by Jamela
“Would you hold me, please? I just need to feel your arms around me to keep me safe.” I respond. I am about to tell him I love him and he turns over and pulls me to him. He wraps me in his arms with my head on his shoulder and it feels so warm and safe. It must be how a bug feels in a cocoon. “We are a perfect fit, like a hand and custom made gloves. I feel at home and definitely safe. This is what I’ve missed since I was violated. My body was taken, but I can’t let anything else be taken from me.” As I lye there nestled securely in my husband’s arms I think about Monday. The more I think about the events, the more I realize that it must have been Jarvis. But why would he do something like this? Did he not realize there was a chance he would get caught? I don’t grasp how fast time is passing. I sit up when I hear the alarm clock in my bedroom go off. I know it’s six o’clock. Officer Woodson should have arrived at the station by now. I try to get up without waking Ed, but I don’t succeed. He pulls me to him, “Where are you going?” He says sleepily.
“I’m going to call Officer Woodson. She should have gotten to work by now. Plus I promised Xavier I would see them off to school this morning. He’s worried about me dying.” I say getting out of the bed.
“Okay, I’ll be in, in a minute.”
I walk back to my bedroom and turn off my alarm clock. Then I go into each of the boy’s bedrooms and wake them for school. Even though they can all dress themselves and fix their own breakfast, I still have to wake them up. Once I’m finished with that, I call the Police Station. “Good morning. My name is Tasha Burrows. May I speak with Officer Woodson? Thank you.” I say as I hold the line. A few moments later I hear “Good Morning, Tasha. Is everything okay?” She asks.
“Everything is fine. I remembered something that could be helpful. I think I know who did it.”
“Oh really. Who do you think it is and why?”
I give her all of the information I remembered. I tell her what he says every time he sees me. I tell her about the way he was acting when we saw him at the restaurant last night. I ask her if she had a chance to talk with him and she confirms she has.
“He said he didn’t remember seeing anything suspicious, but he would continue to think on things. I also checked with Sonny and he says the shop didn’t get any mail on Monday. So, with this information, we’ll go back to talk with Jarvis again to see what we can come up with. Thank you for calling so soon.” She says.
“I truly feel like he’s the one. I told Ed, but I’m sure he’ll let you handle it. Will you let me know what you find out?” I ask.
“Yes we will. Thanks again. You have a good day.” She says before hanging up.
I realize the boys are probably almost ready. I leave the bedroom and go into the kitchen. Sure enough, they are all sitting at the table eating frosted flakes. Ed is in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. He has three small glasses of orange juice on the counter. I walk over and give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Eric looks at me and says, “Yuck, Mommy.” Eight-year old Jonathan chimes in, “Yeah, no kissing in front of us, pleeeeease.” Ed looks at me smiling. The boys get their orange juice and drink it with their vitamins. A few minutes later, Ed ushers them out of the door to catch the bus.
I start cleaning the kitchen. Ed and I usually don’t eat breakfast. I take my vitamins and make sure Ed takes his. I tell Ed about the call to Officer Woodson. He is visibly angry. “Ed, why are you so angry?” I ask, even though I know the reason before he tells me.
“Tasha, that man walked up to us last night like he had absolutely nothing in the world to hide. He acted like he was a friend. But, now you believe he’s the one who raped you. Tahsa, if you’re right, I’m gonna kill him. But, you know what? I’m gonna play smart about it. I’m gonna wait until the Police have proof. Not because I don’t believe you, but because I don’t want there to be doubt in any one else’s mind. Tasha, how could he?” He says banging his fist on the counter.
“I know, Ed. But Officer Woodson says she’ll check it out today. So, we should know something by tomorrow afternoon at the latest. We just have to have some patience.” I say rubbing his back. He turns to me and hugs me.
**********
“Excuse me Mr., uh Carlson. We need to have a word with one of your employees. We need to speak with a Jarvis Jackson.” Officer Woodson says holding up her badge.
Mr. Carlson looks at the badge closely, inspecting it for authenticity. He looks at a schedule on his desk then stands up. “Follow me. He should be checking his truck before he heads out to his route.” Mr. Carlson says walking swiftly to a large bay area. He walks over to a truck and a man is sitting inside.
“Hello, are you Jarvis Jackson?” Officer Woodson asks.
“Yes I am. What can I help you with officer?” Jarvis says as he watches Mr. Carlson leave.
“We are continuing our investigation of the assault that occurred on your route a few days ago. Is there anything else you remember? We want to close this investigation as quickly as possible.”
“Well, I think I told you everything already. I don’t remember seeing anyone who was acting strangely or hanging around. What else would you want to know?”
“We’ll ask the questions Jarvis. What time did you finish your route on the day in question?”
“I finished it on time, why? I started the route late that day, so I finished a little later than normal.”
“We can check the records to see exactly when you made it back. We have already checked with other businesses on the route, Jarvis. They tell us you did not deliver their mail. In fact, upon further investigation we’ve discovered you were on time until you reached the businesses after Sonny’s shop. Now, is there anything you’d like to tell us?” Officer Woodson asked then waited for Jarvis to answer the questions.
Jarvis stepped out of his truck and walked over to the side motioning for the officers to follow him. They stepped inside a small room with supplies lining shelves. “Look officers I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve told you everything I can remember. I don’t know anything else. As far as why I was late, I’ve already explained that. I started late and that’s why I finished late. Besides, I don’t have a certain time to have my route done. I work at my own pace. The faster I do it, the better for me, ‘cause then I can go home. But that’s about it. Now, if you don’t have any other questions, I have a job to get back to.” He said sarcastically.
“Jarvis, we’ll need you to come down to the station with us. We have reason to believe you know more than you are telling us. If you are covering for someone, you would be wise to give them up. You aren’t doing anything but hurting them and yourself.” Officer Woodson says as she opens the door. “We’ll just take a short ride down to the station. This shouldn’t take too long and you should be back soon to do your job.” She sarcastically says.
Officer Peet notifies Mr. Carlson of the new development once Jarvis is secured in the squad car. They drive to the station and put Jarvis in the first available interrogation room. Woodson calls Tasha and asks her to come to the station. She will be putting someone in a lineup and wants to know if she will try to pick out her attacker. Tasha is excited to hear this news and confirms a time with the officer. She hangs up the phone and tells Ed about the call. They get their things together and drive to the Police station. When they arrive, Tasha is noticeably shaken. She and Ed walk inside and ask for officer Woodson. They take a seat to wait on the officer to come out.
“Good morning Tasha, Ed. I’m sorry to have called so early, but we want to get this underway as soon as possible. Let’s go in here to discuss a few things.” She says leading them into a small room.
“Now, Tasha, I want you to know we went by to talk with the mailman who delivers at Sonny’s World. He was unable to give us any new information. However, we would like for you to view a lineup and try to pick out your attacker. I know you didn’t see facial features, scars or anything substantial, really. But you did hear a voice. So, we are going to put five men in a room behind a glass.
You will be able to see them, but they will not be able to see you. They will have masks on. We will have them say one of the lines your attacker used, first with helium and then without it. Hopefully this will be able to help you and us in the investigation. Do you think you can do this for us?”
“Yeah. I can do it as long as Ed is beside me. How long will we be here? I want to be at home when the children arrive home from school.” Tasha says in concern.
“We should be finished in about an hour. We are prepping the men as we speak. Now if you will excuse me.” She says rising to leave.
After officer Woodson leaves the room, Ed walks over to Tasha and hugs her. “Are you sure you are up for this? I mean, if you don’t want to do this, we can come back another time.”
“No. I’m fine with it. Anything I can do to help, I’m gonna do. Besides, I wanna get this over with so I can get on with my life. I don’t wanna be afraid because this guy is still out there. I wanna be able to live my life. I just don’t wanna….” She says and chokes.
“Tasha, whatever you wanna do it fine with me. I just don’t want you to have to do something against your wishes. I’m just concerned about you. You are the most important thing to me. I hate that I can’t do more.” Ed says holding me.
**********
“Okay Jarvis. Here is what we’re gonna do. You are going to help us out by being in a lineup. We feel you are more involved than you have led us to believe. So, you’re gonna inhale some helium and say a line for us. It’s not hard and I know you can do it. Now, let’s go.” Woodson says grabbing Jarvis by the back of his shirt.
She pushes him down the hall into a lighted room. There are four other men standing there. The men stand in a line. They are given masks to put on. They are given instructions as to what they will have to do. Officer Woodson leaves the room.
A voice comes over the intercom, “Number 1, please step forward, inhale the helium from the balloon and repeat the lines, “How is the talented lady doing today. Sonny should know better than this.”
Number 1 steps forward and does as instructed. Number two follows the same instructions. Number three steps forward and says, “This is a bunch of bull!”
“We don’t need your comments number 3. Just inhale the helium and repeat the lines. We don’t have all day.” Officer Woodson says.
Number three finally does as he’s instructed. Number four follows suit and finally number five does as all the rest have done. Officer Woodson looks at Tasha. She is staring at the men in the other room. “Tasha, is there anything familiar about the movements or voice of any of these men.”
“Yeah, a little. Can you have them repeat the line, without the helium?”
“Anyone in particular?”
“Yes. Number three, please.”
“Number three, please repeat the following, “How is our talented lady doing today? Sonny should know better than this.”
Number three steps forward and begins to repeat the line. Before he can finish Tasha pulls on officer Woodson’s arm. “I think that’s him. It sounds just like the man! I’ll never forget his voice.” She franticly says. Ed grabs her and pulls her to him. “Tasha, it’ll be okay. Officer, what do we do now?”
“We get some samples from this guy and see if they match the samples taken from Tasha. There wasn’t much to collect. He was very careful. But we did get a little from the rape kit. We will call you as soon as we have the results.”
“How long will it take to get the results?” Ed wants to know.
“We have a new lab here, so it will be in the next week. We don’t have to send things to the crime lab anymore. So, within the next week, you should be getting a call from me.” She says ushering them to the door. “Now, let’s get you out of here. I’m sure it must be depressing.”
We leave the station. On the drive home, we discuss the possible changes to our lives because of the attack. I tell Ed I’m afraid to be in a building alone, including my own house. Ed assures me I don’t have to be until I’m ready. We stop at the store to get something for dinner. Since cooking relaxes me, I buy a lot of groceries. Ed knows the only good thing that will come out of this violent assault on my personal space is all the food I’ll cook. So he indulges me in allowing me to get anything I want at the store. When we are finally finished checking out, we’ve spent almost five hundred dollars in groceries. There three buggies full of food. On the drive home, Ed is trying to figure out where we’re gonna put all of it.
We finally arrive at the house and it takes him thirty minutes just to unload the car. As he does this, I begin to put the food away. To Ed’s surprise, I actually find a place for everything and it only takes me a little over an hour to do it.
“I can’t believe it, you got all of the food put away. These cabinets and the freezer are stuffed. We shouldn’t need to go back to the store for a couple of months with all of this food. We are abo0ut to have some good food!” He says in excitement.
The rest of the day progresses along and we do not discuss what happened at the station. The boys will never be told about all of this. We will just have to find a way to get around it. Once the boys are older, if they ask questions then we can find a way to answer them.
I cook lunch for both of us and sit down to enjoy it together. A couple of hours later, the boys start coming in from school. I’m in the kitchen doing my thing. I never plan a menu, I just start cooking. I feel at home in the kitchen. As I look in the freezer, I start pulling out veggies and meat. I put on a pot of lima beans. I take a pot roast out and wash it, then season it. I place it ion the oven for a long slow cook, because I want it to be very tender. When it is ¾ of the way done, then I’ll add my potatoes, green beans, carrots and onions to the pan.
I know that I will be making a backed macroni and cheese later, but I don’t want to cook it too early since it only needs about 30 minutes in the oven. I’m also going to make some cornbread, but that won’t take long either once it’s mixed up.
Since my mother who cooks like an old woman, she taught me to never make anything the easy way. She said to cook everything from scratch. So, by the time I finished cooking, I’m tired tired. The family eats, and since I’ve been cooking all day, they clean the kitchen and send me to my bedroom. After resting for a few hours, I go check on the boys. Everyone has finished his homework and Ed has already checked it. But of course, they want me to look it over. Once I finish with that, I make sure everyone lays out their clothes for school the next day then goes back to my room.
I sit on the bed thinking about the day’s events. The lineup is central on my mind. “What if I’m wrong? What if I made a mistake and accused the wrong person. It will mess up the man’s life and it will be my fault. But I can’t be wrong. The man in the lineup sounded just like the person who attacked me. God, if you can hear me, please answer this prayer. I know I don’t come to you very often, but I really need this. I’m so lost and I don’t know how to get through this. Please help me. Please help my family to survive this. Give Ed the strength to put up with me until I can get back to normal. But most of all God, please help the police to catch the person who did this. Please don’t let them get away with this and please don’t let him do this to anyone else. Please hear me, God. In Jesus’name, Amen.”
I sit on the bed with folded hands and closed eyes. I’m overwhelmed as to the events of my life over the last week. But, I’ve given it to God and there is nothing else I can do about it. I’ve done everything I can here on earth, the rest is up to him. “Oh, and God, please let the lab results come back tomorrow. The sooner we know the better. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” I pull the covers back and slip under them.
I turn onto my side to get ready to fall asleep and there is no sleep to come. “What will I cook for dinner tomorrow? I wonder if Ed will mind me sleeping with him again tonight? Did I wash all of the dirty clothes? What is my 10th grade English teacher’s name? I wonder if she’s still teaching? Maybe I’ll start painting again. Did I set the alarm clock?�
� I reach over to check and find that I did. I settle back into bed. “Should I let my mother come for a visit? Is she going to notice the change? Could Ed and I fake it while she’s here? Did I buy enough ground meat for a meatloaf? I don’t remember getting green onions yesterday. I hope Ed won’t be upset when I ask him to work at home again next week. Or maybe we can find someone to come over during the day to stay with me. I wonder how much that costs? Oh, God, please help me to clear my head so I can go to sleep.”
I finally sit up in bed. I throw the covers back, walk over and open the bedroom door and pad down the hall to the guest bedroom. I knock on the door. “Come in.” Says Ed. He looks at me and smiles. I walk over to him and he throws the covers back on the other side of the bed. I climb in and realize he knew I’d be coming. I’m glad he knows me so well. I curl up next to him and he wraps his big strong arms around me. I finally feel safe and my mind is clear. I don’t remember Ed turning out the light. The next thing I know, it’s morning and the alarm is waking me. I must have slept like a log. I actually feel good.
I get up, go to our bedroom and shut of the alarm clock. I walk to the boy’s bedrooms to make sure each of them is awake. Once I’m done, I come back and sit on the bed beside Ed. “Honey, I have a favor to ask. I hope you won’t mind doing it. But it will be a big help.”
