My father stopped and turned to look at me. “Delpha, before you say anything, I have to tell you something.”
“Yes?” I braced myself. Here was when he made up excuses. Here is where he tried to pretend that ditching my mom and me was normal and somehow okay.
He locked eyes with me. “That boy loves you.”
“What?” My hand flew to my chest in surprise. That was nothing like what I expected him to say.
“He loves you with everything he has, and you need to stop fighting it because you feel the same way. I saw it just now on the beach.”
He was right of course. I did need to stop fighting it, but that didn’t mean I would admit that to my father’s face. He owed me something. An apology, or at least an explanation, before I could.
“Why do you care?” I was sure my words came out harsh, and really I didn’t mean them that way exactly. But I was tired, and, surprised, and confused, and angry at myself for even humoring this man who’d deserted me.
“Because you’re my daughter. Just because I haven’t done a great job being your father doesn’t mean I don’t want the best for you.” He dug the toes of his boots into the damp sand.
“The best for me?” I laughed dryly. “Sure.”
“Yes. And that means happiness. That’s all I ever wanted for you. And your mother.”
“Did you know she left? She chose the ocean.” I left off the last two words. Over me. I assumed he could infer them without my needing to completely bare my soul that way.
“I know she left, but she didn’t choose the ocean.” He reached out a hand toward me, but he let it drop at the last second. “Not over you.”
“She did.” I steeled myself for whatever paltry excuse he would give. “I saw it with my own eyes.”
“I don’t doubt what you saw.” He gazed out at the ocean. The waves were calm now, giving no hint of the dangers that lurked beneath. “I believe you, and I know she went into that water and never came back. But she didn’t do it because she was choosing the ocean over you.”
“Then why? Why else would she have done it? Because of you?” Maybe those words were harsh, but they were true. “Because she never fully got over you leaving? You know she cried herself to sleep for weeks afterward? She was never the same after you left.”
He winced. “There will be time later for you to punish me for what I did, but I’m not the reason she went to the ocean.”
“Then why?” He didn’t want me to berate him? Fine. That wasn’t going to help anything in the long run, but he did owe me answers. I’d waited too long without them. Cad was right. I did need closure.
“She did it because she was trying to protect you.” He spoke so quietly that his words were almost lost in the wind.
“How would leaving me all alone protect me?”
“She knew they were coming for you… she thought she could appease them, but they wanted your magic. She didn’t have the same kind to offer.”
“How would you know? You weren’t even here.” I tried to keep the anger from my voice, but I failed spectacularly. I knew it was all over my face. My throat burned, and my heart pounded.
“Your anger is understandable, but it’s not going to help us find her.” He stayed miraculously calm. His gray eyes didn’t waver in their intensity. I searched his face again, this time trying to understand what drew my mom to him. Sure, he was handsome in his younger years, but looks alone couldn’t have been enough to pull her from the water.
“Find her? You really think she’s out there?” I tried to choke down the small inkling of hope developing deep inside me. “I couldn’t find her. I felt nothing of her.”
“I can’t be certain, but I know she wasn’t merely jumping to her death. That would have appeased no one. As I started to explain, she tried to give herself up in your place. Now who that was to, I don’t know.”
“So something different than the dark ones?”
“Not necessarily. It could have been a dark one that has hidden her deeper than you were looking.”
“I can’t go any deeper.” And I hated that. “I’m not pure enough Oceanid for the ocean to allow me.”
“Your uniqueness is your strength.” There was no humor in his words.
“Right.” I wasn’t going to let him try to placate me. “It makes me weak.”
“It’s your magic that’s going to be the ticket to finding her.”
“I had my magic when I went in last time.”
“But you didn’t use it.” He sighed. “There is so much I wish you knew.”
“Right now all I want to know is where Mom is.”
“You and me both.” He put his hands inside his pockets. “I wish I knew. I really do. But wishing isn’t going to get us anywhere, is it?”
“Do you know for sure she’s still around?” I couldn’t say the words alive. That was too close to asking if she was dead, and those words terrified me.
“You’re asking if she’s still among the living?”
I nodded.
“As I told you, I believe she is, but it is impossible to know for sure.”
“Why don’t you know? If you and Mom were so in love that she gave up her life in the sea for you, how are you not still connected?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do you feel that kind of connection with Cad?”
“Yes.” I’d never admitted that out loud before.
“That’s quite rare.”
“What about me isn’t rare?”
He chuckled. “Not much.”
“Don’t laugh at me.” I frowned. “Haven’t I been through enough already?”
“I’m not laughing at you, honey.”
“Don’t call me honey.”
He sighed. “You’re angry. I understand that.”
“You left. You left us and told me nothing. You never even came back to check on me.”
“Don’t you know how hard that was for me?” His eyes returned to the ocean. “To stay away while you grew up?”
“Hard on you?” I laughed without an ounce of humor. “Right.”
“It was. I always wondered. I always worried. But I left for you.”
“For me?” I put a hand to my chest. “Are you trying to blame me for your decision?”
“No.” He turned to me again. “Not at all. I don’t ever want you to blame yourself.”
“It’s hard to do much of anything else.” It wasn’t my mother’s fault. He loved her unconditionally. Almost obsessively. The only other answer was me.
“What did your mother tell you?” He took one step toward me.
“She told me nothing.” No matter how much I begged for answers, even resorting to tears, she just told me to wait for him to tell me. “Nothing. And that’s the problem.”
“She was trying to protect us both.”
“Protect us?” I took a seat in the sand. The anger mixed with my exhaustion was making a mess of me. “How could leaving me in the dark possibly protect me?”
“You don’t know much about sorcerers.” It was a statement not a question.
“No. I don’t. Because you left.” And nearly all the others had left, aside from Bridget and her family who hated me.
“And you never wanted to explore that side of yourself?” He took a seat beside me.
“No.” I shook my head. “Well, that’s not entirely true. I was afraid.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t understand it, and it reminded me of you.” I hung my head and stared down at the small particles of sand.
He put a hand on my back. “I’m sorry, Delpha. I really believed I was doing the right thing.”
“The right thing for who?” I shrugged off his hand.
“All of us. I didn’t know what was going to happen… I thought I might lose control. And I thought I might attract too much attention. Without me there, you and your mom could have a simpler life.”
“We always had a hole in our lives. A gaping hole where you were supposed to be.” An
d here I was laying it all out there. I was a mess, a complete and utter mess.
He said nothing at first, and a silence fell between us before he finally got some words out. “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you that enough, but I still believe I made the right decision given the information available to me.”
“Why did she do it?” Maybe I still needed to work out some issues with my father, but first I needed to find Mom.
“Hmm?”
“If you don’t think Mom willingly left me, then why did she do it? What was she protecting me from? The dark ones? Have they been waiting for my magic this whole time?”
“I don’t know. I wish I did.”
We were back to wishing. Wasn’t he the one who said that was pointless? “In other words, you’re only guessing.”
“He’s right you know.” Jackson walked over, standing in front of us, effectively blocking our view of the water. “She was trying to protect you.”
“And how would you know?” I’d never been close to Jackson, but his absence for most of my life hurt. Yet another relative who had left.
“Because I’m the one who told her she could.”
A rush of emotions swirled through me. They were so intense it was hard to process them, but I did. Now wasn’t the time to be weak. “You told her she could what?”
“I told her she could go in your place. It’s not something I’m proud of.”
“Not something you’re proud of?” I choked out.
I looked over at my father. His face was expressionless. How was he so calm?
My father must have noticed my gaping stare. “I already came close to killing him, Delpha. I probably would have except he’s key to us getting her back. He has information we need.”
“Then give us the information!” I jumped to my feet and strode toward Jackson. “Tell me everything. Now.”
A warm hand wrapped around my waist, and I smiled up at Cad. He’d picked the right time to come join me.
Once I turned back to Jackson the soft smile had faded. “Explain yourself.”
Jackson nodded. “I’m trying to. I had an opportunity. I didn’t think it would matter. She’s wanted to go back to the ocean anyway. I never imagined things would turn out the way they did.”
“The way they did?” I pushed him. He stepped back into the water. “You mean me spending my teen years alone?”
“I thought it would be okay. And I thought it would help. I thought they’d get bored and leave you alone.”
“Who? The dark one?” My heart rate accelerated.
“The dark ones plural.” Jackson stepped into the conversation.
“So the one I killed…” Cad trailed off. “There’s more?”
“You didn’t kill it, Cad.” Vicky joined our mini party by the water’s edge. “You defeated it, but it will eventually reform.”
“Wonderful.” Cad and I said in unison. We turned to smile at one another.
“But it won’t be able to get to Delpha again if we can make the water’s inhabitable to their kind.”
“Until then I guess I won’t be taking a dip in the ocean.” I made an attempt at a joke for some unknown reason.
“Taking a dip in the ocean is far different from what you did.” Vicky frowned. “You know that.”
“I know.” And I didn’t regret it… of course if something had happened to Cad I would have, but I had to search for my mother. She’d only gotten into her situation out of her love for me.
“How do we get her back? Nothing else really matters, so let’s focus on that.”
“In theory if we make the waters uninhabitable to them they’ll be forced to release her before they reform somewhere else.” There was a twinkle in Vicky’s eyes. “Which is why I suggest we focus on that. It’s a win-win- situation for all of us.”
“And how can I do that?” I would take care of this. I wasn’t going to let anyone else put themselves at risk.
“It’s not something you can do alone.” Vicky smiled.
“Why are you smiling?” Was I missing something?
“It’s going to take two magical beings with a true soul connection.” She gave me a knowing look.
“Are you saying if Delpha and I work together we can pull this off?” Cad’s arm tightened around my waist.
Vicky rested her chin in her hand. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, but don’t be mistaken. Nothing about this is going to be easy.”
“When has anything for us been easy?” Cad winked.
“You do make a very valid point there.” Vicky smiled, and a small inkling of hope inside me surged.
Sixteen
Cad
There was so much happening I could barely keep up. What I did understand above all else is that I needed Delpha to know exactly how I felt. All of it. I’d never held back on expressing my feelings for her—but that didn’t mean I told her everything. And considering what I’d just gone through to save her, opening up completely only made sense. Yet somehow I was more afraid of sharing these feelings than I was about facing a dark one. There was something strange about that.
I needed to talk to her alone. This was a conversation between just the two of us. I didn’t want our friends, and especially not her father, around. I wanted her to be free to respond in the way she wanted to, even if I had a very vested interested in her answering one particular way.
Despite my fear, I was hopeful. The smile she’d given me after Vicky mentioned a soul deep connection—that was the real Delpha. She knew we had that kind of connection, and surely she understood how rare it was and how important it was for us to avoid turning our backs on it.
I waited until Pax led everyone else over to the shop before addressing her. Delpha was staring out at the water. She had her arms wrapped around her chest, but I sensed it wasn’t from the cold. It was from a deeper coldness that transcended the physical.
“If you’d rather talk somewhere else, I understand.” I wanted her to be comfortable. I didn’t want anything interfering with what I had to say.
“I’m fine if you are.” She turned toward me. “You haven’t had the best day with the ocean either.”
“Very true, but it’s still different.” My mother was half-way across the world on a trip, not trapped in the depths of the ocean.
“Thank you.” She dropped one arm to the side.
“For what I did earlier?” I studied her, making sure I didn’t miss a single tell. “You would have done the same thing.”
“Yes, I would have.” There was nothing boastful in her statement. She was just saying it like it was.
“Because you care about me?” Maybe that was the best way to ease into the conversation I wanted to have. I didn’t want to put her on the spot, but I needed to know how she viewed things.
“Because I love you.” Her eyes locked on mine.
I smiled. I’d been waiting years to hear her say those words again. “I love you, too.”
“I know. And I’ve been an idiot.” She stepped into the water, her sundress blew in the breeze.
“No.” I joined her. “You haven’t been an idiot.”
“I have.” She turned to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve let fear get in the way of what we have. I’ve done everything to push you away while knowing you wouldn’t really go away. Even the thought that you would… well, I know you’ve heard the stories already.”
“If it makes you feel any better I’d have done worse.”
“No you wouldn’t.” She shook her head. “You’re so calm about everything.”
“Yeah, you haven’t been by our house lately.” I’d always call it ours even if she insisted on living in a separate apartment for a while.
“What do you mean?” She raised an eyebrow.
I hoped I wasn’t about to scare her off. “I punched a hole in the shower wall yesterday.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “Well, that’s not quite the same as nearly flooding a beloved town building and almost killing someone.”
“I want us too. I’m sorry. I really am. I hope one day I can make this up to you. You deserve so much better.” She closed her eyes.
“No more of that. I don’t want to hear you say you’re sorry. I only want to know you’re really in this now. That you are going to give us a real try, and you aren’t going to run away the second things get intense.”
“I’m done running.” She opened her eyes. “And maybe we can work through this anger stuff together.”
“Working on anything together works for me. I’m not going to sit here and say I’m done chasing you, because I’m not. I’d chase you to the moon and back, but I don’t want to. I want you with me because you want to be with me.”
“I want to be with you.” She stretched up on her toes and wrapped her arms around my neck.
My lips crushed into hers, accepting everything she wanted to give. I deepened the kiss, letting her taste flood over me. Losing myself completely as even the sound of the waves faded out. There was only her.
It was with reluctance that I finally broke the kiss.
She rested her head on my chest. “Do you remember our first kiss?”
“Of course. How could I ever forget even a second of it?” I remembered everything about that night. I remembered the purple streak in her hair. The way her eyes sparkled. The caramel apple we shared, and the sweetness that still lingered from it when we kissed. I’d expected fireworks but had instead gotten a full on explosion. Even at fourteen I’d known I’d never be the same again after that. There was no one else in the world for me.
“I replay it a lot, and I wonder what would have happened had my mother not disappeared.” She pressed her body against mine.
I wrapped her up in my arms. “Yeah, me too.”
[Willow Harbor 06.0] Warlock's Embrace Page 12
