My hands snaked around his warm neck, pulling him closer against me until we were pressed together.
“Wait, Nessa,” he said, pulling back.
I followed him, desperate for it not to be over.
“Wait,” he said again, his hands on my shoulders holding me back. “I...Damn. I didn’t mean to do that.” He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling as he breathed hard.
“What’s happening?” I asked, my brain fuzzy from the kissing. Then I realized: kissing. We shouldn’t be kissing. But oh, God, the kissing.
He exhaled and his eyes fluttered open. He pulled his head back to look down at me. “I’m sorry. That was so not what I brought you here for.”
“No?” I asked, unable to hide my disappointment.
“No,” he said. “I wanted to thank you. For the concert, for my parents—I know it was you who orchestrated everything.”
I nodded. “You’re welcome.”
“But...why?”
I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”
“Why did you go through all the trouble?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
The way he stared at me told me that no, he wasn’t kidding.
“We’re friends,” I explained, almost insulted that he didn’t get it. “You said you wanted to play with your grandfather. I...well, obviously I couldn’t make that happen, but maybe the next best thing?”
He nodded, his eyes so intense on mine that I had to look down.
“But my parents?”
“I wanted to show them how good you are when you were too chicken to.”
“Chicken?”
I looked up at him into his narrowed eyes. “You were throwing an opportunity away.”
He crossed his arms. “You did all this just to keep me in the band?”
“Not all of it. The Legion Thunder thing I did for you. Even if you didn’t stay, I wanted you to have that.”
His lip quivered for a second before he dropped his chin to his chest.
“Thank you,” he said and then, “You’re right, though, I was too chicken to show them.”
He took a breath and looked away from me. “But I’m glad they came. They’re proud of me.”
“Of course they are,” I said, incredulous. “You’re a freaking rock star.”
He snorted and then looked back at me. “Because of you.”
“No,” I said. “Because of you. I just shined a light on you, that’s all.”
“Well, if it wasn’t for you, none of it would have happened, so will you let me thank you?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure, buy me a Hallmark card or something.”
He smiled and then as we looked at each other for a long moment, one that should have been weird, but for some reason wasn’t, he worked his jaw and then said, “Am I crazy or is there something real between us? I mean, I know I’ve been accused of falling too hard, too quickly, so maybe I’m not the best judge, but this feels...”
“Different,” I finished for him.
“More,” he added.
I nodded. Because it was different, more, like nothing I’d experienced before. Kissing Andy had been fun and I’d gotten caught up in it, but this, this felt...epic, intoxicating.
Just to be sure, I grabbed his head and pulled him down again, losing myself in him the second our lips touched. His hands came to my hips, tugging me against him until I began to have real concerns about my knees buckling. Kissing Andy had been nice, but this, this was what kissing was really supposed to feel like.
“Nessa,” he groaned against my mouth.
“Okay,” I said, as I pulled back, breathless. “Yeah. Definitely different.”
He nodded.
“For you, too, right? This isn’t you being a sap, getting all hearts and flowers?”
He leaned in again, brushing his lips over mine, his tongue lingering on my mouth. “Yes. No flowers, but maybe hearts. This is...wow. God, Nessa.”
“Wait,” I said, pressing a palm against his chest, feeling the thumping of his racing heart. “We can’t do this.”
“You’re right,” he said, pushing his hand through is hair as he glanced toward the door. “Someone’s going to come looking for us.”
“No, I mean we can’t be together,” I said, feeling like I was having déjà vu, except this time with him, it felt a lot harder to get the words out.
His hand lifted to my face, his palm warm on my cheek. “Why? I thought...”
“You’re in the band. I can’t...”
He paused for a long moment before he said, “I’m not in the band,” he said. “Not after tonight.”
I stepped back, needing to get out of his bubble or I wouldn’t be able to think straight. “Is that what you brought me down here for? To tell me you were still planning to leave the band?”
“No, I was...” he stalled out and I could see the conflict on his face because he knew where I stood. Where my father stood and how I would never betray him by having a secret relationship with one of the guys.
“Don’t you dare,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare tell me you were going to stay and now because of this, because of me, you’re not going to.”
“Nessa,” he said and blew out a breath, stepping toward me, putting both hands on my face so I had no choice but to look up at him. His eyes were soft, pleading. “This makes it different. I think I lo—”
“No!” I said, closing my eyes. “Don’t. Please don’t say it. You can’t leave the band. You are too damn good. And you can’t do it because of me. I won’t let you.” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my hardest to fight the tears.
“Nessa,” he breathed as his hands fell away from my cheeks. I opened my eyes, wishing I hadn’t when I saw his anguish.
“You barely know me,” I said. “You told me yourself you fall too easily.”
He looked at me sideways. “So now you’re telling me that after all this, we’re strangers? That you didn’t feel something in that kiss?”
I couldn’t deny it, but... “I won’t be the reason you quit the band.”
“Then be the reason I stay,” he said.
“What does that even mean?”
He took a breath. “We’ll wait,” he said.
“I tried that with Andy, it didn’t work,” I said, feeling weird about bringing up that relationship now. Especially when it felt like a schoolyard crush compared to how I was feeling about Dave. How I now realized we’d been circling each other since I’d first approached him back at Rosewood. How much he meant to me and what I’d been willing to do to help make his dream come true.
“I can wait,” he said. “I can keep my distance. God, I mean, I’ve been doing it since I first realized I was in love with you, Vanessa.”
I swallowed as I stared at him, processing what he’d just said.
He laughed. “Based on the look on your face, I’m guessing this is a surprise to you?”
“Maybe a little,” I squeaked. “Since when?”
He shrugged, but a smile teased at his mouth.
“When?” I repeated.
He glanced at me for a second before he dropped his eyes. “That night in the limo when I told you about my grandfather. The way you were...I don’t know, you seemed to really understand...I guess I knew then. Plus you’d been nagging me so long to join the band, it was obvious you were into me.”
He looked up at me then, the sheepish grin and the crinkled-up eyes so freaking adorable, I nearly launched myself at him. Somehow, I managed to play it cool. “Whatever, boy band, stop being so full of yourself.”
That earned me another devastating smirk. “You know, we could have saved a lot of time if you hadn’t kept giving me the whole, ‘I don’t date musicians’ song and dance.”
I cringed, thinking about how he’d caught Andy and me at the b
each house after I’d been so insistent that I would never date a musician. Not my finest moment.
“You were never really into him, were you?”
I snorted. “Jealous much?”
“Not at all,” he said, but he was nodding.
I grinned at him, my heart doing a little flutter. “To be honest, I wasn’t. I don’t know, I got caught up in it, I guess.”
He looked concerned.
“It’s not like that with you,” I said. “It’s different. We’re friends, right? That’s where the best relationships start.”
His eyes softened and he nodded.
“But seriously, you’re going to stay with the band, right?”
“Want to hear something funny?” he asked.
“Desperately,” I said.
“My mother said after she saw me tonight, she said I had to stay on or she’d kick my ass. She was actually mad that I’d kept it all from her and had turned Tony down.”
“Seriously?” I said, unable to hide my surprise. I’d hoped she’d be resigned to him staying on after she saw how talented he was, but I didn’t expect her to be pushing for it. I wondered what she would have thought if she ever found out he’d just been willing to throw it away for me—though we weren’t going there because I would never have let that happen, no matter how flattering it might be.
He nodded. “She felt bad. I guess she did hold me back in a way. I thought I didn’t want it until I first signed on, but...”
“She saw tonight that it’s exactly what you’re meant to be doing,” I said. “You held yourself back because of her and she realized keeping you ‘safe’ was keeping you from your dreams.”
He sighed, suddenly losing his smile. “You know, my grandfather is rolling in his grave,” he said. “He never wanted this for me.”
I stepped toward him, my hand going to his cheek, feeling the slight bristle of stubble against my palm as my thumb traced his cheekbone. “Your grandfather is proud. And he’s relieved that you’re doing what you should be doing and are being smart about it. You’re going to have the career he wished he’d had. The one that will enable you to realize your dreams but won’t ruin your life and hurt those who mean the most to you. I’m sure that’s exactly what he’d want for you.” It’s what I want for you, I wanted to say, but didn’t. It felt too soon for that kind of confession, even though here we were on the cusp of something big happening between us.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said, his forehead coming to rest against mine again.
“Maybe?” I said.
“Definitely,” he corrected.
“So now what happens?” I asked as his lips got dangerously close to mine.
“I’m going to kiss you,” he said. “And I’ll make it a good one. One that has to last us until we can be together, because I was serious that I will wait. I have a ton of respect for both you and your dad—I’m not going to ruin things and I don’t want you to ever wonder if you were just one of my serial crushes. It’ll be difficult, but you’re worth it.”
I had to swallow before I could say, “You should put stuff like that in songs, boy band.”
“I plan to. I promise I’ll keep your name out of them, But you’ll know.”
Which of course made me like him a million times more and was just going to make it that much harder for me to keep my distance from him.
“So,” I said. “One for the road?”
“One for the road. And then we’ll put that ginormous elephant back in the cupboard. For now,” he said, his breath tickling my mouth right before he kissed me one last time.
Epilogue
A little while later, after we discussed logistics, I sent Dave back to the party while I went to the bathroom to check my face and use the facilities. I was glad I did, since anyone with eyes would have known with one glance at my messed-up hair, blotchy face, and swollen lips, that I’d just been kissed senseless. And of course, we wanted exactly zero people to know what had happened between us.
I felt a little guilty about keeping secrets from both my father and best friend, but until Sandy got over Dave and I was no longer on the payroll, Dave and I were friends, no more. I just hoped we’d be able to keep our feelings hidden while still acting like we always had in front of everyone.
When I returned to the meeting room, I slipped in, noticing Dave deep in conversation with Eddie and Pete in the corner. They were looking serious and I figured they were discussing music or something about the biz. I deliberately turned my eyes away from them, sweeping the room, but not finding Sandy or Ted. I snorted, figuring her night had worked out exactly as she’d planned.
I pulled out my phone to text her as I made my way over to the food table to grab a snack.
Don’t forget, we roll out at 1.
I wasn’t surprised I didn’t get a response.
Thankfully, Sandy made it back to the bus with plenty of time to spare. I was going to have to wait to get the details of what I was sure was a rock star hookup with Ted, the cowboy guitarist, though—our bus had a lot of ears on it. And while there was no rule against her hooking up with members of a different band, being discreet was never a bad thing.
Dad and Kiki were in the office at the back, going over some things, but almost everyone was in the front of the bus, winding down after the events of the day. We’d only been on the road for about twenty minutes, but I knew that one by one, everyone would trickle to the back of the bus, get ready for bed, and then climb into their bunks. Until then, the guys were playing video games on the big screen.
It had been a long day and after the stress of my secret plan, I was mentally and physically exhausted and it felt like a struggle just to work up the energy to get ready for bed. Sandy and I were sitting at the table in the middle of the bus. She had her earphones on as she cut some of her concert footage while I watched, hoping to see the part where Dave had performed his grandfather’s song. I wanted to see it the way the audience had, rather than from my limited vantage point in the wings.
Suddenly, there was a body standing next to me that hadn’t come from the front of the bus.
I looked up to see Max standing there, his phone in his hand, a scowl on his face that seemed directed at Sandy. Uh oh. I nudged her with my elbow to get her attention. She pulled off her earphones and looked up at Max.
“What?” she said, her voice shorter than normal, even when speaking to him.
“This your idea of revenge?” he asked, his tone quiet, but just as clipped as hers had been.
“What?”
I looked between them. Something had obviously happened and I wanted to know what it was, but in that moment, I needed to get out from between them. But escape was impossible; Max was standing in the way of me sliding off the bench.
He thrust his phone toward Sandy. She (and I) looked from his face down to the screen to see an Instagram post that was a photo of him.
The caption was: Loved seeing my bae while in Portland today. Love you, L xxx Max. #Portland #Wiretap #truluv #bae
“If you’re going to get upset about obsessed fans posting garbage about you, you’re in the wrong business,” I said, actually surprised that he was being so sensitive.
He looked at me, his eyes wide. “This isn’t some crazed fan’s post about me. This came from MY account. As though I posted this.”
I gasped, glancing over at Sandy. Whatever it was that Max was referring to that might have warranted some sort of revenge, I couldn’t imagine Sandy would have taken over Max’s account and posted something like this.
Her wide-eyed look told me she wasn’t behind it and while I wasn’t surprised, I was relieved. Max did know how to push her buttons, after all. “I didn’t do that,” she said.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Oh really? Well who did?”
“Max,” I said, putting a hand on his arm. “You obviously got hacked.”
He looked d
own at me and I watched as the truth seeped in and he nodded and sighed.
“I can’t believe you thought I would do that,” Sandy said indignantly. “Let me out, Nessa,” she said, pressing against my upper arm with her palm. “I need some air.”
I wasn’t about to point out there was no leaving the bus while it was going down the road at a fair clip, but moved out of her way.
“I’m sorry,” Max said, not sounding very sorry. “But after what happe—”
Sandy silenced him with a stare as she leaned in. “Shut up. I don’t care what you think of me, but get this straight. I would never jeopardize anything to do with this band, so get it out of your head that I would sabotage you for my own reasons. I’m not that petty, no matter how much of a jerk you are.”
She muttered a few choice names for Max before she snatched the phone from his hand and marched to the back of the bus.
I craned my neck to watch her sit down across from my dad and show him the phone, doing the responsible thing and telling him about the hack.
I sighed as I stood up, about to follow her when I noticed Max still standing there, watching. “Not cool,” I said to him.
His glare slid to me.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what happened, what you did to her, but she’s right; she’d never do something like that. You owe her an apology. A real one.”
He stuffed his fists into the front pockets of his jeans before he nodded and without another word, climbed into his bunk. I turned to look toward the front of the bus and wasn’t surprised to see the rest of the guys were either looking at me, or past me toward the bunks where Max had just disappeared.
I rolled my eyes at them. “Nothing to see here, go back to your games. But you should all change your passwords on your social media accounts right now. Make sure they’re really strong ones.”
They all nodded and I watched as phones came out of pockets, thinking about how much I really, really hated social media.
The Rosewoods Rock & Roll Box Set Page 43
