Charlie stopped dead in her tracks. “What in the blue hell are you talking about?”
“With your hunting, you are exceptionally disciplined. You track, stalk and sit for quite some time waiting for game, don’t you? Dressing a kill, tanning a hide, butchering the meat. It’s all very disciplined.” He spoke calmly as though he wasn’t tearing her world apart.
The very idea what she did was disciplined, that she was controlled, shocked her to her very core. “I never thought of it that way.”
“It’s one of the reasons I was drawn to you.” Kenneth continued to speak with such frankness.
“You like me because I sit in a tree for two hours without having to piss?”
A laugh burst from his throat. “You never cease to surprise me.”
“Good. I sure as hell don’t want to be boring.” Charlie found her own mouth turning up in a grin. What was it about this stiff Army captain that appealed to her? He was very different from Eli, couldn’t be more different. She missed her best friend, but Kenneth did bring an element of new into her life.
“You are anything but boring.” Kenneth looked up into the darkening sky. “One of these days I would truly like to kiss you.”
Oh hell.
“If you try it without my say-so, you’ll get yourself a black eye for the effort.” She wasn’t allowing Kenneth to take without her permission either. Damn men thought they could do whatever they want.
“I would never.” Kenneth scowled, looking affronted she would even suggest such a thing.
“Glad we’re in agreement on that.”
“I’m a soldier and a gentleman.” He straightened his shoulders, a seemingly impossible task since they were as straight as a razor already.
“That doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. I’ve seen self-proclaimed gentlemen act like rutting stags after a female in heat.” Charlie didn’t know why she was being so fractious. Kenneth had been well behaved, but that didn’t meant she wouldn’t be on her guard.
“You do have a unique way of expressing yourself.”
She shrugged. “I’m not gonna apologize for being me.”
At this he smiled. “One of the reasons you intrigued me is your abundance of self-confidence.”
Charlie turned away so he wouldn’t see the color in her cheeks. Self-confidence? She had so little of it, she was surprised he would assume she had any. Instead he thought she had a lot. An “abundance”. A ridiculous bubble of laughter threatened to erupt from her throat. She was only brave when her loved ones were in danger. Otherwise she hid from the world.
Kenneth didn’t know who she was. Not really. He saw what she showed the world. That was no fault of his own. She didn’t let anyone see the true Charlie. If he wanted to court her, he should recognize she wasn’t who he saw on the outside.
Disappointment speared her heart. Perhaps he would never see beyond the shell that protected her.
Charlie had never been so lonely in her life. She had Isabelle to talk to, but between raising three boys, teaching music to a few children, and her patients, Iz had little time to listen to her sister’s troubles. There was no one else close by. Her other sisters, Josephine and Francesca, lived three days’ ride southwest. Charlie could write to them, but they would know something was wrong, then leave their children to race to the fort.
The last thing Charlie wanted was more fuss made about her. She had successfully avoided Eli and Jane for two weeks. Kenneth had come to see her on numerous occasions, escorting her to supper several times. He’d even brought her a bouquet of wildflowers. The captain was doing everything right and people at the fort noticed his attention. Too bad she saw nothing beyond a nice man who didn’t know her at all.
Some of the ladies who had previously stuck their noses in the air when Charlie walked past had started to greet her or nod in passing. It was strange to be accepted after ten years of being ignored—or worse, treated with disdain. Now because she had become of interest to the man who ran the fort, she was socially different. That left a bad taste in her mouth.
It was a beautiful late spring morning and the sun had just started to pain the sky in hues of pink and orange. She rode her gelding into the woods beyond the fort alone. Eli hadn’t accompanied her on every hunting trip she’d taken, but she still felt his absence.
She missed him.
Eli had been a part of her life for ten years. Leaving him behind for good made her heart ache. Their last encounter had yanked dark moments from behind the closed door of her memories. She’d hardly slept in the two weeks since and when she did, nightmares clawed at her.
Kenneth had already remarked on her appearance, the bags beneath her eyes and her haggard face. Charlie wasn’t pretty to start with and right about then, she was downright scary-looking.
The birds sang into the clear morning air, squirrels chattered and nearby a dog barked. It was idyllic and perfect. If only it was as calm inside her soul.
Her bow sat on her back, comfortable and familiar. The horse beneath her was also comforting. Yet the space behind her reminded her that her life had changed yet again.
“You need help?” The male voice startled her and she reached for the pistol on her hip.
Gunther stood near a tree, his expression guarded. He’d never spoken to her in the ten years since she’d been held captive by his mother and brother. True to his word, he’d left her and Isabelle alone. His face was as ugly as it had been years ago, during the harsh winter that almost broke her. He was the one person at the fort who was more alone than she was.
“What do you want?” Her voice was as sharp as the knife in her boot.
He shrugged. “You’re hunting without the tall man.”
“That’s none of your business.” She was dismayed to realize everyone knew she and Eli had had a falling out.
“I thought you might need help.” He gestured to the woods. “The tall man usually helps you.”
“You’ve been watching me?” She cocked the gun, her hand shaking with the rage she’d bottled up inside for so long. “You have a death wish?”
“No, I promised your sister I would watch over you.”
This was news to her. Isabelle trusted him to watch over Charlie? That was startling.
“I don’t believe you.”
His massive shoulders moved again. She lowered the pistol. Even now his posture was defeated. There had never been anything aggressive in his behavior toward her when she’d been captive. He hadn’t hurt her and he’d done what he could to protect Isabelle. He was physically powerful, but it seemed his mother had drained him of any aggression. Or perhaps it was all a ruse. The Beckers were very skilled at deceit.
Charlie shook her head. “Nope, I can’t and I won’t believe you, Gunther. You’d best be on your way.”
He nodded, accepting her decision before he lumbered off into the woods.
It wasn’t the companionship she wanted, and she would remain alone. As pitiful as it was, she had considered accepting his offer. The very man who reminded her of the nightmare of her past. Her life had become a sad parody of what it could be and she didn’t know how to change it.
She headed out on her own, her thoughts troubled and distracted. More than likely her hunt would yield nothing, but she didn’t want to be at the fort today. There were too many reminders of what she wanted to avoid.
When the sound of twigs snapping sounded behind her, she stopped. “I told you no, Gunther. Do I need to spell it for you?” She turned to find two soldiers behind her, smirking. The pistol was in her hand in the blink of an eye. While her heart pounded, Charlie remained outwardly calm. Being a hunter had put her in many dangerous situations and she never lost control. At least not with an animal. These two men fell into that category.
“What do you want?”
“Where’s your man?” The tall one—his name was Volner—
eyed her with a greasy smile.
“I don’t have a man. I take care of myself.” She gestured toward where the fort lay. “I’m sure you have some soldiering to do.”
“Nope. We’re off duty.” Volner scratched his balls. She wondered what kind of critters lived in that particular hellhole.
“What do you want?” She slid the knife from the sheath on her back. If they decided to attack, she would have a fighting chance.
“Oxley wants company.”
She snorted. “You came to the wrong girl for that. I hear Rosie’s got a whorehouse about ten miles east of here.”
“He don’t want to pay for nothing and I’m here to make sure he don’t.” Volner stepped closer and her hand tightened on the hilt of the knife.
“Then you got a palm and five fingers.” She cocked the pistol. “Get moving.”
Volner moved to the right and the fat one to the left. Charlie knew a moment of fear, and she was a helpless child again for that moment. She pushed aside her weakness and hardened herself. Her muscles poised to fight for her life.
“Fixit ain’t here to protect you. I hear he’s been keeping company with that little bitty thing. She ain’t gonna give him the ride you would.” Volner nodded at his friend and they flanked her.
Her finger tightened on the trigger and she prepared to kill her first human being.
Chapter Seven
Eli found Mason hunched over his desk in the small school, no doubt in preparation for the day. Charlie’s brother-in-law had been a university professor from North Carolina who had chased gold west only to end up near death somewhere on the trail to Oregon. Fortunately for him, the Chastain sisters had found him and nursed him back to health.
He’d married Isabelle and now had three beautiful children as well. Mason had always been kind to Eli but not condescending. Unlike many of the other men in the fort, he treated Eli like an equal, no matter Mason’s upper-class background and breeding.
“Good morning.” Mason smiled. “It’s always a sincere pleasure to see you, Eli. What brings you to my domain?”
Eli looked at Mason’s earnest gaze and sat on a bench with a bone-jarring thump. His throat tightened. “I’m in love with Charlie.” The words tumbled out without a shred of control.
“This is not news. I believe it’s been apparent for many years.” Mason looked apologetic. “The only person who didn’t appear to acknowledge this was you.”
Misery made Eli’s shoulders slump. “She doesn’t see me.”
Mason closed the book in his hand. “Charlotte refuses to see anything beyond her own despair. She endured much on the journey west and she hasn’t yet escaped the shadows that hold her captive. Isabelle despairs her sister will ever emerge into the light.”
“What happened to her?” Eli couldn’t stop himself from asking. “A few weeks ago, she, um, puked over a memory, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. And she hasn’t talked to me since.”
Mason stared hard at Eli. “Charlotte is a very private person. She does not let many into her world, but she allowed you in. When she is ready, she will tell you what she can. Do not expect her to reveal all.”
“I just want her to talk to me again. I miss her.” Eli didn’t know how to even get close enough to talk to her. “I thought if I married someone else, I could put her out of my heart.”
Mason shook his head. “Elijah, you cannot flush love from your heart. Once embedded, it will never let loose, no matter what.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.” Eli put his head in his hands. “I’ve made a mess of things.”
Mason cleared his throat. “I believe that’s an understatement.”
“What do I do?” Eli heard the desperation in his voice and hated it. It reminded him of Fixit, the gangly fool who could hardly get out of his own way. Eli was a man now, stronger than the boy he’d been so long ago. Just like Charlie was not the girl she was, but that didn’t mean she was less. It meant she was more.
“Apologize for being an idiot. Ladies do appreciate a man who can grovel.” Mason smiled. “The good news is I believe Charlotte returns the love you have for her. It’s going to be a difficult task for her to accept it. Especially if you’re courting Jane Flanagan.”
Eli’s cheeks heated. “Jane would be a good wife.”
“I don’t disagree, but would she make you a good wife?” Mason narrowed his gaze. “You have to choose your own path, Elijah. It may feel as though you’re chewing rocks when you make that choice. However, your heart will know when it’s the right one.”
Eli scowled. “That’s not helpful.”
“I can’t tell you what your path is. You are the only one who can do that.” Mason tented his fingers. “I spent the first part of my life indulging in the vices of the rich, thinking I was above others, drinking and whoring. Then I almost died and was reborn as the man you see before you. Better than I was? Maybe, but decidedly different. My advice is to make a choice you won’t regret.”
Eli didn’t think he would become a whole different person if he married Jane. She was a sweet woman who no man could fault as a mate. But the problem was, she wasn’t Charlie. No matter how he tried to convince himself to forget her, his heart always returned to the woman who didn’t want him.
“Don’t despair, Elijah.” Mason leaned forward and patted Eli’s shoulder. “You have mettle. Stand strong and have faith in how you feel.”
“That’s what I’ve been doing for ten years. Waiting for her to see how I felt.” Eli got to his feet, too agitated to sit still. “Then I kissed her—”
“Wait a moment, she let you kiss her?” Mason’s brows nearly touched his hairline.
Eli stared out the window on the wall. “Not exactly. I kissed her, but she didn’t let me. Ended up on my ass with a sore jaw.”
Mason laughed. “That sounds like the little one I know.”
“She’s not so little. And her fist is as hard as a hammer.” Eli clenched his hands. “She made it clear she doesn’t want me around. I know I ain’t a catch, but I would always take care of her, love her.”
Mason stepped up beside him. “Maybe she doesn’t need to be taken care of. Perhaps what she wants is someone to respect her many skills and love her for who she is, no matter how different she is.”
Eli blinked. “I do respect her and love her. I don’t want her to change.”
“Have you informed her of these important facts?”
“No. I reckon I should’ve done that.” Eli was smart, but sometimes he was dumb as a bag of rocks. How could Charlie know what he felt if he never told her?
Idiot.
Charlie told her arms to stay straight and true, her weapons firmly pointed at the rat bastards. Her finger itched to tug on the trigger, to end the sons of bitches who thought it a good idea to intimidate her. She had no doubt they meant her harm. What she didn’t know was why.
The fat one tripped over anything near his feet. He wouldn’t be a problem. The taller man would be the one to watch. He had a deadness in his eyes, one she recognized from another man, Karl Becker, who along with his mother Camille and Gunther stole their wagon and held her family hostage. The evil man and his equally evil mother had done more damage in the short time Isabelle and Charlie had been their captives than any human being should have.
She shook off the memories that crawled up her throat then tightened her grip on the pistol. She had one chance to hit her mark, and if she didn’t, there was always the knife. However, she was realistic enough to recognize she didn’t have much of a chance to overpower them. She had to outthink them and outsmart them.
“You want a hole in your head?” She stepped backward, keeping her back to the forest. Damn good thing she’d spent years exploring because she knew right where she was. There was a ditch about ten feet behind her and if she were lucky, they would fall into it before realizing it was
there.
For the first time in two weeks, she let herself miss Eli. He hunted with her often and if she hadn’t been angry at him, he would be there now.
“Nope, I want to have fun.” The tall one grinned.
“Why me? I’m no siren made to tempt men.” She made it another three feet.
“I don’t fucking care what you look like.” He flipped his hand in dismissal and she told her gut not to clench. It didn’t listen. “I want you because of what you mean to him.”
She didn’t need to ask who “him” was. “Why do you care what Eli feels?”
“Fixit is a little shit. He thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants, but he can’t. I am going to make him regret going up against me.” The man grinned, revealing yellowed teeth that resembled a wolf’s fangs more than a human mouth. “After I’m done with you, you won’t forget me.”
“Yes I will, you fucking idiot.” She sneered at him. “Because I don’t give a shit who you are. I’m also going to kill you.”
The man blinked before he appeared to shake off her threat. “Feel free to call out my name when I fuck you.”
He moved closer, but his gaze flickered to her left. Too late: she had forgotten about the shorter man, and his fist crashed into the side of her face. Stars danced across her vision as the coppery taste of blood coated her mouth.
She squeezed the trigger as she fell. Cursing exploded heavenward as the smell of gunpowder lit the air. She barely felt the ground as she slammed against it. She tried not to lose consciousness, but blackness roared through her. She thought she heard fists crunching against flesh, and then she knew no more.
Chapter Eight
Eli carried a few boards toward the fence around the guardhouse at the gate to the fort. Some drunk fool had a fight with another drunk fool and they had both landed at the fence, splintering a few boards. It wasn’t the first time, it wouldn’t be the last.
The morning air was heavy with the scent of summer flowers the officers’ wives planted. The sounds of a normal day echoed around him, including soldiers running drills, dogs barking, a few women chatting as they hung laundry. All of it familiar, so why did he feel like it was all wrong? The hairs on the back of his neck stood up.
The Gem: The Malloy Family, Book 12 Page 6
