Aem.
Now Iesus blesse vs, why cosen, are you mad?
Lod.
Goe to you spirit of a feather, be not so soft hearted, leaue your nicety, or by this hemp Ile so hamper thy affections in the halter of thy louers absence, making it vp in a gordian knot of forgetfulnesse, that no Alexander of thy allurements, with all the swordes of thy sweet words, shall euer cut in peeces.
Aem.
Lord, how you roule in your rope-ripe termes.
Lod.
Goe to, tell me, will you fasten the ladder or no?
Aem.
I know not what I should say t’ee: I will fasten it, so only your selfe will come vp.
Lod.
Only my selfe will come vp then.
Aem.
Nay sweet Cuze, sweare it.
Lod.
If I should sweare thou wouldst curse me: take my word in a halters name, and make the ladder as fast to the Tarrasse, as thou would’st be to Aurelio.
Aem.
Nay see if he doe not make me giue ouer againe?
Lod.
Was there euer such a blew kitling? fasten it now [...] or by heauen thou do’st loose me for euer.
Aem.
Well sir, remember your word; I will fasten it, but yfaith Cuze, is not the Gentleman, and his parting choller parted yet?
Lod.
Yfaith with much adoe:
Aem.
Nay, nay, choose him; I shall liue, if they be not [...] and if I liue till his choller kill me, I shall liue till he leaue louing me, and that will be a good while first.
Lod.
Lord, Lord, who has enform’d you of such amorous [Page] [...] [Page] [...] feruency in him: are you so confident in his kindnesse?
Aem.
Nay by my troth, tis but a carelesse confidency neither, which alwaies last longer then that which is timorous: well Cuze, here I haue fastned it for your pleasure; but alas, the feare of my fathers comming does so distract me that I scarce know what I doe or say.
Lod.
Your father? do’st thinke we would venture all this prepa [...]tion, and not make him safe?
Aem.
But are you sure he is safe?
Lod.
Am I sure this is Aurelio? looke vpon him wench, is it not thy loue? thy life? come sir, mount.
Aem.
O cosen Lodwicke, doe you thus cosen and betray me?
Lod.
Cuze, Cuze, thou hast acted thy dissembling part long enough, in the most modest iudgement, and passing naturally: giue ouer with thy credit then, vnmaske thy loue, let her appeere in her natiue simplicity, striue to conceale her no longer from thy loue, for I must needs tell thee he knowes all.
Aem.
What does he know?
Lod.
Why all that thou told’st me, that thou lou’st him more then he can loue thee, that thou hast set vp thy resolution, in despight of friends or foes, weales or woes, to let him possesse thee wholly, and that thou didst wooe me to bring him hither to thee: All this he knowes; that it was thy deuice to prepare this ladder, and in a word, all the speech that past betwixt thee and me he knowes, I told him euery word truly and faithfully Gods my Iudge.
Aem.
Now was there euer such an immodest creature?
Lod.
Via, with all vaine modesty, leaue this colouring, and strip thy loue starke naked, this time is too precious to spend vainly; mount I say.
Aur.
Modell of heauenly beauty.
Lod.
Sownds, wilt thou melt into rime a the tother side? shall we haue lines? change thy stile for a ladder, this will bring thee to Parnassus, vp I say.
Aur.
Vnworthy I t’approach the furthest step to that felicity that shines in her.
Lod.
O spurblinde affection, I haue seene a fellow, to a worse end ascend a ladder with a better will, and yet this is in the way of marriage, and they say, marriage and hanging haue both one constellation. To approue the which old saying, see if a new ladder make ’em not agree.
Aem.
Peace, some bodie comes.
Lod.
That you heard, was but a mouse, so boy I warrant thee.
Aur.
O sacred goddesse, what soe’re thou art
That in meere pitty to preserue a soule
From vndeseru’d destruction, hast vouchsaf’t
To take Aemiliaes shape.
Lod.
What a poeticall sheepe is this? S’life, will you stand riming there vpon a stage, to be an eye-marke to all that passe? is there not a chamber by? withdraw I say for shame, haue you no shame in you? heere will come some bodie presently I lay my life on’t.
Aur.
Deare mistresse, to auoid that likely danger,
Vouchsafe me onely priuate conference,
And ’tis the fulnes of my present hopes.
Exeunt.
Lod.
Aurelio, Occasion is bald, take her by the forelock; so, so. In Hymens name get you together, heere will I stand Sentinell. This is the backe gate to Honorios house, which shall be Aurelios, if God giue him grace to weepe for his fathers death in time. And in this garden, if I could see the chaste Lucresse, or the affable mistresse Temperance, I might (thus wrapt in my cloake) steale a little courtship through the chinke of a pale. But indeed I thinke it safer to sit closer, and so to cloud the summe of my visnomy, that no eye discerne it.
(He sits downe, and muffles himselfe in his cloake.)
So be it, thats my resolution. Now to my contemplation, this is no Pandarisme, is it? No, for there is neither money nor credit propos’d or expected, and besides there is no vnlawfull act intended, no not this same lasciua actio animi: I thinke for his part, much lesse hers: go to, let me do my kinswoman, and her sex right, sit at rest with me then reputation, and conscience, fall asleepe with the world, but this same idle attendance is the spite of it, Idlenesse is accounted with other men a sinne, to me ’tis a penance, I was begot in a stirring season, for now hath my soule a thousand fancies in an instant, as what wench dreams on when she lies on her backe, when one hen layes an egge and another sits it, whether that hen shall mother that chicken? If my bull leape your cow, is not the calfe yours? yes no doubt, for Aedificium cedit solo saies the Lawyer: and then to close all comes in a sentence, Non omnia possumus omnes: for some are borne to riches, others to verses, some to be bachelers, others to be cuckolds, some to get crownes, and others to spend’m, some to get children, and others to keepe’em: and all this is but idlenesse, would to God I had some scuruy poeme about me to laugh at,
(Enter Temperance.)
but marke, yonders a motion to be seene.
Temp.
Yonder he sits yfaith, well done true loue, good Signior Leonoro, he keepes promise the best, he does not see me yet.
Lod.
’Tis the stai’d Madam Temperance, a pretty pinnace she has bene in her daies, and in her nights too, for her burthen, and reasonable good vnder sayle, and see she hath discouered a sayle, see, see, she hales him in, ha? tis this way to the rewards, slight ’tis this way: I hope the baud knowes not me, and yet I know not, she may be a witch, for a whore she was before I knew her, a baud I haue knowne her any time this dozen years, the next step to honour then is a witch, because of Nature, for where the whore ends, the baud begins, and the corruption of a baud, is the generation of a witch. And Pythagoras holds opinion, that a witch turnes to a wild Cat, as an old Ostler turnes to an ambling nagge.
Enter Leonoro muffled in his cloake with Lyonell.
Leo.
This is the backe gate, where Temperance should meete me at this howre.
Lyon.
I wonder she fayles, for I see her not.
Leo.
Why sits that fellow there troe? come let’s houer here abouts ‘twill not be long er’e we encounter.
Exit.
Lod.
So, now this riddle is expounded, this baud tooke m
e for this aduenturer whom (twentie to one) she attended, to waft him into Lucretias chamber, what a beast was I, not to apprehend this aduantage, thus muffled as I am, she could not haue perceiued mee till I had been in, And I might safely haue staid a while without endangering my louers:
(Enter Temperance stealing along the stage.)
S’light she takes me still for her first man.
Tem.
Come, come, gingerly for Gods sake, gingerly.
Exeunt.
E [...]t [...]r Leonoro and Lyonell.
L [...]o.
SE [...] Lyonell, yet she is not come, and the priuy atte [...]dant is gone.
Lyo.
I wonder what it was.
Leo.
I [...]eare me some other clyent of hers, whom she pr [...]fe [...]res before me, come, we must not linger here too long together, wee’ll enter on this backside, to the Emperours head, where we will stay a little, and then make the last triall of this bauds honesty.
(Enter Quintiliano, Giouenelli, and Fannio in their doublet and hose.)
Quint.
Come A [...]cient, lets leaue our company a little, and ayre our selues in this backside. — Who goes there?
Leo.
A friend.
Quint.
The word.
Leo.
God saue you Captaine Quintiliano.
Quint.
Shote him Ancient, a spie, the word’s the Emperours head, and thither you shall go sir.
Leo.
Pardon me good Captaine.
Gio.
Come, be not retrograde to our desires.
Leo.
I attend a friend of mine.
Quint.
Th’ast attended him already, I am witnesse too’t, deni’t and he dare, whatsoe’re he bee, and he shall attend thee another while, and he will: Th’art as good a man as he, and he be the Duke himselfe, for a Clarissimo; entertaine him Ancient, bid the Clarissimo, welcome, Ile call a drawer, and wee’ll haue some wine in this Arbor.
Exit.
Gio.
Y’are very welcome Signior Clarissimo, desire you more acquaintance sir.
Leo.
My name is Leonoro sir, & indeed I scarce know you.
Gio.
No sir, and you know me, you must know as much as I know, for Scientia and Scientificus is all one; but that’s all one, in truth sir, you shall not spend a penny here, I had money, I thanke God euen now, and peraduenture shall haue againe e’re we part, I haue sent to a friend of mine.
(Enter Quintilliano and a drawer with a cup of wine & a towell.)
Quint.
Here honourable Clarissimo, I drinke to thee.
Leo.
Thanke you good Captaine.
Quint.
S’fut, winesucker, what haue you fild vs heere, baldredash? taste Leonoro.
Leo.
Me thinks ’tis sacke.
Geo.
Let vs taste sir, ’tis claret, but it has beene fetch’t againe with Aqua vitae.
Quint.
S’light me thinks t’as taken salt water, who drew this wine you rogue?
Draw.
My fellow Sam drew it sir, the wine’s a good neat wine, but you loue a pleasanter grape, I’le fit your pallate sir.
(He stands close.)
Quint.
Is this thy boy Leonoro?
Leo.
For fault of a better sir.
Quint.
Afore heauen ’tis a sweete fac’t child, me thinks he should show well in womans attire: and hee tooke her by the lilly white hand, and he laid her vpon a bed. Ile helpe thee to three crownes a weeke for him, and she can act well. Ha’st euer practis’d my pretty Ganimede?
Lyo.
No, nor neuer meane sir.
Gio.
Meane sir? No marry Captaine, there will neuer be meane in his practise I warrant him.
Quint.
O finely taken; Sirha, Clarissimo, this fellow was an arrant Asle this fore-noone, afore he came to be an Antient.
Leo.
But where’s your Lieftenant Captaine?
Quint.
Sownds man, hee’s turnd swaggerer.
Leo.
Ist possible?
Quint.
Swaggerer by this light he; and is in the next roome writing a challenge to this tall Gentleman my Antient here.
Leo.
What, mutinous in your owne company?
Quint.
S’fut man, who can bridle the asses valour?
Giou.
S’blood and any man thinke to bridle me.
Leo.
But what was the quarrell?
Quint.
Why sir, because I entertaind this Gentleman for my Antient, (being my deare friend and an excellent scholler) he takes pepper ith’ nose and sneeses it out vpon my Antient; now sir (he being of an vncol [...]-carrying spirit) fals foule on him, cals him gull openly; and euer since I am faine to drinke with ’em in two roomes, dare not let’em come together for my life, but with pen and inke-hornes, and so my Lieftenant is in the next chamber casting cold Inke vpon the
(Enter Innocentio.)
flame of his courage, to keepe him from the blot of cowardise, see where he comes with his challenge: good Clarissimo hold my Antient.
Leo.
Good Antient, forbeare in a Tauerne.
Quint.
Reuenge noble Lieftenant, hast thou done it?
Innoc.
S’light I thinke I haue pepperd him, but twas his owne seeking you know.
Quint.
Thats certaine.
Giou.
Sownds my seeking sir?
Quint.
Hold him Leonoro; and if it be possible, perswade him to heare the challenge from the enemies owne mouth.
Leo.
Ile vndertake he shall Captaine: Good Antient let me entreate you.
Giou.
Well sir, because y’are a stranger to me, you shall doe more with me.
Leo.
Thanke you good ancient.
Quint.
Reade fiery Lieftenant, reade boy, legibly.
Innoc.
Here it is sir: Signior Giouenelli, it is not ignorant vnto you, that euen now you crost me ouer the cocks-comb.
Giou.
I did so sir: I will not denie it I warrant you.
Leo.
Good Ancient peace.
Innoc.
And that openly, or else it would neuer haue greeu’d me.
Quint.
That openly was all indeede.
Innoc.
And moreouer, very vnreuerendly to call me gull, and asse to my face: And therefore, though I held it good discretion in me to winke at the blow, not seeing to take notice of it.
Leo.
Good discretion in deede.
Innoc.
Yet know that I will haue satisfaction from you.
Giou.
Well sir, and you shall.
Quint.
Nay good Ancient heare him.
Innoc.
And desire you to send me word, whether you will maintaine it or no, hoping that you will not offer that discourtesie to doe me wrong, and stand to it when you haue done.
Leo.
That were foule indeede.
Innoc.
And as for the words, in that you call’d me gull, and Asse to my face, resolue me by letter (for I do not thinke fit we should meete) first whether you spake any such words or no: and secondly by whom you meant’em. And it by me (as I thinke you durst not) confesse you are sorry for’hem: and if I haue offended you, I heartily aske you forgiuenesse. And so farewell.
Quint.
Afore heauen Ancient, this would haue tickled you, but good Leonoro, and thou bee’st a right Clarissimo, lets make’em friends, and drinke to one another: S’fut, we haue no wine here me thinks, where’s this Aperner?
Drawer.
Here Sir.
Quint.
Draw.
I Captaine, and if this please not your taste, either you or I cannot tast a cup of wine.
Quint.
Sounds y’are very saucy sir, here Lieftenant, drink to thy Ancient, and voide mutinies with your officer, marshall law is dangerous.
Innoc.
Is he content I should drinke to him?
Leo.
He is I warrant thee.
Innoc.
Why then Ancient good lucke t’ee.
Giou.
Let come Lieftenant, I pledge you.
Quint.
Why so, now my company is cur’de againe, afore ’twas wounded. Come honorable Clarissimo, lets retire to our strength, taste a fresh carouse or two, and then march home with Musicke. Tapster, call vs in some Musicke.
Draw.
I will sir.
Finis Actus Tertij.
ACTUS QUARTUS.
Enter Quintiliano, Leonoro, Innocentio, Lionello, Fannio, with Musicke.
Quint.
STrike vp Scrapers, honorable Clarissimo, and thy sweet Adonis, adieu, remember our deuice at the show soone.
Leo.
I will not faile Captaine, farewell t’ee both: come Lionel, now let vs trie the truth of Madam Temperance, and see if shee attend vs.
Innoc.
I hope by this time shee remembers her promise sir.
Exeunt Leo. and Lio.
Quint.
How now Lieftenant, where’s my Ancient?
Innoc.
Marry Captaine y’aue left him casting the reckoning ith’chimney.
Quint.
Why then his purse and his stomacke wil be empty together, and so I cashier him; let the scholler report at Padua, that Venice has other manner of learning belongs to it: what does his Continuum & Contiguum here? let’em goe to the Inke pot and beware of the wine pot.
Fill red cheek’t Bacchus, let the Burdeux grape
Skip like la voltos in their swelling vaines.
Te dan, dan tidle, te dan de dan tidle didle, &c.
Innoc.
O God Captaine that I could dance so.
Quint.
He tooke her by (strike vp fidlers) the lilly white hand and he laid her vpon the bedde. Oh what a spirit haue I now? I long to meete a Sergeant in this humor, I would but haue one whiffe at one of these same peuter button’d shoulder-clappers, to trie whether this chopping knife or their pestels were the better weapons. Here’s a blade Boy, it was the old Dukes first predecessors; Ile tell thee what Lieftenant, this sword has dubd more Knights then thy knife has opened Oysters.
The Complete Poetical Works of George Chapman Page 196
