by Adams, Anna
“I intend to, but have a little faith. I’m not an idiot, and I believe there’s worse to Eric than we’ve seen so far. I’ll make him confess, but I won’t let up on any protection I can offer you.”
Noah couldn’t blame him for wanting to solve the crime committed in his own backyard. “Thanks. And you’ll let us know what you get out of Sanders?”
“I’ll call you as soon as he confesses.”
“Why weren’t you keeping a better eye on him? He’s been stalking Tessa.”
“You know the law. I couldn’t act until he did something overt.” The chief stepped into a fresh batch of swirling snow, but looked back. “I thought he was just a nut I’d inherited from Sheriff Patterson, one more problem, like the way Patterson handled the Joanna Howard case.”
Noah eyed him closely. “What about Joanna Howard?”
After spreading hints like election posters for three days, Weldon suddenly clammed up. Tom put on a poker face. At last, Weldon shrugged.
“She was high when she drove into that telephone pole. I have no real proof except the rumor of an altered autopsy report and a gut feeling that my predecessor was forced to resign because he’d gone along with David Howard’s plan to keep his wife’s drug use a secret.”
“Gut feeling?” Noah doubted the other man’s suspicions.
“You never follow your gut?”
He trusted his more than he trusted Weldon’s. “That’s not enough to convict, either. Have you investigated at all?”
“I called a dealer Mr. Howard defended. He swears he’s cleaned up, doesn’t know anything about Mrs. Howard’s habits.” Weldon turned away.
Tom paused to shake Noah’s hand before following his superior. Noah watched the two police officers head for their cars.
“Weldon, what does your gut tell you about Eric?”
“It doesn’t make sense that a town this small could hatch a murderer and a deviant at the same time.”
He was right, but maybe Eric and the real killer, if he wasn’t the one, hadn’t thought to time their crimes.
Noah swore. He’d give a lot for five minutes with the pervert who’d stolen his wife’s underwear.
THAT NIGHT, Tessa prodded the fire dying on the hearth. One charred log broke apart, spraying sparks and flame. From the floor above, footsteps and soft thudding told of her makeshift family settling in for bed. She glanced nervously toward Noah’s room, noting faint smoke stains on the blue-and-white delft tiles that surrounded the fireplace.
Noah wasn’t part of her family, but he seemed to be planting himself here. Those reckless moments in the restaurant replayed themselves in her head, a swift, terrifying movie that almost felt as if it had happened to someone else.
They’d come closer to each other in those few crowded moments than they’d managed in a shared home in a shared bed in the months between their daughter’s death and the day she’d told Noah she was leaving. Why had they taken so long to talk?
She rubbed her forehead. Why start working at their relationship now? What were they salvaging?
Since Noah and the Worths had moved into her life, she’d realized how alone she was. And when she stopped to think of what it meant to raise a child by herself, she still wondered if she was up to the job.
Single women had been parents long before she’d found herself taking a crack at it. And she had to consider Maggie before she made any reckless decisions with Noah.
He’d come to Prodigal now because she’d asked him. He’d helped her, and if Eric Sanders was the killer, it was time for him to leave.
She just wanted to know, before she let him go, why they’d failed so badly at their marriage. She’d pretended for a year that her marriage was completely in her past, but she couldn’t keep it there.
Tessa swallowed, pressing both hands against the hearth tiles. She could march up those stairs, knock on Noah’s door and talk to him about the reconciliation that had been on the tip of her tongue in the restaurant.
Or she could hide down here and pretend nothing had changed between them. Send Noah back to Boston and the job that still felt like an adversary.
She picked up a fresh log and then shoved it onto the dying embers. For the past eighteen months she’d told herself Noah had deserted her before she’d left him. The story had justified her actions, but she refused to lie to herself or to make him look less caring than he was. If she hadn’t mattered to him, he would never have come to Prodigal.
A familiar, uncertain, needling voice whispered from the depths of doubt she’d held about her own worth since childhood. Maybe Noah’s guilt had driven him this afternoon. She hated the idea of him thinking he owed her.
Overhead, he opened his door. And stopped. As if he wasn’t sure what to do next. She knew exactly how he felt. She didn’t want to hurt him again, and she didn’t want to expose herself to being hurt. And then there was Maggie, who still missed her “Da.”
Noah started down the stairs and Tessa released a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. If he could face her, she’d make herself face him.
With honesty.
He was three steps down before she saw him, his black hair damp, his hawkish face drawn tight with the same apprehension that clenched her stomach.
“Is Maggie asleep?”
“In my room,” she said.
“Eleanor and Joe?”
“They wanted an early night.”
He nodded, his relief palpable and comforting. “Are you still up for a talk?” he asked, the expression in his eyes making him more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him.
“I’m not sure we should.” Clasping her hands behind her because she couldn’t stop them from shaking, she turned her back to the fire. “We’re both looking for a second chance.”
He kept coming. “Would that be wrong?”
She tried to be careful. “If we’re making decisions because we’re both getting attached to Maggie, and we both think she and I might be in danger, it’s wrong.”
He studied her as if she were a suspect. Suddenly he crossed the room in four long strides, reaching her before she took a full breath.
“I can’t give up on you again,” he said. “Ever since Weldon left, I’ve been seeing what might have happened if you’d stumbled in on Eric in David’s office.”
She just couldn’t see Eric as the killer type. “I still don’t think—let’s not borrow that trouble. The outside world apart, what do you see us saying to each other to make our past right?” She slipped her fingertips inside her back pockets. The better to keep her hands off her ex-husband.
Noah looked down at her, his eyes darker than any coals in the fire. The slope of his full lower lip reminded her how good he was to kiss, but then tension drew his mouth tight.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “First I’d say I’m sorry for pushing you away.” Easing closer, he crowded her.
She borrowed some of his courage and made it her own, relaxing her hands at her sides. “I’m starting to think we’ve apologized enough.”
“Tessa.” Her name became a prayer. He ran his index finger along the fall of her hair, following its path with his dark gaze until he reached her neck. Her heartbeat combined with his pulse, and both seemed to race beneath her skin. “I never meant to hurt you.” His warm breath brushed the strands of her hair.
“I left you.” Until tonight, she’d always insisted she’d left because of him. “I gave up first.”
A faint smile turned him back into the Noah she knew, the man she’d loved before they’d lost Keely. “Thanks for trying to let me off the hook, but we both know you told me you were leaving long before you went.”
She leaned her face against the fingers that still rested on her throat. “I always wondered why you didn’t notice.”
He slid his hand to her shoulder, his gaze catching hers as his thumb probed the hollow of her collarbone. “I noticed, and I missed you. I should have told you how much I missed you instead of signing those damn divorce papers
.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have sent them.” A short breath escaped her. “I was angry that you didn’t come after me, but I should have talked to you before I filed. What would you have said if I’d asked you for the divorce?”
“Back then, I don’t know. I wasn’t capable of rational thought for a while.” He leaned down until his lips moved against her forehead with each word he spoke. “But if I had it to do over now, I’d try to explain. Work is safer than actually making an effort to live with someone I couldn’t stand to lose. And I lost almost everyone who mattered to me.”
His husky voice and his closeness confused her with images that flashed before her eyes, the rise and fall of muscles in his hip and leg when he bent over her, the up and down of his chest as he breathed beneath her, the perfect fit of his lean, long body to hers.
“You make it sound as if you’re cursed, but your mother’s fine. And I’m okay.”
“I don’t believe in curses.” He pressed his mouth to her temple. She couldn’t mistake his intent or the sweet pressure that began to build in her at such innocent contact. “But I wonder if I’m allowed to love. My father was my favorite.” He broke off. “I’ve never admitted that to anyone. He was always so tall, Tessa, and to a boy, such a tall man looked powerful. I had to look up at him. He looked strong without trying, and he never made mistakes. He was my hero. My mom was scattered, and she didn’t seem to notice she had that crazy Einstein hair. Or that no one ever saw red like that in nature. She dressed like an MTV queen, and my friends made fun of me when they saw her. I felt guilty because it was easier to love my dad.”
“Easier,” Tessa said. “But you love her. I know how much you love her, and she knows, too.”
Noah caught her face between his hands. “You’re sidetracking me when we should be talking about us. I’ve distanced myself from my mom and from you because I’m terrified of losing you both. I’d give anything to bring Keely back, but after she died, I knew I wouldn’t survive if something took you away from me, too.” He grimaced, and the lines that scored his face hurt her terribly. “I thought I could keep you both safe if I didn’t show you how much you meant to me. As if I could fool the curse I don’t believe in.”
Tessa closed her eyes. She couldn’t judge his actions. She’d made mistakes of her own. “I’m familiar with curses. I thought I lost Keely because I had a moment’s misgiving when I got pregnant. Instead of fighting to stay together, you and I got scared and lost each other.”
“Maybe temporarily,” he said. “Weren’t we bargaining for safety?”
“Protecting ourselves?”
“I think so.” His thick tone worked strange magic on her. He moved closer in a dance that made her fully aware of his body and the need he no longer bothered to hide. “What do you think, Tessa?”
How could she think with his smell, familiar and yet indefinably different—more precious because she’d gone without him for so long—filling her senses? “I agree I’d rather give something up than have it taken from me, but I don’t want to be the kind of frightened woman who could half kill us both with a bad bargain.”
“I suspect I dealt first.” He kissed her other temple, his lips lingering, teasing.
The touch of his mouth made her feel hollow inside. Needing to be closer, she curved her hands around his hips. The texture of his rough denim jeans anchored her to reality. If she didn’t stop soon, her body would be making this decision.
“Stay with me,” Noah’s lips brushed her ear. “Let me try again. Let me be the man you need.”
His voice sang in her head, defeating caution.
She’d managed to take Maggie into her life and into her heart. Why couldn’t she consider a future with Noah if they both wanted it? “Why would this time be different?”
“This time we’d take care of each other.”
Pain caught her by surprise. How many nights had she clung to him, wordless with grief, until she’d realized he couldn’t comfort her?
“Maggie deserves stability.”
“I’m serious about trying again, and I’ll do what it takes to fix what went wrong between us before. I’m not looking to make any more regret.”
A nuance of their failure seemed to have escaped him. “What happened between us wasn’t all your fault, and you can’t fix our relationship all by yourself, either. We’d have to learn to live together again. With Maggie.”
Hope lightened his gaze. He traced the line of her rib cage as if he were relearning her. “Tell me what you’re willing to do.”
“We live in different states.” And she’d already started over once.
Pulling her so close she had to time her breathing with his, he shook his head, and his chin brushed her hair. “That’s easy. Come home.”
She pressed her hands to his chest. “I have a firm to run and a child to support. Maggie’s grandparents are here. You could move.”
He went utterly still. “And my job?”
She shifted her glance from his. “I know Prodigal isn’t Boston, and your job was always the one that came first in our family, but I owe David a family for Maggie. Maine needs policemen, too.”
He laughed, but she wasn’t joking. “And what about Weldon, Tessa? Should I take over his job as the local law?”
“Just come to Maine. Somewhere, a position would open for you. I’m not even sure I could live in Boston again. I left because of the memories.” She cut herself short, light-headed. He was part of those memories she’d fled. “Are we really talking about a reconciliation?”
“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t sure.” Lowering his head, he took possession of her mouth, and she took from him in equal measure. He tasted of the past, but he made her believe in the future.
He slid his hands down her shoulders, following the curve of her breasts. She ached with need. Loving habits were hard to break. It was her last thought as she set fire to the walls she’d built between them.
CHAPTER TEN
“WHAT ABOUT MAGGIE?” Tessa fumbled for the words in a haze of desire that almost made her forget she was committing more than herself to Noah.
When he lifted his head to look at her, his pupils were large and round, and he didn’t look as if he’d understood the question. Or maybe even English.
She smiled, her faith in him inching back. He wanted her, and he knew she came with a baby now.
“I’ll be her second father if you’ll both have me.” He kissed the corner of her mouth, but then his gaze grew hard as if he were remembering the circumstances that had brought them here. “Not that she has much choice.”
“Don’t think about work.” The last thing Tessa wanted to talk about now was murder. “I’m asking you if you can love her as much as you loved Keely.”
“I’ll learn. You’re learning. I can.”
She’d prefer wholehearted acceptance—love that already startled him with its intensity as it did her, but Maggie would make Noah love her, too.
He pushed her hair back from her forehead and then kissed the skin he’d exposed. “I thought of Maggie, Tessa.”
She pressed her head against his chin. “I should go check on her.”
“Now?” He pulled away, doubt narrowing his eyes. “Are you running away from me?”
She twisted her head from side to side, as awkward as the shy, uncertain virgin she’d been when she’d met him. What came next? Was he asking her to make love with him, or was he asking her to consider the possibilities? The physical commitment came hard for her, because she’d never made it without knowing she was in the relationship for the long haul. And that had been with Noah.
“I won’t back down unless you tell me we’re making a mistake.” She held his gaze. “But I trust you’ll talk to me this time if that happens.”
“I don’t want to make the same mistakes. I don’t want to lose you again.”
Her heart pounded like a jackhammer. Her legs felt infused with jelly. She longed to wrap herself in Noah’s arms, but she
still didn’t know what he wanted for tonight, and she didn’t know how to ask. She started for the stairs.
“Tessa.”
At his bewildered tone, she turned, too relieved to hide the joy that felt as if it were shooting from her body. “Yes?”
“When I asked you to stay with me, I meant starting now.” He looked as doubtful as she felt. God, they’d been hard on each other. Noah without self-confidence was a horrific sight to behold.
“Tonight?” she asked, letting herself believe.
“Yes, but you should get Maggie’s monitor.”
“I will.” She was glad Noah had thought of it. “I’d like to take a shower, too. I could come to your room after.”
“We could share a shower.”
Heat raced up her throat and across her cheekbones. They’d never bathed together. In their most passionate moments, she’d momentarily managed to forget she was the short, round disappointment whose mother had surprised her with fad diets. But tonight she was too nervous to feel that kind of passion.
“Maybe we could try that sometime.” She tried to sound casual while she fought a stray fear that he’d confused her with some other more fashionably thin, daring woman he’d met after she’d left Boston.
“You look scared, Tessa.” Crossing the room, he gently grasped her upper arms. His gaze apologized as if he’d done something wrong. “I don’t want to force you to sleep with me if you need time to be sure.”
This more perspicacious version of Noah reminded her she’d hurt him, too. “I’m positive.” She tiptoed to kiss him. Immediately he cupped her head, and she opened his mouth with hers. The sound he made, deep in his throat, excited her. She traced the straight line of his teeth with her tongue, wanting more, needing more of him.
She splayed her fingers across his chin, rubbing his lower lip with her thumb. He nipped her with gentle teeth, and she shivered, pressing closer, nestling his arousal against the softness of her belly. But when she shivered at so much power, just for her, he slid his hands down her waist and set her away from him. After he let her go, she felt cold.
