Before he could stop himself or even think to ask if it was okay, Logan leaned down and kissed Sylvie, his lips worshiping hers as she opened to him. Her hand was still against his chest for a brief moment before she moved it underneath his shirt to his back. Logan explored every inch of Sylvie’s welcoming mouth and then stroked his tongue over hers as she moaned against him. Heat flooded his senses, but he forced himself to pull back and then dared to look up at Dom. He expected anger or shock from the other man, but what he found had his cock stiffening further and his blood began to boil with lust. Dom was watching him with unadulterated need – him, not his wife. His stomach clenched at the realization that this man, this beautiful, powerful man wanted him. And worse, Logan wanted him back.
The discovery had him stepping back. He wasn’t interested in men – never had been. He was just caught up in the moment, he told himself as he tried to take another step back but couldn’t. His body was no longer listening to his brain and he stood there motionless because as much as he wanted what would happen next, he couldn’t make himself take that last step.
“Dom,” Sylvie said, her voice low, almost pleading. Dom’s whole body was ripped with tension, but when his wife gently pulled free of his hold and extricated herself from between the two men, he never took his eyes off Logan. The three hung there in the silence for several long, torturous seconds and then Dom was moving.
Logan felt the huge hand clasp the back of his head as Dom closed the distance between them and lowered his mouth. He had precious seconds to stop this – to utter that one word that would put an end to all of it, but when he opened his mouth, it wasn’t to speak. Dom’s tongue surged past his lips without hesitation and Logan felt only relief as Dom consumed him. There was nothing soft or gentle about the kiss, no tentative exploring or asking permission. It was hard and rough and needy. And he felt it everywhere. His whole body exploded with desire as Dom’s tongue twined around his and Logan found himself angling his head to allow Dom deeper inside. The hand at the back of his neck tightened as if to prevent Logan from going anywhere, even though that was the last thing on his mind. And when Logan started kissing Dom back, it set something off in both of them and suddenly their bodies were pressed up against each other, skin on skin, hard muscle pressed against hard muscle, cocks seeking each other out.
It was only when Sylvie moaned that Dom finally pulled free of the kiss. Both men turned to see her sitting on the bed, unashamedly stroking herself as she watched them, her eyes hooded with lust.
“Get her ready,” Dom ordered as stepped back and began working the button on his pants.
Logan was so turned on that he didn’t hesitate even for a second before dropping down between Sylvie’s legs and seeking out her clit through the fabric of her panties with his mouth. She cried out at the contact and then dropped back on the bed. He pulled the underwear aside so he could reach her skin and then he stroked and sucked her as his fingers searched her soft folds. He knew Dom was watching them both and when he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down, he nearly came in his pants. Leaning back long enough to swipe the panties off of Sylvie, Logan spared Dom a glance and tried not to think too much about the rush of pleasure that went through him at the sight of the now naked man standing nearby, his thick hand stroking his heavy length.
Logan turned his attention back to Sylvie and returned his mouth to the throbbing bud. As he slowly teased it, he pressed one finger inside her, then two. She arched her back at the intrusion and her body rippled around him, telling him how close she was. He pulled his fingers back out and waited until Sylvie looked up at him. When she did, he sucked his fingers into his mouth, holding her gaze a moment before turning to let Dom watch him lick the rest of her cream off his digits. A harsh breath went through Dom at the sight and then he was grabbing Sylvie by the legs, dragging her closer to the end of the bed and thrusting into her, all in one seamless motion.
Logan pulled his shirt off and loosed his pants as he enjoyed the sight of Dom working his considerable length into Sylvie’s welcoming body. Her ass nearly hung off the edge of the bed as Dom gripped her thighs and angled her so he could hit that perfect spot inside of her that had her begging for relief every time he plunged forward. Logan leaned over her to suck a nipple into his mouth and she cried out at the contact. He was standing so close to Dom that he could feel the man’s heat coming off of him as he worked his wife’s body into a frenzy.
Logan let his hands caress Sylvie’s skin as he played with her breasts and then his fingers were working her clit again as Dom pounded into her. Logan turned to watch his own hand and Dom’s body work in tandem to bring Sylvie closer to the edge. Logan bit his lip hard as he realized how close he was to being able to touch Dom’s cock as it slid in and out of his wife. When he looked up to meet Dom’s eyes, he knew the man was thinking the same thing because he kept looking back down to where their bodies were just inches from being connected directly.
Sylvie began to scream as her orgasm claimed her. Logan reared back so that he was kneeling next to her hips and began stroking his painfully hard cock with nearly vicious strokes. It took him only a few moments to feel the pressure in his balls and the tingling in his spine and he knew he had seconds left before his release would take him. He was stunned when Dom pulled free of his wife’s still pulsing body and began stroking his own cock to match Logan’s movements. It was too much for Logan and he shouted in relief as he came, his seed spilling down onto the perfect skin of Sylvie’s abdomen. An instant later Dom groaned and his release pooled with Logan’s. Logan stroked himself a few more times as he watched the lines of white run together and the sight of it caused more fluid to leak from his already spent body. All that was left in the overwhelming quiet was harsh breaths and trembling bodies.
Logan recovered first and quickly pulled up his pants, ignoring the moisture that still clung to him. He stood up and went to the bathroom and easily found a washcloth. He cleaned himself off, then grabbed another and dampened it. His brain was screaming at him to get the hell out of there because this had become more fucked up then he ever could have imagined. He returned to the bedroom with the washcloth and stopped at the sight of Dom laying on top of Sylvie as they kissed and whispered things to one another. Neither seemed to even care that his and Dom’s release was now mixing between their two bodies.
A chill went over him as he realized he wanted to join them, to be a part of the kissing and touching that came after – he’d never had that before, hadn’t ever wanted it until this moment. He shook it off and hurried to the bed. He dropped the washcloth on the bed next to them as discretely as he could, then grabbed his shirt off the floor and left the room. He could have sworn he heard Sylvie call his name as he left, but he was too raw and emotional to stick around to see if they would invite him to join them or just give their thanks and wish him well.
As he neared the door, he came to a skidding halt when he saw an envelope on the table near the door. It had his name on it and he knew instantly what it was. Finding a tip waiting for him shouldn’t have been a surprise and it definitely shouldn’t have had him feeling the bile rise in his throat or ice flooding his veins. It should be the easiest thing to do to - grab it as he walked by. Something he’d done countless times. But just seeing that reminder that this had been a job like any other and that he had failed to remember that for even the briefest moment had him actually taking a wide berth around the envelope as if that could prevent the self-disgust that was building inside him.
He’d never exactly been proud of his profession, but this was the first time he ever felt the shame hit him like a physical blow. He was a whore, plain and simple. And not even a good one because even as he walked further away from the couple in the other room, he wished with every step that he could turn around and go back to them.
Chapter 1
One month later
Savannah Bradshaw watched her brother with worry as he worked on the worn finish of the old wood bar top.
Sweat clung to him in the dusty, stilted air and he looked like he was ready to drop, but he pressed on even after acknowledging her presence with a quick nod. She’d been meeting him for dinner every week for the last two months, but it was only in the last few weeks that he’d started standing her up, so she had taken to dropping in on him unannounced, sandwiches from his favorite deli in tow. Their relationship had been frayed for many years due to her own cowardice and fear, but she’d really hoped that they were making progress. And it seemed like they had shortly after he got out of the hospital after being shot. Now she wasn’t so sure because he was moodier than ever and there was a darkness in his eyes she’d never seen before.
Since he had the sander going, there was no way he’d be able to hear a word she said so she just sat at one of the few remaining tables that had survived the fire and pulled out the food. Minutes passed and she found her irritation growing as he continued to ignore her. Getting up, she made her way around the bar, found the extension cord and pulled it hard. She was rewarded with blissful silence as the sander snarled to a halt.
“Damn it Savannah,” Logan said as he released the sander and swiped a dirty arm across his forehead.
“I got your favorite,” she said expectantly as she waited for him to abandon his work. He did so with a huff and went to sit at the table, his big body dwarfing the rickety chair. He only stayed down for a minute though, long enough to grab his sandwich and then he was up and moving, pacing. It was very unlike him and Savannah’s apprehension grew. He looked unwell physically and she guessed he’d lost at least fifteen pounds.
“Are you sick?” she found herself asking and he stopped abruptly and turned around to look at her.
“What?”
“They found something at your last checkup, didn’t they? A complication from the shooting,” she said fearfully.
“No,” Logan said as he went to sit back down. She took the seat across from him, but had lost any appetite she had. “No, everything’s fine. I’m fine.”
Savannah swallowed hard. “I used to say that too, remember?” She saw him tense. “And we both know I was anything but fine.”
***
Logan flinched at her words and instantly felt guilty at causing his sister to worry. They’d finally started to mend the rift that had grown between them and here he was tearing them apart again. But how was he supposed to explain the myriad of emotions that had been strangling him since that night in the hotel – the last night he’d sold himself. He’d hoped that if he worked his body into a state of exhaustion, his mind would be forced to stop playing the images of that night on an endless loop and the feelings that went along with them would somehow disappear as if they never were. But it hadn’t happened and all he could feel was that taste of Dom on his lips, feel his tongue stroking his own, ache as that hard male body pressed against his. Even in sleep, his mind and body betrayed him and he was lucky to go even a couple of hours without the endless, burning need that seemed to claw through him now. He wanted another man.
It made no sense to him at all. Never in any of his years with women had it felt wrong or unnatural. True, he hadn’t really gotten off on it the way some men might, but that was because of the circumstances, not the women. At least that’s what he had always told himself. And he couldn’t remember a time that he ever looked at a member of his own sex and felt the stirrings of desire. But the way his body had responded to Dom, yearned for him even now, it was beyond fucked up and not something he could even begin to figure out how to explain to his sister.
“Do you still hate me?” she suddenly whispered, her eyes cast down, a shimmer of tears brightening them.
Shame lanced through him and he stood and gathered her into his arms. “No,” he whispered. He felt her hot tears sting his neck and more guilt washed through him. “I love you so much Savannah – more than anything. Nothing will ever change that, okay?” He felt her nod against his neck. “Do you remember how you told me you needed time to work through some things?”
She pulled back from him and nodded. He hadn’t known it back then, but Savannah had been caught in a revolving darkness of pain and fear which had caused her to pull away from him in the years after their parents died.
“I need you to give that to me now – time,” he said as he gripped her upper arms. He was glad she didn’t flinch away from him like she would have just a few short months ago. It was testament that whatever his best friend Shane had done to help her work through her pain was working. She was in love and she should feel only that – not worry or fear from him. Another reason to get his shit together, he thought grimly to himself.
“Okay,” she acknowledged. “Whenever you’re ready,” she said as she dashed away the tears and sat back down. He sat down as well, then took a bite of his sandwich, even though his appetite was gone.
“How’s Shane?” he asked, hoping the topic of the newfound love of her life would put that smile back on her face. It did.
“He’s good,” she said as she picked at her food. “A friend offered him a job at his security firm – he starts in a couple of weeks.”
Logan smiled at that. For all the planning that had been done by Shane’s parents to have their youngest son’s life turn out a certain way, Shane had gone and blown it all to hell in a matter of weeks. His friend had just started his final year of law school when he and Savannah began their relationship. Shane had been determined to stay the course and graduate next spring and move to Chicago to join his father’s firm, but apparently Savannah had been a game changer and Logan knew his friend couldn’t be any happier.
Shane had been in a pretty dark place for a long time and Logan had to admit he hadn’t been thrilled to find that his sister was consorting with his friend and fellow escort. But he’d also been kept in the dark about everything by Shane, Savannah and his other friends, Gabe and Riley. The betrayal had stung – admittedly still did – but he understood why he’d been lied to by so many and for so long.
“And the other stuff?” Logan asked carefully.
“It’s hard and he’s scared,” she admitted. “But he’s strong,” was all she said.
Logan nodded. It had come as a surprise to find out Shane suffered from the same drug addiction that had ultimately led to his older brother’s death. Michael had been only nineteen when he committed suicide by overdosing on heroin, leaving sixteen year old Shane to step into his shoes and take on the role of prodigal son. Logan had gotten along with Michael when they met as freshmen in college, but he hadn’t known him long – that was probably why he’d been able to see that Michael battled inner demons. But he hadn’t known Michael’s other secret – that he was gay – until long after his death. It was something that he was thinking a lot about now though.
“You guys find a place yet?” Logan asked.
She shook her head. “Now that he’s got a job, we’ll look for something that’s between downtown and Queen Anne.”
“We need to decide what to do with the house,” he said as he polished off the remainder of his sandwich. Up until two months ago, he and Savannah had lived in their childhood home together, but with things changing, he knew it was time to let it go.
“You should keep it for yourself,” she said.
He shook his head. “I can’t. Not after everything that happened,” he began before stuttering to a halt when he saw a flash of pain in her eyes. No, he couldn’t live in the house she’d been raped in by the man he’d brought into their lives - the man who’d tried to kill him with a bullet to the chest. He absent-mindedly began rubbing the scar on his chest and then caught himself and dropped his hand back down to the table.
“Whatever you decide is okay with me, Logan,” Savannah finally said. She looked like she was going to say something more, but her phone rang and a smile lit up her face when she saw the Caller ID. Shane.
“Hi,” she said softly, adoringly, as she got up and went to the other side of the bar for privacy. Logan chuckled to himself and then began
cleaning up the food wrappers. He stopped when a suddenly pale looking Savannah returned to the table. He stood.
“What is it?” he said, his gut clenching at the tears forming once again in her eyes.
“Um, a friend of ours - mine and Shane’s - died this morning,” she said on a half sob.
“Who?”
“Sylvie Barretti.”
Logan stilled at the name. It couldn’t be. Sylvie wasn’t the most common name but…
“Shane and I met her and her husband Dom a couple of months ago,” Savannah said, but he barely heard her after she said Dom’s name because the roaring in his ears was growing louder. Nausea gripped him and his throat closed as it sunk in. The beautiful, vibrant young woman he’d been with less than a month ago was gone.
“What happened?” he managed to ask.
“She was sick for a while. Cancer, I think,” Savannah said as she snatched a napkin from the table and dabbed at her eyes. “Shane’s just a few minutes away – we’re going to stop by Dom’s restaurant to pay our respects,” she muttered.
Logan couldn’t speak. Sylvie was gone and the man who had clearly loved her was alone. How could life be that cruel? Anyone who saw them together would have known they were meant to be together forever. He’d gotten to feel that for the briefest of moments, even if it was by proxy.
“The funeral’s on Monday if you want to come.”
Logan snapped his head out of his stupor. “I didn’t know them,” he nearly shouted, afraid she had somehow found out about what had happened.
She looked at him strangely and he realized his tone was harsher than he had intended. He shook his head in silent apology.
Logan's Need Page 2
