"The one from—from last night? The one that I—"
"Yes," I interrupted. "Who's the OB attending tonight?"
He groaned as if I'd punched him in the gut. "Zellers but she just scrubbed in with preterm twins," he said. "She has four residents. Two of them are handling unremarkable deliveries. Two of them can't tell an elbow from an asshole. I wouldn't let those two give me a flu shot."
"Do me a favor and don't page those two," I said. "Who else is on?"
"Me and Northcutt," Stremmel said, "but he's in the OR, setting a broken hip. Icy sidewalks are a real problem out here, huh?"
"You're right about that," I murmured.
"Ten minutes," the Commodore called.
I glanced up as the city skyline came into view. "Did you hear that?"
He murmured in agreement and I heard him ask someone nearby to prepare a room for delivery and call an obstetrics resident. "We'll be ready. I'll meet you outside," Stremmel said. "Hold up. Is her husband going to kill me?"
I studied Will for a second, his eyes trained on Shannon while she strangled the shit out of his hands. "It's anyone's guess but I'd suggest you proceed with an abundance of caution."
"Got it," he replied.
I ended the call and met Judy's gaze over Shannon's head. Her lips were folded in a tight line, and it was obvious that she knew we were running out of time.
"You're doing great, Shannon," I said.
"I don't need a gold star right now, Nick," she replied. "I'm having a baby on Christmas, my husband has a fully armed battalion at the hospital—"
"If Shaw ever answers his damn phone," Will muttered.
"—and I didn't get any pie," Shannon said. "I wanted some pie."
"I'll save you plenty of pie," the Commodore called. "We'll restart our late night diapers and desserts routine."
"I know how you are about pie," she replied. "I don't know that you have it in you to resist temptation."
He laughed as he merged onto Leverett Circle, weaving through traffic as if he was playing Grand Theft Auto. "For you, my dear, I can be good," he said. "I won't touch the cranberry apple or the chocolate cream."
We pulled into the ambulance bay, the tires screeching as we came to a stop. Stremmel waited on the curb, his hands shoved into the pockets of his lab coat and his shoulders hunched against the blowing snow.
Will burst from the vehicle and opened my door, shoving me out of the way as he reached for Shannon. "I'm sorry about everything I said, Peanut. I didn't mean any of it."
"Don't start lying to me now," she said, her arms around his neck and her face pressed to his chest.
He scooped her up and held her close, whispering into her hair as he marched ahead. Then he spotted Stremmel.
"Not this fucking guy," Will said with a groan.
"I'm probably the last person you want to see," Stremmel said as he steered Will toward the nurses and residents waiting inside the doors with a gurney
"Too right," Will replied.
"We don't have time to argue about it, Will," I said as the automatic doors whooshed open. "I wouldn't have called Stremmel if I didn't trust him."
"That doesn't make me feel any better," Will grumbled. He set Shannon on the gurney, and we jogged toward an enclosed treatment room.
"It's worth noting that I've delivered hundreds of babies," I added. "I know what I'm doing. Between me and Stremmel, we've got this covered."
The team descended on Shannon, running intravenous lines and securing a fetal heart monitor while Judy coached her through another contraction.
"I'm having trouble believing that you and"—he pointed at Stremmel—"this fucking guy are our options right now. In this entire hospital, the best options are the guy who tried to pick up my wife last night and you?"
"Fully dilated," the resident announced. "Fully effaced."
"What did I do?" I asked, snapping on a pair of gloves.
"I don't know but I'm not happy about it," Will replied.
"I know you're having a dude standoff and it would be thoroughly entertaining on any other occasion," Shannon said. "But I need to push and if you don't shut up, I will castrate every last one of you and then carry your balls in a pretty little jar."
"You heard her," Stremmel said as a nurse helped him into a surgical gown. "This is Shannon's show. If you can't follow her rules, I'll have you removed." He turned to Shannon. "It's time to meet your baby."
* * *
I tore off my surgical gown and dropped it in the soiled linens bin before heading toward the waiting room. Everyone was there, and they were fighting over desserts. A small table was covered with an assortment of goodies, and Andy was loading up paper plates to appease the grabby hands around her.
Erin, my little lovely, was picking at a brownie while Matt and Patrick carried on an animated conversation beside her. I watched for a minute, smiling when she sensed my gaze and glanced up. I beckoned her closer, needing a moment with her before sharing the good news with everyone.
She handed her plate to Patrick—who went on arguing with Matt while demolishing the brownie—and moved toward me. We ducked around the corner, out of sight. I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my lips to her forehead as she melted into me.
"Is she all right?" Erin asked.
"Mother and baby are doing well," I said. "I'm still a little rattled. There were a few minutes where I thought we'd meet her on the Tobin Bridge."
"How's Will? Did he survive the ordeal?" she asked around a laugh.
"It was touch-and-go with him," I replied, "especially when he realized Stremmel was handling the delivery. He's resting comfortably now and Stremmel is relatively unscathed."
Erin ran her hands up my flanks and over my shoulders, and I responded by backing her further into the corner. "Can I tell you a secret?" she whispered, glancing up at me with those green green green eyes.
I flattened my hands on wall and ducked down to kiss her. She tasted like chocolate and secrets, and I ached for her. With my lips brushing the corner of her mouth, I whispered, "Always."
"I want to make some changes," she said, dipping her chin as she spoke.
My lips found hers again and I murmured, "Okay."
"I want to travel less frequently," she continued.
"Okay," I repeated. "I won't fight you on that."
"And I want a baby," she added.
Without conscious thought, I shifted closer, trapping her hips against mine. My heart was in my throat and it took a full minute to find words. "In theory?" I asked. "Or practice?"
"Practice," she replied, the word breaking into a moan as I rocked against her. "Not right now. Not tonight."
"If not tonight," I teased, "tomorrow?"
She squeezed my shoulders and I was half hard. "Maybe in the next year, or the year after."
"What about your field work?" I asked.
"I have an expedition on my schedule for October," she said, "but nothing after that. I've passed several studies onto research fellows."
"You'll go into withdrawal without field work," I said.
She turned her gaze to my shirt, shaking her head as she scowled at my buttons. "I would've agreed with that statement six months ago," she said. "But now? I'm not sure. I realized while I was in the Solomons that I've visited almost every corner of this planet. I've seen every extreme earth has to offer and—and I'm not sure I need continue seeking out those extremes. Not all the time. I have a lab and a data team now. I can devote more of my time writing and advocating for policy change. I want to give that a try."
"You've been thinking about this," I said. "You've worked it all out."
"Close to it." She shrugged. "I had to make sense of it for myself first. Before I met you, I never thought I was meant for marriage and kids. Never thought I could manage either. Never thought I wanted them. But now I know that I decide what I'm meant for, and I know you want us to start a family—"
I grabbed the waist of her jeans and flipped the button open with
my thumb while she yelped. "Say the word and I'll put a baby in your right now, darlin'," I growled.
"You heard what I said about waiting a year or two, right?"
"I did," I replied, stroking the tender skin below her belly button.
"Are you worried that you won't remember the process?"
"Bite your tongue," I said. "No, Erin, I—" The words lodged in my throat. I always knew we'd find ourselves at this point. I knew we'd share a home, a name, a life. But that didn't make it any less remarkable when I realized we were already there. "I love you."
"I love you too," she replied.
"Care to visit an on-call room with me?" I asked. "You'll really love me after ten minutes in a windowless room."
"As much as I appreciate that offer, I want to meet my niece," she said, laughing.
I didn't share an ounce of her humor. I was estimating the number of steps to the closest on-call room.
"Stop growling at me," she said, swatting my arm. "I promise, this will work in your favor. Five minutes with that little munchkin and I'll be delirious with baby fever."
I kissed her hard, hard enough to leave her breathless. "I'm holding you to that," I said as I leaned back to adjust my cock. "Come on then. We have a baby to meet."
Chapter Fifteen
Shannon
"Annabelle," I said as I arranged the toque on her head. "Annabelle Erin."
Will murmured in agreement and pressed his lips to the crown of my head. I was sure my hair was sweaty and gross, and I was also sure Will didn't care.
"Annabelle is just precious," Judy cooed from the other side of the room. She was digging through my bag for the muslin blanket I'd packed.
"You're amazing," Will whispered. He brought his hand to rest on Annabelle's back. "I can't even comprehend your strength, Peanut."
Judy appeared at my side and tucked some loose strands over my ear. "What do you need, sweetheart? What can I do for you?"
Tears filled my eyes when I realized Judy couldn't give me the one thing I needed. "I want my mom," I said through a sob.
"I know," she said.
"It's not fair," I said.
"Not at all," she replied through her own tears. "I'm so sorry she's not here, sweetheart. She'd be proud of you, of the woman you've become. I know I'll never fill that void but I'm going to do the best I can for you."
"I couldn't do this without you," I said. "Thank you for being here. For everything."
"It is my pleasure, Shannon," she said, thumbing tears off my cheeks. "I'll always be here for you. You're one of mine, and that's never going to change."
I shook my head, too overcome with the adrenaline crash and rush of hormones to make words from my emotions. The tears spilled over and streaked down my cheeks. They poured out, out, out while Will whispered things I couldn't process but didn't think I'd ever forget.
Judy squeezed my hand and brought my head to her shoulder. "I know, sweetheart," she said. "I know."
I believed that. She knew, even though I couldn't put any of it into words. It didn't matter that Judy had only been in my life a few short years. She was the adult in the room when I needed one, the woman who answered every one of my crazy pregnancy questions and loved me like one of her own. She was the one who held me while I gave birth to my babies, who was the strength when I ran out of my own.
There was a quick knock at the door and Stremmel stepped in. "You have a small mob waiting outside," he said. "They're getting a little rowdy."
"Is Riley mixing drinks?" I asked. I was trying to laugh but only ended up crying harder.
Stremmel glanced over his shoulder and then back at us. "I don't know," he said, his impatience obvious. "I can send them in or send them home, but I'm not letting them hang out in my ER much longer."
I sniffled and asked, "Is my sister here?"
"Which one is that?" Stremmel asked.
Will sighed. "The other redhead," he said.
Judy kissed my temple and squeezed my hand again. "I'll go get her," she said. "We'll give the others a few minutes to simmer down, okay?"
"Can you check on Abby, too?" I asked. Goddamn these tears. They didn't stop. "I just want to make sure she's asleep and she's not too confused, and tell her we'll be home tomorrow—"
"No, Peanut," Will said. "That's not accurate."
"Are you sure?" Stremmel interrupted, swiping at his tablet. "Vaginal births are usually—"
"Don't say vaginal around my wife," Will snapped. "Just fuckin' don't. Thank you for delivering this perfect little girl and taking great care of my wife, but I haven't reconciled the fact you hit on her last night and then, you know—"
Stremmel cut him off with an irritable wave. "Yeah, all right," he murmured. "Anyway, I'd like you to stay at least twenty-four hours."
"I am going home whenever the fuck I'm ready to go home, and neither of you will bossy-penis me," I whisper-yelled over Annabelle's head. "I've had enough bossy-penis today, thank you."
Stremmel tucked his tablet under his arm, nodding. "Understood," he replied. He ducked his head and stared at his sneakers for a long beat. "Sorry about last night."
"Mmhmm," Will growled beside me.
"You're fine," I said. Still crying. "It was incredibly flattering." "My husband had quite a bit to say about it afterward. We had an extensive conversation."
I shot a smile in Will's direction, a quiet reminder of the hour he spent between my legs while he made damn sure I knew how he felt about Stremmel's comments.
"For fuck's sake, Shannon," Will said.
"You did most of the talking," I said to Will, chuckling through my tears.
Judy cleared her throat. "Oh, my," she said. "I'll just go grab Erin and then I'll check on Miss Abigael. I'm sure she's doing well. I know Sam and Tiel are holding down the fort. She's probably tickled to have a sleepover with her cousin."
Stremmel glowered at his tablet. "Doctor Zellers will be taking over your case from here. We'll get you into a patient room, and she'll drop in as soon as she's available," he said. He checked the IV line on my hand and glanced down at Annabelle. "She's a cute kid."
"That's the only way we make them," I said.
He stared at Annabelle and I noticed the glimmers of a smile pulling at his lips. It was gone as quickly as it appeared. "I have patients to see," he said. "Press the call button if you need anything."
Stremmel left the room, and Will wrapped me and Annabelle up in his arms. He held me tight while tears continued rolling down my cheeks.
The last time I had a baby, I cried because my sister came home. I didn't understand why I was crying now—other than being buried under a landslide of hormones—or how to make it stop. I had every emotion hitting me at once.
Joy for my healthy baby girl.
Love for her, and Will and Abby.
Sadness that I was experiencing another milestone without my mother.
Fear that I wouldn't be able to manage two children, a job, a marriage, my family. That I wouldn't be good enough.
Regret that I hadn't spent more one-on-one time with Abby before her sister arrived.
Shock that I'd found the one man who didn't hesitate to argue with me while I gave birth to his child.
Hope that, despite my previous assertions, I'd have several more blonde babies with that man.
All of it surrounded me, and every time I sensed myself reaching the end, a new torrent knocked me sideways.
He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine, quick and sweet like a tiny promise. "I don't know how you do it," he said. "I don't know how you give all of yourself to everyone. Your brothers, your babies, me. You do it, and you ask nothing in return. None of us deserve you, Shannon."
"Is that why snipers and covert agents have the building surrounded?"
"It's one of the many reasons," he replied with a laugh. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep my girls safe. That's never going to change."
Another wave of emotion washed over me. It was a complicated mixture of
rage and relief. As much as I pushed back on Will's caution and concern, I never doubted that he would guard my babies with his life. He'd do the same for me, too. And that was where the rage came in. My father betrayed me in a way I'd never reconcile. He stole parts of me I'd never reclaim. No one kept me safe, no one protected me.
"You're the best father." I was a bawling, blubbering mess, and Will knew it. He plucked Annabelle's hat from her head and mopped my tears with it. "I'm happy you didn't get that vasectomy because I want more babies."
"We're going to wait a little while before we get to work on our next baby. Months. Several months. Maybe a year," he said, tracing Annabelle's chubby cheeks. "You took years off my life today, Peanut. I don't want to panic like that ever again."
"Does that mean you'll be wearing a condom?" I asked.
He snickered. "Let's not get carried away here."
Judy returned with Erin in tow, and my sister wedged herself onto the gurney, bracketing me between her and my husband. Neither said anything for several minutes. They just held me and Annabelle, and slowly, slowly, I found my footing again.
"This time isn't my fault," Erin whispered while she stroked Annabelle's little fingers. "Must be your fault, Will."
He brushed the tears from my cheeks and kissed my forehead. "I'll take this one," he replied. "I'll take all of them."
Chapter Sixteen
Patrick
Andy's hand found mine, and she tugged me back, away from the wild crush surrounding Will and Shannon. And the red-faced creature on Shannon's chest. I didn't look too closely. It looked—the baby, she looked impossibly small. Abby, Dave, this one—they all seemed incomprehensibly tiny. Like those awkward internet videos of baby hedgehogs that were the size of a thumbnail.
I couldn't believe anything that small could be here. I didn't understand how anyone could care for such a delicate thing. I couldn't keep a sandwich intact long enough to eat it. I definitely couldn't handle a baby.
But also, I couldn't stop thinking about trading places with Will and Shannon. I saw Andy in that bed, her hair piled high and her cheeks glowing, and our baby nestled between her breasts.
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