surroundings, she let her senses imbibe in the warmth and friendliness of the cabin and it’s furnishings. The comfortable rustic appearance had a charm and pleasantness all its own. She put her head back down on the pillow, staring at the underside of the bunk above her. Her thoughts drifted to the young blonde, who was becoming so much more to her then just another passing acquaintance. Her life had been filled with acquaintances, now it was time to make a friend. No, rather to be a friend.
She wondered when the walls of thick black stone had been removed from around her heart. She contemplated over the past night of soul searching, gut twisting, stare you in the face reality of her life, and concluded that she knew exactly when the wall had disappeared. It was when she had gazed into those wondrous green eyes, filled with nothing but love.
With a creak from the wood frame of the bunk beds, tussled blonde hair that was attached to an upside-down face come tumbling over the side of the bed.
"Hey, you’re awake!" Her eyes lit up seeing that the surgeon was lying silently in bed. "Get enough sleep?"
"Hmmm," the dark-haired woman let one eye open wide. "Guess so, I’ve been up for a few minutes."
"What do you say to getting up, now? I’ll make breakfast right after I use the bathroom, okay?" Danni scampered down from the upper bunk. She started walking in the direction of the bathroom when her body was captured by a long drawn-out yawn; her arms stretching up and out as far as they could. When the yawn had dissipated, she shook her head, rubbing her upper arms with her hands to chase the chill away. "I’ll be out in a minute or two," she stated as she entered the small room, closing the door.
The surgeon was caught completely off guard, her voice allowing small chuckles to rise from her mouth. Her life was definitely not going to be the same as before, that was for sure. Garrett threw back the covers and slid her long legs out of the bunk, reaching for the sweats that Danni had packed; she began pulling them on. ‘I bared enough for one morning,’ she thought getting the sweatshirt over her head. ‘I don’t think she could take much more.’
The breakfast had been a simple one that was shared by the two women, easy conversation being interspersed along the way. No mention was made to the tormentuous early morning hours by either one. Each thinking only of the other’s comfort levels with the past events, knowing that when the time was right, they would breech the subject again.
"If we hurry, we’ll have time to hike down to the lake," the small blonde offered. "You like to fish?" Her eyebrows jumped up and down in anticipation.
"Fish? Yeah, I like to fish." The surgeon stopped, thinking back to the last time that she had been fishing. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I haven’t been fishing since…" she gulped, paused and then continued on. "Since the last vacation with my family." She looked over to the gentle face of her friend, taking comfort there; she was able to speak about them for the first time in many years. "Lucas and I would fish all day long, dad would clean them and mom would fry them up for the family dinner that evening."
Danni could feel her emotions surfacing. Thinking that she was going to cry the nurse blinked back the tear forming in her eye. She couldn’t believe that the stoic surgeon had just let her in to the secret world of her youth. This small gesture of sharing was a definite sign that the healing process for her friend was becoming a reality.
"Do you think we could do just a little fishing today, I mean, the two of us?" Garrett looked at the petite woman, hope written all over her face.
Speechless, the blonde hair moved freely on top of the nodding head, while a dazzling smile swept across her face. Her voice was unsteady at first, taken aback by the emotion of the moment. "Sure thing! I’ll get the rods and gear." She pushed back from the table and went to the small closet on the far wall. "Grampa always had them ready to go. I bet…yep! They’re still here." She pulled out a rather dated set of rods and a small tackle box. Holding them up, she proceeded to ask, "Shall we?"
"Sounds like a plan to me."
They hurriedly grabbed their jackets and took off with thoughts of fishing both now and in the past racing through each of their minds.
************
The day quickly sped by as they filled it with exploration of the area that Danni had grown up in, falling in love with it all over again. The petite woman was amazed at how natural it felt to have the surgeon at her side as they roamed the many trails she had used as a girl. The pleasure brought to them in the time spent fishing had been soothing to both of their souls. Garrett was finding it easy to open up to the younger woman, while Danni lavished in the acceptance of herself by another living being, one that would willingly share with her unconditionally. Any scars remaining from the past days of loneliness in her youth now became insignificant.
With the sun now slowly starting it’s descent, the pair packed up their belongings and readied themselves for the ride home. The relaxed feeling of quiet camaraderie allowing each occupant of the homeward bound Blazer to reevaluate her outlooks on life in the light of the newly, bonded friendship.
Continued (Conclusion)
Chapter 12
Danni marveled at the occurrences of the past few days. They had been a roller coaster ride full of emotions, ranging from the deepest depths of self-inflicted depression to the elated joys of finding a kindred spirit. Something was different about her. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew it to be true. For the first time in her life she had slept with no jumbled dreams, no pieces of a puzzle left lingering to haunt her first waking moments of the new day.
Sighing, she lazily rolled over in the large bed, basking in the afterglow of her mind’s delight. Once on her back, she nestled into the soft pillow as she let her right arm sweep the expanse of the bedding, feeling the rumpled sheets that had formed into small mounds and valleys, only to find the object of her desire seemingly just out of her reach. Opening a sleepy eyelid as she raised her head, the petite woman started to survey the bed.
"Danni," the voice was muffled. "Danni, I thought you wanted to ride in together today?" The sounds of footsteps were in the hall. "Hey, sleepy head, are you going to stay in bed all day?" The voice was much louder now as the silk robed form of the tall woman stood in the door
way. She busied herself with the towel that was wrapped around her wet hair on top of her head.
"Argggh! Now I know why I hate daylight. How come the nights never pass that fast when I work them?" The nurse shook her head trying to rid herself of the last remnants of sleep. Danni reached out, fingering the journal that lay on her nightstand.
"Dan, it’s getting late, I don’t think you have time for that this morning." The surgeon eyed the book that her friend was toying with.
"Oh, this? No, I’m just so used to writing in it every time that I wake up, it’s become a habit I guess." She let a smirk play across her face as she realized that for once, she had nothing to write in it. "Funny thing is, I don’t have any bits or pieces to put into it today. I figured that sooner or later the pieces of the puzzle would come together, that’s why I documented them."
"Hmmm, I always liked puzzles. Maybe you should let me look at it sometime." She offered hoping that she was not being too presumptuous. "Maybe you are just too close to the clues to see what they are all about?"
"I never thought of that. You might be on to something there." The blonde hair tossed from side to side as the young woman stretched first this way and then that way, trying to limber up her muscles before using them. "Okay, I’m up now." Her body betrayed her with a yawn. "Excuse me," she rolled her eyes shyly. "How long before we leave?"
