Logan's Need

by Sloane Kennedy

  Shane didn’t even flinch at the low blow. “Are you seriously trying to pull that shit with me?” Shane asked as he turned to face Logan. “I know you better than almost anyone and you think that crap is going to fly with me? Piss off your best friend so he’ll walk away and leave you alone? I fucking wrote the book on that bullshit, you asshole.”

  Logan leaned back against the shower stall. He was being a dick. His confrontation with Dom had left him a mess last night and he’d hurried out of there muttering excuses. The man had extended an offer of friendship and an understanding ear and Logan had pissed all over it and only stopped long enough on his way out the door to grab his keys. He hadn’t even managed a proper thank you or even a goodbye. He was a coward and now he was taking all of his frustrations out on Shane.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  “Don’t do what I did, man,” Shane said. “Don’t push everyone away. One – they won’t go, two – you’ll just end up hurting them.”

  Logan knew Shane was recalling the multiple occasions he had hurt those closest to him in an effort to get them to leave him first. Logan hesitated, then took the leap. “I’m attracted to someone I shouldn’t be.”

  Shane sat on the closed toilet, his hands clasped together as he waited patiently.

  Shit, shit, shit. “It’s Dom.”

  That got a reaction from his stoic friend, but amazingly, there was no condemnation – just surprise.

  “So you did meet him before yesterday,” Shane said.

  Logan nodded. “He hired me to be a third for him and his wife a couple of months ago.”

  Shane leaned back, his expression confused. Realization dawned. “Shit, he figured out what you did because I asked him to look into your past.”

  Logan slumped down so that he was sitting on the grimy shower floor.

  “I’m sorry, Logan,” Shane began. “I asked him to try and figure out who hurt Savannah.”

  Logan raised his hand. “It’s okay.” He was silent for a moment, then said, “I was attracted to him that night. Sylvie too. But I felt something for Dom I’d never felt for anyone else. We kissed, but that was it.” God, it felt weird talking to his friend about this.

  “You didn’t see him again after that?”

  “Not till the day of Sylvie’s funeral.” Logan scrubbed a dirty hand over his face. “She wrote me a letter.”

  “Who?”

  “Sylvie. She wrote me a letter telling me Dom was interested in me. She set that night up so that he could explore how he felt about me…about being with another man.”

  “Shit,” Shane muttered.

  “She asked me to check on him, so I did. I went up to his house on San Juan Island.”

  “What happened?”

  Logan buried his face in his hand. “I fucked him,” he whispered brokenly. “I didn’t mean for it to happen…the man had just buried his wife,” he said, choking back the humiliation. “He was hurting so bad, he kissed me, touched me. And I just lost it.”

  He heard Shane move, then felt a comforting hand on his shoulder as Shane kneeled across from him.

  “It’s okay,” Shane said.

  “It’s not. How can I suddenly want another man? This man?” Logan wrapped his arms around himself. “I like women. I’ve only ever wanted women.”

  Shane fell back on his haunches. “Maybe what you feel doesn’t need a label.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Shane shrugged. “Maybe you don’t need to call yourself straight or gay or bi.”

  “What else is there?” Logan asked numbly.

  “Why does there have to be a name for it? Maybe you’re one of those people that looks beyond the rules that society has set. Maybe it’s not about man or woman – maybe it’s just about how that person makes you feel.” Logan fell silent at that, his thoughts turbulent, bordering on painful. “Can I ask you something, Logan?”

  He nodded.

  “Are you attracted to me?”

  God, could this get more humiliating? He shook his head.

  “Are you attracted to Gabe?”

  “No,” he admitted. It was odd because Gabe and Dom had the same build type, gave off the same aura of confidence and strength.

  “What about Riley? Are you attracted to her?” Logan thought about that. Riley was a beautiful woman. He’d always noticed how attractive she was, but he’d never felt any stirrings of desire.

  “No,” he answered.

  “And your clients…did you want any of them the way you want Dom?”

  “No,” he said. “So many of them were beautiful and I was attracted enough to be with them, but…” his voice trailed off.

  “You didn’t really want them?” Shane ventured.

  Logan shook his head. “God, I’m so fucked up,” he whispered.

  “No, you’re not,” Shane said firmly. “Your brain knows it wants one person in particular. Your body knows it. The package they come in doesn’t matter.”

  “People won’t see it that way.” Logan said.

  Shane smiled and said, “Fuck ‘em.”

  Typical Shane response. Logan laughed.

  “Your family will support you no matter who you want to be with.”

  “I barely know him,” Logan began.

  “So get to know him. Or don’t. But don’t let something as insignificant as gender stop you from finding out.”

  “Hey, you guys okay in here?” Gabe asked as he appeared in the doorway. If he thought their seating arrangements were unusual, he was smart enough not to pry.

  “We’re good,” Shane answered as he stood, his eyes holding Logan’s. Logan nodded, then took the hand that Shane offered him.

  “Yeah, we’re good,” Logan said.

  ***

  Dom was just hanging up the phone when he heard a commotion outside his door, then Logan was striding in, Dom’s assistant hot on his trail.

  “I’m sorry Mr. Barretti. I asked him to wait,” she began, but Dom waved her off, his eyes staying on Logan as he stopped on the other side of the large desk, his eyes glittering with rage.

  “It’s fine Cecile. Can you close the door on your way out?”

  Logan slammed down a stack of papers he was holding onto the desk. “I’m not your goddamn whore!” he shouted as he jabbed his finger at the documents in front of him.

  Dom took a deep breath and reached out to grab the brightly colored pages, then slowly flipped through them. It only took him a few seconds to realize what he was looking at. “These are your medical bills,” he stated as he sifted through each page.

  The dollar amounts were staggering and it made sense now why Logan was working himself to the bone – why he’d accepted the offer from Dom and Sylvie to be their third. He’d known before he hired Logan that the young man had limited the amount of escorting he did, and the few jobs he did in recent years coincided with some large debt usually relating to keeping his bar in business.

  “I never called you a whore,” Dom calmly responded. He hadn’t actually used that ugly word, but he’d tossed money at him that fateful morning at the island house. Saying the words wouldn’t have been much crueler than what he’d done.

  “But that’s what you think of me as, right?” Logan spit out. “You can pay every single one of my debts, but I will never get on my fucking knees for you,” he said harshly.

  It took a second to understand what Logan was saying. He looked back down at the pages in his hand, then realized the balance on all of them was zero.

  “I didn’t pay these,” Dom said.

  “Look at the god damn name,” Logan said as he pointed to a line near the bottom of the first page. Barretti. The name was on every page.

  Dom sat in his chair, then pulled up a program on his computer. He punched a few keys, then sighed at what he saw. He turned the screen so Logan could see.

  “It was Sylvie,” he said. “Her grandfather left her and her brother trust funds – sizable ones. We never needed the money so she used it to fund charit
ies that she liked.” He regretted his words when he saw Logan go pale at the word “charities.”

  All the fire went out of Logan and he sank down into a chair on the other side of the desk.

  “It looks like she paid these bills a couple weeks before she died. I didn’t know anything about it,” Dom said quietly as he turned the screen back around.

  “Why?’ Logan asked. “Why would she do that?”

  “She liked you Logan – a lot. She liked your sister and Shane. It was probably her way of trying to help you get back on your feet.”

  Logan was quiet for a long time, then finally said, “I wish you’d never picked me.”

  The comment hurt like hell, but Dom schooled his expression. After Logan had left his place Thanksgiving night, he’d reminded himself that he needed to keep his distance from him, despite his continuing obsession with the young man. Logan was hurt and confused and needed space. His offer to be a sounding board had been genuine, but trying to control the desire that flashed through him every time Logan was near would have been an endless struggle. But to have the man condemn that they’d even met in the first place made his gut burn. His instinct for self-preservation kicked in.

  “Pay the money back or don’t, Logan. I don’t give a shit. But don’t put words in my mouth again.” Dom shoved the papers back across the desk. “You should go. I have a lot of work to do.”

  “Dom,” Logan began, his tone apologetic. But Dom wasn’t in the mood.

  “Go.”

  ***

  Logan had cursed himself the moment he said he’d wished he’d never met Dom and Sylvie. It was a complete and total lie. And he hadn’t missed the flash of pain that had coursed through Dom when he’d said the words.

  “I didn’t mean that,” Logan offered. Dom ignored him and focused on the papers in front of him. He huffed in frustration and stood up. But he didn’t leave. Instead, he started pacing back and forth in front of Dom’s desk. Leaving was the best option – he should end this…whatever this was. Walk away. So why wouldn’t his legs do what his brain was telling him? He turned to face Dom and saw that the man was quietly studying him. It made him feel exposed, vulnerable…weak.

  “Just go, Logan,” Dom said again, almost gently this time. He was giving him an out.

  Instead of leaving, Logan said, “I knew that’s what I was the first time I did it.” He started moving again. “A whore. No one ever says it to your face though. It’s always ‘escort’ because that’s classier.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t even fuck the first woman who hired me.” He laughed harshly. “She was trying to get back at her husband because he was cheating on her, but in the end she couldn’t go through with it so I just held her while she cried. I even felt kind of good afterwards when she thanked me for being there for her. Then she handed me a wad of cash and I wanted to throw up.” Logan went over to the window, not daring to look back at Dom. “I used the money to pay that month’s mortgage,” he whispered.

  He heard Dom shift in his chair behind him, but he kept his gaze on the window. “When you threw that money down in front of me that morning…when I saw your name on those bills-”

  Logan crossed his arms around himself as if he could ward off the cold feeling that was seeping through him. “It shouldn’t have mattered. I should have been able to take the money and walk away.”

  “Why didn’t you?” he heard from somewhere behind him. He was afraid to turn and see if Dom had left his chair.

  “I never kissed any of them. Never,” Logan said harshly. “Not until that night. Not until Sylvie, until you.”

  “You didn’t forget the money that night, did you?” Dom asked and Logan saw his reflection in the glass. Only a few feet separated them.

  Logan shook his head. “Fuck!” Logan swore as he slammed his hand against the glass. “I never gave a shit about what anyone thought of me. It shouldn’t matter what you think of me.”

  “Damn it Logan, what do you want from me?” Dom shouted. Logan turned and leaned back against the window as he watched Dom do the pacing now. “My wife is dead and instead of mourning her the way I should, I keep thinking about you!” Dom twisted his wedding band over and over in his agitation.

  “I’m sorry,” Logan began.

  Dom flung out his hand to cut Logan off. “Shut up,” he muttered. Two strides and he was in Logan’s space. “Just shut the fuck up,” Dom said again right before he covered Logan’s mouth with his own. The force of the angry kiss slammed Logan’s head back against the glass, but he barely noticed as he felt Dom’s hungry tongue search out his own.

  Dom pinned him against the glass with his unforgiving body, something Logan was coming to love. The control this man had over him, over his body, should scare him, but it only heightened his desire. Dom sucked, nipped and tortured his mouth, each move sizzling through his nerve endings and sending blood rushing to his cock. His arms locked around Dom’s lower back in case the man tried to escape, then drifted down to his hard ass. When he squeezed, Dom moaned and then rubbed his pelvis against Logan’s.

  Logan tried to pull Dom’s shirt from his pants so he could touch bare skin, but Dom had other ideas and dropped to his knees. It took the man only seconds to release Logan’s aching length from his jeans and underwear and before he could even process what would happen next, Dom’s mouth sucked him down to the root.

  “Fuck!” Logan shouted as he slammed his hips forward. He heard Dom gag slightly and tried to pull back, but Dom was sucking him intently and he felt hard fingers dig into the globes of his ass to keep him from moving. He’d had a couple of girls in college give him blowjobs, but they didn’t hold a candle to this. Within seconds his head felt like it was going to explode off his shoulders and he cried out as his balls drew up. It was too fast, he knew, but he was powerless to stop it. Just as he was ready to let go, Dom released him. “No, please,” he begged shamelessly as he tried to force Dom’s head back.

  “Easy,” Dom whispered as he nuzzled Logan’s crotch, and then cupped his balls, holding them to prevent the explosion that was so imminent. He felt Dom’s tongue lick him from base to tip, then he was teasing the slit on the crown. Logan’s limbs felt like they were going to give out so he leaned harder against the glass and locked his knees. Dom teased him over and over until Logan was begging him for relief.

  “Look at me,” Dom ordered. When Logan did as he was told, Dom swallowed him again, his dark eyes never leaving Logan’s. As he bobbed his head up and down Logan’s length, he reached into his own pants and started stroking himself. It was the most erotic thing Logan had ever seen. When Dom swallowed around him, Logan gave up the battle and dropped his head back against the glass as he felt the tell-tale tingle in the base of spine. He moaned as he came and Dom swallowed his release, every tug milking more pleasure from him.

  Dom groaned around his cock and Logan looked down just in time to see white jets of come spurt from the head of Dom’s swollen length and drip down his hand. He couldn’t move and didn’t want to as Dom slid up the length of his body as he stood and then kissed him, the salty taste of his release still on the man’s tongue. They made out like that for several minutes until Dom finally released him and stepped back. He didn’t say anything as he went to his desk and grabbed a couple of tissues to clean himself off with. As the languid pleasure from his body ebbed, Logan remembered where they were and quickly straightened his clothing.

  “You should probably go now,” Dom said as he turned and went towards a side door – a bathroom presumably. A chill went through Logan at the dismissal, but he nodded and watched Dom disappear into the other room. He sucked in a breath, then grabbed the stack of medical bills from the desk and left the office.

  Chapter 6

  Dom tried to steady his breathing as he heard the outer door snick closed. He gripped the sink hard as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Flushed skin, swollen lips. He could still taste Logan’s unique flavor and he knew he should rinse out his mouth to
rid himself of the reminder of what he’d just done. He hadn’t even had enough sense to lock the door. It was a true testament to his assistant’s professionalism that she hadn’t come running into the room when Logan had shouted the second Dom had swallowed his thick length all the way down. He just hoped he was paying her enough to keep this little tidbit of information about her boss out of the office gossip pool.

  Dom washed his hands, then scrubbed his face for good measure. He searched out the fresh suit he always had on hand on the hanger on the back of the bathroom door and began changing his clothes. As his fingers skimmed over the dampness in his pants, he smiled at the knowledge that he never once would have guessed that his emergency change of clothes would be needed for this situation. Especially since he’d had no plans to do more than send Logan on his way. The man’s comments about his regret at meeting him and Sylvie had changed something inside Dom – it had been a harsh reminder that Logan didn’t belong in his life. No one did…the only one who was supposed to be there was gone and his physical desire for Logan was just a response to his grief. A way to cope.

  But instead of grabbing the man to escort him physically from his office, he’d kissed him and the taste of those lips had him on his knees before he could even think better of it. It had been rough and fast and part of him wished he could have had the restraint needed to worship Logan’s body the way he wanted. Even better, he could have fucked Logan as he was pressed up against that glass, his hot breath steaming up the window as Dom hammered into him from behind, that tight ass clenching his cock in fiery heat.

  “Shit,” Dom muttered as his dick started to harden again. He pulled the remaining clothes on, then went back to his desk and tried to focus on the screen in front of him. Within seconds of sitting down, his cell phone rang and he looked down and felt relief shoot through him when he saw the Caller ID.

  “Vin,” he answered, his voice shaky.

  “Hey,” his brother said, the connection buzzing with static.