by M. K. Eidem
"I see," Dakota still wasn't sure how that was possible, but if she'd learned anything since melding with Caradoc, it was that about anything was possible. "What was I remembering?"
"The day the Discovery was hit by space debris." Cali didn't have to imagine how terrifying that had been; she'd experienced it firsthand, through her mother. Earth's interstellar travel had been in its infancy. They hadn't realized they needed energy shields to protect their hauls from the small impacts that could cripple a ship as it had her parents’.
"You saw what happened that day?" Dakota whispered; she'd raised trembling fingers to her lips.
"And felt it. All of it. Just as you did."
"Oh, Gods, Cali."
"How could you stay with a male like that, Mom?" Cali finally asked the question that had haunted her for nearly two hundred fifty years. "Especially after what he did to you and Dad?"
"That's why you've shut your father out of your life?" Dakota looked at Cali in utter disbelief. "Cali, you're taking what happened out of context."
"I'm taking it in the exact context you thought and felt when it happened," Cali argued back.
"Fom nearly a thousand years ago! Cali, thoughts, feelings, and people change."
"He hasn't. He is still the same cold, ruthless, self-centered male he was when he forced you to bond with him to save Dad."
"That's all true," Dakota instantly agreed. "For other beings, because he has to be. Your father is the Paramount, for Gods’ sake. But he's not that way with me, Cali. Or with your dad."
"I find that hard to believe. Father keeps you confined on Diter while he's free to travel wherever he wants."
"I stay on Diter because it's what I want," Dakota immediately corrected her. "I hate being on Zagreus Prime, where the only reason beings approach me is to get closer to your father. It distracts him, which puts him at risk, and I won't allow that. He is mine!"
Her mother's possessive growl shocked Cali. Yes, she'd seen her mother and father interact before, but it had always seemed so… cool. Her mom’s reaction now was anything but.
"How can you feel that way after what he did?"
"Cali," her mother's voice softened, "I'm not going to deny the emotions I had at the time. I was terrified. I didn't understand what was happening or why. My concept of the universe was so small back then, so narrow."
"You're saying you'd have been okay with what he did if you'd just understood more?"
"Yes. And no. Your father has been the Paramount for an extremely long time, Cali. He's maintained that position because he is the strongest, most gifted, and yes, sometimes the most ruthless of all the Zagreus. He had to be, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a heart, that he doesn't care, didn't get lonely. For millenniums he watched as others found their bond mate and melded with them. But never him, not until he found the Discovery."
"And you."
"Yes, so he did what he'd always done. He took without asking, but the meld didn't occur the way it should have."
"What do you mean?" Cali had never heard this before.
"I mean, a meld is supposed to be a joining of the mind, body, heart, and soul. In that order."
"That's not how it happened between you."
"No, I was too close to death, so Caradoc melded with my body first."
"He forced his power into you, healing you, without your permission." Cali began to get a sick feeling in her stomach.
"Yes, but you have to have realized it went deeper than that. Caradoc had to grab onto my soul to keep it from leaving my body, claiming a piece of it as his own before giving me a part of his. That melded our life spans. It made my body and soul his, but my heart and mind still belonged to Paul, and that enraged your father. The Paramount had never been second to another being before and never expected to be with his bond mate.
"That's what he was so angry about?" Cali whispered.
"Yes, but none of us understood that at the time, and we all got hurt because of it. Caradoc, because Paul would always be my first love, just as I would be Paul's. Paul, because his wife, the one who had promised to love him and only him, began to have feelings for another male. And me, because Caradoc was able to give Paul something that I never could, making him into an even better male. While all that occurred, your dad and I were both struggling with the fact that we were no longer human."
"I… I never got that from your memories," Cali told her.
"Of course, you didn't because you only walked through a small part of them. It took time for us to find our way. Along with a great deal of compromise and acceptance, mostly from your father."
"You mean Dad," Cali corrected.
"No, I mean your father, Caradoc. He never planned to have multiple bond mates, but he realized I'd never be whole, after melding with me, without Paul. Can you even begin to understand how that had to have gutted a male like your father? To know that he would never be enough for the female he loved? And he does love me, Cali. Me and your dad."
"I just don't understand how you can love him the way he is."
"Are you saying you'd change who you are, just so some male loved you?"
"What? No. Of course not. That's not how love works." Cali saw her mom's satisfied look and sighed, realizing her mom had just made her point. "Alright, I get it, but this is the Paramount we're talking about."
"Who is still just a male, albeit a compelling one. A male who wants love for who he is in his heart and soul. Not for who his position demands he be. Just as you do, if you're still pretending to be only Earthan tells me anything."
"I…"
"You're more like your father than you want to admit, California Rose. Maybe that's why your aloofness has cut him so deeply."
"I… I just couldn't reconcile the parent I knew and loved with the male in your memories."
"Because you aren't supposed to." The smile her mother gave her absolved Cali of her guilt. "That male is my male. For you, he is the one who will always love and protect you, even when you reject him because you are his youngling, and Caradoc never gives up on someone he loves."
Chapter Nineteen
Cali absently twirled the wine in her glass as she stared out into the vast darkness of space, her mother's words tumbling around in her brain. Was she like her father, after all? She'd never wanted to believe that, but she also refused to lie to herself.
Her father was secretive. With maybe the exception of her mom and dad, no one knew the extent of his gifts.
She had secrets, too, that she entrusted to no one.
She also wanted to be loved for who she was, not what she was. That is why she always presented herself as a full Earthan, even though it meant giving up friendships when her life span 'ended.'
On the other hand, her father let very few get close, but then he had many millenniums on her. Maybe he'd just gotten tired of how much it hurt to say goodbye.
Gods, was she starting to understand her father and agree with him?
Maybe her mom was right.
Then there was their most significant similarity of all; infusing power into another without their permission.
"Cali?"
Turning, she found Xanto standing not far behind her.
"Is everything okay?"
"I'm not sure," she told him honestly.
"Your mother?"
"She's fine," she quickly reassured him. "We just had a long-overdue heart-to-heart that has me reevaluating some things."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Unfortunately, no. I have to work this out for myself."
"Alright, but if you change your mind, I'm always willing to listen. I am your friend, Cali."
"I know." Walking up to him, she stretched up on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Xanto."
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Jamis raised a hand and carefully touched the four nearly-indiscernible spots at the base of his neck. If it weren't for his Apreian vision, he wouldn't have noticed them at all. But he knew every injury his body had ever sustained
, and these were new.
How had he gotten them?
If he didn't know better, he'd think they were from a viper bite, but the Meddygs had assured him they had only ingested the venom in his and Taarig's bodies.
And yet, he kept having this recurring dream of a viper undulating over him and not being able to move as it struck.
Leaving the cleansing room, he pulled out a clean uniform from his closet. Moving to the bed, he sat down. His gaze went to the spot that had been soaked with viper blood as he pulled on his pants.
How had that blood gotten there?
Where had Taarig's shirt gone?
And why were the senses that kept him alive in battle screaming that he was missing something?
But what?
Viper blood in the room meant there had to be a viper in the room and not the one that had killed Tecumseh.
Slowly he rose and went back into the cleansing room. Leaning closer to the mirror, he got a better look at the marks. Two evenly-spaced sets on either side of his jugular, with one being a little wider. Just like the fangs of a Sion Viper. Which meant a viper had bitten him. A viper that had mysteriously disappeared. Just like Taarig's shirt.
"What are you looking at?" Taarig asked from the doorway.
"Puncture wounds," Jamis told him.
"What?" Taarig stepped up behind him and leaned in. "Those look like…"
"Viper bites."
"But how?"
"I don't know." Jamis watched a strange expression come over Taarig's face. "What?"
"Does it ache?"
"At times. Why?"
Instead of answering, Taarig removed his jacket and opened his shirt, exposing his well-defined chest. Jamis was about to ask him what he was doing, not because he was uncomfortable with them both being half-naked, but because he wanted to figure this out.
Then he saw them.
Four faint marks marred Taarig's left pectoral; one parallel set slightly wider than the other.
"Are you having dreams too?" Jamis asked.
"Dreams? No. They’re more like memory flashes."
"Of vipers?"
"Of pain," Taarig rubbed the marks on his chest. "A soul-draining pain, then I hear Cali's voice, feel her touch, and…"
"And… what?" Jamis demanded.
"And a power, unlike anything I've ever felt before, begins to fill me."
"You ingested less venom than I did." Jamis’s eyes took on a distant look. He remembered feeling something powerful filling him, but he'd thought it had been the antidote. Now he wondered.
"I didn't finish my drink," Taarig told him, closing his shirt. "It was warm and had a strange taste."
"And you were against being with Tecumseh from the start."
"I'm sure that had something to do with it," Taarig agreed, pulling his jacket back on as he left the cleansing room. "So, what are you dreaming about?"
"A young viper on my chest, rearing back to strike, and not being able to stop it," Jamis said, following him into his resting chamber.
"Young?" Taarig gave him a confused look. "Not the mature one you killed?"
"No, which along with your memories, makes me think there's more going on here than we're aware of."
"Tecumseh was spouting off about her bey-bees and a she," Taarig said thoughtfully.
"Which we all assumed was just crazy talk, but now I'm beginning to wonder."
"Because of the blood and my missing shirt." After all their years together, Taarig could easily follow Jamis’s train of thought.
"Yes," Jamis finished dressing as he spoke. "We need to speak with that Elevsìs male again."
"Xanto," Taarig told him. "I investigated him as a possible suspect in the explosion." At Jamis’s surprised look, he continued. "It was a possibility. After all, it occurred not long after he arrived."
"I see, and what did you find out?"
"That he's a long-term employee of Wik Corp, and that's about it," he said in disgust. "A Sub Commander who’s investigating an explosion on a Star Base doesn't have enough clearance to know more."
"The Supreme Chairman seems to have taken a special interest in our Cali."
Taarig's lips turned up at Jamis’s possessiveness. It seemed he was coming around, then they turned down, remembering what else he'd found. "Enough to have Xanto staying in Cali's quarters."
"What?!" Jamis’s outrage bounced off the walls. "How could she allow another male near her!"
"Why shouldn't she," Taarig goaded, "when you… we made it clear we weren’t interested in furthering a relationship with her?"
Jamis ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I know, it's just…"
"You want her to be our Lalla as much as I do."
"Yes, I didn't realize how much until right now," Jamis finally admitted, giving Taarig a small smile, "Thanks to your stubborn insistence."
"What's a bond mate for if not to let you know when you're wrong."
"Something you don't get to do often."
"That's what you think." Taarig lost the smile that had started to grow on his face. "So how do we convince Cali to be our Lalla when we've already betrayed her once?" Taarig included himself in that because while he'd been against bringing Tecumseh back to Jamis’s quarters, he also hadn't prevented it, which made him just as guilty.
"By telling her the truth, that we made a mistake and that it will never happen again," replied Jamis.
"And if she doesn't believe us?"
"We make her."
"I'm beginning to believe no being can make Cali do something she doesn't want."
"Which is one of the reasons I love her," Jamis agreed.
Taarig's eyebrows rose at that because Jamis was never one to express his feelings. That he was doing so now, concerning Cali, told him Jamis had finally committed to Cali becoming their Lalla. "I do too."
"Then we need to make her ours."
"I left my link code for her, the day after our attack, at The Brink," Taarig told him. "She hasn't used it."
"Then we go and confront her."
Taarig put a restraining hand on Jamis’s arm. "In her place of business? Would you appreciate it if she stormed the Command Center to confront us?"
Jamis knew he wouldn't. "Then what do you suggest?"
"That we contact The Brink and see if we can't convince her to see us, at her convenience."
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Staring up at her ceiling, Cali tried to make sense of her churning thoughts. She'd gone to bed hoping her mind would settle. Instead, unsettling dreams filled it.
Dreams of her father morphing into Jamis.
Of Taarig into her dad.
Cali'd sworn she'd never be like her father, but after hearing her mother describe how her father had healed her, Cali couldn't help but wonder if she herself hadn’t done something similar when she'd healed Jamis and Taarig.
Had the power she'd used somehow influenced them?
Was that why Taarig had finally given her his link code?
Slowly she lifted a hand and touched her left breast. She didn't need to see it to know it was where Taarig's last bite had transferred to her. Even after all her time in the rejuvenation tank, four small prick bites remained, just as the ones from Jamis did on her neck.
Knowing she wasn't going to solve anything remaining in bed, she got up and went into her cleansing room. Her reflection in the mirror had her pausing. While her hair was still glowing, the energy beneath her skin wasn't as noticeable. Now, thanks to Xanto, she knew she could conceal it. So, it was time to get back to work. Hopefully, it would help her decide how to deal with Taarig and Jamis.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
"Are you sure you should be back to work so soon?" Mae asked as she placed a drink in front of Nalo.
"I told you I'm feeling fine, Mae," Cali reassured her. "All I needed was a little rest."
"I know, I just worry."
"Well, worry less about me and more about you and that little one." Cali gestured at Mae's dis
tended belly. "Have you settled on a name yet?"
"No," Mae said, giving her a harried look. "Tay says we have to see her first."
"So, he finally believes you’re carrying a female?"
"No, he's just saying it to humor me."
Mae's putout expression had Cali chuckling. "He's a good male and mate."
"Yes, he is." Mae ran a hand over her belly. "That's why secretly I'm hoping this offspring is male. It would make him so happy."
"He'll be happy with whatever you have, Mae." Cali gave Mae's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"I know that, but Tay's life was so rough as a youngling. He saw so many terrible things. I know he wants to make sure it's different for his male."
"Which is why he got you off Gala. You, and whatever offspring you have together, will have a good life span here, Mae. I promise you that."
The sound of a transmission coming in on The Brink's common comm had Cali moving to answer it.
"Commander Dexxirs," Cali said when Jamis filled the screen.
"Khatun Baker," Jamis began then grimaced slightly, "Cali."
Cali raised an eyebrow at the correction. Jamis didn’t correct himself. They rose even farther when the visual on the screen expanded, showing that Taarig was also there. "Sub Commander."
"Cali," Taarig responded with a much warmer expression on his face.
"Taarig and I wanted to speak with you. Taarig left you his link code." He gave Taarig an aggravated look when he bumped him in the back. "I mean, we were hoping you'd use the code."
"I received it," Cali told them, not wanting either of them to think Mae hadn't given it to her. "I just didn't see any reason to use it."
"You didn't…" Jamis growled, and Taarig bumped him again. After taking a deep breath, Jamis continued in a less aggressive tone. "Taarig and I would greatly appreciate it if we could meet to discuss something with you, in private."
"I'm working." Cali wasn't sure why she was pushing so hard except that she enjoyed seeing Jamis outside his comfort zone.
"You're the owner," Jamis barked.
"And you're the Star Base Commander," Cali argued back. "Do you get to neglect your duties whenever you want?"
"No," Jamis admitted gruffly. She watched him turn his head and nod as Taarig murmured something Cali couldn't hear. "Could we then arrange a time to meet when you finish working?"
