by Linda Hawley
“Oh, I’m sorry, Ann. I didn’t know you were close.”
“It’s okay. I came in to give you some business,” I said, trying to change the subject and lighten the mood.
Rebecca smiled. “What can I do for you?”
“It’s a little bit unconventional, but just go with it, okay?” I asked, looking into her eyes.
“I’ll do what I can. I love unconventional,” she replied, smiling.
“I’ve sent my aunt flowers before…”
“Saundra, right?”
“How could you remember that?” I asked in astonishment.
“It’s my business. Do you want to send her flowers again?” she asked as she fumbled through her index-card file. Rebecca's Flower Shoppe was no-tech. They kept their customer information in card files, didn’t accept credit cards, and hand-delivered all their flowers to the intended recipient.
“I’d like to send Aunt Saundra red roses—”
“A dozen?” she said softly.
“Yes, for the next three years, on all holidays and her birthday.”
“Oh, that’s very sweet, Ann. She’ll love that. That’s not so unconventional. We have several standing orders like that.”
“Well, not when they pay up front.”
“You’d like to pay for three years of flower delivery now?”
“Yes.”
“How about I just set up a monthly invoice and bill you?”
“I’d rather do it this way. Please don’t have me explain. Can you just figure out what the cost is, adding in an annual cost increase, and then call my phone and leave me a message with the amount due, and I’ll stop by later today with cash?” I asked her, pleading.
“That’s not a problem. Here’s a list of annual holidays. Can you circle which holidays you want flowers sent to her?” she asked, sliding the paper and a pen across the counter. “And what do you want written on the card?”
“No card. She’ll know they’re from me,” I said as I circled the holidays our families celebrated together with Elinor when she was growing up.
“I’ve already got your aunt’s birthday shown on your card here, so I’ll add that too.”
“Okay. And Rebecca, no matter what you hear, I want you to keep delivering the flowers to Aunt Saundra, okay?”
“Now you’re making me a little nervous. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. But I want you to promise me—it’s very important. No matter what you hear from me or about me, keep delivering the flowers for the full three years, okay?”
“Okay, Ann. I will. I promise,” she said with conviction.
“Thank you. And charge me a fair price, okay? Just like I were ordering one dozen at a time, okay? I don’t need a volume discount,” I said, looking up to her.
“Whatever you say. You’re right, this order is unconventional,” Rebecca said and then laughed. “You’re going to need an armed guard to follow you here from the bank,” she joked.
“Thanks, hon,” I said, reaching to her for a quick hug.
“You take care of yourself,” she said, concerned, looking into my face.
With the bell jingling behind me, I left the shop, still smelling the wonderful fresh flowers.
Lulu and I made our way to Aunt Saundra’s.
“You just couldn’t stay away?” Aunt Saundra called out with a smile from the open doorway she stood in.
Lulu ran up to her with her bottom wagging, and Aunt Saundra bent down to her.
“Hello again, Lulu,” she said, ruffling her fur as I walked up.
“Hello, dear,” Aunt Saundra said, kissing me on the cheek and then hugging me.
“Hello,” I said softly to her, holding her extra close for a moment. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, my dear,” she said, then pulled me away to look into my face. “Is everything okay?”
“Raymond’s memorial service is this morning.”
“Oh, my dear, I’m sorry,” she said, leading me into the house.
“Thank you. Do you think we could sit in the garden out back for a few minutes?”
“Of course. I know you love the waterfall back there.”
“I do,” I said as we walked through the house toward the back door, arm in arm. Sitting next to the garden waterfall and other gurgling fountains was loud enough to prevent peekers from listening, if they tried.
Aunt Saundra opened the back door, and I stepped out with Lulu. She headed right for the lowest fountain and started drinking, as I sat right next to the loudest water sound. My aunt sat in the chair next to me, enveloped in the natural rhythm.
I leaned forward to her to talk softly. “Do you think Lulu could stay with you again this weekend?”
“You needn’t even ask, Ann. Of course—it’s a standing invitation,” she said, curious but not asking.
“Thank you,” I said appreciatively. “I have something to tell you: Elinor and Eliott eloped two weeks ago,” I said, looking at her reaction.
“My, my, that is news, isn’t it? And how are you doing with the elopement?” she asked with concern.
“I was in complete shock at first, and then of course Elinor broke into my heart, and I forgave her. They eloped in France—you know Eliott is French.”
“Yes, I recall that.”
“They didn’t really want a huge wedding. They’re so in love.”
“Yes. Love is powerful,” she said, looking down at her hands.
“It is,” I agreed, looking at her. “You must miss him, don’t you?”
“Yes, sometimes very much. As you do Armond, I’m sure,” she said, looking at me.
“Yes. But I do feel that he is often with me, guiding me and making a path for me,” I said with surety.
“That’s beautiful, Ann, and very special,” she said with feeling.
“Saundra,” I began with a quiet voice, moving close to her ear. “If you receive a dozen red roses, always remember they are from me, and wherever I am, remember that I am thinking of you…and Elinor.”
She looked at me, horrified, and then leaned to my ear. “Are you in trouble?”
“Trouble…no. But I am involved in something that’s complicated. I will do everything possible to stay safe, but I want you to know, no matter what you hear, that as long as you receive roses from me, you can know that I am alive and well,” I whispered in her ear.
She looked at me with real concern in her face. “I know you, Ann. And I know you fear for the state of our country. But remember, fear and faith cannot exist together. You either have faith that things will improve—and work to that end—or you let fear consume you, and nothing good will come from that,” she said quietly but passionately.
“You always were wise,” I said, touched by her words of comfort. “I do have faith, and I’m working for the good of this country. I believe it can get better.”
“You did it once with the Air Force and then the CIA, and you can certainly help the country again,” she said and then took my hands, peering into my eyes. “Just remember, you are already a hero to this country, whether they know it now or not.”
My eyes suddenly filled with liquid, tears spilling down my cheeks, and I was unable to speak. This woman had been a mother figure to me all my life. She knew me—she knew my heart—and it killed me to leave her not knowing where I was.
Aunt Saundra embraced me and, holding on tight, whispered, “You do what you have to do, and I will remember you every time I see those beautiful roses, my dear Ann. You have been a blessing to me always.”
Unable to stop myself, I cried into her shoulder, like the hundreds of other times I had since I was a child. Ten minutes later, I was heading out the door.
Arriving at my lawyer’s office, the paralegal announced that I was five minutes late to the appointment. Lawyers. She had my updated will ready for me—it stated that Lulu would go to Aunt Saundra in the event that I was pronounced dead or missing. Everything else would go to Elinor.
I had one
last stop to make before Raymond’s memorial service.
Pulling up to the back service door of the main post office, I approached and rang the bell.
In the past several years, the U.S. Postal Service had made extreme budget decisions that closed thousands of branches throughout the country and laid off scores of employees, attempting to stabilize their financial deficit. In our city of more than one hundred thousand citizens, we now had one single post office.
After a few minutes, the postmaster himself answered the half door.
“Hi, George,” I said with a smile.
“Hi, Ann. I haven’t seen you for a while,” the postmaster responded. “I heard about Raymond at AlterHydro. That was a tragedy,” he said grimly.
“Yeah. We were friends. It is a tragedy. He has two young boys,” I added.
“Oh, that’s just terrible. I don’t know what would lead a father to take his own life with two boys at home.”
“I think that sometimes things happen, and people don’t see a way out.”
“You’re right about that, Ann. It’s old farts like me who know that if you just hang tough through the day, tomorrow the sun will come up and things may be better,” he said optimistically.
“You’re wise, George,” I exclaimed. “And how are things going here?”
He looked down, pensive, and was quiet for a few moments.
“Well, Ann, the sun will rise again tomorrow,” he said, looking at me.
I reached over the half door, extending my arms, and gave my old friend a hug. He hugged me back.
“The post office is certainly not like when you and your dad would come to this door and pick up the baby chicks you had ordered,” he said wistfully.
“No…it’s not, George,” I said quietly. “Those were good days, weren’t they?” I asked him with a smile.
“They were, my dear…they certainly were,” he responded with a grin. “What can I do ya for today?”
After explaining that I had a large number of boxes to be mailed, he agreed that I could leave them there and come around the front to pay for them.
Standing in the long line waiting to pay, I thought about the decrease in services not only with the post office, but also in city services, and in banking. The post office no longer delivered mail on Saturdays and kept shorter hours during the week. The city had decreased its trash pickup to once a week. Banks were no longer open on Saturdays and encouraged their patrons to bank online. All these changes, but the cost for these services—and our local taxes—were only increasing. It was an unbalanced system that burdened citizens.
An hour after I had arrived at the post office, my boxes were paid for and shipped.
I drove away thinking about what I had just sent Elinor and Eliott—everything sentimental that was in my house. Pictures, trinkets, letters, pottery pieces that I had created, and many other things sent to her for safekeeping and preservation.
My life was taking a new turn, and I had to commit myself one hundred percent. As Aunt Saundra had said, “Do what you have to do.” I kept some special things for myself in my purse, to be mobile with me—pictures of Armond, Elinor, an elopement picture of Elinor and Eliott, Aunt Saundra, my dad and me, and of course Lulu. I also had an antique keychain of a little sailboat that Armond had given me, a few of his personal trinkets, and a few special love notes he had once tucked in my wallet for me to discover later. It was all I needed as I committed myself to the cause of GOG.
Chapter 13
BELLINGHAM, WASHINGTON
The Year 2015
Raymond’s memorial service had been heart wrenching, especially seeing his two young boys now without their wonderful father. Nearly a week since his death, AlterHydro employees were starting to return from the shock of the suicide. But I sensed something simmering in the undercurrent of the company that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. My flight to attend the meeting with GOG was tomorrow, and I looked forward to getting away from the company for a short while.
My phone rang. “Ann Torgeson,” I answered.
“Ann, it’s Bennett. Can you come to my office?” he said, businesslike.
“Sure. I’ll be right up,” I said directly.
He sounds stressed. Nerves erupted from my stomach.
I was up the stairwell quickly, unsure what he wanted to discuss. I got to his office and briefly knocked upon the open door.
He stood abruptly. “Let’s go for a walk. Leave your pad and pen here,” he said, his eyes hardened.
No greeting. “Okay,” I replied obediently.
I followed him down the hall to the elevator in silence. After entering the steel elevator, Bennett looked straight ahead—more silence. We exited near the lobby, and I followed him past Vicki and out the front door of AlterHydro into a clear, sunny day.
“Let’s walk down by the water,” Bennett said, looking forward.
After five minutes of walking in silence, I asked forwardly, “Are we gonna walk, or are we gonna walk and talk?”
He looked over at me with cold eyes. “You flew to Salt Lake late last week,” he said, looking forward again.
“I did,” I said guardedly.
“Why?” he asked, still looking ahead and down the hill we were descending.
“My daughter just eloped in France, and I went to see the newlyweds. After Raymond’s death, I thought I should go see my daughter and her new husband.”
He stopped abruptly and faced me intently. I followed his lead.
“I was told that you went there to sell our company secrets,” Bennett said, challenging me.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Bennett! This again?” I said angrily. “Would you like my new son-in-law to fax you his French marriage certificate?” I said with a sarcastic edge, leaning toward him.
“What’s going on, Ann?” he said, hurling the words at me.
“What’re you talking about, Bennett?” I asked, matching his language.
“You keep taking these strange trips. You don’t ask for vacation time, you just take off like you’re a volunteer here,” he said, the words flying out of him, accusing me.
“Are we talking about Vicki now? Vicki’s irritated that I’m not giving proper notice?”
“Vicki? You think I care about the opinion of that frumpy woman?” he said, offended by my words.
I just looked at him. He took me by the arm, persuading me to continue our walk down to Bellingham Bay.
We walked in silence, both of us cooling down.
“From the moment I met you,” he began softly, “I felt a kinship to you. I felt like we could unite for a common cause here at AlterHydro. But from the time you interviewed with my brother, all I’ve been doing is defending you. It’s three years now, Ann, and I’m losing the battle,” he said, defeated.
“The battle…the battle with who?” I asked, looking over to him as we walked toward the water.
“My family, who funds this corporation, and others, who tell me about these trips you’re taking without me knowing anything about them—”
“Who is telling you about my trips?” I asked, interrupting, eager to know who the mole was.
He was silent.
“I think I have a right to know who is trying to sabotage my career,” I said, an edge sneaking into my voice. “This is the second time it’s happened, Bennett,” I said, peering at him.
Bennett remained impassive.
He’s not gonna tell me, I realized.
We reached the bay, and as the sea lapped up at the shore, he quietly said, “I need to let you go.”
“What?” I was incensed and nearly hollered.
He met my eyes. “You’re no longer an asset to this corporation.” It was edged in a cold stare.
I broke his gaze, stepped ten feet away, and sat heavily on a wooden park bench that overlooked the sea.
Fired? He just fired me? Disbelief filled me as I sat staring ahead, watching the seagulls scanning the sea for their meals as though it were an ordinary day.<
br />
Bennett came and sat next to me. Life was continuing on, while I was being fired for the first time in my life. My mind was reeling in shock.
Astonishingly, Bennett broke through my anger with ten simple words. “The ideas you believe in and pursue, I share, Ann,” he said in a whisper.
I snapped my head toward him in shock. He turned his body to face me, his face inches from mine. His nature had changed entirely, with truth replacing anger.
“You, Ann, are a courageous warrior on the front lines, but I am only an executive who can financially support the cause without ever getting directly involved,” he whispered as I maintained eye contact with his blue, piercing eyes.
“I never knew…” I said softly.
Our intimate dialogue continued with raw honesty.
“Of course you didn’t—” he began.
“But why fire me?” I asked quietly.
“There is someone—he was already at the company before you were hired—who doesn’t only work for us. His primary job is to keep an eye on you for the government.”
“Oh no…” I recoiled.
“It’s dangerous for me to even tell you of his presence, Ann,” he continued. I could clearly see emotion in his eyes. “I’m firing you to keep you safe,” he said, peering into my eyes.
I suddenly realized that Bennett had been looking out for me the whole time I was at AlterHydro. We shared a cause, and he truly cared for me.
“Bennett, tell me his name. You’ve already put yourself in danger…telling me his name will not harm you anymore,” I pleaded.
“But it may do harm to you.”
“I’m tougher than you realize. I’m trained as a CIA agent, Bennett. Tell me his name,” I quietly demanded.
He was silent as he looked into my eyes, searching. Then he looked down and spoke so quietly, I was sure I misheard him.
“What?” I asked sharply.
He looked directly at me, repeating the name. “Paul.”
My breath whooshed out of me in shock, and my eyes involuntarily closed as I flashed back to all of my experiences with Paul. Being in Canada at the same time right after I was hired, showing up to run with me every day, his subtle pursuit of me, always saying the right things, seeming to be the kind of man I wanted, allowing me to come to him, earning my trust until I revealed my involvement with GOG…it was all a lie.
