Desperate Measures

by Fern Michaels

  I’m wandering here. I guess it’s because I hate writing this letter, knowing I’ll be gone when you read it.

  Attached is a list of the numbered bank accounts in Geneva.

  Take care, Peter. Go on with your life and don’t look back. Do what’s best for Peter and those you love, especially those you love. That’s what it’s all about.

  Thank you so much for that wonderful Christmas we shared together. Imagine what it would have been like if Miss Gabriel had been there. After all, she made it all possible. Open your eyes and your heart, Peter.

  Much love and affection,

  Leo

  The crackly letter dropped to the floor as Pete’s hands closed over the arms of the chair he was sitting on. He was having trouble breathing and his mouth felt dry.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  It had been a terrible week, as far as Maddie was concerned, beginning with the dissatisfying phone call to Pete, and then coming back to this prison and going through the motions of living. She’d also gotten a letter, which arrived after the phone call.

  “Aren’t you cold?” Janny asked curiously as she snipped at the evergreens on the side of the front porch. She herself was dressed in a heavy jacket and wore gardening gloves with a fleece lining. They probably weren’t gardening gloves at all, but workmen’s gloves. She’d found them in the barn and confiscated them.

  “Do you mean me personally or just my heart? How can you be cold when you’re dead? I am, you know, I just don’t have enough sense to lie down and get it over with. What are you doing?”

  “Trimming these bushes. Or are they shrubs? It’s something different to do, and I like to keep busy. You should try doing something besides feeling sorry for yourself, Maddie. This isn’t going to go away, and we need to make the best of it.”

  “Like you do with those ranch hands,” Maddie snapped.

  “Yeah,” Janny drawled. “I enjoy playing cards with them and talking. That’s all we do, Maddie. I hate being around you because you depress me.” There, she’d said it and it was out in the open.

  “Is this where you start to blame me for what happened?”

  “No. All I said was you depress me. You never speak to me unless I speak first. You grumble and complain, and I can’t stand your constant crying and whining. We have to make the best of this and look forward to the day it all comes to an end.”

  “And when, pray tell, do you think that’s going to happen?”

  “I don’t know, Maddie. All I know is it will, and I don’t intend to sit here and suck my thumb.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. When it comes right down to it, what did you give up? A job, that’s it. I gave up Pete, the business, my marriage. Everything,” Maddie said bitterly.

  “It wasn’t just a job. It was my career. I know with a lot of hard work I could have done very well. And, Miss Stern, I had to put my dream of finding my real mother on hold. That counts, Maddie. A lot. It’s something I dreamed of doing all my life, and now I can’t. Someday, when this is all over, I hope I can find her. I can’t let that stop me from living. Life goes on, Maddie. We’re alive and well.” She’d gone through this same speech so many times, she was sick of it. Who was this person sitting on the porch shivering in the cold because she didn’t have the good sense to put on a jacket?

  “So blame me, I can take it,” Maddie said wearily.

  “No you can’t, that’s the problem. You need help, Maddie. I think we should ask the caseworker to get you a shrink to talk to. We could probably both use a little counseling. I’m game if you are. I’ll even do the asking. You need help, Maddie, and I’m not saying this to hear my own voice.”

  “Do you think I’m crazy?” Maddie shouted.

  “No, I don’t think you’re crazy, but I do think you need to talk to someone before you go over the edge. You need professional help. So do I. I realize it, why can’t you?”

  “Stuff it, Janny. Do you think every time a guy dumps a girl she should go to a shrink? That’s what you’re saying. People lose their businesses every day of the year, and do they seek professional help? I doubt it. What makes me different?”

  “Our situation. You aren’t accepting it.”

  “You have?” Maddie said bitterly.

  “A lot better than you have. I don’t know you anymore, Maddie,” Janny said quietly. “And you know something else, I don’t blame Pete one bit for not coming here. You are so selfish, you’d let Fairy Tales go under, you’d make Pete give up his business, just so you can have what you want. Grow up, Maddie, that isn’t the way the real world operates. This is going to be over, and I believe Pete when he said he’d wait for you. It’s something to look forward to, but you took care of that, didn’t you? If he does what you told him to do, it will be your fault. At the risk of repeating myself, grow up, Maddie.”

  “I quit,” Maddie said quietly, Pete’s letter clutched in her hand. She’d read it five times, knew the words by heart. She could throw it away when she went into the house.

  Inside, Maddie flopped down on the sofa.

  Olive Parsons. The marshals had screwed up on that too. Six months ago they found their mistake and came to give her another identity, saying that in their haste to try and satisfy her the wrong numbers were put into the computer. It seemed there was a real Olive Parsons, her caseworker had said sheepishly. Janny told her she’d lost it that day, screaming and yelling, her eyes rolling back in her head. There had been a regular parade of people for several days after that, apologizing, trying to explain she needed this new identity and she must turn over all the old papers given to her. She’d refused, and that night after Janny was asleep she’d buried everything in the backyard in a five-pound lard can. Someday she was going to fuck them all over the way they fucked her over. God, she was starting to think and talk like a criminal.

  In the house she fixed herself a cup of tea and carried it to the living room, where she smoothed out Pete’s letter and read it again.

  My Dearest Maddie,

  I don’t understand any of this. The marshals told me you were given permission to write me. Why didn’t you? I need to know. If the marshals follow through, I will probably speak with you before you get this letter. Hopefully, we will be able to sort things out.

  There’s so much I want to tell you, I don’t know where to start. Anywhere, I guess. I gave up the house in Stamford. I didn’t think I could be happy there without you. It was just a house, Maddie. I bought one in Darien. Annie decorated it for me and it’s quite nice. She calls it my pad. I had to do something because she needed a place to stay, and giving up my apartment to her was easy, since it held memories of us. It was absolute torture to walk into it and know you wouldn’t be there when I was in town.

  My uncle Leo and I made peace. I invited him for Christmas. I didn’t want to be alone. It would have been our first Christmas as a married couple. We had a nice time and got to know one another.

  You would not believe how well Fairy Tales is doing. Annie is a magician. It runs so smoothly. She’s got a fine business head and customers seem to like her. She’s not trying to take your place, Maddie, she’s standing in for you until you get back. I guess what I’m trying to say is, the store is in the best of hands so you don’t need to fret about it.

  God, I wish I knew where you were. I wish so many things lately. All I do is think about you and how I failed you by not being home for your calls. But Maddie, I was trying to find you. The police wouldn’t tell me anything. I hired a private detective, but the marshals are as close-mouthed as clams. I did everything I could possibly do. I just found out about the letter writing and phone calls a short while ago. They told me you had to initiate them. It makes me wonder, Maddie, why you didn’t. Didn’t you have faith in me? Don’t you trust me?

  I’ll wait for you, Maddie. As long as it takes. If our love is as strong as I believe, then we will weather this. I need to hear from you, Maddie. I need to know what your feelings are.

  From the things
I’ve been reading in the papers and from my contacts in the D.A.’s office, it seems they have a pretty airtight case and it’s getting tighter. They expect to go to trial by the middle of next year. That’s not long, Maddie, less than a year. If they bring down the family, your life will be your own again. We can pick up where we left off. It seems, according to one of my sources, the rats are rolling over trying to make deals. What that means is there won’t be anyone left to harm you after the trial. In my opinion.

  I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but because of you, this town will be a lot safer for all of us. Because of your bravery, others will have the guts to come out and say what they know. It’s hard, but it’s for just a bit longer. Hang in there, Maddie. It will be over soon.

  My love for you is constant. Take care of yourself and think about me and how bright our future will be when this is all over.

  All my love,

  Pete

  “And I thought lawyers were supposed to be smart,” Maddie muttered. “If you believe for one minute we are going to have a bright, wonderful future, you’re crazy. If you loved me, you’d be here right now, telling me these things in person. I might believe you then. Letters don’t count. What counts is being here with me. So there, Pete Sorenson. So there.”

  “I’m worried about you, Maddie,” Janny said that evening when she’d finished the dishes.

  “Well, don’t worry about me. By the time this thing gets to court, I’ll be declared incompetent and my testimony won’t be needed.”

  Janny’s eyebrows shot upward as her jaw dropped. “Is that what this is all about?”

  “They won’t need me then. Pete said in his letter that all those criminals, the ones that belong to the crime families, are ... rolling over and making deals. Don’t you get it, Janny, this is all for nothing. When it’s time to go into court, I won’t even be needed. And for that they ruined my life. Yours too, but you refuse to accept it.”

  “The way I look at it, Maddie, my life is on hold for a while. Personally speaking, I think you’re in a very bad emotional state right now and you aren’t thinking clearly. I’m sorry you won’t ask for professional help because I think you need it. My suggestion to you right now would be to ask if you can call Pete. It might be nice to wish him a happy Thanksgiving. You know, be grateful for what you have because the alternative isn’t something I want to think about.”

  “Butt out, Janny,” Maddie said nastily.

  Back in the kitchen, Janny pulled at Marshal Parker McNally’s arm.

  “Parker, I need to talk to you,” she said quietly. “Let’s go outside and take a short walk.”

  He was okay for a marshal, Janny thought. He missed his family and he hated this particular job. He was tall, broad-shouldered, fit and trim. She pretended not to see the gun stuck in the back of his trousers. Instead she concentrated on his dedication, his homely face and the big ears he said were his personal curse to live with the rest of his life. He was married to the sweetest girl in Texas, he said, and had three of the most beautiful daughters in the whole world. His assignment was six weeks on and three weeks off.

  “I hope you aren’t going to tell me Unitec nosedived,” McNally grumbled good-naturedly.

  “Nothing that interesting. I’m worried about Maddie. She needs help, Parker. You have to call somebody, and you need to do it today. I’m no psychiatrist, but I know Maddie and she’s mentally teetering on the edge. Will you call someone?”

  “Are you sure, Janice? I talked to her yesterday and she was her usual nasty self. I didn’t pick up on any . . . mental problems.”

  “You don’t know her like I do. Like I thought I knew her. If I’m wrong, what harm is done? Some shrink gets to mush through all this snow and eat my cooking. I don’t want . . . later to know I missed some signals and Maddie . . . went over the edge.”

  “How is it you can handle this and she can’t?” McNally asked for the hundredth time.

  “I wasn’t engaged. I didn’t have any wedding plans. I didn’t open up a million-dollar business, and . . . and I don’t have a fiance, a fiance who doesn’t want to join me. That’s Maddie’s explanation. And I still have the same identity I was given at the get-go. They dicked her around, and you know it. I agree with her, we don’t belong in this program. Your people didn’t take the time to figure that out, and yeah, I know, things moved quickly and you did the best you could. It wasn’t good enough. It still isn’t good enough. Promises were made. Promises were broken. It wasn’t fair and it still isn’t fair. I hate this as much as she does.”

  “But you’re handling it.”

  Janny wiped at the tears in her eyes. “I guess my expectations weren’t as grand as Maddie’s. I’m a simple person. I’d like to be rich someday, but more than anything, I want to be contented. I want a family because I never had one. To me, that’s a very high expectation, but not a monetary one. Maddie equates everything with dollars. Will you call, Parker?”

  “Yes. I don’t know who I’m going to raise on Thanksgiving eve, though,” McNally said, a frown building between his brows.

  “Maybe you need to get tough. I happen to think this is crucial. If anything happens to Maddie, I swear to God I will personally walk all the way to Cheyenne and spill my guts to the first reporter who will listen. And all those ranch hands in there, they’ll help me. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do know that.”

  “So . . . tell them to get the shrink here by tomorrow. They can fly in by helicopter and land in the field.”

  McNally felt out of his depth. He believed everything Janice was telling him, but he knew there were going to be hundreds of questions, and he didn’t know if he could answer them. “Does that mean I should ask them to send a woman or a man?”

  “I don’t think a woman would be good, Parker. Maddie will see that she’s dressed well, free to work at her profession, free to come and go as she pleases. That will work on her mind. At least I think it will. I think a man will be better. Yes, I think it should be a man. Do you have any opinions?” she asked.

  “No I don’t. I’ll tell them what you said, what you suggested.”

  “Maybe it should be a fatherly figure, you know, an older man.”

  “That sounds good,” McNally said, relieved that he now had something to say that made some kind of weird sense, even to him.

  In the offices at 600 Army Navy Drive in Arlington, Virginia, Sandor Neville was participating in a three-way conference call with the Attorney General and Manhattan’s District Attorney. He repeated Marshal McNally’s phone call word for word. He fired up a cigarette while he listened to the two attorneys hash out the pros and cons of the request. His mind wandered. Was his wife going to serve pumpkin and pecan pie tomorrow or would it be apple? It probably wasn’t going to make a difference because, from the sound of things, he wasn’t going to make it home for a few days.

  Neville thought about Maddie Stern. He felt sorry for her. He wished there were something he could personally do for the young woman. He wondered if Pete Sorenson was going to be alone for Thanksgiving or if he had someone to share it with. The whole thing sucked as far as he was concerned. He fired up a second cigarette. He was stubbing it out in the ashtray when the Attorney General gave the okay to send a psychiatrist of Neville’s choosing to Jasper Springs. And where in the goddamn hell was he supposed to find a shrink on Thanksgiving eve? The Yellow Pages? Well, yeah, it was a place to start.

  Neville called his wife, told her not to hold dinner for him.

  The following afternoon, with a light snow falling, a blue and white helicopter set down in the cornfield on the ranch outside of Jasper Springs. Parker McNally, in a four-by-four, waited for his passenger, who he thought looked meaner than a castrated bull. “Oh shit,” he muttered.

  He wasn’t fatherly-looking at all. Grandfatherly would be more like it. Maybe even great-grandfatherly. He expected his voice to be brittle and raspy, like dry leaves rubbing against each other in the fall.
Instead it was warm and gentle-sounding. A chuckle crept in when Dr. Phillips said, “I’m as cold as a well digger’s ass. Tell me about my patient.”

  “Well, we didn’t tell her about you. That’s for starters. Did they really swear you in as a marshal?”

  “At the airport. I felt important,” Dr. Phillips said. “It was necessary to maintain the secrecy. In a way, it wasn’t necessary because I’m bound by the Hippocratic oath, but I took it anyway to make everyone feel better.” He chuckled again as the four-by-four sped through the snow-covered fields. “Now, tell me everything you can about the patient.”

  McNally told him everything he knew. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the doctor nod several times. His voice full of awe, McNally said, “She can tell you what’s on every page of the Sears catalog.”

  “Amazing,” was all the doctor said. “How shall I address her, as Miss Parsons, or have you given her a second name?”

  McNally shrugged. “That’s part of the problem. They told her she couldn’t be Olive Parsons anymore because the computer made a mistake. It seems there’s a real Olive Parsons somewhere. She refused to accept a new name. She’s very angry.”

  “Justifiably so,” the doctor said.

  McNally continued to talk, and Dr. Phillips continued to listen. He didn’t ask any more questions. McNally thought it strange, but what did he know about psychiatry?

  The house, when they arrived, smelled of cinnamon and apples. Janny was baking pies with the apples from the root cellar.

  McNally made the introduction and discreetly withdrew to the kitchen with Janny.

  “Are you a psychiatrist, Dr. Phillips?” Maddie said, marking her place in the catalog by turning down the page. She was on sleds, Flexible Flyers.

  “Yes I am,” Phillips replied, taking a chair near the fire. “I was told you needed someone from the outside to talk to. I’d like to help if I can. If you aren’t ready or if you’d like me to leave, I will. The decision is yours, Miss . . . Stern.”