She still had her fingers around her father’s. It had been a few weeks since she’d asked, and now was as good a time as any. “Have you heard anything?”
Her dad’s expression told her he understood what she was talking about. “Not yet. Nothing but bits and pieces.”
Ashley looked out at Cole. “You wouldn’t think it would take this long.”
“No.” He followed her gaze. “I’m doing my best, Ashley.”
“I know.” She released his fingers, stood, and picked up the grocery bag. “I guess I just have this dream that somehow we’ll all be together at the reunion.” She looked at him. “Even our older brother.”
“Yes.” Her father rose and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Any tadpoles yet, Coley? It’s pretty early for them.”
“I think so!” Cole shot straight up and motioned for his grandfather to come. He pointed back at the water. “They’re sleeping, though.”
Her dad chuckled. “Looks like I have a little tadpole hunting to do.”
For a minute she watched him lumber off to be with Cole. This was what she loved about her dad. He cared about his kids and grandkids so much. When he said he’d been looking forward to the dinner, he was telling exactly how he felt. Never mind that he’d practiced medicine this week or that he’d probably had a hand in saving a few lives because of his daily decisions at work. This was what made him feel alive—being with his family.
Ashley took the groceries inside and in an hour dinner was almost ready. By then, her dad and Cole were inside watching college basketball on TV.
The house began to fill up around six o’clock when Brooke, Peter, and their two girls arrived.
Maddie, who was a year older than Cole, scrambled inside and raced over to him. She was holding a flutelike recorder. “Coley, I learned a song for you!”
“Really?”
“Yes!” Maddie put the recorder to her lips as the adults filed into the room. With great effort and care she meticulously played “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” As the song got under way, Cole bounced along to the beat. When Maddie finished, she raised the recorder in the air and began bouncing alongside Cole. “See!” They exchanged high fives. “That was just for you, Coley!”
Cole ran to Ashley. “Can I have one too, Mommy? Please . . . please can I have a special flute like Maddie’s?”
Ashley gave Brooke a pointed smile. “Wow, thanks, Brooke. Can I bring him to your house for practice sessions?”
Kari and Ryan and Jessie and little Ryan arrived then.
“You missed the concert,” Cole told them.
“Yes.” Ashley grinned at Kari. “Maddie gave a very impressive concert on her recorder.”
Maddie jumped around, excited. “I can do it again, Aunt Ashley! Listen!” She launched into another round.
When she was finished, everyone clapped and laughed, and the atmosphere remained upbeat throughout dinner.
Landon arrived just as they were finishing up, and Ashley felt her heart skip a beat. No wonder Cole saw his daddy as a hero. He looked every bit the part, walking through the door with his uniform smudged from smoke.
“Office building,” he explained. He brushed his knuckles against his dirty cheek and headed for Ashley. “Someone left a coffeemaker on—at least it seems that way.” He leaned down and kissed her, then placed a kiss on the top of Cole’s head.
“Did you save anyone, Daddy?” Cole was on his feet, his eyes bright.
“We rescued an older woman.” He gave a sad shake of his head. “Must’ve gotten confused in the smoke and lost her way. They took her to the hospital, but she’ll be fine. Just a little smoke inhalation.”
Ashley shivered at the words smoke inhalation. It was what had nearly killed Landon in a house fire a few years back. This was the part of his job that always kept her on her knees—in close conversation with the Lord. Every day she placed Landon in God’s hands. Otherwise she would’ve been crazy with worry each time he went to work.
Ashley watched her husband dish up a bowl of chili, grab a few slices of bread, and take his place beside her.
She wrinkled her nose. “You stink.”
“Yeah.” He winked at her. “Fires do that to you.”
“Firefighters put out big blazes in all kinds of buildings.” Cole gave a serious look to Maddie. “They’re also in charge of rescuing people.”
Cole continued his explanation, and after a few minutes Maddie looked at him, her brow raised halfway up her forehead. “Yeah, only I already know that, Coley.”
Her comeback drew a laugh from everyone at the table except Cole. He gave his cousin a look that suggested there would be more to the discussion later when the grown-ups weren’t gathered around.
When they finished visiting, they made a conference call to Luke and Reagan and another one to Erin and Sam. Things were busy at both households, but they were all excited about the upcoming reunion.
“You aren’t gonna have that baby early, are you?” Luke’s laugh rang over the tinny speakerphone.
The sound of it made Ashley smile. She’d missed Luke more than she had remembered. “The baby’s under strict orders: no birth until mid-April.”
“Good.”
Again they laughed.
By the end of the evening, the family had made plans for everyone to fly in the first Friday in April. Luke and Reagan and their two children—Tommy and Malin, their daughter recently adopted from China—would stay in two of the bedrooms. Erin and Sam and their four girls—Heidi Jo, Amy, Chloe, and Clarisse—would take the other spare bedrooms, since Erin said the little girls liked the idea of sleeping in the same bedroom. Everyone else would camp out at the Baxter house each night as late as possible or use the cots in the basement.
When the plans were set, Brooke and Peter offered to do dishes. Their dad sat with the kids at the dining room table, playing Scrabble Junior. Hayley was still using a walker to get around. She couldn’t play, but she stayed interested, watching everything her sister, Maddie, did.
Landon took Ashley’s hand and motioned to the front door. “Wanna take a walk? It’s not that cold outside.”
She felt her heart soar. She loved this, loved that even now, on a regular day, after a regular dinner, with nothing real to celebrate or mark the moment, Landon still found a way to make every moment special.
Once Ashley had heard a speaker at church, a woman whose message rang with the notion of holding on to every day, every minute. “You must take time to love the people God has put in your life,” she had said.
Landon might as well have written her talk.
Ashley smiled at him and pushed back from the table. “If I can get up.”
He helped her to her feet, and they put on their coats. They held hands as they went out on the porch. The moon was almost full, and it cast a soft light across the porch and driveway. Landon led her down the steps and put his arm around her shoulders.
“You still smell like smoke.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, their steps slow and evenly paced as they headed down the driveway. He was right. It wasn’t that cold outside. “Was it bad, the fire?”
“Not really. Lots of paper. I think it burned hotter because of that. Boxes of kindling, that sort of thing.”
“You were safe, though?” She stopped and turned into his arms. She’d been wearing flatter shoes lately. They weren’t as hard on her back, with the extra weight she was carrying. Now she felt short next to Landon.
“Perfectly.” He grinned at her, his expression alive with love and hope and an adoration that had been there since he was a teenager. He brushed his hand along the back of her head. “Has anyone ever told you . . . you have the most beautiful hair?”
She gave a sad laugh. “I miss her. Irvel. Cole and I stopped by Sunset Hills today.” Irvel had been Ashley’s favorite patient when she worked at the home. Irvel had taught her much about love and life. And always the dear old woman would tell Ashley how lovely her hair was. Even if she’d just said so five minu
tes earlier.
“I’m glad you still stop in.” He allowed his smile to fade some. “Have they replaced Edith?”
“Yes.” She bit her lip. “Helen and Bert are doing well.”
“Hey.” He was studying her, looking as starry-eyed as he had when they had first started dating. He crooked his finger and placed it beneath her chin. “I’m serious about the compliment, though. Have I told you how beautiful you look?”
She arched her back and made an exaggerated push of her belly. “Oh, sure.”
“No, I’m serious.” There wasn’t even a hint of teasing in Landon’s voice. “I look at you and I see love the way God meant it to be. New life growing out of a relationship only He could’ve put together.” He brought his lips to hers and kissed her slowly, tenderly.
Ashley returned his kiss, amazed at the passion between them even now. When she eased back, her voice was huskier than before. “Think we’ll still have time for this . . . when the baby comes?”
“We might not have time for eating—” he kissed her, nuzzling his face against hers—“but we’ll have time for this.”
They started walking again. “Cole kicked a boy at school today.”
“What?” Landon hesitated, searching her eyes as if maybe she were joking. “That doesn’t sound like Cole.”
She raised one eyebrow at him. “He was trying to be a hero. Like you.” She laughed at the memory. They fell back into an easy pace. “Actually, he was. The boy he kicked was bullying a handicapped child.”
“Oh.” Landon smiled. “I hope I don’t have to punish him for that.”
“I think the principal already took care of it.” She laughed again. “It was hard keeping a straight face earlier. He’ll have to tell you the story.”
They were quiet for a minute. Finally Landon stopped and faced her again. He looked up at the moon, the stars. “Can I confess something?” His eyes found hers, and for the first time in a long time, she saw something other than easygoing confidence and love looking back at her.
She saw fear.
“Anything, Landon.” She felt no sense of alarm, but she didn’t blink, didn’t want to miss whatever was coming.
He drew back and cupped his hands gently around her abdomen, around the place where their baby was just starting to kick. “Sometimes I’m afraid.”
“Afraid?” The moment seemed surreal. Ashley had the certainty that she would remember this walk as long as she lived.
“Of the birth, of whatever you have to go through.” He swallowed, his eyes wider than before. “I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you, Ash.”
She brought her hands to his face and framed it. “Landon, honey . . . nothing’s going to go wrong.” She leaned up, kissed him, and flashed a quick grin. “I’ve done this before, remember?”
“I know.” He exhaled as if he’d been holding in this secret for too long and now he was relieved it was out. “But I haven’t.”
She didn’t say anything to that. But she kissed him again, longer this time. She wasn’t worried at all, not even a little. Still, neither of them could make promises about the future. Everything about their relationship had taught them that much. And she understood what he meant, how he was feeling. Everything about life as they’d known it was about to change. Cole would have to share their attention with his new sister or brother, and no matter what they intended, there would be days when they didn’t have time for each other—not enough time, anyway.
Landon seemed to read her thoughts. He ran one finger along her cheekbone. “You know what I picture?”
“What?”
“Bringing the kids over here and taking a walk just like this one. A couple times a week if that’s what it takes.”
“If that’s what it takes for what?” She gave him a teasing look, the kind she always gave him when they were playing with each other this way.
“To make sure you never forget how much . . .” He took her face in his hands and kissed her long and slow. When he pulled back, the love in his expression was so pure and real and deep it took her breath away. “How much I love you, Ashley.”
In that moment, she could almost feel God answering a prayer she’d whispered years earlier. It had been a time when she was sitting beside a sick Irvel at Sunset Hills. Irvel had been the most gracious woman Ashley had ever known—apart from her own mother. Though Irvel’s husband, Hank, had been dead for nearly a decade, she lived in a world where he was still alive. Just gone for the afternoon, fishing with the boys, she’d say.
The way Irvel adored Hank, the way his love had carried Irvel through long after he was gone, that was the sort of love Ashley had longed for—a sort of love she hadn’t even been sure existed. So that night she had prayed about it, asking God that if a love like that existed, could He please move mountains so she could experience it?
And now here they were, and Ashley could see for herself that the love Irvel and Hank shared did indeed exist.
Because it existed in the person of Landon Blake.
John Baxter had been restless all night.
It wasn’t his style to lie to his daughter. Lying went against everything he believed in, and from the moment he did so, he replayed the conversation in his head looking for how he might’ve avoided being dishonest. Every time he came up with the same answer. There hadn’t been any way around it.
Now that he knew the truth about his son’s identity, he was doing everything he could to make contact with him. He’d left three messages with Dayne’s agent, and still no one had called him back. It wasn’t that he was unwilling to tell Ashley what he’d found, but rather he wanted to give her a complete picture.
Because by his actions, Dayne had made it clear that he might not want anything to do with them. If that was the case, fine. John needed to know as much, and then he could tell Ashley the whole truth. Together they could figure out how to tell the others. It was one thing to spring the news on them that they had a biological older brother. But the idea that he had rejected them would make the conversation almost impossible.
That was the reason he couldn’t tell Ashley—not yet. He didn’t want to mar her thinking about Dayne if maybe the reason he hadn’t made contact was because he didn’t know what to say, or if the silence from his agent was unintentional. Once Ashley had an inkling that her older brother was famous and might be avoiding them, she would be angry at him before another step could be taken.
In his quiet time with the Lord, John continued to hear the same thing. The verse from Matthew: With God all things are possible. For that reason, he held out hope. Maybe Dayne’s agent was swamped with messages. Maybe he was unable to get word to Dayne. Maybe he’d tried to return John’s call and gotten the numbers wrong.
There were a dozen reasons John could imagine for the man not calling him back. But the more time that passed, the harder it was to imagine a single one of them being true. And now with Ashley asking about her older brother every time they were together, it was especially hard. If he didn’t hear from Dayne’s agent soon, he’d have to tell Ashley what he knew—even if the details left her jaded.
He was working on the fish pond this afternoon, clearing dead weeds from between the rocks and making a small embankment out of pebbles, a place where Cole and Maddie could get closer to the water without climbing over the bigger boulders that circled the water. He could hardly wait to see Cole’s reaction to the changes.
The little landing area was clear of dirt and rocks, so John walked toward the garage for the wheelbarrow of pebbles. In his back pocket was his cell phone. Just in case this was the hour Dayne or his agent chose to call. He squinted in the sunlight, glad that the day was in the fifties, as it had been off and on all week. Unusual for an Indiana February.
It was the sort of day that made him miss Elizabeth more than usual. Even if earlier this morning he’d spent a few hours with Elaine Denning. They’d met at a coffeehouse near the university because he was desperate to talk about Dayne. Until now, he’d
kept the news of his identity to himself—thinking it wasn’t right for anyone but his children to know what he’d found. But in light of the silence from Dayne’s camp, he needed to tell someone. Elaine, very simply, was the only one who knew about his secret firstborn son but who wasn’t emotionally involved.
As he wheeled the pebbles across the driveway and over to the pond, he replayed his earlier conversation with Elaine. . . .
They’d taken a corner table, a little ways from the traffic near the counter. When they were both seated with their coffees, he breathed in deeply. “I found him.”
Elaine looked confused at first. “You found who?” Something in his eyes must’ve clued her in, because she didn’t wait for his answer. Her tone changed, soft and incredulous. “You found . . . your older son?”
John nodded. “It’s . . . it’s very complicated.” Whenever he thought about Dayne, he choked up. He massaged his throat. No question the conversation would be difficult. When he could find the words, he looked straight at her, to the place in her heart he knew would understand. “He’s an actor, Elaine. A very famous actor.”
She searched his face. “Have I heard of him?”
A sad chuckle filled the space between them. “The whole world’s heard of him.”
“Okay, it’s killing me.” Her words were slow, laced with shock. “Who is he?”
John glanced over his shoulder, as if someone might be listening. “Dayne Matthews.” He leaned back in his chair, feeling the surprise again himself. “It doesn’t even sound real saying it. Not yet, anyway.”
“Are you serious?” Elaine dropped her voice a notch. “Dayne Matthews is your biological son?”
“Yes.” John warmed his fingers against his coffee cup, letting the information sink in for both of them.
“No wonder he looks like Luke.”
“Exactly.” John gazed out the window. The reality was too new. He still had no real way to put his feelings into words. “The investigator I hired was good. He found out more than I could’ve dreamed.”
Elaine didn’t blink. She took a sip of her coffee, waiting for whatever was coming.
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