by Rebecca Shea
I take a deep breath, willing myself to calm the fuck down before I plant a fist through his face. I lean in closely. "She's done with you, Teddy." I pat his chest, hard enough for him to take what I'm saying as a warning. "You heard her. This is the last time I will ask you leave before I make you leave ."
He blows a huff of air through his lips and leans around me to look at Frankie .
"So this is how this is going to go, huh?" His face is pure hatred, narrowed eyes and pursed lips. "You're just going to give up a career you worked so hard for, one that I helped you build, for this piece of shit ex-boyfriend who owns a ‘bar and grill’, " he says with air quotes. "You're just going to act like the little whore you are and jump back into bed with this nobody and make another baby with him, all while living happily ever after in Crescent Ridge ?"
I feel Frankie's fingers digging into my back like she’s holding on for dear life, and Faith reaches across the table faster than I've ever seen her, picking up Frankie's drink and throwing it in Ted's face .
Vodka tonic is dripping from his chin as he lets out a low chuckle. It's then that what he said registers with me. The entire restaurant grows quiet as the remaining customers turn their attention toward us .
"What do you mean make another baby?" I turn and look at Frankie as my stomach flips and my mind searches for understanding .
His head falls back with laughter as he wipes his face with his sleeve. "Oh, this is so fucking good." He laughs harder. "Frances. You didn't tell him about the baby?” He clicks his tongue in disapproval. I have never wanted to punch someone so fucking bad .
I look over my shoulder at Frankie, whose entire body is shaking. Tears are falling in a steady stream down her face. Carter is holding back a wild Faith, who is trying to get out of his grasp .
"You fucking piece of shit!" Faith screams at Ted as she becomes more erratic. "I will fucking kill you ."
His lips twist into an evil grin and he laughs at Faith before turning his attention back to Frankie. "Frances, last chance. Come home with me." He holds out his hand as if he's reaching for her. "Your home is with me, in Los Angeles. Leave this shitty town and everyone in it in your past—where it belongs." He looks at me and smirks .
Confusion and understanding simultaneously smack me just as something inside me snaps. I don't even feel my fist leave my side, let alone connect with Ted's face, however a single punch sends him to the floor. Blood spurts from his nose as I shake my hand once before actually thinking about hitting him this time. I lean over his cowering figure and punch him again, this time my fist connecting with his jaw. Every ounce of hurt and anger I've pent up for ten years rises from within and I swing again. Out of the corner of my eye, I barely register Carter releasing Faith and running to me as Faith runs to Frankie .
I can hear Frankie’s sobs as I stand over a bleeding Ted, deciding if he's worth a fourth blow. But my anger is bubbling over, and I know if I hit him again, I'll kill him. Because I won’t stop. I'll finish this motherfucker right here on the floor of my restaurant .
Carter grabs my arm and pulls me back. "Let it go, man. Get Frankie out of here and go home ."
I shake my head and stare at the piece of garbage groaning on my floor. Clenching my fists, I force myself to take a step back .
My lungs feel like they're collapsing as I struggle to breathe. "Is it true?" I ask Frankie, my voice hoarse .
Faith has her enveloped in her arms as both of them cry, their arms wrapped around each other protectively .
"Tell me the truth, Frankie.” My voice breaks as I run a hand over my face. “We promised no lies ."
With a whimper, she nods, and my heart fucking explodes. My mind is in a million places as I look around. Justin, the bartender is ushering the last customers out the door as quickly as he can, and Carter stands waiting for me to make my next move so he can intervene. He's always been the smart one .
We stare at each other for a moment, me breathing heavily as the rage builds again. How the fuck did Ted know and I never did? How could she have kept a secret so big ?
Carter contemplates my next move and shakes his head at me .
"Make sure they get home safely," I finally grind out, nodding toward Faith and Frankie as I step over Ted. "And get the fuck out of my restaurant." For my own satisfaction, I reel my foot back and kick him in the ribs on my way out .
Fuck them all .
* * *
W ith a closed fist, I beat the steering wheel as I drive around town trying to burn off some of my anger. I'm not ready to face Frankie yet. My cell phone has been ringing non-stop for the last half hour and I finally shut the fucker off, tossing it on the passenger seat .
Normally, I'd end up at the fault line with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. But tonight I find myself on the opposite side of town, in another familiar place .
My Jeep is crawling down the narrow paved road and I kill the engine as I roll to a stop. Heartache overtakes me as my feet carry me across the neatly trimmed grass and I fall to my knees. I gasp for air as I look at the etched stone .
"God, I need your advice, Pops." And the dam of emotions breaks free as I scream at the top of my lungs .
Twenty-Two
"W here the fuck is he, Carter?" I slap the center console of his beat up pickup truck .
He throws his hand up. "If I fucking knew that, I'd tell you; he's not answering his phone—so get off my nuts, Frankie ."
I need to talk to Cole, now. I bounce my knee as Carter drives me around town, looking for any signs of Cole or his Jeep. "He's probably at the fault line," Carter says, making a sharp U-turn .
"He's not,” I cry out, feeling my desperation clawing at me. I’m so worried about him. “His jeep would either be at home or parked by the entrance to the trail ."
Carter sighs deeply because he knows I'm right, but mostly because he knows he's going to be driving my ass around until we find Cole. Suddenly swerving, Carter pulls over to the side of the road as he throws his truck in park .
"I don't know, Frankie. Maybe he doesn't want to be found," he snaps at me. "That was some pretty fucked up news your fiancé fucking threw at Cole tonight." He glares at me .
I swallow hard. "He's not my fiancé, and it wasn't his news to share." I inhale a ragged breath. "He did that to hurt me. He doesn't want me back. He wants to make me suffer, and if hurting Cole is a means to that end, Ted will do it. He's a vindictive asshole." I turn and look out the passenger window as I feel the tears burning in the back of my eyes .
Carter taps the steering wheel impatiently with his thumbs. "It's really none of my business, Frankie. But were you ever going to tell him ?"
I can't look at Carter as I feel the tears threaten to spill from my eyes, so I just simply nod in response. My fingers are twisted together in a ball on my lap and I choke back a sob .
Carter wraps his hand over mine, giving me a gentle squeeze. "Give him time, Frankie. His world was just turned upside down ."
"Kind of like mine was ten years ago when I came home to tell my boyfriend I was pregnant and found him kissing a pregnant Whitney Carson on his front porch ?"
Carter stares straight ahead out and purses his lips. "Two wrongs don't make a right, Frankie. You should’ve told him ."
"I was going to, it's just that everything with us was happening so fast, and this was big…I needed to find the right time ."
"Not that I'm Dr. Phil or anything, but the right time would’ve been when he was in Los Angeles, pining for you ."
I get ready to say something and then snap my mouth shut, because motherfucking Carter Richardson is once again the goddamn voice of reason .
"If we find him, Frankie, what’re you going to do ?"
;
I finally have the courage to look at Carter, not even embarrassed that I'm a snotty mess again. My voice breaks, "Tell him the truth." I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and Carter hands me a napkin from the pocket in the side panel of his door to wipe my nose. "What he chooses to do with that truth is up to him ."
"You gonna run again?" he asks softly .
Once upon a time, Carter's directness used to be annoying. Now it's welcome .
I shake my head as I wipe my nose. My voice is barely above a whisper. "Nah, I'm done running ."
He offers me a tight smile. "Good." He reaches for the gearshift and throws the car in drive before making another U-turn and heading back in the direction we just came from .
"Where are you going?" I ask as Carter presses the gas pedal on his old truck and we speed up, the back wheels spinning for a moment on the loose gravel .
He turns to look at me with a mischievous look on his face. "Taking you to Cole ."
* * *
C arter kills the lights on the pickup truck as we pull through the main entrance of Sacred Heart Cemetery. His truck is louder than a bulldozer, so I'm sure if Cole is here, he is acutely aware of our presence .
As we round the corner, I see Cole's Jeep parked alongside the narrow, paved road. Carter rolls up next to the Jeep and cuts the engine. I rub the palms of my hands on my thighs as I nervously look out the window for Cole. Carter's long arm reaches past me as I see exactly where he is pointing. Cole is sitting at the far end of a row of headstones, his back pressed against the last one .
"His dad," Carter says quietly. I swallow hard and nod in understanding. Reaching for the door handle, Carter's hand grips my arm firmly. "Be honest with him, Frankie. If he's here, he's hurting. Don't bullshit him." His large hand releases me and the truck door springs open .
The heels of my shoes poke at the firm ground as I walk briskly toward Cole. The air has turned cooler and with each ragged exhale I can see my breath in the air. As I approach, I see him slumped over, his arms resting on his propped up knees, his head fallen forward just as I found him in the hallway of the hotel in Los Angeles when he came back for me .
Now I'm coming for him .
"Cole," I say his name softly, even though I know he knows I'm here .
He doesn't move, but I see his hand flinch. I sit down next to him. My butt hits the cold ground and I tuck my legs under me. I'm careful to give him space, but I want nothing more than to reach out and wrap my arms around him .
We sit in silence for a few minutes before I finally gather the nerve to start my explanation. "I'm going to start from the beginning. I'm sure you'll have a million questions…questions you rightfully deserve the answers to. I'll tell you everything and I'll be one hundred percent honest with you, but please let me tell you everything before you lash out at me. Let me finish, please." I beg this of him, just as he begged this of me when he explained his reasons for what he did to us ten years ago .
"A week and a half before I came home and found you with Whitney on your front porch, I found out I was pregnant." I swallow hard, fighting back my tears as I remember how hurt and alone I felt, coming home pregnant and finding him and Whitney together. "I woke up one morning feeling like I had the flu, only it lasted twenty-four hours a day and for four days. At first, I thought it was because I was pulling such long nights studying and preparing for finals, but after a few days, I knew it had to be more ."
I rub my arms, fighting back the chill in the air. "Ashley finally insisted I take a pregnancy test, because I had been home to visit you just over four weeks prior to all of my symptoms starting. It was our last time together…" My voice trails off .
Clearing my throat, I forge on. "The test was positive…and, God, Cole, I was such a mix of emotions. Initially I was scared. So scared…Then I was excited. We always used to talk about having kids and getting married, and then I got nervous. We were so young, so ignorant to the real world and all of its realities. I knew I wanted to finish my undergraduate degree and go to law school, and I didn't know what all of this meant for us ." My fingers pick at the grass on either side of my legs while Cole remains still next to me .
"I decided to speak to my professors to see if I could finish my finals early so that I could get home to you as soon as possible. This wasn't a conversation to have over the phone ."
Cole suddenly sits up straight, lifting his head, but he looks straight ahead and not at me .
I swallow hard and continue. "So I finished and rushed home to tell you. I was so nervous, Cole…but I always remember what you told me, that there wasn't anything you and I couldn't conquer together.” I pause. “So when I pulled up that night and I saw you and Whitney, I broke. I'd heard the rumors floating around about you…and Mama told me to ignore them, but when Whitney ran across the street and I saw her swollen stomach…a little piece of me died ."
He inhales sharply and I continue. "I called Ashley that night and she asked me to spend the summer in Malibu with her and her family. She promised to help me with whatever I decided to do with the baby." I pause, taking a deep breath and to get my emotions under control again .
I hear Cole clear his throat and it startles me. "Did you have an abortion?" His head finally turns and he looks directly at me, his blue eyes rimmed with red, his cheeks damp from tears, and a world of hurt etched across his face .
I shake my head. "No. I didn't ."
His shoulders fall slightly, in partial relief .
"I thought about it, I'm not going to lie," I admit. "So that next morning I drove to Malibu, not sure what I was going to do with my life. I had a million decisions to make. Would I keep the baby? Have an abortion? Give it up for adoption? And then I had to think about the consequences of each of those decisions. If I kept the baby, I'd have to quit school, or at least not go full-time. I'd possibly lose my scholarship and I couldn't afford USC on my own. There were so many decisions I had to make, alone , Cole ."
I'm not blaming him, but he is also not free of the hurt he caused me. He put into motion a series of events that led me to making the decision I had to. I was an asshole for not telling him, but almost eleven years ago, I was a hurt kid whose world had just been shattered .
"I was a scared kid who moved in with her college roommate that summer. Ashley's parents were nothing short of saints. I had nothing. Literally. I had no job, a shitty, unreliable car, and no money. They helped me with everything. They made sure I had the best doctor, they fed and clothed me, and supported me with whatever decision I made. They cancelled their summer European vacation to make sure that I was taken care of. I was Ashley's best friend and they treated me like a daughter." I will never be able to repay them for the kindness they showed me. I was nothing more than Ashley's best friend and roommate and their unwavering support changed my life .
I take a deep breath and choke back another wave of emotions. "One night, I was sitting on their patio and Joe and Anne approached me with an offer ."
Cole shifts and slides his legs out as he listens to me .
"When Anne had Ashley, she had a terrible pregnancy. They had to do an emergency hysterectomy and she was never able to have more children. For years they jumped through hoops trying to do a domestic adoption and nothing ever panned out for them. They spent thousands on attorneys and with agencies praying for another child. A year prior to all of this, they finally began the process of trying for an international adoption. Part of their summer vacation was going to be spent touring international orphanages. They made a proposal and I accepted it ."
I see a single tear fall down Cole's cheek and I feel my chin begin to tremble as I see how this is affecting him. "Anne and Joe asked to adopt our baby. They'd cover my medical expenses and they gave me money for law s
chool ."
"You sold our baby?" Cole snaps .
I gasp. "It wasn't a sale, Cole. Joe hired an attorney for me, to make sure that I understood my rights, that I was protected, and what birth mothers are entitled to…such as medical care, compensation for expenses, etc ."
His face twists with anger. "What the fuck are birth fathers entitled to? Sounds like a fucking sale to me ."
My temper flares. "It wasn't a goddamn sale, Cole. They also offered me an open adoption. Meaning at any time, they'd let me see our baby. They promised me they'd be honest with the baby about the adoption — "
"It was all about you, wasn't it, Frankie?" he says bitterly, his eyes full of disgust. "Just stop talking. I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach." His lips curl in hatred. I slide back further away from him as he tips his head back and inhales deep breaths .
"I'm not done," I tell him, doing my best to stay strong. He has no idea what it’s been like living with this for all these years .
"I can't hear any more of this." He pushes himself up and stands over me. His large form is intimidating and daunting. Hurt has been replaced by anger on his face and he clenches his fists. "I don't even know who you are. The Frankie I fell in love with would’ve never done what you did." He steps over my legs and walks toward his Jeep .
Anger and hurt course through me and I snap back at him, "And the Cole I fell in love with would’ve never set into motion the lie that made me do that." At that, he suddenly stops but doesn't turn around. "I'm not running this time, Cole. I'm done running. You don't have to forgive me, but at least have the courtesy to hear me out ."
