Mia thought for a moment then asked, “About that reminder, the reinforcement. Could it be a coin? A dime maybe?”
Mother Tallis nodded, “Yes, exactly. Each time you come across whatever it is they use for you, it would be a reinforcement of the programming, refreshing the control. Techniques have changed now. I’ve heard they use drugs to gain entry your mind. Also heard they’ve begun using microchip implants to control a person’s mind. But the result is the same whatever the technique — say the command word, and the person who’s been put under control will do whatever they are told, even things contrary to their conscience.”
Frowning, Mia covered her mouth with her hand and then said, “I had no idea that sort of thing could be done to a person — forced to act against your will and your conscience! But what you’re describing would certainly explain many of the things that happened to me. In the hallway, before I went into the tank, I saw Chase open his mouth to say something — but I never heard a sound. Just blacked out. Next thing I knew, I was in the tank, my clothes and shoes missing, wearing a body suit that would be difficult for — someone who was cooperating to put on. Let alone not cooperating.” She paused, then said, “Could this special MK hypnotism have been done to me sometime? Just like with you? How would you —. How would I know I’ve had that done to me?”
“MK Ultra mind control,” Mother Tallis corrected. “The MK is for mind control, only with a K, as if in German. It’s certainly possible this was done to you. Blacking out for no apparent reason does sound like something was done to you. The individual being controlled can’t object or resist because, for the most part, they are unaware that the conditioning was put in place. And later, the person won’t remember what they were commanded to do while under control. So no, you’re not mentally defective. Or weak minded. There is no way to resist until you know what is happening to you, especially if chemicals were used to put you under.”
Horrified at how the pieces were coming together, Mia said, “That’s awful! So much worse than iCon breaking into my house, putting in surveillance cameras, watching everything I did. So much worse. They could hack — did hack — into my head and hijack my mind, and I wouldn’t even have a chance to resist what they did to me. Or even know about. If they did that to me, I’d be their slave.”
The older woman said, “You would, if that was done to you. But even if it was, don’t worry. There are techniques, spiritual and mental exercises that can help you get free from this control. Our brains are designed to latch onto God, so the recovery process is returning you to what comes naturally, bringing you back to the mental state you are meant to be in. MK Ultra thought control implants are alien, don’t belong in anybody’s mind. We can help restore that health if you need restoration. You wouldn’t be a slave any longer.”
This last part Mother Tallis was saying didn’t register with Mia. She was overwhelmed with a sense of having been violated in an unending series of ways, and now — so late in the game — only now catching a glimpse of what their entire attack against her had been. iCon’s intrusion was so much bigger than she could have imagined. It had been bad enough when she’d discovered that her house had been open to invasion, bugged with hidden microphones and cameras. The loss of privacy in her own home had been horror enough to make her feel sick and unprotected. But now she was forced to confront the reality that her brain, her mind had been taken over and controlled, violated without her consent, without her knowledge. This was so much worse than any loss of privacy, which had been overwhelming in itself.
In an instant, every idea she had about who she was, her very identity was going up in flames, vanishing like magician’s flash paper. One moment, “Dr. Mia Marwitz” had been a solid, substantial reality. But then in the next after finding out what had happened, in one blinding flash, that person, everything she thought about herself, was gone. Completely consumed, leaving no trace of her old notions behind. And she wasn’t sure what she had left of herself, her soul, after the fire, but it didn’t seem like much.
And then she wondered, “What else did they make me do that I don’t know about? I wouldn’t even know.” Suddenly, she felt like throwing up. She realized that now she knew how Jan had felt after whatever it was that iCon had done to her. Mia thought, “I don’t think I can stand having anyone look at me right now either.” She felt stripped of all protection and good will, absolutely vulnerable and exposed.
Out loud she said, “Actually I’m not sure this information is turning out to be a help. I suspected, I wondered — but the idea that I could actually be, in reality, have my — be hypnotized against my will and forced to obey other people is upsetting. Very, very upsetting — very —. Sorry. I’m sorry. So sorry. So — I have to leave now.”
Abruptly, Mia stood up, faster than she had intended, and knocked over the pitcher of milk with her plate, spilling milk onto her plate and across the table. “Oh! I’m so sorry! Please excuse me!” Ethan picked the pitcher up and set it back upright on the table.
Mia stepped over the bench and walked quickly away from the table to put her plate in the sink. And without looking back at anyone, she almost ran out the back door and into the dark night.
32 | Freak
Once Mia got outside, she realized she didn’t have any idea where she was planning to go. As a newcomer to Enoch’s home, she didn’t even know of any place she could go. All she knew was that she did not want to go back into the house, did not want to talk to anyone about freaking out just now. She especially didn’t want to talk about how it felt to suddenly realize that she’d been a slave to mind control. She never even had a clue what was happening to her. How did it feel!? Frack! She felt stupid, violated, helpless, vulnerable. And stupid. Mostly stupid. And of course, having a freak-out in front everyone back in the kitchen was a genius thing to do. She needed to get away from everybody right now.
To create some distance between her and the house, she started running. She was determined to avoid anyone who might decide to follow her and try to offer unwanted and intrusive comfort and help.
Ever since she had been sent on that faux errand to Noonan Hall, her entire life had been turned inside out. And now she found her mind had been exposed to public view, her chest ripped open so anyone who wanted could peer inside her soul. People with evil intentions could control her with a word, make her do anything they wanted. These monsters had invaded every corner of her life, and she had no privacy left at all, not even inside her own skull. All of this had been going on since —. When? And where? Her first day at iCon? Some night in her house? Possibly the trip to that conference in Miami Beach? But wherever and wherever it had been, sometime, without her knowledge or consent, her mind had been overthrown by the monsters of iCon, and she couldn’t do anything about it! Controlled, managed, dictated to, commanded. Something she thought was impossible. And it had been happening for — Six. Straight. Months. To help her friend keep her job, she had been going along with all the uncomfortable and disturbing things at iCon. Where had that wish to be of help gotten her but into a stinking pile of trouble! Trapped in mind control enslavement, drowned in a tank where they tried to harvest her soul, and then afterward, picked up and literally carried to hell! Those dreams about being surrounded by sneering voyeurs or pressured to give up her password, they hadn’t just been nightmares. It was her reality. Being watched, being controlled had been the reality governing her life, even if she’d been ignorant of it. Now, she needed to get out of sight, away from everyone until she could process this new information and figure out what it meant. And what she needed to do about it.
Once she got away from the light spilling out of the windows of the house, Mia realized there were no exterior lights around the farm. No electricity, so no street lamps, no flood lights outside the buildings. No hanging lanterns either — people here must not fear the dark. Also, the farm lanes were not paved, so there were too many unexpected ruts and bumps to
make it possible to run, or even walk very quickly — unless you wanted to fall flat on your face and tear your lovely new blue dress. At least she was wearing shoes that fit this time. Mia walked as quickly as she could to get on the far side of the closest building. As she walked behind the building toward its opposite end, she heard the sounds of talking and laughter drift out from the windows. Going by what she could hear, this building seemed to be a dormitory for the farm and guild workers, and the sounds of the happy people inside made her relax a little. This cheerful atmosphere inside the dorm was a testimony to the kind of place Ismarsettehka was. No evil plots, no hidden mind control here.
Not far from the end of the dormitory was a large barn with light shining out an open door. She glanced back toward the kitchen door of the house, then hurried across the yard to the barn. There was a lantern burning inside, hanging on a hook in the walkway between the stalls. Horses shuffled around briefly as Mia moved farther into the barn. A tall cherry red horse stuck his head over the stall door. She recognized Maru-Dannum, the horse who had helped rescue her from Mount Graham. Stepping closer, she held her hand out to be sniffed and began stroking his nose, neck, and mane. After a moment she opened the stall door and moved inside. And then jumped a little — Enoch was already inside the stall.
“Good evening, Mia. Did you sleep well? I told them not to wake you for supper, because I knew you were exhausted after your experiences over the past day or two.” Enoch scratched the horse under his chin. “As long as you’re in there, you might as well help with grooming Maru-Dannum. I have already curry combed him. You’ll need a brush to get out all the dirt and loose hair out of his coat. I’m sure he would appreciate it, even though he’s already been groomed once already today for being such a good horse.”
Enoch glanced toward the doorway of the barn, then took a seat on a bale of hay in the corner of the stall.
“Oh, you told them not to wake me?” Raising the pitch of her voice half an octave to express a snarky attitude, Mia said, “And what else did you tell them about me? Everything that happened with Kit? How else would they know I’d been having trouble? ‘Look! It’s the freak who got her brain taken over by Ultra Special K mind control, drowned in a chemical milk bath to have her mind uploaded to a computer. All to make it possible for a demon to possess her soul.’ Just what I needed.” Her voice went back to normal. “So happy I could give everyone something to talk about.”
Enoch pointed to the grooming box. “It’s the softest brush with the strap for your hand. No, the other one. That’s it. Now, notice the way Maru’s coat grows in different directions. It’s not all uniform, so be careful not to brush against the grain. Long smooth strokes. That’s it, that’s it. Be extra gentle brushing his head and legs.”
After a long silence broken only by the sounds of the brush quietly rasping along the red horse’s coat and the other animals moving throughout the barn, Enoch said, “You know, Maru does not take to everyone. Most people would not have been allowed to enter his stall the way you were.”
Mia said, “I didn’t presume. I was invited in.”
“Were you.”
“Yes, I was. He stuck his head over the door, I said hello, and then he said, ‘Glad you could stop by, come in for a bit.’ Accepting the invitation was just a neighborly thing to do.”
After watching them for a moment, Enoch said, “Yes, I do believe you were invited in for a visit.” Mia continued brushing the horse. After a few moments, he said, “It’s a funny thing about stress and fear. Animals seem to know when people are stressed, and what’s more, many will try to do what they can to relieve it and bring it to an end. I’ve seen a cat walk back and forth across a table, meowing at one person, then the other, trying to get the argument between the two to stop. Or a dog will place a paw or his head on someone’s knee. People, on the other hand, are not always helpful in their reactions to stress in others. Some use the distress as an opportunity to be mean or act like a bully, kicking the person who’s down. Or use it to prove a point. ‘See? I told you that was a bad idea. Next time, you should do what I say!’ Or maybe they’ll say, ‘Oh, stop whining. There’s not much wrong with you. I’ve gone through much worse things than that.’ Others try to take up the fight for the person experiencing stress, joining in the anger over an issue, even if they don’t really have a stake in it.”
Enoch continued talking while Mia concentrated on brushing Maru’s coat. “And then there’s the person who is feeling the stress — how do they deal with the pressure? Some cry or fall apart in the moment, letting someone else have to deal with the problem, so they recover quickly and suffer no after effects. Another type of person keeps their wits about them and acts well during the stressful occasion. But then once the danger is over, then they feel afraid and upset. All the earlier feelings that they held off during the crisis comes rushing in. For no apparent reason when they return to a safe place, they feel all the earlier fear and helplessness.”
“That sounds true to me. True of me. Too true. I’m going to remember that for future reference. Delayed emotional responses after periods of stress.” Mia thought for a moment. “I’ve also noticed that some people will do or say anything to escape a conflict, to avoid being drawn into a fight. They don’t seem to care what would happen if they draw back and let the problem continue unopposed. A moment’s peace is worth the price of any compromise or appeasement. I don’t think I’m like that. I hope so anyway. I don’t know if I would have the courage to run into a burning building to save someone’s life, but I do step forward in challenges or confrontations. Sometimes I can face things head on — when there’s something that can be done about it. But you’ve also seen me run away when I was overwhelmed, so I don’t want to overstate things, make myself sound more courageous than what I really am. With open-ended, emotional issues, I’m not very good at all trying to face the situation. That’s usually when there’s no clear answer or resolution to it. When nothing that can be done to make things better.” She moved around to brush the other side of Maru-Dannum.
Enoch said, “When you move around the back of a horse, be sure that you keep your hand on the horse, so he knows where you are at all times. Surprises are bad for both horses and people. Sudden reactions can bring out the worst, not-normal behavior from anyone.”
“I’ll remember that too, Greatest Grandfather.” For several minutes, Mia silently continued her attentions to Maru.
After this long pause, she said, “Did I tell you that I broke the nose of the beast who goes by the name of Chase? When we were in that cave on Mount Graham, he put something in the power bars he gave me, to make me more cooperative. Instead, the drug made me freak out. I lost my mind and went into total berserker mode. My brain lost in a panic, I fought back when he tried to grab me. Elbow, meet giant’s nose. I knew what was happening, but I had no control over what I was doing. Couldn’t stop myself. I was consumed with the idea of trying to escape, of preventing the giant from capturing me and then making a meal out of me, like what had been done to the people who used to live near the mountain. Even though at the time, some part of me knew that I’d probably be killed for acting that way. And eaten. But that didn’t stop me.” Another pause. “I was outside recovering when you dropped me a line, haha.”
Enoch chuckled. “Haha! I did drop you a line, didn’t I. Just stringing you along, Greatest Granddaughter. Haha! But seriously, overall, being drugged turned out to be a good thing. Rescue would have been more challenging if you had been inside with the rest of that crew.”
“No kidding! Especially with that gigantic raptor king in there. If only people knew what Damien Cezary really was! It might change their minds about going along with any Geek Rapture offered by iCon.” Mia looked at Enoch, then asked, “So why did they think I might cooperate with them? Why did they grab me in the first place? I didn’t completely understand what Chase told Cezary about it.”
Maru
-Dannum turned his head and bumped Mia’s shoulder. “Sorry, Maru! Guess I am talking more than I’m brushing you, aren’t I.” She started brushing his flank again.
Enoch hesitated before answering. “Those are two entirely different questions. The reason they kidnapped you —. If you remember, I told you that The Watchers and the Fallen Ones are hoping to strip the souls out of people, then turn those souls into a commodity by harvesting and selling their talents and abilities. Using his ability to analyze your scent, Talmai recognized from the beginning how closely related you and I are even though there are millennia between us in age. All Nephilim can analyze genetics through their sense of smell, and precisely identify who any individual is, along with their name, past experiences, family tree. This let him know that you were born with pre-Flood soulish abilities. And he knows very well that the closer to the source of all creation, the more powerful the gift. Which means that all pre-Flood talents and technologies are more valuable than anything that came along after the Flood. I believe they wanted you for your latent soulish powers and your overall psychic talents. They have been unable to fashion from scratch even the simplest artificial soul with basic supernatural abilities to inhabit their virtual environment, let alone create a higher being with angel-like powers or talents. They’re finding out that no matter what they do, they can’t make something out of nothing, which is what the Lord of Glory did in the beginning. These evil monsters deny their need for the Almighty, but even if they won’t admit it, they’re having to steal the dirt that God used to make human souls out of. Otherwise, they get nowhere with their plans.”
No Geek Rapture for Me_I'm Old School Page 41
