When he forced himself to pull away, Cass sighed. “Flings are good…” she murmured, her blue eyes bright.
“They are,” he agreed, leaning in to kiss her again.
But a fling wouldn’t be enough for him.
Chapter Fifteen
Cassidy clung to the outskirts of Naomi’s hospital room. Not because she didn’t want to be close to her friend, but because the space had gotten so crowded. Lucas and Gracie sat on the bed with Naomi, taking turns holding baby Charlotte. Lance hung out by the window with Levi, the two of them taking good-natured digs at each other. Jessa was around somewhere—probably looking for a cup of coffee.
It was crazy how time had switched everything around. Back in high school, her family had provided Levi with a place to belong, but now his family had become hers. Her heart ached. She would miss them when she left.
Hours had passed since that morning’s drama, but that was still all anyone could talk about. When Lucas had finally made it to the hospital, they’d relayed the whole birth story for him in enough detail that Levi had to leave the room. And when Lance and Jessa arrived with Gracie an hour later, they’d gone through it all again.
Each time, the details had grown, along with the laughter and jokes at Levi’s expense. Multiple times, Cassidy had offered to leave Lucas and Naomi and Gracie alone as a family so they could focus on their new daughter, but they’d wanted everyone to stay to keep the celebration going.
“Tell everyone again how Levi fainted,” Naomi begged Cassidy, passing Charlotte off to Lucas.
“Come on, Cass.” Gracie bounded over and dragged her to the bed. “You tell it the best.”
“I probably shouldn’t.” She eyed Levi to tease him again, but that backfired. Looking at him this afternoon had only ended up teasing her. Tempting her. The fire he’d kindled inside her when he’d kissed her in the parking lot still burned hot. “We’ve been making fun of him for a good hour now. It’s not very nice.”
“Yeah, let’s move on to other topics.” Levi rose from his chair, a playful scowl in place. Leaning over near the bed, he stole the bundled baby from his brother, cradling her like he’d been doing it for years. “Don’t listen to them, little darlin’,” he cooed to his niece. “Your uncle Levi is the best. Handsome and wise and—”
“So humble,” Cassidy interrupted.
Everyone laughed.
“He’s always had a weak stomach,” Lance muttered with a shake of his head. “But confidence? That’s never been a weakness for Levi.”
“It’s because I’m the best looking one,” he whispered to the baby. “That’s why they make fun of me. They’re jealous.”
“Lucas is the most handsomest.” Loyal little Gracie took ahold of her stepfather’s hand protectively.
Cassidy had to disagree. Levi was looking especially sexy right now wearing those fitted Renegade jeans and a tattered gray T-shirt that hugged his biceps. His dark hair had been tousled by the morning’s events, and his eyes…they were full of a sweet tenderness whenever he stared down at his new niece.
She inhaled deeply, a sense of longing filling her heart. She knew she shouldn’t, but she liked when he flirted with her, when he kissed her all hot and desperate like he had in the truck before. It left her suspended in a glittering anticipation that she hadn’t felt for so long.
Levi glanced up and caught her staring at him. A knowing smile played on his lips.
“Okay. That’s enough. Quit being a bad influence on my daughter.” Lucas swooped in and took the baby back. He was cute with her too, careful and slow-moving and completely enamored. Amazing how such a tiny person could break even the toughest cowboys.
Lucas settled in next to Naomi again, holding the baby against his chest. Despite the sting of envy, Cassidy’s heart couldn’t contain her happiness for them. It flowed through her, brimming over in a fresh round of tears.
Lucas and Naomi had been high school sweethearts before he’d gone to prison to take the punishment for the fire Levi had set. For years after, Lucas had stayed away from Topaz Falls, worried he would ruin Naomi’s life if he came back. Though they’d been apart for more than a decade, Naomi and Lucas had always loved each other, and when they’d finally admitted it, they’d somehow managed to overcome the wounds of their pasts. Now, after everything they’d been through, their life together was very sweet.
Cassidy glanced at Levi again. He seemed to be watching her. Quickly, she dried her tears and looked away. Her wounds were much different from Naomi’s, and over the last few years, independence and hard work had been her savior.
“Can I hold the baby again?” Gracie begged.
“You can hold her anytime you want,” Lucas promised his stepdaughter. Holding the baby like a football, he settled the little peanut into her arms.
The four of them huddled together, the picture of the perfect family. That was Cassidy’s cue. “I should get going.” Truthfully, she should’ve gotten going a long time ago. Spending time with Levi and his family like this went way beyond their agreement. He’d already told her Jessa and Naomi were pushing for more of a commitment between them. Acting like a member of the family wouldn’t help. Avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, she gave Naomi and Gracie quick hugs. “I need to get ready for work.”
“Thank you for everything.” Lucas leaned in to hug her too.
“Oh. Wow.” She awkwardly returned the embrace. He’d never hugged her before.
“Thanks for taking such good care of my wife,” he murmured.
“I’m glad I got to be there.” It was a privilege to take part in such a special moment for her friend. Giving Naomi’s hand a squeeze, Cassidy turned to Gracie. “Maybe you can come over and have a sleepover with me soon.” That might give her parents a little rest after a week or two of being up with the baby at night.
“Yes!” Gracie squealed. “And we can paint our nails and put on makeup and have a princess movie marathon!”
Actually, nothing in the world sounded better than that. After babysitting the girl since she was a toddler, she’d miss Gracie as much as she would miss her mom. “I’ll call your mom in a few days and set it up.” She had to fit it in soon, before things got too crazy with preparing to pack and move…
“Okay,” the girl sang, returning her focus to her new baby sister.
Sadness clouded Cassidy’s heart as she ducked out of the room. Soon she’d be gone. She wouldn’t be around to have sleepover parties with Gracie, to see baby Charlotte grow up…
“When do I get to have a sleepover?” Levi had followed her into the hall.
Somehow he made a pout look so damn sexy.
Amusement overtook her gloom. “Hmmm. I don’t know. Somehow we’d have to fit it in between work and planning for the clinic and nosy relatives.” If she spent the night with him at the ranch, everyone would know it—Jessa and Naomi and Lucas and Lance. She didn’t want to give them the wrong idea. Or maybe it was herself she wanted to protect.
“Guess we’ll have to get creative,” he said, eyeing her mouth.
“I like creative.” Her heartbeat had already gotten out of control.
“Me too.” He edged her up against the wall and nudged his lips into hers, teasing her with a quick, light peck. She threaded her hands into his hair and held him in place so she could kiss him properly and then teased him with a nibble on his lower lip.
When she pulled back, he groaned. “I’d be willing to bet there’s an empty bed somewhere nearby.”
“And I’d be willing to bet we’d get caught by Dev again. Or a doctor. Or Nurse Ratched.” That seemed to be their luck.
“So when am I going to see you?” His hands fit to her hips and tugged her body closer to his. “Alone?”
“You’re taking me out next week,” she reminded him.
His shoulders fell. “That’s a long time to wait.”
“Think of it this way…it’ll build anticipation.” She kissed him once more on the lips, finding it even harder to pu
ll away this time.
His darkened gaze lowered down her body. “I’ve already got enough anticipation to last us all night. Trust me.”
“Then I’ll look forward to our date.” Every part of her burned red-hot, but she slipped under his arm and hurried away before he sweet-talked her into finding a vacant room. It wouldn’t have been that difficult for him to convince her.
Fighting the temptation to glance over her shoulder, she hurried out the hospital’s main entrance, dragging along the weight of a conflicted frustration. Part of her knew it wasn’t wise to drag out this fling and make it any harder to leave Topaz Falls. And the other part of her needed this fling.
Outside, the sun still radiated its bright heat, bearing down on the mountains with that ethereal glow. From here, the royal sky seemed endless, stretching over the horizon as though it’s beauty continued on forever. There was nothing to obstruct the view—no apartment buildings or skyscrapers or a haze of smog. Pausing, she appreciated it in a way she hadn’t in a long time. She’d kept herself too busy, which had only made her stressed and harried. And lonely.
She hadn’t realized how lonely she’d been until Levi had showed up that night at her house weeks ago, until she’d sat across from him at the dinner table. Until he’d made her feel a long-forgotten passion. But it was shadowed by the knowledge that they had no future. Eventually, he’d go back to his career, he’d get back on a bull, and she’d have to walk away. She couldn’t live like that—waiting for the next injury, wondering every time he left for an event if he’d come back home. The fear would consume her.
She started to walk again, trying to outrun the heartache, but when she turned the corner, a blur of blond hair flashed, and she collided with someone.
The woman turned away, gasping on a sob.
“Jessa?” Cassidy reached for her friend’s shoulder. “Are you crying?”
Dumb question. The woman’s eyes were swollen and red. Which meant she’d been crying for a long time.
Cassidy hugged her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Jessa turned her back, frantically wiping her eyes. “Nothing. I didn’t realize anyone else was out here.”
“I’m on my way home to get ready for work.” Cassidy slipped in front of her. “What happened?” Why wasn’t she in Naomi’s room celebrating with everyone else?
“I needed some air.” Jessa waved her away. “It’s nothing. You should get going. Can’t be late for a shift.”
“I have plenty of time.” Not exactly true, but she’d already put in her notice. What were they going to do? Fire her? She took her friend’s elbow and guided her to a bench that sat near a small rose garden bordering the south side of the hospital. They sat side by side.
“Talk to me,” Cass said, the same way Jessa had said to her many times. The woman was always the one listening, the one offering help. She never asked for anything. She hadn’t seen Jessa cry in ages—not since they’d first met and her friend was still grieving the loss of her father.
Jessa stared at her hands as though she was embarrassed. “I just thought—we thought—we’d be pregnant by now. That’s all.” Her voice barely rose above a whisper. “We’ve both been hoping—and trying—since the wedding, and nothing’s happened.”
“Oh, honey…” Cassidy squeezed her friend’s hands tightly. How had she missed that? She’d been so preoccupied with her own life that she hadn’t even thought about how Naomi’s pregnancy had impacted Jessa. “I didn’t know…”
“We don’t want to make a big deal out of it. Especially not now. I’m so happy for Naomi and Lucas.” Her eyes teared up again. “But it hit me in there. Holding her. Watching Lucas snuggle with her. I hope we can have that someday too.”
Cassidy nodded, her eyes stinging. She knew how it felt to sit and stare at something you wanted so badly but couldn’t have. “You will. I’m sure you will.” Lance and Jessa would be the most devoted parents. “Have you talked to your doctor?”
“That’s why I was in Denver this morning. I had a bunch of tests done.” She dabbed at her tears with a wadded Kleenex. “We don’t know the results yet, but I’m so afraid something is wrong.”
Cassidy pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry.” What else could she say? “That’s so hard. But I know you’ll have a baby someday.” There were so many options now.
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” Her friend straightened, inhaled a breath, and put on her dazzling smile. “I need to get back in there. I’m sure Lance is wondering where I went.”
Cassidy dug in her purse and found some fresh Kleenex. “It’ll all work out.” Those two deserved a baby. “It might take time, but I know it’ll work out.”
“I hope so. I’ve never been good at waiting.”
Cassidy heard that. “None of us are good at waiting. Especially for the things we want most in life.”
Jessa’s brilliant blue eyes perked up. “What do you want most?” she asked. So much for a hidden agenda…her friend made it pretty clear that she was asking about Levi.
Cassidy pretended not to notice. “I want to be a pediatric nurse.” That was her future. It was safe. It was clear. She didn’t need anyone else to help her accomplish it.
“You’ll be the best pediatric nurse in Colorado.” Jessa leaned closer. “Just remember…there’s room for more than a career in your life.”
Sure. Maybe in her life. But in her heart? That was a different story. “You’re going to make a great mom,” she said with a teasing look.
Her friend simply smiled. “I’m happy to practice giving lectures and advice anytime.”
“I appreciate it.” She hugged her again. She loved and appreciated this family more than she could ever say.
* * *
“What the hell is that?” Levi stared at the mess in Charlotte’s diaper. It looked like something out of an alien movie.
Lucas fastened the diaper back into place and darted a gaze around the room as though assessing what he’d need for this mission. “Apparently it’s called meconium, aka newborn poop.” His brother held the diaper firmly in place. He didn’t seem to know what to do next.
Levi sure as hell didn’t.
Charlotte, however, seemed content to snooze through the ordeal.
“Hard to believe all of that came out of such a tiny, two-day-old package,” Lance commented. They were all crowded around the changing table in Charlotte’s ladybug-themed nursery. Naomi was still recovering, which meant Lucas was trying to let her rest as much as possible. When Levi and Lance had stopped by to bring them breakfast, he’d suckered them into helping him change his first seriously messy diaper.
“You probably should’ve called someone more qualified.” Levi backed up a step. “Where’s Jessa this morning?”
“She’s busy.” There was an edge to Lance’s voice. In fact, there’d been a harsh edge in everything his oldest brother said lately.
“We can do this.” Lucas inhaled deeply. “It’s just a diaper.”
“A diaper full of tar.” At least that’s what it looked like to Levi.
Charlotte squirmed and started to fuss.
“Uh-oh. Okay. We’ve got to do this now.” Lucas unfastened the diaper again. “Can’t let her wake up Naomi.” He glanced at Levi. “You get the wipes ready.”
“Roger that.” Levi opened the package and armed himself with enough wet wipes to make a blanket.
Lucas gave Lance a pacifier. “If she starts crying, try this.”
“Got it.” Their older brother held the pacifier near Charlotte’s mouth.
“Here we go.” Lucas slipped off the diaper. “Wipes! Hurry!”
Levi handed them over, and his brother went to work cleaning her off.
Charlotte seemed to take exception to the disruption. Her face scrunched, and she let out an ear-splitting wail.
“Whoa.” Lance leaned over. “Here you go.” He brushed the pacifier against her lips, but she only cried louder.
“Oh shit! She’s pooping again!�
�� Lucas furiously swiped more wipes from the package.
“How can there be more?” Levi snatched another handful of wipes to help, but the stuff was everywhere—on the changing table, on her clothes, on the soft pink blanket he’d given to her as a gift. Wiping it up only seemed to smear it worse.
“She doesn’t want the pacifier,” Lance announced.
“Keep trying.” Lucas ripped the package of wipes in two, taking them by the handful and trying to mop up the mess.
Charlotte continued to howl.
“Man, this stuff won’t come off.” Levi tossed some of the dirty wipes into a nearby trashcan. “It’s like glue…”
“You boys need some assistance?” Naomi walked into the room and peered over Levi’s shoulder.
“Thank god.” He stepped aside, but Lucas dragged him back. “We got this, hon. You can go rest.”
Levi shot his brother a look. They clearly didn’t have this.
Naomi winked and crept in between them. “It’s okay. I feel great this morning.” She lifted Charlotte, mess and all, into her arms and gave her daughter kisses.
Instantly, the baby quieted.
“She needs a bath anyway.” Holding the baby in one arm, Naomi wadded up the soiled blankets and tossed them effortlessly into a hamper. “You guys should go enjoy some coffee on the porch.” She paused next to her husband and brushed a kiss on his lips. “You’re amazing by the way. Best daddy in the world.”
“Love you, babe.” Lucas’s hard frown disappeared, and it was one of the best sights Levi had ever seen. His brother had a painful past. He’d always been hard on himself, but Naomi seemed to soften all his rough edges.
“Did you see that, sweet girl?” Naomi murmured to Charlotte as she left the room. “Your daddy and uncles love you so much, they’re willing to get their hands dirty.”
Hands and clothes. Levi eyed a dark spot on his shirt as he followed his brothers into the kitchen, where they washed up in the sink. He scrubbed a good three times before drying his hands on a towel.
“Whew, that was intense.” Lance pulled out a stool at the island and hunched, resting his elbows on the counter.
Renegade Cowboy Page 16
