by J Bree
“The Boar runs the imports and exports, the Viper is a bookie, the Bear does cleanups and party drugs, the Fox runs parties of all kinds, the Ox runs protection and enforcing, the Coyote is the tech guy, and the Vulture sells skin.”
“Is that the guy who paid you with a raging boner down at the docks?” She shudders delicately.
“Yeah. He’s… fucking disgusting. He offered to double my money for Harley. Dickhead move, I could get at least five hundred grand for him in the right circles.”
Avery chokes on her coffee and fixes her watery eyes on me. “Excuse me?”
I laugh. “Aves, he’s hot. He’s built, pretty, tattooed, and he’s not at all lacking in the dick department. I’d get half a mil easy.”
Avery slams her cup back on the table and glares at me. “Firstly, how the hell do you know what his dick length is if you didn’t have sex with him and, secondly, but most importantly, he is my cousin and I never, ever want to talk about his dick with you. Ever.”
I blush and fidget in my seat. “We only kissed but I got close enough to him to know what he’s working with.”
“Ugh, hand me some fucking brain bleach,” she snarls and picks up her phone.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hiss and try to snatch the phone out of her hands. She glares and turns away from me.
“I’m letting him know that you’re off limits. Jokes! I’m joking, I’m congratulating him on his dick.”
I could fucking die. “Avery, we’re no longer friends. If you hit send, I’m leaving you.”
“Yeah right, I’m your favorite, remember?” she says, cackling like the evil witch she is.
I grumble under my breath as we get up and head out of the cafe.
Avery directs us both to a tiny boutique store that sells ridiculous underwear that is basically scraps of lace for hundreds of dollars. When I say this to Avery she glares at me and throws me a basket, demanding I fill it up. I put three pairs in and refuse to get anymore. She makes a joke about showing them off to Harley and I pray the ground will swallow me whole. When we’re finished and safely buckled back into the town car, Avery grabs my hand.
“You know, you didn’t tell me what you and the Jackal do.”
I bite my lip. I don’t want to answer this question at all but I’ve trusted her with everything so far and she’s never let me down. “The Jackal does everything. Drugs, guns, extortion, kidnapping, fucking everything. He’s a gang leader, through and through. And the Wolf… is invisible. Collects things. Does things no one else wants to do and the stuff no one else can do. I’m good at not being seen.”
She squeezes my hand. “I think you’re good at being underestimated. Joey’s proved that over and over again.”
Chapter Fourteen
Harley starts sitting with Avery and me at breakfast in the dining hall before classes. He still doesn’t really speak to me, which is fine, but he laughs and jokes with Avery again and she’s so ecstatic about it that I’m once again feeling guilty about how much I’ve changed her relationships with the guys. When I say this to her, she smirks at me and tells me they all deserve to grovel at her feet for her affection. I laugh because, well, it’s such a Beaumont thing to say.
I wake up to Ash sleeping on our couch more often than not. When I ask Avery about it she sighs and admits Joey is sending them both threatening texts once more and he’s worried Joey is going to show up at our door again. Ash is still moody and scowling at me but he doesn’t try to speak to me. I take it as a win.
My tutoring sessions with Blaise have become one of the best parts of my day.
He starts to bring me more than just our playlists. He slips me partial lyrics he’s working on and little scratchy sketches drawn in the margins of his workbooks. They’re all little pieces of the real Blaise Morrison, the person he is onstage and away from the toxic wealth of Hannaford, and I’m totally enamored by it. He stops smirking and gives me these heartbreakingly cocky little grins instead. Our time studying alone together leaves me with an ache deep in my chest that won’t go away. I also frequently require a cold shower afterwards to calm my hormones the fuck down. I do not want to be making the same mistakes with him that I have with Harley but I’m starting to forget that he used to hate me. We work together so well as I help get him to the GPA he needs.
We spread out on the floor because Blaise works best when he’s comfortable and he likes the cushions in front of the TV best. He kicks his shoes off at the door and leaves his blazer draped over the couch. He only does this when Avery isn’t here. I think she’s threatened him for it before. His shirt is unbuttoned and his tattoos are peeking out. I can’t take my eyes off of that little patch of exposed skin, not even when Blaise looks up and catches me staring.
“Fuck, Mounty, don't make this even harder for me than it already is,” he groans and I look up, licking my bottom lip.
“What's hard?” I croak, the desire in my voice so clear and foreign to me. I sound like a sexed up harlot. Sweet lord.
Blaise exhales and tips his head back to blink at the ceiling like I'm testing him. Oh. Right. My mind kicks back online and I realize I'm drooling all over him and he's just trying to study. He's so beyond not interested that he's actually repelled by me. Fuck.
“Sorry,” I mumble and I turn away from him, focusing my eyes back onto the assignment in front of me and trying not to vomit in shame. I'm fucking pathetic.
Blaise doesn’t speak again. I mark everything he’s finished and we put together a page of notes for an upcoming test. I manage to calm down and focus on the work enough that I almost forget about how humiliating my reaction to him was. When my phone pings with a text from Avery to say she’s heading back from ballet class I’m shocked the hour is already up. I put away my supplies as Blaise watches me. I avoid his eyes.
He clears his throat and when I refuse to look at him he raises up to his knees before me. I startle, my head jerking up to finally meet his eyes, and then he pushes me back into the cushions until he's lying on top of me. His eyes on my face are molten, fierce and smoldering, and I can't breathe as he slowly lowers his lips to mine.
It's soft and languid for a second, just the barest of touches, like he's worried I'll run away. When I kiss him back, opening my mouth and tasting him, he groans and kisses me harder until I think I'm going to pass out. His chest is a solid weight on top of me. My nipples are hard as they push up against him and I try not to instinctually rock my hips in time with the thrust of his tongue in my mouth. His lips are hungry as they consume me until I’m a shaking mess in his arms. I’m so fucking wet for him with just one kiss. My legs part so he can settle between them and he breaks away from me, panting.
“Is that better?”
A bucket of ice over my head would have been less devastating than those words.
I scramble out from under him and onto my feet. My hands are shaking and I curse myself under my breath. Blaise scowls at me and I'm so deeply ashamed of myself. I want to crawl under my bed and die.
“Avery is going to be back soon. I need to get ready for bed.” I keep my eyes glued to the floor as he packs his bag and leaves. I want to apologize to him but I can't find the words. I don't move or speak until I hear the door shut behind him.
Then I climb into bed and try not to lose myself.
My alarm wakes me. I turn it off and try to go back to sleep.
Last night I pretended to be asleep already when Avery got home and she pretended to believe me which was very kind of her. She’s too smart sometimes, too intuitive, and it’s a blessing and a curse. I listen as she gets up and showers, then when she pours us both a coffee each and starts to make pancakes, without uttering a word to me, I break exactly how she knows I will. Evil dictator.
“Blaise kissed me.”
She lets out a little yelp that is so not an Avery Beaumont noise. I hear something drop and smash in the kitchen. My eyes squeeze shut and tears build up but I refuse to let them fall. I was kind of hoping this would roll
off her back and be no big deal but the universe conspires against me. Great, now I’m just as dramatic as Blaise is. Fuck.
“He did what?! When? Did you kiss him back? Was it a peck or a proper kiss? Jesus Christ, what did you do?” Avery screeches as she storms back over to my bed. I don't look at her. I just can’t.
“We were studying and he was just being nice to me. When he packed up as we finished he pushed me back onto the cushions and he kissed me.”
Avery sinks down onto the bed. I still can't look at her. “Wow. I did not think he would do that.”
Fuck, my stomach roils all over again. “He only did it because he feels like he owes me for helping him study. I'm that fucking pathetic that he felt like he had to.”
Avery clears her throat and says, “Did he say that?”
“He may as well have.”
Her eyes narrow at me. “Tell me exactly what he did say.”
I groan and sit up. Avery looks worried, like really fucking concerned and now I feel like I attacked her friend. I know he kissed me but if I made him so uncomfortable that he felt forced to do it then it's still me in the wrong, right? Fuck, I have a headache. This just proves I should stay away from guys.
“He said I was making it harder for him while I was watching him study. I apologized then he kissed me. Then he pulled away and said ‘is that better’.”
Avery frowns at me and then down at her phone.
“I’m staying in bed today. I’m going to be a coward and just fucking hide here. He's coming back to study tonight and I need to figure out how to help him while I'm crawling with shame.”
Avery starts typing a message even as she scowls at me. “He kissed you, that's on him. Why should you be feeling shame?”
“Because he doesn't even like me. He was only kissing me so I'd keep tutoring him. Fuck, I'm so fucking stupid. Now Ash is going to lose his goddamn mind and Harley is going to get pissy at me for meddling in their shit again and Blaise is going to tell everyone I'm a pathetic stalker.”
She stands up and pulls back the blankets so I’m hit with the chill of the morning air. “Get up and go to class. I'll fix it.”
I groan and scrub at my face like it will change how awful I’m feeling. “Aves-“
“No, Lips. I will fix it. You have a test in Biology and I’m not sitting through choir and Harlow’s crap without you. Shower and eat, I’m going down to eat with the boys and fix this.”
I sigh and do what she says.
I make it through choir without looking at Blaise. He pointedly doesn’t look at me either which makes it both easier and more gut wrenching. Avery watches us both with keen interest, like she’s waiting to have to pry us apart when we try to kill each other. I feel like I should tell her that I don’t want to kill him but I do want to die.
I flee the class the second I can and when I sit down next to Harley in our literature class I give myself the pep talk of a lifetime. I’ve been stabbed, shot, burned, snapped, chained, broken, and beaten. I need to get some perspective and get over the embarrassment of that pity kiss. I get close to believing myself.
Ms. Lucia had assigned ‘A Brave New World’ to the class as a reading over the winter break and we’re given a pop quiz the moment she arrives. I love the book, having read it in middle school, and I could have done the quiz in my sleep. I’m finished with twenty minutes to spare and I grab my notes for Biology to make absolutely sure I’m going to ace the test in the next class. Harley finishes up five minutes after me and he pulls out his own notes, immaculately written and so much better than mine. Ms. Lucia smiles at us both and then promptly ignores us as she marks our quizzes.
Harley waits until her attention is away from us and then whispers, “Why was Avery threatening Blaise this morning at breakfast?”
I keep my gaze on my notes. Harley doesn't sound happy and my eyes will give me away.
“I don't know. This is the first I'm hearing of it.”
He grunts at me and says, “She told him that she’d end him if he tried to touch you again. When did he touch you?”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Avery, lord help me, why couldn't you have been just a little more discreet?! Did Ash know? I’ll be hauled into another supply closet and called a slut in no time! I hope my face isn’t showing any of the panic I’m feeling right down to my soul.
“I was helping him with an assignment. Avery is worried about me because Ash is on the warpath about you guys and she doesn’t want to cause any issues. Nothing to worry about, forget it.”
He leans in closer and whispers, “She made it sound like he’d tried to kiss you. He was pretty ashamed when she started in on him.”
Hot shame slides over my skin and my cheeks flush. I raise my hand and when Ms. Lucia calls on me I ask to go to the nurse for a migraine. Harley watches me as I pack up and his eyes follow me out the door.
I don’t make it to Biology.
Blaise arrives at our room with a black eye and a shitty attitude.
Avery makes herself comfortable on her bed and starts her own assignments. She’d told her ballet teacher she had cramps and then told me she was going to make sure Blaise wasn’t inappropriate with me. I’d argued with her, I was the one who was inappropriate, but she wouldn’t budge.
We sit on the floor like we always do, though I’m a little uncomfortable about it now. Blaise sullenly hands over all of his completed work and I hand him a pile of notes to work on while I mark. We settle into a mildly uncomfortable silence as we work.
It’s not until Avery gets a phone call and ducks into the bathroom for privacy that Blaise finally speaks to me.
“You’re such a hypocrite. You ran straight to Avery.”
I blush and nod my head. I just need to get this out and be done with it. “I know. I told her exactly how embarrassed I was with my actions and I owe you an apology.”
Blaise frowns at me and I fumble on, praying I can clear the air enough so we can get back to studying as friends. “Look, I’m sorry I was staring and making you uncomfortable. I was tired and not thinking straight. I’m also sorry Avery yelled at you for the whole…thing, I was embarrassed that you had pity kissed me and I moped to her about it. You know how she gets when she’s in protect mode. Can we just forget it and move on?”
I force myself to look him in the eye. He’s still frowning and now he’s chewing on his bottom lip. If he didn’t look so serious I’d think he was teasing me.
“That’s not what I was expecting you to say,” he murmurs.
I shrug because I don’t have an answer to that either. When he opens his mouth again, Avery walks out of the bathroom and pegs him with a look. He arches an eyebrow at her like he’s trying to provoke her into a fight. I get a bad feeling about the two of them circling each other.
“Where did you get that lovely black eye from, Morrison?” Avery croons. She struts into the kitchen and begins to make us each a hot cocoa. She doesn’t get a cup for Blaise.
He watches her as he leans back, his attitude melting back into the cocky rock star he really is. “Arbour was defending his love. He thinks I’m trying to steal his girl out from under him and he can be a jealous shit.”
My stomach drops and the small amount of peace I’d managed to find with my apology disappears into thin air. Harley has a girlfriend? Blaise is trying to steal her? I don’t like the sound of either of those things. Blaise is pity kissing me and then out hunting his best friend’s girlfriend. Wow. Why do I like this asshole so much? At least now I’m not feeling so bad about my actions.
“I didn’t know he had a girl,” snipes Avery, filling my cup with marshmallows and drizzling the entire drink in chocolate syrup. It’s like a heart attack in a cup and I’m so fucking ready for it.
Blaise grins and packs away his textbooks and notes. “Try telling him that. Have a good night, girls. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lance the Mounty, because I can’t remember the little fuck’s last name to save
my damn life, is becoming a problem.
He gets to our tutoring sessions before me without fail so I don’t even get a minute to myself to set up. When Ash realizes this, he starts coming earlier as well so when I arrive ten minutes before the start time they’re both already there and being openly hostile towards each other. I do my best to ignore it but, fuck me, Lance will not stop flirting and Ash gets snarky at him the second he starts. I stay polite but I lose my friendly demeanor quickly. I have enough problems in my life without adding an obsessed little Mounty boy to the list. He does not get the hint. If anything, it makes him work harder.
It does work to my advantage in the week leading up to winter break. As we finish the session I quickly pack up to try and flee before he can ask to walk me back to the dorms when he starts in on his latest attempt to befriend me.
“I’m the school photographer. I’ve got a good shot of you at a football game a few weeks ago. It’s the only one I’ve seen you at.”
Ash sneers at him. “You sound like a fucking stalker. Lay off a bit or she’ll realize how desperate you really are.”
I clench my teeth. I hate that he is defending me because I honestly don’t know what the fuck I’d say to Lance if Ash weren’t here. He’s too much and I feel fucking smothered.
Lance ignores Ash and hands me his iPad with the photo he’s talking about. It’s great, but I’m not the only one in it. Harley and I are eating hotdogs and laughing with each other. Avery is tucked under Ash’s arm and they’re both smiling at Blaise who is talking about something and gesturing with his hands. It’s the perfect moment in time for all five of us and I instantly know Avery will adore it. I mean, I love it too, but I feel weird about it because Ash hates me, Blaise only tolerates me because I help him with his studies, and, well, I guess Harley is my friend. It’s the perfect gift for Avery and I’ve been struggling to find her something.
