by Helen Conrad
Her voice choked and tears filled her eyes. Matt reached for her but she pulled away and kept walking. “I lie awake at night wishing I’d been stronger,” she said softly. “But there’s one thing I don’t feel guilty about.” She looked up at him. “I never lied to him. Never. I would have died first.”
His face turned to stone and he looked away. He knew that was aimed right at him. He knew it also set up a pattern for how she expected to live her life. And so far, she thought he was way outside that parameter. What could he do to change her mind?
He thought of his own father. The Carringtons had been wealthy for generations, but for some reason, his father hadn’t used that as protection against corruption.
That was the irony right there. At some point, while Matt was in college, he’d realized his father and his partner were doing creative bookkeeping, taking funds from one place to apply them to another where they thought more benefit might accrue. They’d kept accounts in two sets of books. They’d taken funds entrusted to them by clients for investment purposes and used them for themselves-—covering bad stock decisions and old debts.
He’d been like Janet then, shocked that his own father could be a crook. He’d confronted his father. With the idealism of youth—or maybe the false self righteousness was more like it-- and he got kicked out of his parents’ house and lives for his efforts. They decided if he didn’t like where the money came from, he could pay for his last year in college himself.
They expected him to apologize to get back into their good graces, but he wouldn’t do it. In the end, he went into a special program that led to training for undercover operations. A crime fighter. His aim was to be a good guy, as opposed to the road his father had taken.
How could he explain that to Janet? He was trained to lie in order to do good. He wasn’t sure she would ever accept that.
Meanwhile, his father went on with his activities. It all worked fine for years. Everyone got richer, and while that was happening, no one was complaining. Eventually, as these things always did, it all began to fall apart. And finally, his father was indicted for embezzlement.
That had been three years before and had set the stage for the last major fight between him and his brothers. Reid, the oldest, had always defended their parents. He stood by them when the crash came. In fact, using his lawyerly skills, he got his father off with probation. Meanwhile, his father’s partner committed suicide.
Matt couldn’t handle that. He thought his father should have paid a higher price for what he did and he blamed Reid for it. He told him so and had ended up with a bloody lip for his trouble—and an estrangement between them that had never been healed. But this was all so complicated—how in hell did he make Janet see it the way he did?
They walked along the bank for a few more minutes, then sat in the shade. Matt stretched back and talked, telling her about Hawaii. She lay back and listened, falling into in a dream between sleep and consciousness. An insect buzzed drowsily nearby. The warmth of the sun fell on her in tiny patterned patches through the leaves of the trees that sighed and shifted above her.
“Matt?” she murmured, reaching for him.
He was watching her, leaning on an elbow. “Janet,” he said softly, “I don’t want to lose you.”
She looked up questioningly, a little startled. “I don’t know what you mean.” Why would he lose her? She wasn’t going anywhere.
His hand smoothed the hair from her cheek and she closed her eyes, luxuriating in his touch. She didn’t want to think of the future, of losing or keeping him or what she would do next. She only wanted to enjoy what she had right now.
But Matt was wide awake. He had lost before and he’d thought he would never let himself be that vulnerable again. And yet here he was. He couldn’t help himself.
His strong, hard face didn’t move a muscle, but inside he still winced when he thought of her. Cecile Longworth. The great love of his life.
His mouth twisted in sarcasm as he thought that. Lovely, blond, ethereal Cecile. He’d met her when they’d both been doing undercover work for the government. He’d been in awe of her at first. She’d been so brave, so intrepid, so ready to risk anything to get the job done.
And such a good liar. He’d thought he’d found the woman of his dreams. It was only later that the nightmare began, when he found that Cecile was so good at undercover work because she wasn’t capable of being straightforward, that she considered all of life a game. Manipulating him was just another move on a game board that included other players, two other men, maybe three, who she was manipulating too. By the time the truth came out, Matt had been caught like a fly in the middle of her web, struggling to be free, but doomed.
He could still hear her laughter as he’d walked out of her apartment that cold, rainy night, almost six years ago. He knew she’d been certain he’d come back, in spite of everything. And there were long, lonely nights in the next few weeks when he’d been tempted.
In the end, he’d resigned his job and left town, and he’d agreed never to work undercover again. Until now.
He’d been working undercover for the first time in years, and he’d found a woman he couldn’t resist again. Strange coincidence. Or was it just his fate to always want what it was impossible to have?
He looked at Janet again. Maybe it wasn’t so impossible this time. Janet was real and warm and loving in a way Cecile had never been. Maybe she would be more understanding as well, once he’d explained everything to her. He should explain right now. His hand balled into a fist as he thought about it. He knew he should get it over with, get it out in the open. She deserved to know the truth.
Not yet, something inside him said again. Wait a little longer.
Funny how he could be so fearless against physical danger and such a coward about this.
He bent and kissed her. “From the moment I pulled you out from behind those drapes, I knew you were going to be special to me,” he told her softly. “Just don’t run away from me, Janet. Promise me that. Whatever happens.”
She stared up at him, troubled by the intensity in his voice. She was in love. She was sure of that now.
After only two days? the rational part of her mind silently asked.
After only two days, she answered back, unconcerned about the improbability of it.
She’d lived so long by reason and common sense, she knew what that was all about. Could she give up logic and let emotion carry her away? More and more during the last two days she’d been doing exactly that. And despite the doubts and worries, she’d never been happier.
“I promise,” she said rashly, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him. “Oh, I promise.”
Their raft ride to the pier was calm. They were tired but happy as they turned in their raft and headed to the parking lot.
Janet had a sunburn on her nose. She could feel the skin tightening. A warm glow was spreading and not just across her skin, but throughout her body. She stretched languorously beside Matt in the car as they headed home.
“I feel like purring,” she said.
His foot hit the brake and he caught hold of her, kissing her mouth, holding her warm body in his hands. “You purr and I’ll ravish you again, just like last night,” he muttered, only partly teasing.
He let go reluctantly, finally reacting to the honking coming from behind. “I don’t want to let go of you,” he said as he resumed driving, taking her hand and placing it on his thigh with a pat. “Keep it there,” he told her. “That way I’ll know you’re still beside me.”
The mood stayed with them until they drove into Mavis’s driveway and found a strange car parked near the front door.
“Who’s here?” Janet asked, straightening in surprise.
“I don’t know,” Matt answered, his voice taut and guarded. He pulled his car to a stop and turned off the engine. “Let’s go-find out.”
He rose from the seat and slammed the door, not bothering to come over and let her out as he had done befo
re. She got out on her own and trailed behind him as he strode into the house. Sensing the wariness in him, she kept her distance, wondering what was wrong.
“Matt, is that you?” Mavis’s voice came from the sitting room. “Come and meet your cousin Gregory.”
Matt swore softly, shocking Janet with his vehemence. He threw her a quick, exasperated glance and said through gritted teeth, “Might as well get it over with,” and disappeared in the direction of the sitting room.
It took Janet a moment to remember that she was supposed to be Matt’s wife, and as such, should go with him to meet his cousin. She hurried in just in time to see Matt and Gregory, a large man with a heavy beard, shaking hands.
“Oh, Gregory,” Mavis said, smiling at the new arrival. “This is Matt’s wife, Vanessa.”
Janet froze. Every instinct inside screamed for her to say, “No, I’m sorry, you’ve been misinformed. My real name is Janet Cardona and I’m not married to Matt at all.”
Her glance flew from Mavis to Gregory to Matt, and as her hand went out to meet Gregory’s, she began to say it, despite the warning she read in Matt’s face.
“I—I’m sorry . . .”
But that was all she got out before Matt stepped in, reading her intention and interrupting her as he threw an arm around her shoulders.
“No need to be sorry, pet,” he said smoothly. “You’re not late at all.” He smiled easily at Gregory, his former irritation seemed to have vanished into thin air. “How long are you staying?”
Gregory didn’t smile back. “As long as it takes,” he said coldly.
And that was when Janet realized Gregory was not a friendly man, and that he was out to get Matt somehow. She glanced at Matt. Her protective instincts quickly overcame her honesty.
Mavis chattered on. “Gregory called this morning about some paperwork I need to get done, and when I told him about you, he didn’t waste a moment coming over to meet you for himself.” She smiled indulgently at her bearlike son.
“Come, my dears,” she continued, rolling her chair over next to the fireplace. “Let’s all sit down and have a nice chat. Gloria has put on coffee and is getting some goodies together.”
She seemed totally oblivious to the animosity brewing between her son and her nephew. The two of them sat stiffly across from each other on separate couches. Janet sank down beside Matt.
“You live in Santa Barbara, don’t you?” she asked pleasantly, her plan to tell the truth forgotten. “How do you like it there?”
Gregory barely wasted a glance on her. “Fine,” he said shortly, dismissing her. “Tell me, Matt,” he said belligerently to the man next to her. “How’s the oil business in Brazil these days?”
Matt shrugged. “About the same as the oil business everywhere—depressed.”
“I see.” His gaze flickered from Matt to his mother. “Thought you’d come up here and get yourself a little working capital, did you?”
Janet gasped. So that was it. Mavis’s son had heard about this long-lost nephew dropping in and he’d rushed over to make sure his mother was protected. She flushed, wishing she could feel honest indignation at such an accusation, but for all she knew, Gregory might be on to something.
And Matt didn’t seem a bit disturbed by the line his cousin was taking.
“Not at all.” He laughed, actually looking relieved at the question, Janet thought. What exactly had he expected?
“I’m doing fine all on my own,” Matt went on. “In fact, I’ve been investing in hotels lately. The business is a bit more stable than oil. And I’ve been lucky enough to make some good choices.”
“Oh, yeah?” Gregory hardly looked mollified, his small black eyes darting from one person to another. “So you really just came to see my mother?” He sounded skeptical, but perhaps more ready to be convinced.
Mavis laughed. “Of course, you old silly. You’re the one who’s always interested in money. Matt hasn’t ever said a word.”
Gregory sat back in his chair. “What do you know,” he muttered. But when he looked at Matt, he frowned again, and Janet could tell he wasn’t completely satisfied.
CHAPTER NINE:
Who Are You?
“The oil business may be depressed now,” Gregory was saying, “but you just wait. It’ll be back.” He shifted his position on the couch as though it were uncomfortable for him to sit for so long. “I’ve got a few investments in some small-scale mining operations, but I never have gotten into oil. Of course, I’m no geologist either, like you are. You know what you’re doing. I have to play it by ear.”
Matt nodded. “It does help to know something about geology,” he agreed.
“Yeah.” Gregory’s tiny eyes brightened. “Say, I used to collect rocks when I was in school. Gem-quality stuff. And my favorite was that green stone they find in Brazil.” He frowned. “What was the name of that? I can’t remember.”
“Emerald?” Matt guessed.
“No.” Gregory frowned harder, trying to remember. “It was in long, tube-like spears. It started with a t, I think.” He shook his head. “Gorgeous stuff.”
Janet looked at Matt, waiting for him to answer. Tourmaline, she told herself silently. She’d minored in geology herself. It’s tourmaline. Come on. Tell him.
But Matt didn’t say a word.
“Hey, what do you think it was?” Gregory urged. “You must know the name of the stuff. I mean, you even live in Brazil, don’t you? It’s going to drive me crazy now if I don’t think of it. It starts with a t. Tambourine or something ...”
Janet looked at Matt again. He was looking at her and there was something in his eyes . . . Why wasn’t he answering? She waited another moment, searching his face for a clue.
And then she knew what it was. He didn’t know the answer.
Waves of shock reverberated through her. He didn’t know the answer to a question so basic, any first-year geology student could have answered it with ease. He knew absolutely nothing about geology. He’d never worked in the oil business. And when the final truth came to her, it almost knocked her breath away. Why hadn’t she realized it sooner? How could she have been so blind to the clues all around her?
He wasn’t Matt Jessup!
“Vanessa, darling, are you ill?” Mavis’s voice penetrated the wave of nausea washing over her. Hardly functioning, Janet was able to shake her head.
“No,” she whispered, then managed a smile. “No, just a bit of dizzyness.”
“Too much sun,” Mavis pronounced flatly. “You shouldn’t have stayed out on the river so long.”
“No.” Janet’s voice was firmer now. “No, I probably shouldn’t have.” She looked at Matt. Who was he? Why was he here?
Everyone had been looking at her with concern, but now Gregory went back to his question. “Long and green. Sometimes it faded to a pink at one end. Real pretty stuff.”
“Tourmaline.” Was that croak really her voice? The moment the word was out of her mouth, she regretted it. Why should she help Matt lie any longer?
“Tourmaline,” Gregory agreed happily. “Yeah, that was it. Great stuff.”
They talked on, but Janet wasn’t listening. He’d lied to her—again! That was the only thought in her mind. She sat in a daze, trying to cope with this new piece of knowledge. But it was too awful. She felt cold inside. How could she ever believe anything he said?
Little by little, the room came back into focus. Gregory was talking. She forced herself to listen.
“We’ve got a little problem brewing right now down in the Los Angeles area,” he was saying. “A company I’ve got some interest in is trying to secure mining rights in the San Gabriels. Trouble is, the forest service is trying to claim the area might have fossils, and if it does, they want to declare it some kind of paleontology preservation site and bar us from operations.”
“The San Gabriels?” Janet smiled brightly. “Do you have any age-dating on the site?”
“Yeah.” He glanced her way, but it was obvious he didn’t
trust her. He wanted to talk to Matt. “They said it was something, pre-Columbian or . . .”
“Precambrian?” She kept up the smiling, even though it made her cheeks ache. “Then your problems are solved, aren’t they, darling?” She turned her gleaming white smile upon Matt.
“Oh, yes,” he said, nodding intelligently. “They sure are.”
“How so?” Gregory put the question straight to Matt.
Matt looked at Janet. She smiled. Let him work his own way out of this one.
“Well, I’ll tell you,” Matt said, leaning back and taking a long sip of his coffee. He looked at Janet again. Her smile was strained, but still glowing. “That’s one of those bureaucratic messes that can go either way. You might have to go for an environmental impact study to see. Now we once had a case down in Brazil where we had to wait four years before the government would move along a plan check to get a permit to drill ...”
“Yeah,” Gregory said impatiently, “but what about this Precambrian rock? What’s the deal there?”
Matt laughed. “Why, it’s so simple, I’m surprised you don’t know the answer yourself. In fact,” he continued with a wicked grin at Janet, “it’s so simple even Vanessa knows the answer. Don’t you, darling? Go ahead. Tell Gregory what it is.”
Her eyes shot daggers. “Oh, no, darling, you tell him.”
Gregory had lost all patience. “Somebody tell me and tell me now,” he demanded, getting quite red in the face.
Matt looked at Janet. His expression held a plea she couldn’t deny, no matter how much she wanted to.
“Oh, all right,” she said at last. “There’s no point in doing a paleontological study because there are no fossils in Precambrian rocks. Precambrian rocks were formed over 600 million years ago, before life appeared on this planet. So they can’t declare it an historic paleo site. There’s no history to preserve.”
“You’re kidding.” Gregory began to smile, thinking this over. “What do you know?”
