“What? That I went to hell and didn’t even get a cool t-shirt? Or how about the fact that I was going to call her days ago and apologize for … Well, for something personal. Or maybe I should tell her that my idiot ex is here and has me drugged, or that I was stuck in the first ward and beaten to a pulp by a dead man? Which part should I tell her exactly, Glenda?”
“This is what I’m talking about. No gratitude.” Glenda sniffed and took a seat.
Peaches winked at me and wandered over to be pet by Glenda.
“Demon, eat one of her legs.”
“Repast, you say? Tis not my feeding time,” Peaches replied in his screeching voice. “But if you so command.”
“I was kidding,” I said, wondering if I was.
My talking demonic Pomeranian certainly got the room’s attention.
“I told you so!” I pointed at Peaches and then stormed upstairs to take a shower.
Chapter Seventeen
I was more or less happy to see that Peaches hadn’t eaten everyone in the room.
Later I calmed down and explained to the others what had happened on the other side. Collin stared at me like I was nuts while Glenda sat, legs and arms crossed, like she was listening to the weather.
As we discussed the implications of Balkir’s new found life as a possessor of demons, we came to the agreement that we needed to at least try to confront him. To be clear I said it was a very very bad idea, but Collin was unimpressed. If he wanted to take this case to the guild to gain full authority, he needed to see it firsthand. I suspected he still thought I was full of shit and just wanted proof so he could have me committed.
I had the little book I’d removed from the room and was studying it intently between trying to listen and trying to make points.
While the argument raged, Doc took out an old ivory pipe and went outside to smoke.
I finally gave up on the ‘I’m going alone bravado’ after ten minutes.
“Fine. If you guys want your souls roasting next to mine for eternity, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Glenda rolled her eyes. Again.
“Are you sure you actually went over the cusp. Maybe you were smoking something and all of your injuries are from falling off your fork?”
“You got me. So stick around while I go back. All of you. This is insane.”
She sniffed and crossed her arms again.
“What do you speak of?” Doc returned. He was stooped and leaned on a staff, but his eyes were bright and more alive than I felt. He would look a little bit like Gandalf if he had a long white beard and hadn’t been wearing an AC/DC shirt.
“Kicking ass in the wards,” I said.
“I’ll get my fork.” He left the room.
“You shouldn’t be going anywhere.” Glenda had her motherly face on, but with her clothing it was about as believable as a stripper channeling Shakespeare.
“Glenda, enough mothering for one day.”
“I’m not mothering. I’m just worried. I don’t know what really happened, but you clearly aren’t in your right mind.”
“I’ve never been right in the head.” I moaned and covered my aching skull with one arm.
Collin shot me a look that I couldn’t read. He looped an arm around Glenda’s shoulders and they moved a few feet away and whispered together. After a minute, they came back but Glenda didn’t look too happy.
“And I suppose you figured out how to actually get us into the ward?”
“As a matter of fact, I believe I have found a way,” I said and slipped the book back inside my pocket.
“When can you be ready?” Collin asked.
“Might as well go now. Assuming I can stand.”
Glenda and Collin both frowned at my words, so I shot them a confident smile that was sheer bluster. “This should be fun. A gathering of the callings. Two necromancers, a changer, a witch, and Mr. Grumpy Pants.”
Collin frowned.
“Let’s see how you do getting off the couch. This is such a bad idea. Look at you, Phin. You’re bruised and battered.” Glenda ignored my shot at her beau.
“Some guys pay a lot of money to feel like this,” I said and tried to get to my feet.
Glenda was not amused. I watched her carefully, convinced she was going to kick me regardless of me ending up on my ass or on my feet.
“Hand me a robe,” I said to Glenda with a winning smile.
“What do I look like? Suzy-goddamn-homemaker? It’s in the laundry room. Get it yourself. If you’re so ready to run off and fight demons, you can start by making it that far.”
“You did my laundry? That’s so sweet.”
“I did.” Doc grinned.
“I hope you went easy on the starch.”
“Come on, Glenda, give me a break here.”
She just stared.
“Always gotta do stuff the hard way,” I said and tried to get to my feet, thirsty, dizzy, floor spinning, stomach tossing, and throat clenching. Seconds later, I had made it up onto one knee. My head pounded so hard I was afraid it would give in to the pressure in my blood vessels and just explode.
I stuck my hand out for support, but even Frank backed away when Glenda cast her smoldering gaze on him.
“Fine, have it your way,” I muttered and used the couch arm to help me stand. I experienced a moment of vertigo before I took one stiff robot step and used the momentum to get my other leg moving. Walking, something I’d done for a good long while now, suddenly wasn’t so easy.
Glenda shook her head and left the room. I’ve never been so happy to see her depart.
“She still cares for you, but not in that way, you know,” Collin said.
“I can handle Glenda,” I said.
“Really? Because it’s a bad idea to get on her bad side.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. I know what she’s like.”
We both looked away for one uncomfortable moment.
“What did you say to her a minute ago?”
“I told her that I believed you. It’s crazy, but I know something happened at the school. I know Salazar’s death wasn’t a spell gone wrong. I admit that Balkir’s involvement was a shock, but I knew about the blood magic. I’ve known for a while and I looked away.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I sensed it but I didn’t pursue the matter. I assumed that if someone like Balkir was dabbling in blood magic then I needed to be blind to it. He’s just so old and has so much history. I’m barely one hundred and forty. He could burn me to a crisp without batting an eye, and that’s the truth of the matter.”
“You were scared?” I didn’t bother to mention my own brush with blood magic a few days ago.
“Not scared, respectful. What would you do if you found out that Salazar was holding midnight communes with a third ward demon?”
“Honestly? I’d probably give him a medal. Third’s a tough bunch.”
“Don’t be such a smartass.” He frowned.
“I get your point, but what you did was a mistake. If you’d said something, launched a formal investigation, maybe my mentor would be alive now.”
He looked away.
I didn’t poke him in the chest but I wanted to. Inside I felt rage, but this was not the time to get into it with Collin. The fact was that he’d messed up and now people were dead. Some head of security he had been. When all of this was over I planned to launch a formal inquiry. If I survived the next few days and wasn’t laughed out of the guild.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I said and got as far as the door into the laundry room before I reached out for a handle that wasn’t there. Luckily a hand took mine and I found myself looking at Doc. He had a firm grip, and despite his age his arms were like iron bars where they held me up.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“I made coffee.”
“I’ll take a gallon.”
“Son, can you really do all that malarkey you were talking about?”
He nodded.
“Should I whip up a few zombies?”
“It would take too long for them to traipse toward the cusp.”
Doc nodded and looked around the room.
“Guess I’ll have to settle for a classic,” he said and pulled out a revolver that was modern a hundred and fifty years ago.
“That’ll do, Doc. That’ll do.”
“Keep that up and I’ll pistol whip you into tomorrow.” He smiled.
“I’m a child of the cusp. I think it’s time you all started respecting that.”
Peaches belched brimstone and rolled on her back, legs sticking straight up in the air.
**
We were about to magically zap inside the ward, to a summoning portal that probably hadn’t been touched in centuries. There, we’d confront the most powerful demonologist ever, on his own territory. I had no doubt that we were about to get our collective asses beaten. With that in mind, I wanted to talk to one other person and ask her a favor.
I came up with a plan and then made a quick call.
Collin had been nice enough to return my chest piece from the guild. I strapped on the cold metal. The pain was immediate as the cruel metal bit into my flesh.
I spun around to find Peaches sitting in the doorway watching me get dressed. That wasn’t creepy at all.
“Thou dost seek to quest, yes? To where, might I ask, do you proceed this night?”
“Going back to the wards to stop a guy that can possess demons.”
“Thou speakest truly?” His grating voice was incredulous.
“It’s a long story. See, I’m this child of the cusp. Balkir’s turned into a complete dick. He’s now a megalomaniac demonologist in charge of a building-sized demon. When he’s done ripping the door off the cusp, he intends to wipe out the guild, to take over. Same thing I guess.”
“Blow, blow, thou winter wind
Thou art not so unkind,
As man's ingratitude.”
“Right. So that’s how my life has been over the last few days. You stayed here and ate all of my frozen hamburger then threw up and crapped all over my bedroom. Why does your shit still smell like brimstone? Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
“I will accompany thee.”
“And I suppose that as soon as you are on the other side of the cusp you’ll just hang out in dog form and not try to kill me.”
“I can be of use. Trust me. I pledged, and demons do not break their vows.”
“That has not always been my experience, Peaches.”
“I pray thee cease thy counsel,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless
as water in a sieve.”
“Fine! Just stop with the quotes,” I pleaded.
The demon panted in an almost doglike manner, except its tongue didn’t move and neither did her sides. Weirdo.
Chapter Eighteen
I headed for the backyard and grabbed my fork on the way. Doc had been kind enough to send an apprentice to pick it up by South of Heaven the night before.
Peaches groaned when I picked her up for the ride.
“Thou aren’t serious?” she croaked.
“How else did you plan to get there?”
“I shall meet you there.” And then the damn beast veered into a shadow and was gone.
I stuck around long enough to close my mouth.
I snuck into my shed and dug out an old can of Rockin’ Witch. If Glenda saw me drinking the stuff she’d never stop giving me crap. It helped restore some energy, but like an energy drink it would wear off soon and probably leave me feeling shaky. Making the running start while buzzed was a hell of a lot more fun than gimping over my backyard.
Houses were murky thanks to a low fog. Luckily I was used to flying in less than ideal conditions and found the freeway a few minutes later. Then it was just a rush to reach the city.
Here I was, a child of the cusp, about to do battle with a demon in one of the wards and I was traipsing off to meet a woman that seemed to have me wrapped around her little finger.
But I had two very good reasons: One, I needed something from her. And two, I was, indeed, wrapped around her finger.
I hit Pioneer Square and then it was almost straight down until I made a running stop a half a block from the Starbucks that Ashley worked at. I tucked my fork into the corner of a building and drew a quick glyph to hide its presence. With potions splashing and spell components clinking in little bottles, I moved toward the coffee shop.
“This is not the cusp,” Peaches said, making a reappearance.
“Stop talking. You’ll freak people out.”
“Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility,
witty without affectation, free without indecency, l
earned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.”
“Seriously?”
“Why are we here?”
“I need to see someone. Now be quiet or I’ll leave you. Maybe you’ll meet a nice Rottweiler named Spike.”
“Rottweiler sounds a delightful meal.”
I moved across a street that was coated in a light sheen of water. Oil reflected off the surface in rainbow patterns under the wan light. I avoided a broken beer bottle and then stepped onto the curb in front of Starbucks. There was a bar next to it and a party was in full swing, complete with pulsing lights and pounding music. I had the crazy urge to just go inside and drink the night away. To hell with this hero bullshit.
The store was being put back in order. A piece of plywood had been placed over two of the shattered windows, but one was still intact. Over the entryway was a huge sign that read “Open during construction.”
My stomach sank when I thought of the changer I’d chased in here and then killed. Balkir had been at work in a complex plot to kill me. Or get my blood. Or get my blood and body parts. I was still a little foggy on how deep his treachery ran.
But all of that faded to the back of my mind when I saw her.
Ashley sat, still dressed in her work clothing, with an apron draped on the table in front of her. She had a textbook open but she wasn’t paying attention to it. Instead she had her eye on the door before glancing down at her watch. It was then that I made a decision to just turn and leave. It wouldn’t be right to drag her into my plans. I could just go ahead and fly to the cusp, and if I didn’t survive then she would never have to worry about me.
Yeah. This hero bullshit had truly run its course.
“The woman you wish to lay with resides here. Is that the plan? To mate with her and then attack the demon that is below?”
“I’m not mating with her tonight, and if I don’t play it cool I’ll never mate with her again.”
But it was too late. Ashley picked that moment to look outside and meet my eyes. Then she frowned and I almost left.
Before I could make a run for it, my feet decided to start moving toward the front door.
The store was back in one piece, more or less. Huge chunks of ceiling were still covered in plastic and some wires hung down in bundles. Most of the chairs had been replaced just as the tables had.
I had a moment of vertigo when I remembered the face of the man that had died by my hand. The changer that had gone rogue and tried to kill me in the Seattle underground. I wondered what Andrews was up to since I’d gone missing. Since we’d closed the door on the mystery of the dead tourists, I hadn’t heard a word from her. That included a distinct lack of medals or payment of any sort. Then again I hadn’t exactly checked my mail in the last few days.
A barista stood behind the counter, but she didn’t pay us any attention. She had a magazine open in front of her and earphones jammed into her ears. Her head bobbed. At least Mr. Scruffy wasn’t here to scowl at me.
The coffee sh
op was working on getting the smell right. The scent of burned beans didn’t have much of a chance of overpowering the undercurrent of flames that had tried to devour the building a week ago, but it was a start.
“Oh my god.” Ashley came to her feet and took a step toward me.
“Yep. I made it, just as promised.”
“Phineas, what happened to you?”
She stood a foot away and her hand came up to brush the hair out of my face. She touched a cheek and poked my forehead. Each one hurt from the bruises, but I didn’t mind so much.
Ashley was beautiful. I thought of our night together, of our bodies intertwined, and wondered how in the hell I’d gotten so lucky. If I wanted anything like that to happen again I better watch my step.
“I went to hell, got my ass kicked. But that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to apologize, Ashley, for a few things. Please just let me.”
“Is hell a metaphor for hanging out with that detective?”
“It was just one job, and that job was the only relationship we had. Look, Ashley, I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you but I was really kind of tied up. Actually I was tied to a sacrificial table.”
That earned me a stony look.
“Why are you here, Phineas? You got what you wanted from me. Now leave me alone.”
“Ashley, it was nothing like that, and I’m sorry you got that impression. I loved our night together and want to spend more with you, or at least days. Just give me a chance.”
“A chance. Let’s see. I’m free for lunch tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow might not be good for me. I may be gone for a few days.”
Another stony look.
I decided to take a more direct route and probably get smacked upside the head. I took Ashley, who somehow still smelled like raspberries with a strong undercurrent of coffee, and folded her into an embrace.
“If you think you’re going to march in here and smile, offer me a hug, and flowers … Wait, where are the flowers?”
“I forgot.” I smiled. “The detective, she’s nothing. Really. We just worked together the one time and I think she is a nice enough person, but she carries a gun and she’s not really my type. You’re my type, Ash. You’re strong and beautiful and you study law. You’re more level headed than any woman I’ve met in years and I just want to be with you. Okay? I just want you.” I shot for the outfield.
At the Behest of the Dead Page 24
