Marek: Why was I where?
Me: Speed dating. Doesn’t really seem like your kind of thing.
She waits impatiently as the three little dots pop up on the screen and disappear a few times. She’s about ready to send him another text when his message finally comes through.
Marek: I got tired of being alone.
She has absolutely no idea how to respond to that. Here’s this guy who puts on a tough-guy front at work all the time, but that’s just a portion of who he really is. She gets it. He has all this pressure on him to ensure that everyone around him is doing well at their jobs because it’s his job on the line if they don’t. To be honest, that’s exactly why she’s never pushed herself enough at work; she doesn’t want to be management, doesn’t want the stress that comes with it and can’t imagine having that feeling every day. No, she’d rather just go to work, get her job done for the day, and leave. For her, work stays within the walls of the call center, and she can definitely see how that wouldn’t apply to Marek.
Me: So why are you alone? I don’t mean that in the way it comes out, but you’re not exactly struggling in the looks department. It seems like women would be throwing themselves at you.
Marek: It’s more complicated than that.
Ugh. She tosses her phone down onto her bed in frustration. That’s such a non-answer and all it does it annoy her.
Me: Then uncomplicate it for me. Come on, we’re being honest here. Just talk to me.
She waits for the dots to appear, but they never do. The idea that she pushed him too far and he won’t want to talk to her again crosses her mind and she almost sends him another text message to tell him he doesn’t have to tell her anything, but then her phone starts ringing and his name comes up on her screen.
Without hesitation, she answers the call, and his voice comes across the line. “Where do you want me to start?”
“Anywhere you want to. I want to be here for you, but I don’t know how to do that.”
He sighs on the other end, and she can just picture him leaning his head down and running his hand through his hair. He tends to do it a lot when he’s frustrated, and she wonders what’s so difficult about this conversation for him. He’s obviously experiencing some strong feelings.
“Five years ago, my best friend died.”
It’s not the response she was expecting at all, but she stays silent, realizing how hard whatever he is about to say is for him.
“We grew up together. Cassie was the girl next door, and our parents always assumed we would end up together—get married, have kids, the whole nine yards—but I never saw her like that. It honestly never even crossed my mind. I loved her and wanted to protect her, but then ten years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. To say I didn’t take it well is an understatement. I completely rearranged my life and schedule for her. Every doctor’s appointment, every chemo treatment—no matter what, I was there. She fought hard, harder than I would have had the strength to do myself, and she beat it.”
His voice chokes up on the last sentence and Tinley’s heart drops. There’s more to this story, and Tinley doesn’t know if she’s ready to hear what else he has to say. There can’t be a happy ending, or else he would be living it.
The tears in his voice are strong when he continues his story. “She went into remission, and I finally decided to pull my head out of my ass. After spending all that time together and being her support person, I finally saw her in a new light. We had a little too much wine one night to celebrate the anniversary of her being cancer free, and we finally crossed that line. It was more than I could have ever imagined it being. I couldn’t believe all the time I had wasted and vowed to never waste a single minute with her.”
Tinley quietly sobs, knowing where the story is heading. Marek’s voice is heavier and heavier with each word slipping from his mouth, and he no longer hides the sobs, letting the tears fall freely.
“I made plans to spend the rest of my life with Cassie, but not even one month after finally seeing what everyone else around us saw, her cancer was back. It was stronger than ever, and she didn’t have it in her to fight anymore. I was so angry with her. She was just giving up on life, and I didn’t want to let her go. She finally convinced me it was the right thing for her, and I had to be strong for the both of us. Watching her go through that as her energy levels dropped and she couldn’t get out of bed near the end broke me. I pretty much gave up on life that day.”
That’s when the dam breaks free. Everything Marek was holding in releases and Tinley cries on the phone right along with him. She cries for Cassie losing her life at such a young age, cries for Marek for the major heartbreak he suffered and the fact that he might not ever get over it, and she cries for herself, wondering if she’ll ever be enough for him or if he’ll always be haunted by the ghost of his first love.
Chapter 20
Tinley rolls over in bed, and her phone lights up with a notification on her nightstand. After talking with Marek earlier, she found herself completely drained and exhausted. She went to bed a lot earlier than usual, not mentally prepared to process everything he told her over the phone.
Marek: Open your door.
What? That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he text her that in the middle of the night? Well, the clock on her phone says it’s not even ten yet, so it’s not quite the middle of the night, but still. Curiosity gets the better of her, and she quietly slips out of her bedroom. All the lights in their apartment are off, and there’s no light coming from underneath Dakota’s bedroom door, so she must already be asleep. Tinley tiptoes down the hallway and walks over to the front door.
Sure enough, he’s standing on the other side, and he looks completely wrecked. His eyes are bloodshot, and his shoulders are slumped.
“What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I needed to see you.”
She nods and pulls him in, closing the door and locking it behind her. Grabbing his hand, she leads the way to her bedroom. “Are you staying?”
He sits down on the bed, and his voice comes out completely dejected. “If you’ll let me.”
She doesn’t want to get caught, but there’s no way she can turn him away after the conversation they had. He needs her, and she’s willing to give herself to him in any way that’ll make him feel better.
She walks over to the bed and sits beside him. She wraps her arms around him and pulls him closer then he places his hand on her thigh and quickly slides it up. She usually wears an oversized T-shirt to bed, and tonight is no different. She didn’t even think about putting pants on before answering the door, but now she’s rethinking her wardrobe choice.
She puts her hand on his and stops him from taking it any further. “Marek, stop. We shouldn’t be doing this.”
He leans forward and nibbles on the bottom of her ear, and goosebumps cover her entire body. His hand continues its exploration up her thigh, and his fingers slide over the front of her panties. She moans out as he applies pressure to her clit and runs his finger in a circular motion. She throws her head back and almost gives in to the feelings, but knows she shouldn’t be doing this. She quickly stands up and steps away.
“I can’t do this. After tonight, I feel like we both really need to consider what our future looks like, and I don’t know if you’re ready to be in a romantic relationship.”
He stands up and stalks toward her like a lion going after its prey. A shoot of desire goes straight to her core, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep pushing him away. She crosses her legs to curb her feelings, but it does nothing to help. He wraps his hand around her neck and places a small kiss on her lips. “Tinley, it’s been four years since Cassie died. I’ve been mourning her loss this entire time, and I never contemplated the idea of moving on, but with you, things are different. I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before, and tonight when we talked on the phone, I was finally able to release everything I’ve been holding inside. I want this with you. I want us.”
/>
Her resolve was weak before, but now he’s completely smashed anything she was holding back out of the water. He slams his mouth down onto hers, and Tinley moans as Marek runs his hands down her body then hoists her up onto the small desk behind them. Reaching under her shirt, he slides her panties down, leaving her wide open for the taking. Without hesitation, he immediately pulls down his sweatpants and slams right into her. She moans out at the sudden intensity, and he muffles her cries with his mouth. She can’t tell if it’s the emotions floating around them or if something about tonight is different, but she doesn’t get long to contemplate as he slams into her again. She wraps her legs around his waist then he carries her from the desk to the bed and gently lays her down. Their grunts and groans are lost in their passionate kisses as he continues sliding in and out of her.
Their movements and sounds are animalistic as Marek picks up his speed. He’s chasing after his release like a glass of water in the desert. He roughly rips her shirt off her body, and his mouth immediately locks onto her nipple. She throws her head back as the intensity almost brings her right to the brink.
His voice comes out rough and raspy as he asks, “Are you almost there?”
She moans in response as he pushes her legs up onto his shoulders and he sinks even deeper inside of her. She’s completely full of him, and he’s positioned at just the right angle to hit her right where she needs him over and over again. She loses herself and just lets her body take over and feel everything he’s giving her. It’s not long before he’s grunting out his release and he collapses on top of her.
After a minute, he leans up and gently kisses her on the lips and asks, “Did you have yours?”
She turns her face away slightly and just nods her head, not wanting him to get a chance to look into her eyes and see the truth. Tonight, was about him and she doesn’t want to make a big deal over her lack of orgasm.
“Tinley?”
When she doesn’t respond, he turns her face toward his and looks in her eyes. “Fuck, I’m a dick. Why didn’t you say anything?”
She shrugs and smiles. “It’s no big deal. I don’t need to have one every single time. Don’t worry about it.”
“That’s not how this works. I’m not the kind of asshole who’s going to have sex with you and leave you out in the cold. If I say my girl gets an orgasm, you get an orgasm. I’ll spend all night until my tongue is raw if that’s what it takes to prove it to you.”
Her entire face to turns bright red and she looks at him completely stunned. Never in her life has a man been concerned about what she gets out of it when it comes to sex. If things ever end between her and Marek, she’ll be ruined for all future relationships. That’s for sure. She’ll just have to go to a nunnery because there’s no way she could find somebody better.
“Hold on, I want to change positions.”
Tinley nods and starts to roll over, but Marek slightly tugs on her hips and starts rolling the opposite direction. In all of the push and pull from both sides, he puts a little extra force into it, and Tinley slides right off the bed and slams down on the floor.
“Shit, are you okay?”
She lets out a small grunt and flails out flat on her back. She can’t decide which is worse: the pain radiating from her ass where she hit or the fact that she’s lying completely naked on her bedroom floor. Rather than think about either, she starts cracking up laughing.
Banging comes from the other side of her bedroom door, and she immediately covers her mouth with both hands.
“Tinley are you okay?”
She calms herself down long enough to get out, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just rolled out of bed.”
“Do you need me to come in there and help you out?”
That is the last thing she wants. Besides, she doesn’t think Dakota would really appreciate seeing a completely naked Marek in her bed. “No! I’m fine, just go back to bed.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. Good night.”
“Night.”
She stays on the floor for a bit then Marek swoops down and puts her back on the bed. Rather than joining her on the bed, he heads into her bathroom. The sink turns on and off again before he comes back to her on the bed. She’s shocked to see a wet washcloth in his hand, and she’s about to ask him what he’s doing when he gently starts cleaning her up. She’s never had someone do this with her before, and she honestly has no idea how to feel about it.
“Sorry about that. We probably should have discussed birth control methods, but I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time. Are you on the pill?”
She has no idea what he’s talking about until it dawns on her that they didn’t use a condom. She’s never had complete skin to skin contact with any man like that before and knows now why things felt so different. So much better and she wants to have that same connection with him every single time.
She goes into slight panic mode when his last question hits her. They just had sex completely unprotected. Shit. She shakes her head and replies, “I’m not, I’ve never had a reason to be.”
He looks slightly pained, and he opens and closes his mouth multiple times before he says, “I don’t want to be the kind of guy who tells you what to do with your own body, but would you consider going on the pill? After what we just did, I don’t think I could use a condom with you ever again.”
She smiles and almost laughs because they are on the exact same page with each other on that one. She nods and replies, “I was planning on making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. Consider it done.”
He kisses her on the forehead and huffs out, “Thank fuck,” before hopping out of the bed to get rid of the dirty washcloth. He’s only gone for a few seconds before he slides back in and pulls her back to his front and she sighs in contentment.
The mood has officially been killed so no more sexy times tonight, but she feels just as good being wrapped up in his arms.
“I want to take you on a date.”
She rolls over so they’re facing each other and says, “We’ve already been on dates before.”
“No, a real date. I want to pick you up and bring you flowers, take you out to a nice dinner and just get to know each other. I want to take work out of it, take our normal life stressors out of it, just you and me. What do you think?”
“I think you’ve already got me, no need to try to impress me.”
“Good to know where we stand, but this isn’t about that.”
Tinley notices his change in demeanor and realizes how serious he is about this. If there’s one thing she isn’t going to do, it’s pass up the opportunity for a romantic date. She wasn’t lying when she told him she wasn’t going anywhere, but can the same be said for him? There are no guarantees in this life, and you have to take opportunities when they come to you.
“Okay, let’s go on a date then.”
He smiles for the first time since arriving and kisses her lips. She rolls back over so her back is to his front, and his breathing quickly evens out as he falls asleep. As she lies there awake in his arms, she can’t help but wonder if everything he said earlier is true. Is he really ready to move on with her? She doesn’t know how she would be able to handle things if they did end up breaking up. They haven’t been together for long, but her heart has already become more attached than she anticipated. She closes her eyes, and before sleep can take her, she tries to stop worrying and trust that everything will happen the way it’s supposed to.
Chapter 21
Not long after they woke up this morning, Marek went home with plans to pick her up later for their date tonight. That was hours ago and Tinley has been sitting on the couch staring at her turned off television ever since. Last night felt like a turning point in their relationship, but she still feels so confused about everything. She hasn’t had anyone to talk to about their entire relationship, and it’s been driving her crazy.
Normally Dakota would be the person she would turn to in this kind of situation, but she has
n’t seen her best friend all day, but that’s kind of become her M.O. lately. Things between the two of them have been more distant, and Tinley has been so wrapped in everything with Marek that she hasn’t really taken the time to find out what’s going on with her roommate. She knows she should probably reach out to Dakota and find out what’s going on with her but she can’t go on her date tonight with all of this uncertainty. So instead she does the next best thing.
When her sister answers the door, Tinley is shocked. It has been a few weeks since the last time they saw each other, but still, her appearance is pretty rough. Her hair is piled high up on her head, and her eyes are completely sunken in with black circles underneath them. She can’t tell with her oversized T-shirt, but it looks like her belly has doubled in size too. “I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but Tara you look like shit.”
“Don’t remind me of how much sleep I am losing right now. Whoever spread the lie that you should catch up sleep while you’re pregnant before the baby comes has obviously never been pregnant before.”
Tinley just shrugs. Isn’t that how it is though? Get extra sleep at night and take naps during the day? That would make the most sense to her, but then again, she’s never been pregnant before. “Should I know what that means?”
“Between the crazy pregnancy dreams and the frequent trips to the bathroom, I get at most two hours of sleep at a time. Hell, once I pop this little girl out I’ll get longer stretches of sleep than I am right now. At least then I won’t have a baby applying all of its weight and pressure to my bladder anymore.”
That sounds exhausting and not something Tinley wants to experience herself anytime soon. She feels bad for coming over unannounced like this and asks, “Should I leave and let you nap?”
Dating in the Dark (Dating Trilogy Book 1) Page 10
